Unan1mous, Episode 7: Animals Fighting for a Scrap of Meat

Quick question totally unrelated to the topic of Unan1mous. What possesses film students to make “masterpieces” that are such boring, nonsensical wank-fests that 98% of the audience is sitting there with the “Did someone just fart?” look on their faces? Seriously, I’d like to know the motivation, because it eludes me. If it’s to show how much more intelligent they are than everyone else, guess what, it don’t work.

Back to the topic at hand - Unan1mous, in what the previews are teasing to be the finale. I like the show, but to be honest, if I weren’t doing the recaps, I probably would have stopped watching by now and just read the recaps… like I bet a lot of you are doing, right? Seriously, it’s a great concept but I don’t think it can be sustained over this many episodes. Plus, I feel like it’s not the same show I started watching. The whole “outcast” thing was cool, but now it’s turned into a cheat because it’s going to come down to a choice between maybe two people – perhaps not even that many. I know they told us that the rats would be forced into a unanimous decision, but that’s not what anybody thought they meant, is there? Personally, I expected something like we saw in episode 2, where they planned to vote the money to Steve just so they could get out of there, to happen late in the series. What is interesting is that the longer they go, the further away they get from actually deciding on one person.

Nonetheless. I like the show regardless, and I expect to see another season (which I fear will be a disappointment if it’s not in the post-Idol slot), but I think it’s time to shoot this horse already.

Oooh., I don’t remember the viewer’s advisory before. Interesting! When we last saw our lab rats, Richard, Jonathan, and Jameson were the only ones left NOT outcast. Richard made a fool of himself trying to win votes, Jonathan threatened Steve after a blowup about the kind of car Jonathan drive, and Jameson won a survey to determine who deserves the money. Jameson made pacts with Jonathan and Richard, promising each his vote in exchange for theirs. They vote…

The bocce balls of doom are cast down the powerball tubes of fate (I’m sure a lot of people hope that’s the last time I say THAT) with the clock stopped at $470,234. Six votes wins. Jameson, Jameson, Jameson, Jonathan (which may be Jameson’s vote), Richard. Oopsie. Jameson is shocked. Betcha Jonathan screwed it up again, and before I can even finish typing that, the look on Jonathan’s face confirms it. He voted for Richard. He says it’s wrong, but you have to play the game. I agree, why give up? The last two votes are both for Jonathan. Whoa. Geek Overlord restarts the clock.

Geek Overlord rants at them for their sixth straight failure. He says that perhaps the only way they can end the game… is to bring someone back. The rats look suitably shocked. The outcasts have the opportunity to bring one of their own back into the game. Okay, now they’re stretching. I figured Jamie was coming back in. Adam, in confessional without his outcast jumpsuit (although people have given confessionals in normal clothes while outcast), says he loves every aspect of the game. He loves it even more when they get a curveball.

The eligible participants go to the isolation room while the four outcasts debate amongst themselves in the inner circle for fifteen minutes. Adam speaks up that he told them he was voting for Jonathan. Steve (the good old boy sweetheart who is getting more and more hostile as the game goes on) says that no, he didn’t know. They flash back, and Adam only agreed that Jameson was a good game player.

Adam further says that he was hoping for just such an opportunity. Steve ramps up the drama, saying that Adam took money from an innocent man for a twist in the game, and adds that they have the power… to NOT make Adam’s wish come true. MAN, he’s getting pissy. Tarah suggests that they not vote anyone back in, and play the game that way. Is there a “none of the above” in the votes? They wouldn’t let Richard vote to outcast himself way back when. Adam tells them that they will be there until the money is gone. Steve says his schedule is clear. Meow.

In the isolation room, Jameson rants to Jonathan and Richard that they messed up (in more colorful language) his chance to be rich. Richard does a RAGING confessional (staying calm the whole time, which is scary) where he pledges that he would stay in the bunker until hell freezes over before he’d give Jameson a penny. I wish I could post a screen cap of Richard during the rant, it’s quite awesome.

Richard decides that he’s going to lie, cheat, and steal (viva la raza!) in order to win. Jonathan tells him he’s better than that (probably afraid that it would give Richard an advantage), but Richard won’t hear of it. They’ve been rewarding people for lying the whole time, so why not him?

Geek Overlord comes back on the screen and asks for a decision, and they go to a commercial. And what a commercial! I want to run out RIGHT NOW and get a Texas Double Whopper just because of that awesome ad. A roving gang of guys running the streets declaring that they’re MEN, damn it, and tired of eating chick food? How can any man resist? Sorry, but I can be a dumb typical male sometimes, and such times include when I’m faced with a plate with more decorations than actual food. I had a meeting at a place like that once while at my last job, and all I could say about what was supposed to be one of the best restaurants in town was “I’m glad I’m not paying for this.”

Sorry. The outcasts tell Geek Overlord that they want no one to return to the game. He tells them that is not an option. Toldja. He says they have one last chance, and if they can’t make a decision, one will be made for them. They vote around the table and all four of them vote for a different person, just to be difficult. Geek Overlord impatiently snaps that the decision will be made by the group leader, Tarah. She has the opportunity to choose herself. She has five minutes.

She says that she can’t believe it. She asks Steve if he wants to go back, but he says he won’t have any influence. Adam jumps in and says that he wants it. Steve doesn’t want Adam to interfere in his holy righteous cause. He says that he doesn’t want to let the manipulator back in. Adam asks if he honestly believes that, which he obviously does. Steve is trying all he can to bring anyone back in BUT Adam. Adam is offended, claiming he never gave him any reason to think he manipulated anyone. He goes on a long rant which boils down to the fact that the other three gave up while he was trying to find a way back into the game. He pleads with Tarah, saying that he told her before that he promised to have her back if she had a second chance, and furthermore that he has never crossed her. The pained expression on Tarah’s face shows that he did in fact tell her that. He better be careful or he’ll offend the one person that can save him, as he keeps on only to be interrupted by Geek Overlord, asking Tarah for a decision.