Unan1mous, Episode 6: Don't Pimp My Ride

Last week… umm, normally I write this before the show starts, but I realized I simply can’t remember. Either it’s been a long week for me (which it has) or this show is going downhill. The latter may be somewhat true, as it’s becoming quickly apparent that the winner is going to be the last one not outcast – which kind of throws that “can they decide before the money runs out” idea out the window.

Last week, Steve was voted as the next outcast, and was able to select another outcast – Vanessa, who he thought cast the fatal vote which cost him $1.5 million. Major strategy sessions ensued. Another vote was unsuccessful, and the three outcasts chose the newest outcast by default, each person “protecting” one player. Adam and Steve protected Jonathan and Richard, leaving Vanessa to choose between her two alliance mates, Jameson and Tarah.

Vanessa chooses to protect Jameson, thereby making Tarah the newest outcast. Richard, Jonathan, and Jameson are still in the game. Tarah picks up her snazzy new uniform as they are asked to leave the inner circle. Jameson thanks Vanessa as Tarah says it’s never over until it’s over.

The group gets together in the hopes of coming to a unanimous vote. Adam says that he’s going to play all the angles to get back into the game. Steve calls it selfish and is upset that he’d draw it out so nobody gets nothin’. Adam says he just wants more time. Vanessa, the soccer mom, thinks Steve and Adam need some quiet time.

At that point, Steve gets up and walks away, which makes Vanessa throw something at him. And she thinks they’re immature? Steve says he was just going to the bathroom and she wouldn’t shut up long enough for him to say so, so he just left.

Adam yells, asking if they’re ready to choose a winner right now. Vanessa takes offense and everyone tells Adam to calm down. Adam tells us that he’s never quit, and he doesn’t want to give up his chance at the money yet. As long as he’s here, he’s got a chance.

Later, the group decides to let each of the remaining contestants plead his case to the group. Jameson says that the other two have said that they don’t need the money, but he NEEDS the money. Jonathan (in confessional) calls it BS.

Jonathan reminds them that he doesn’t want the money for selfish reasons, he wants to buy his family’s home, and possibly a condo for himself.

Richard says he’s never had any money, working crappy jobs (and making it sound like it’s because he’s a screwup, actually), and never having rent money. Every time he works for someone, something always comes up. He’s tired of something coming up. He’s trying for the pity vote, I guess. Tarah says Richard’s performance was two thumbs up. I thought it was pathetic, actually.

Jonathan tells Jameson that he left a job where he was making $200,000 and driving a Mercedes. No other explanation, and it seems like a dumb thing for Jonathan to do, but you can never tell. Jameson says he wants to get that info out. Dude, you are going to look SO bad if it’s “because he has cancer.”

So, at breakfast, Jameson makes sure to bring up the car subject, and Jonathan bites. He defends himself by saying that it’s used, and he paid $20,000 for it. He got it because people in California judge you by what you drive. Steve grills him for details on his lease, etc, and Jonathan snaps that he doesn’t know, he doesn’t even have plates on the car yet. He’s getting upset because people are getting on his case. He threatens to throw something and Steve takes his head off. Steve said he’ll never give Jonathan the money due to his car (which is pretty stupid, unless you know a whole lot more than they’ve shown), and somewhere, Jameson is cackling like a comic book villain as the counter dips below $500,000.

The rats are called to the inner circle once again to face Geek Overlord, who names Tarah the new group leader, which as far as I can tell, means nothing. The group has to take an anonymous survey, taking a page out of Suvivor, asking various questions about what they think of the others.

The results come in and Tarah reads the results and is supposed to “lead a discussion” about the survey. I assume these are majority answers. One other note. It looks like the responses can be any of the players, not just the three remaining eligible, but I can’t be sure of that.

The person who you would never give the money to – Jonathan. The person who would be least responsible with the money – Richard. Biggest liar – Jameson. Person who deserves the money most – Jameson. Steve explains that being the biggest liar might mean he played the game the best. Richard says he doesn’t think he’s the least responsible. He thinks he’s had the least opportunity to play the game. He can’t believe they would give it to the most dishonest person in the room.

Later, Steve says that they need to examine the criteria they’re using for who deserves the money. Vanessa tells us that Jameson meets all those criteria – plays the game well, responsible, and is a nice guy. Adam is upset, wondering if winning the game means being a team player.

Tarah says she’s there to win the game for Jameson. She goes to him and tells him that the only two who don’t want him to win are Jonathan and Richard. She thinks he needs to go to the other two guys and convince them.

Jameson does indeed go to Jonathan and compliments him on how he is playing the game. He then points out that Richard is sleeping – not playing the game. The idea is to get Richard out as the next outcast and fight it amongst themselves. They swear on their mothers.

Jameson then goes immediately to Richard and basically bullies him into voting the same way, threatening something about Tarah, I don’t know nor do I care. Jameson thinks he’s got the two votes he needs.

Geek Overlord stops the clock at $470,234 – it’s time to vote. They take the bocce balls of doom, cast their votes, and send them down the powerball tubes of fate to Geek Overlord. I can’t imagine the show is ending tonight – I bet they bring another person out of exile rather than outcast someone else.

Jameson just wants to get the heck out of there. Steve hopes the vote shows they can do the right thing. The first vote is for…

NEXT WEEK: Will Jameson get the money?

Mike DeGeorge is an Accountant from St. Louis and is also Associate Editor for RealityNewsOnline. You can reach Mike at rno.mike@gmail.com.

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