An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Exile Island, Episode 7: Jackassery

What the hell was THAT episode? I continue to despise these people, with certain exceptions, and the ones that I like are showing zero strategic sense, like Terry. The only person who I like and who is actually playing a smart game is the person I predicted in my first article to win – Cirie. The rest are doing what my fiance’s father likes to call “dedicating their lives to dumb thinkin’” or practicing what a friend calls “jackassery.” The photo at the top is a hint, kids.

And while I’m at it, nice false advertising, CBS. I’m getting really tired of networks showing footage that doesn’t actually appear in the episode, in this case showing someone being stretchered off the island. And by the way, those previews are the network’s doing, so don’t blame the producers for that.

Nick’s Final Words: He’s surprised, he thought the vote was going to Austin. Austin told him that he, Austin, was the target, but maybe he was trying to cushion him a little. He’d rather walk into the vote blind. He definitely showed some strength and was a threat to win challenges, so in retrospect, not so much of a surprise. Well, unlike most Survivors, he is right about why it was him.

He sends love to all his family and friends, and wants to send a quick message. All the people his age who are wondering who they are and what they want – be hungry and be foolish. Find out who they are and who they want to be. Maximize your personal freedom, block out the noise, and reach your full potential. He’s saying this like he’s reciting it, and it makes little sense to me. It’s like non-advice, ironically, like so much noise. He’s trying be true to himself and follow his dreams.

He says La Mina will be fine. Casaya is terrified of Terry and he loves it. He can go on an immunity streak that’s unheard of in the game. Correct me if I’m wrong, but do the names Colby or Lex ring a bell? Or Kelly? Austin has the same chance. Sally will be fine, they’ll stick around until after they’re gone. She’s earned it. How, exactly? By being sent to Exile Island when she should have been voted off? By losing the spear? Please, enlighten me, I’m all ears.

He already misses his tribemates, they welcomed him in. Terry is the mentally toughest guy he’s ever been around. Great challenge, it was an honor. He wishes he could have learned more from Sally. He loves his boy Austin, he made the experience what it was for him. He knows he’ll hear from him again. He’ll never forget any of it.

Nick, the Day After: It was harder than he thought. Every second was a struggle. You hate it, but you love it. Some people seemed to enjoy it more than he did. It’s just not him. The fun for him was the people and the challenges. The monotony around camp was the main struggle. He was so miserable, he didn’t have the energy to keep his guard up and it became clear why he was there. Almost like he was doped up. He hopes to keep that clarity. I have NO IDEA what he’s talking about.

All Terry knows how to do is compete. He doesn’t care about the game, he doesn’t know the first thing about strategy. He thought that it was chickenshit for people to drop off the post because they knew they didn’t need immunity. He didn’t care, he was going to compete. He’s not going to win, he’s out the minute he loses an immunity challenge. Well, at least he doesn’t know that he has the idol. And it explains why Terry can’t strategize his way out of a wet paper bag.

When you eat rice with Casaya, you don’t touch it. “Mama Cirie” dishes it out. You don’t backtalk about how much you get, either. They call her Mama, and that’s her role. That explains why she didn’t flip – she’s got a good thing going and she’s respected. They have a system and it works. He was a little surprised how much of a leader Aras has become. With Bobby gone, Aras or Shane can’t do it by themselves, but together they can handle it.

You can see how important alliances and the personal part of the game are. You can’t understand the mental energy required. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning, you get your ass kicked. For eighteen days, you’re consumed by the mental energy to get through it.

Hands down, the hardest thing he’s ever done. The first twelve days were the most miserable, physically, of his life. You have to go through hell sometimes to experience the benefits. Hardest, yes, most rewarding experiences of his life.

Lame Duck: Lame clip. There’s a bird on the beach, and it looks sickly. Courtney talks, and I mute. Bruce says it’s a certain type of bird, but I can’t figure out what he said. Sounded like “cohmerant.” Danielle feels awful. Courtney talks again, and before I can hit the mute button, she whines about the two turtles that have died since she’s been there. And the insider didn’t show the second? I’m SHOCKED.

Yes, I hate Courtney more than I hate Shane. She has yet to say something that I haven’t wanted to smack her. Danielle isn’t much better, because she acts like a petulant child, especially her smug grins at Tribal Council that make me wish she’d stayed on her farm with the other horses. Aras is just Aras, too self-important and righteous. And I still blame Austin for the horrible tactical moves that put La Mina in the minority to begin with, not to mention getting rid of Dan.

Survivor Shuffle: Mama Cirie! She says for the sleeping arrangement, they have what they call a shuffle. Each night, you move over one space so the same person doesn’t get the end, where it’s cold and wet. Courtney sleeps on the beach a lot, and when she comes in, everyone else is asleep. It would be rude to wake everyone else up. Cirie always goes to bed early because she doesn’t want the ends!

Courtney got the end because she was out on the beach singing to the rocks. That’s what Cirie said Courtney told her. Courtney was upset that she got the elbow and the cold shoulder from Shane.

When they started, those two were “a little closer” than they are now. No kidding. But Shane can’t stand Courtney anymore, and Cirie stops to laugh. I love it when Cirie laughs at her tribemates’ problems, it’s almost like she’s saying “can you believe this crap?”

When Courtney got up this morning, she was crying about last night being the worst night of her life, etc etc. She was cold, had to curl up into a ball, and Shane elbowed her. She has to stop because she starts laughing again.

She tried to help by offering her towel and giving her a backrub, she felt a little bit bad for her, but no one else said anything. More laughing. I love it. Aras did say that Bobby slept on the end every night and never complained about it. Courtney said “hats off to Bob” and said she didn’t know he was getting wet. What part of “he didn’t complain” was unclear, Courtney? Cirie confirms that he was getting wet a lot. I almost can’t wait for La Mina to be gone and these people have to cannibalize each other.

Courtney has traveled a lot and been outdoors a lot, so sleeping on the beach isn’t a big thing for her. But being out on the rocks all night means she gets left out of the sleeping arrangements. Since Bob Dawg left, the shuffle hasn’t been as official because there’s a big space now. So you get in wherever you fit in, but she just didn’t fit in. Martha Stewart on line one!

More Cirie clips! Hell, I want The Cirie Show after this is done. Boot that idiot Jenna off Survivor Live and get someone interesting! Oh, and I want to point out that Cirie looks AWESOME. I can’t believe how much weight she’s lost in two weeks of game time.