Unan1mous, Episode 4: Reindeer Games

Before we begin, make sure you check out our well-deserved induction of Kelly into the Reality TV Hall of Shame.

Speaking of shame, I continue to be amazed at the amount and the intensity of negative articles written on this show. It’s to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised to see a study comparing viewing the show to incidents of puppy kicking. As I’ve stated before, no one is going to watch a show with nine happy, unstressed people in a bunker. And NO ENTERTAINMENT WRITER should ever complain about unlikeable people when shows like Big Brother 6, The Surreal Life, and The Simple Life are still on the air. Unan1mous is a study in human nature, as opposed to Idiots on Parade like those others.

When we last left our lab rats, Kelly had deserted the sinking ship and Richard was reinstated. Most of the others seemed to blame him for the submarining of Steve’s vote, even though the culprit was Jonathan. Jamie continued to make herself sick from all the stress. The latest vote went further away from unanimous. As a consequence of failing to come to a unanimous vote, the rats have to vote on who to outcast. Richard volunteered, but the consensus seemed to be that this was a strategy. Geek Overlord was about to announce the vote when the episode ended. Talk about bad timing!

The majority chooses Adam. Nothing these people do makes any sense anymore. Tarah tells us that it was a plot by Jameson, Vanessa, and herself to eliminate a strong player. Steve voted for Adam because of his “reading” skills he gets from playing poker.

Adam picks up his special jumpsuit and tells us that, just like with poker, he’ll keep playing until he can find a way to win. He wanted a challenge, he’s got one.

Before they can leave the inner circle, Geek Overlord tells them that he knows that another rat wants to leave. Doing so, of course, will split the remaining prize money in half. He stops the clock at $720,034, and asks Jamie if she is able to continue. She says she wanted to stay, but… and cries something incomprehensible. Jameson is crying as well.

Vanessa tells us that she knows exactly what Jamie is going through, and what she needs to get better. What she doesn’t need is to lie in the lights all day with the noise of the other contestants.

With that, Jamie leaves. However, Geek Overlord says that since she is leaving for medical reasons, the money will not be cut in half. I foresee a lot of “accidental” medical mishaps in the next day or so. The others are happy as the clock is restarted. Jamie looks like she feels a lot better as she’s walking out. Just that stress being off her shoulders would help, I bet.

Steve thinks that Jamie is the last hope for selflessness, since she was intent on rewarding the money to someone who she felt deserved it. Adam says that at least he’s still there, walking around on the same playground as the others, even though he’s wearing a different uniform.

It’s mealtime, and Steve is wondering why Adam is acting strange. He won’t talk to them, he won’t even sit at the same table. “He’s outcasted himself somehow.” Um, maybe Steve wasn’t briefed about that cute little jumpsuit with the red X on the shoulder? Richard, of all people, is afraid to reach out. Adam says that it’s his strategy to not let anyone know what he’s thinking. Jonathan says to just let it be.

Vanessa asks Adam to join the group. He says he’s got nothing to say because he’s out of it. They argue that he isn’t since he still has a vote. And that matters to him… why? Adam says that when someone is an outcast from a village, the villagers usually want nothing to do with them. He offers another analogy – they didn’t want him playing their reindeer games, and now they want him to guide their sleigh. That’s so very awesome.

Vanessa says that she thinks he would want to stay and listen so he could make a good decision, and he apologizes for disappointing her. Heh, this is getting more awesome by the second. Vanessa, looking more like the smug kid who wants to tell teacher that someone else isn’t playing nice, says she thinks his reaction is extreme. It’s not extreme, Adam says, it’s just not what she wants.

She asks how he can make an educated vote. Simple, by NOT listening to all the bull that everyone else is saying, because they’re all lying non stop. He tells us that he can’t let Vanessa burn him again. He wants to take her down.

Later, Adam tells Steve that he knows who cost him the money. Steve guesses Kelly or Vanessa, but Adam only confirms that it wasn’t Kelly. Of course, it was Jonathan who changed the vote. Steve repeats that he thinks it’s Vanessa, and again Adam won’t confirm it, but says he can’t say any more. Steve looks to take this as confirmation which, judging by Adam’s grin, was exactly his intent. Adam is an evil bastard. Remind me never to piss him off.