The Amazing Race 9, Episode 4: Gnome-Man’s Land

Previously on Make Your Way to the Pit Stop… Just Kidding!: Nine teams headed out from Brotas, Brazil (though Lake & Michelle had trouble navigating). The race headed to Moscow, where Yolanda jumped into a pool for a roadblock, despite the fact that she can’t swim. Wanda froze in more ways than one but faced her fear of deep water. The Ds and Eric & Jeremy “hooked up” (in whatever way they might mean that) but were separated when Danielle lost her team’s pack. Frink and Mojo also hooked up, though in a definitely platonic way, and got lost in their shared cab. When we last saw the teams, some were cleaning trolleys and some were looking for clues in matrioshka dolls. Eric & Jeremy reached the mat first but learned that it wasn’t a pit stop. The remaining teams are:

Eric & Jeremy - Friends/Think they’re cooler than they are/Dead to me

Lake & Michelle - Married/Both of them need to be quiet already

Ray & Yolanda - Dating/Silent threats, I’m telling you

BJ & Tyler - Friends/Sentimental favorites/Aren’t in front for the first time

Fran & Barry (Frankenberry) - Married/Sentimental favorites/Aren’t out yet, mostly thanks to equalizers

Dani & Danielle (Double D) - Friends/Need to stop flirting with Eric & Jeremy and concentrate on the race

Wanda & Desiree (Team Boricua) - Mother and daughter/Becoming sentimental favorites

Monica & Joseph (Team Mojo) - Dating/Working with Frink

Dave & Lori (Team Frink) - Dating/Sentimental favorites/I love them

We get a replay of the last scene of the last episode, with Eric & Jeremy and Lake & Michelle looking for Phil in Red Square. Jeremy & Eric reach him first, and instead of getting a prize for getting to the pit stop first, they get another clue. It sends them more than 1,000 miles away to Frankfurt, Germany. From there, they’ll take a train about 100 miles to Stuttgart, where they’ll find their next clue at a Mercedes-Benz factory. The guys head off and Michelle & Lake arrive second. Michelle looks cute with her braids and bandanna. Eric & Jeremy are upset that they might not get to hold onto their lead. Michelle enjoyed running through Red Square.

It’s dark out as Ray & Yolanda arrive at the mat in third place. Good for them! Too bad the leg isn’t over. Ray hopes that they can get to Germany tonight and keep their head start. At the theater, Barry finally finds a clue and he and Fran head out in fifth place. Tyler & BJ hope that Frankenberry aren’t out. The hippies themselves reach the mat in fourth place. They tip Phil with some American money and tell him they’ll see him in Germany, then grab the money back as they run off. They spot Frankenberry and are happy they’re still in the race. They’re still in fifth, to be exact. Tyler says it’s not over until the Phil sings.

The Ds, Boricua, Frink, and Mojo are all cleaning their trolleys. Boricua finish first, followed by the Ds. Eric & Jeremy go to the Lufthansa counter at the airport, followed by Lake & Michelle. Jeremy & Eric cement their lead by getting on a 7:05 p.m. flight while Michelle & Lake are shut out. Mojo finishes cleaning their trolley and Frink is right behind them, so they all share a cab again.

The Ds are sixth to the pit stop, followed very closely by Boricua. The Ds hope that things will go all right for them on the rest of the leg. Mojo spots Phil in Red Square before Frink does and hits the mat in eighth place. Thank God this leg isn’t over because Frink are last. As they’re leaving, Dave says that they’re still worried, though, since they’re behind everyone else.

Michelle & Lake get on a 9:15 p.m. flight. Ray & Yolanda arrive and Lake tells them where to get in line. Apparently the lines are annoying and don’t move very much. Frankenberry and BJ & Tyler get in lines as well. The Ds and Boricua are dismayed to learn that Jeremy & Eric have already left the airport; the Ds are especially upset because they could have been in the lead as well. Ray & Yolanda’s ticket agent’s computer goes down. Uh, oh.

Jeremy & Eric are already in Frankfurt. They quickly get a train and revel in the lucky breaks they’ve been getting. Everyone else is now at the airport and may not be able to get on the 9:15 flight. Tyler & BJ are the last to get on it, and on the plane they tell Michelle & Lake that they were standing in a line that wasn’t open but which opened while they were waiting. There’s a lot of luck in this episode. Mojo learns that the next flight out is at 7 a.m., so there isn’t much hope for the remaining teams.

Ray & Yolanda, Mojo, Frankenberry, the Ds, Boricua, and Frink are all out of luck. It looks like everyone except Mojo is heading to a hotel for the night; Mojo decides to camp out in the airport. On the train to Stuttgart, Eric & Jeremy ask a guy about the women in Germany. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. At the Mercedes factory, they learn that they’ll have to do a test drive on something called the Wall of Death to get their next clue. It’s twisty and goes vertical at some places; it looks a little like a roller coaster without the loops. However, the factory doesn’t open until 8:30 a.m., so there’s a little bit of an equalizer here. The guys head to a hotel for the night. Lake & Michelle and Tyler & BJ arrive at the factory, then head off for the night as well.

Back in Moscow, the other six teams all get on the 7 a.m. flight to Germany. At 8:30, Eric & Jeremy, Lake & Michelle, and Tyler & BJ file into the factory for their test drive. Fortunately for their own safety, they’re riding with professional drivers. They get up to at least 170 kilometers per hour and they all seem to be enjoying the ride. The clue they get at the end tells them to drive the Mercedes (Mercedeses?) about 200 miles to Ellbach Field. They get to drive on the Autobahn, which is kind of cool.

The train carrying the other six teams arrives around 11:15 a.m. Frink make up some time by getting a cab first, which makes me very happy. Boricua are smart and learn the German word for “fast.” Frink are fourth to the Wall of Death, followed by Ray & Yolanda. During the ride Lori says she’s glad they didn’t eat on the train. Boricua are sixth to the Wall of Death, followed by the Ds in seventh, Mojo in eighth, and Frankenberry in ninth. Frink and Ray & Yolanda try to get directions. Desiree enjoys the ride while the Ds look like they’re in awe and Mojo scream. Frankenberry call the ride “wild.” Boricua have some pronunciation problems and Desiree tells Wanda that it’s confusing when she says everything with a Spanish accent.

Yolanda & Ray finally get directions and Yolanda chooses to punctuate this with, “Hot booty.” These two grow on me more and more each week. Mojo and Frink, however, aren’t having much luck. Frink has decided, however, that they’re not working with Mojo anymore, which is a good idea. Boricua aren’t sure where they’re going. Neither are the Ds, who are following them. Boricua get off the Autobahn and tell the Ds that they’re going the wrong way. Unfortunately, they can’t get back on the Autobahn at that point.

Jeremy & Eric are, of course, first to the field. They’re greeted by a roadblock. Our old friend the Travelocity Roaming Gnome is back, and one team member must search for a gnome under gnome halves. (It’s weirder than it sounds, if that’s possible.) Jeremy takes the roadblock for the guys and finds a gnome quickly. The next clue sends the teams to Bavaria Film and specifically tells them to take the gnome with them, though nothing ever comes of that.