True Life - I'm a Reality Star: Daniel Lue and Two Morons

The premise: reality shows have spawned instant celebrities who are gone just as quick. But what happens when they try to expand their celebrity life? We’ll follow three of these instant celebrities.

Tonya has been living of her Real World fame for four years. Woof. But the “demands” of being a full-time reality star are putting a strain on her happiness and well-being. Oh, give me a huge break. Pa-the-tic. Will she give up notoriety and fame, or will the spotlight and “easy money” be too much to walk away from? Will anyone care? See, if it’s EASY money, then this isn’t really a question, is it? God forbid she actually go back to EARNING her money.

Sorry, but the idea of someone bitching about their “easy money” celeb life isn’t exactly going to fly with me right now. Too many people work too hard just for the money she got for this special for me to come even close to shedding a tear for the talentless bitch. What is she doing? Acting? Far as I can tell, she’s hosting Spring Break parties and acting stupid. We’ll see if my thoughts about her change by the end.

And by the way, I think very very very very very very little of the MTV reality offerings The Real World, Road Rules, and their bastard offspring. I consider them idiotic and pandering, good only for guilty pleasure, “turn your brain off” TV watching. So don’t expect me to say anything nice about them, or anyone associated with them.

Daniel, who is a former tax accountant by the way, and who knows a thing or two about hard work this time of year, is trying to turn his Survivor stint into an acting career, despite “little interest in his talent.” Full disclosure - I like Daniel and have been friends with him since he appeared on Tough Enough five years ago. Anyway, we’ll see him on the set of Hulk Hogan’s new movie, but will he find fame or have to go back to the dreaded nine-to-five. And you didn’t see him bitch or cry once there, did you? At least he’s willing to do what it takes.

Jonny Fairplay is still in demand in the reality world (he is?) but his lifestyle – we see him drinking heavily – is taking a toll. Will Jonny take control of his life before he drinks and parties himself into an early grave? Seems like the MTV crew would have done better to offer to pay for his rehab and film THAT, but what do I know?

Well, since I’ve pre-judged them all in the first three minutes, we can just end this, right? No? Ah well.

Tonya, is packing for two week’s worth of club appearances. She does the RW/RR Challenges and she just did Kill Reality, so her life is “consumed” by reality TV. She didn’t realize the show was so well-known. It aired and her life just flipped. She shows a calendar full of cities where she’ll be appearing. It gets kind of old, but “it’s a job.” She goes to clubs, signs autographs, takes pictures, and gets paid from $500 to $2000. Honey, that’s not a job.

For someone famous for being on The Real World, she has a very little concept of it. Or of reality, for that matter.

Her boyfriend Adam walks in. Is he the same Adam from the MTV shows? I don’t know, nor do I care. She says since she “lives on TV” people have pretended to be her friend, so she’s very protective of her heart. I’d mock anyone who would try that hard to be friends with someone from The Real World. But she ran into this guy who had never heard of The Real World, and they fell in love.

Excuse me while I try to figure out how someone in their early twenties has never heard of The Real World. Nope, can’t do it. Unless we visit the rock Adam lives under, I ain’t buying it.

Adam never comes with her to club appearances, since a lot of her fans are male. She doesn’t want the bar owners to know she’s in a relationship because it would be bad for business. Yes, I see that the entire reading audience has their hands up, so I’ll answer your question – yes, I do think she’s too stupid to realize that 95% of her fanbase now KNOWS that she’s got a boyfriend, thanks to this.

Adam says she’s gone about four days a week, but it’s something he has to accept. Yeah, like he’s crying into his pillow every night. She’s what guys that age call “the perfect girlfriend.” Gone half the time and feels bad about it, has lots of money… then again, he sounds like the perfect boyfriend – clueless. He tells anyone who wants to marry a reality star to accept that they’ll be in clubs half the time and you won’t be with her.

She feels bad that Adam is in this life he didn’t ask for, but on the other hand, if she’s not doing clubs, she’s not paying rent. You could try, you know, GETTING A JOB. She says the worst thing is being judged by your friends for every little thing. You need new friends. She’s arguing on the phone with someone about some show, telling them to {bleep}ing lay off. She says reality TV stars are real people, and they’re afraid of being judged. You pays your money, you takes your chances, chick. She cusses out her friend on the phone, saying she likes what she’s doing and where she’s at.