The Real World: Key West, Episode 4: Creepy and Kooky, Mysterious and Spooky

Last week: Light was shed on Paula’s eating disorder. John and Tyler got in a fight concerning gay bars.

Svetlana reads and takes notes about anorexia. Tyler tells Svetlana that that isn’t what she should be doing and that they should be calling psychologists instead. She tells us that he is so used to being defensive that sometimes he doesn’t think about what he is saying, but most of the time he is intentionally being hurtful.

A woman comes to the door and gives them a notice that they will be starting their new job. Zach thinks that they may be doing something with deep-sea diving or sharks.

Tyler tells Jose that there are some people in the house who don’t need money. Tyler says that he’ll be the first person to tell Svetlana to pick up the pace or leave. I bet he will. Jose tells us that Svetlana is ambiguous about her upbringing. She’s said that she used to be poor in Brooklyn but she also flaunts her expensive items. Tyler wants to look at strengths and weaknesses of everyone in the house.

Janelle explains that they are going on a ghost hunt, which apparently Key West is famous for. It’s pouring and they meet their guide, Brant. The best part is that Brant introduces himself has your guide this evening and the text on the screen is “Brant, Your Guide this Evening.” Brant is really loud and really annoying after just five seconds. But not as annoying as Tyler.

He takes them to a club which used to be a Baptist church and tells a ghost story. Tyler laughs about it but Svetlana seems to be very affected by it. The go to the Hard Rock Café and learn about some possessed doll in Key West named Robert. Robert has a long history in Key West in causing havoc in the town. Janelle jokes (I hope) that she doesn’t even like mentioning his name after all of the scary things that she’s heard about him.

Back at the house, Zach, John, and Jose conspire about making a Robert doll. Zach says that the plan they came up with is for Jose to be wrapped up in toilet paper and that’ll turn him into Robert the doll.

At 4:15 Zach and John’s alarm goes off and they creep past the girls’ room to make sure they’re still sleeping. They wrap Jose in toilet paper and label an “R” on his chest. Zach and John crawl to the foot of one of the girls’ bed and then Jose makes loud noises…and nothing much really happens. Yeah, Svetlana says that she almost s**t herself but there were no blood-curdling screams.

The roommates get ready to find out what their job is. Zach jokes that it’ll be a pig farm.

They pull up to a place called “Pineapple Gallery.” Paula and Janelle assume that they will be selling art. Svetlana is upset because she doesn’t want to sell art. She says that she doesn’t get art (surprise, surprise) and it would be hard to sell something she doesn’t get. Svetlana looks upset and then Tyler snaps, “What could you possibly be putting about right now?” He calls her an ornery little brat. Lovely.

During the fight a man comes in and introduces himself as Ricky Croft. He gives them an introduction to what they will be doing. First he asks if anyone has started a business before. And Svetlana raises her hand. I’m confused. Basically we learn that it was her parents business and she helped a little bit. Tyler is reveling in this moment.

Ricky continues the presentation, saying that in 1998 and 1999 he and a partner created this product and the roommates will have a short amount of time to sell this product. We still have no idea what this product is. For all we know it could be art, milkshakes, crack cocaine, or Trump Ice.

Ricky is one of the co-inventors of the product and it is…Mystic Tan. Ugh. I’d rather it had been Trump Ice. At least that won’t give you skin cancer. And it’s yuge.

The reactions are lukewarm, especially from Janelle. It’s a spray, and they show a demonstration and it looks really weird. It’s like some bad backyard water toy that turns you orange.

John is excited because it would attract a younger demographic, and possibly hot girls who want to get tan. There will be a 50/50 profit sharing. All they do is supply labor. Tomorrow they have to start painting, electrical, and plumbing because in 14 days they are scheduled for opening. He will front them $5,000 for the opening event. They’ll be there tomorrow at nine.

At dinner they go around and ask what people’s strengths are. Janelle says that she knows how to sell. Paula says that she received a degree in marketing and graphic arts. She says in a confessional that the job is her number one focus and she knows that she has other issues but she is going to put them on a little bit of a hold for awhile. Zach says that they need to understand that when they are at work they have to be colleges and when they go home they have to leave work at work.