The Amazing Race 9, Episode 4 Insider: Girls, Girls, Girls

The race is in full swing and with a few minor annoyances, I’m pretty happy with it. Still too much potential for bunching; because without Eric & Jeremy getting super lucky and the computers going down, there would have been way more bunching up this episode. We have also hit the point were more and more people will probably get on my nerves with defeatist attitudes. Fatigue has set in, so I guess it’s natural to whine “we’re going to lose” when you can’t find a gnome or something. However, it gets old. Future TAR racers, make a vow NOT to say that until Phil ousts you, k? Pretty please?

Anyway, the clips. Here they are!

Common Ground: BJ & Tyler and Lake & Michelle walk along one of those moving strips in the airport where we find out Michelle was born in Japan because her dad was stationed out there. Apparently, Tyler’s dad was born there as well. Lake & Michelle stop as they are talking, but the boys hurry them along. Duh, race, people! Tyler asks if Michelle has been back to Japan. She says something which sounds like “No, but I keep hoping to strip our tables there.” I listened to this twice, and then made my boyfriend listen to it. He heard the same thing I did. My mind went to a very dirty place. Then, it clicked. What she really says is “I keep hoping the trip takes us there.” Heh.

Card Sharks: Lake & Michelle and BJ & Tyler ride the train together too, and this is a clip wherein I actually enjoy Lake & Michelle. Usually, they just annoy me. They’re trying to teach the boys how to play Rummy. BJ admits to playing Crazy 8’s. Lake asks if they know Spades. Nope, Crazy 8’s. He then jokes “how about Battle?” which must be what I always called “War” and Michelle laughingly asks if they know Slapjack. I love how they totally picked up on the fact that the boys like what is essentially a kids’ game and poked fun at them, nicely. It was cute. The cutest I’ve seen these two. Don’t worry. It doesn’t last.

Just Kidding: While riding in a cab in Germany, Lake asks Michelle to read the clue again about the Mercedes factory. She reads it. He deduces he’ll get to drive. She wants to know why him and not her. If looks could kill, she’d at least be stunned. She mutters she’s just kidding, but he’s all like “I’m driving it!” Sweetie, he’s a boy. It’s a Mercedes factory. It involves going fast. Whatever makes you think you’d remotely come NEAR the driver’s seat? Seriously. Michelle mumbles about getting three hours of sleep and a shower, but Lake looks less than thrilled with the prospect. No, I have no idea why it’s a bad idea either. Just Lake, I guess.

Sarcasm Detector Off: Lake whips about the Autobahn, happy as a pig in mud, asking Michelle about their location on the map. Pissy for no reason, Michelle snarks that he’s going too fast, so she can’t tell, and he should STOP IT. Good lord, woman, it’s the frickin’ Autobahn. Teenage boys dream about this like they dream about naked women. In other words, ALL THE TIME. He tells her to stop being so negative, and it’s not even in a really nasty tone or anything, like I’d expect from him. He’s that excited about being on the Autobahn. He’s so excited, as a matter of fact, that his Pissy Detector fails him, despite the almost visible vibes emanating from his partner behind him. If vibes could kill, he’d be stunned for sure. He gets all “WOOO! It’s the Autobahn” on her and she does a fake “woo” but you can tell she is not excited one whit. Twit.

Losing Her Mind: One D, this time Danielle, totally has her accent on in this clip. My god. Other D (Dani) left the race bag behind AGAIN. This time it was caught quickly apparently, but as they wait outside, One D totally razzes Other D about it, taking the bag from her and explaining she has lost privileges of holding it. How the hell do you lose it once, not to mention twice? Sheesh! Danielle states that Dani typically is quite organized, so this confuses her. Okay, I finally have learned to tell the two apart, thanks to the testosterone source in my home. Danielle is the slightly rounder-faced one with the “bigger rack” whereas Dani is the “smaller racked” one. Don’t expect me to remember this, but hey, it worked for the duration of this recap. Heck, by using that, I eventually started finding facial differences that just might serve me in the long run. We’ll see. Meanwhile, I still totally like these two.

Germany v. Russia: Other D (Dani) drives and expounds upon the virtues of Germany over Russia. She is excited to be in Germany, she says, because it is prettier, and they like it better. The girls say that in Germany, despite not speaking the language, the people seem to want to help, whereas in Russia, they didn’t care to help. You do have to realize that just because some wall went down, getting rid of decades of anti-American conditioning might be a bit difficult, ya know? Dani wings off an “and they smell” to end the clip, and it’s obvious she doesn’t quite mean it (not like Lake would), but it’s her version of an insult. Sort of like “and your mother too!” [That was a great movie, by the way]

Promises, Promises: One D and Other D joke about what they’ll do to the native man they coerced into leading them to the pit stop. They’re driving behind him, and saying that they’ll kiss him. They decide he wasn’t so hot, but they’ll kiss him anyway. Danielle decides to flash him as a thank you, but, she quips, if he doesn’t get them there, then NYET! Nothing! Hah. Dani calls her a sick bitch, and I snort loudly in appreciation of friends who can call each other that.

Gname Your Gnome: Tyler names the gnome, Chomsky. I cannot remember if this was done last season, or just postulated that it SHOULD have been done. Regardless, now it has been done. Gnome Chomsky rests in Tyler’s arms as the boys discuss how they hope the frat boys are farther behind. BJ figures the Frats have gotten a clue already based on the number of clues left in the box when they got theirs. Tyler turns painful as he plays up for the camera, babbling nonsense about how smooth and glossy the clue is and how much he loves it. See, this is where they lose me. They get TOO “forced wacky” for the camera and it hurts.

Danke: Okay, Ray is NOT allowed to speak in foreign countries. The boy seriously has no knack for even the most basic of languages, such as please and thank you. Remember how “you’re welcome” in Portuguese twisted his tongue? Well, he’s mispronouncing “danke” something fierce and teasing Yolanda for using it. She explains it means “thank you” but he swears he read something in the bathroom that sounds like “revisio” when he says it, and that it means “thank you.” She correctly pronounces “danke” and patiently explains what it means. He disagrees. She insists. Dude, seriously, she’s right. Stop. It is amusing though.