Survival of the Richest, Episode 5: You’re in the Army Now

Welcome to the penultimate episode of Survival of the Richest. The show starts off with a recap of events so far. You can read my recap from last week.

As a reminder the poor kids are Esmerelda (eliminated), Tracy (eliminated), Jim, Jacob, Michael (eliminated), Johanna, and Marcus (eliminated). The rich kids are Kat (eliminated), Elizabeth (eliminated), T.R., Liz (eliminated), Nick (eliminated), Sammy, and Hunter.

This episode starts with Jim telling us how much it sucks to lose both his girlfriend and one of his best friends at the same time. But, he looks at it from a practical point of view, he’d have to vote her off sometime if he is going to win the money.

But, he thinks that Johanna is somehow behind the fact that Liz and Marcus were eliminated last week. Well, it turns out that she wasn’t, it was really T.R. working though Hunter that got rid of them. But, Johanna wastes no time before telling us that it is no big deal that they are gone because she didn’t want to share her money with anyone, despite the fact that the other poor kids are willing to share their money with her. Nice gal. At least she realizes that, by refusing to deal with the other poor kids, she has doomed herself to eviction if she and Hunter can’t win this next challenge.

The next morning, the producers have arranged for a personal chef to cook the players an elaborate breakfast. Unfortunately, when the chef arrives, the kitchen looks like a disaster area, complete with a sink full of dirty dishes and several inches of crud cooked onto the stove and grill. The chef throws up her hands and declares that she cannot cook in these conditions. She storms up to the bedrooms and rousts the kids out of bed to clean up the kitchen so that she can cook.

The kids slowly get out of bed and down to the kitchen. The chef says that she will not cook and they will not eat until the kitchen is spotless. Not what they think is spotless, but what she thinks is spotless.

The kids don’t seem to take well to someone barking orders at them. Of course, dear readers, if you remember the previews from last week, you know that things are only going to get worse for these kids.

Anyway, they get to work cleaning the kitchen. As always, the rich kids can’t seem to figure out which end of a mop to use, while the poor kids just shrug their shoulders and get down to work. Hunter tells us that he has never developed the skill of cleaning, but that he has developed the great skill of how to order a fine meal, which is just as good.

Jacob provides the morning’s entertainment when he and Hunter are setting the table. Hunter asks if Jacob knows where the knife goes in a table setting and Jacob answers that he never uses a knife when he eats. Hunter says that Jacob fills all the stereotypes of a southern bumpkin. Jacob finishes off the stereotype by announcing that he doesn’t like all this fancy food and would rather have a good old peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast.

But, the kitchen is cleaned and the players all have a good breakfast of what looks like Eggs Benedict. Sammy says that this is what breakfast should always be. Jacob isn’t very impressed.

The kids spend the rest of the day sitting around the pool and hanging out around the house. The poor kids discuss how much change they’ve seen in the rich kids since they’ve been here. Johanna laments that the next time these kids walk into a McDonalds, they’ll have a little empathy for the folks working behind the counter. Right, Johanna, like rich people ever walk into a McDonalds.

Then we get to see more footage of everyone just sitting around with absolutely nothing to do. I guess the producers gave the kids a lot of spare time in hopes that they would build relationships with each other. Well, unfortunately, relationships were built up, but then they were torn down last episode. So, we get to see a whole lot of nothing.

But, in a rather open moment, Hunter and Sammy have a nice little chat. Sammy asks Hunter what he’d do with the money and he says that he’d start up his own business. He adds that his family may be rich, but that he is not, since his parents dole out the money in a rather miserly fashion. His goal is to be financially independent.

Okay, now let’s stop here for a moment. A little bit of research on the web finds that Hunter Maats is actually a fairly hard working guy. He started up a tutoring company called Overqualified Tutoring. He can be seen under the bios for the Los Angeles office. Several eagle-eyed viewers claim that they have seen him in recent TV commercials for health clubs and phone companies. Also, there is a rather amusing photo of him in his cheerleading uniform from Harvard. So, let’s just say that Hunter isn’t completely a spoiled brat and does seem to have to work for the money he spends. That would explain how his team usually seems to do best in each challenge.

The next morning dawns and Hunter and Johanna are anticipating their reward for winning the fishing contest. When they are told they have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get it, Johanna has severe second thoughts. Hunter just hopes that it will be a “flip-flop casual” affair.

To maybe wake himself up for the day, Hunter sits naked on the floor of the shower and sings loudly to the rest of the guests. Johanna says that Hunter may not be the biggest *bleep* she’s ever met, but that he is a *bleep*.