Unan1mous, The Finale: $382,193 or Nothing

When we last left our lab rats, nine people entered a bunker… wait. They’re summarizing the whole series. You want that, feel free to find the past recaps. Last episode, the rats argued. Steve devolved to a grade schooler and decided to insult Adam, Jonathan, and Richard like a twelve-year old. Tarah voted herself back into the game. This is the season finale. Will they come to a unanimous decision, or will the show cheat it’s way to a winner? The clock starts this episode at $394,142. Unless this episode spans a couple of days, someone is getting some money.

The participants are rudely… actually, they are quite politely woke up by the disembodied voice. Vanessa just wants to get through the day. Jonathan sees the number zero in his future. Tarah is excited to be back in the game. She hopes Jameson doesn’t take offense that she’s back in the game. He says he’s not in it anymore, he just wants to see her win.

They are called to the inner circle, where Geek Overlord stops the clock at $382,193. Geek Overlord berates them for not being able to reach a unanimous decision, which is really weird, because anyone who hears the concept immediately thinks that it’s impossible.

Geek Overlord says that this is their last vote, because if they can’t make a unanimous decision, the money will be at zero by the same time tomorrow. Hah? By my calculations, they still have about four days. Am I missing something or has my job eroded my brain?

Since this is their last vote, Geek Overlord will keep the clock frozen and give them time to think about their last vote. No matter what happens, they’re going home tonight. Steve says that some people don’t understand that their job is to vote a unanimous decision, period. And Steve doesn’t seem to understand that, if it’s not them being voted for, some people won’t let that happen.

Steve and Adam argue about the purpose of the game. Adam says it’s to win (yep) and Steve argues with him. Steve doesn’t want them to go through all this and nobody get anything. Technically, they all get per diems, so no one really goes home with nothing.

Steve tells his little cadre of Jameson, Vanessa, and Tarah that America will judge them for what they did with the job they’ve been given. Steve thinks too much about what people think of him. He doesn’t want to give the money to Jonathan, who has filed bankruptcy (huh? Have they leapt to THAT incorrect conclusion too, assuming Kelly’s secret was his?) and drives a Mercedes, or Richard, who doesn’t have a responsible bone in his body. Ah, I see. Steve judges everyone without proof, so he’s worried that others will do the same to him. It’s called transference, ascribing your bad qualities to others.

Steve continues that Jameson has a partner, and two means of income. Tarah, however, has just herself. I can’t imagine Tarah, who might as well have been wallpaper throughout this whole show, getting the money with no buildup. Steve wants to try that angle, since no one in the room has a problem with Tarah. Tarah thinks they all don’t want to fight anymore and just want something good to come out of it. Tarah, have you MET Jonathan, Richard, and Adam? Just wondering.

Polite disembodied voice announces two hours until the vote. Jonathan says that if they don’t complete the task (the vote), the money will go to zero. Yeah, thanks. Usually they save that sort of thing for after the break. Steve doesn’t want some selfish people to let the money go to zero because of their own vendetta. So, basically, if they don’t agree with you, they’re selfish? That’s astounding. Geez, has any reality show star turned from nice guy into prick faster than Steve? What I find funny is that no one is calling Tarah selfish for putting herself back into the game. It WAS a selfish move, even if it was the right thing to do.

Vanessa tells us that people seem to have come to peace with their issues, and just want to give someone the money. Cut to Richard saying that he’s done campaigning, he will be the unselfish one now. Jonathan tries to convince Adam that the only person who hasn’t made enemies is Tarah. Adam doesn’t seem to agree, saying that she dogged him out twice. Once was when she voted herself back instead of him, which one might call selfish on Adam’s part, but remember a few minutes before, she claimed to not want to be back in the game. Not sure what the other one was.

Jameson asks him if he doesn’t respect her game play. He just answers that she dogged him out. Jameson wants to know if he would have done the same thing, and he lies and says no. Jonathan and Richard don’t seem to believe him either.

Thirty minutes left, and everyone knows that Adam is the hold out, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He says it could be his chance to “really sting her when it counts.” Hmm, be the bigger man, or get revenge. Tough choice. Steve hopes nobody screws it up.

Ten minutes. Everyone is at different corners of the house, so much so that I have to wonder if they were placed there specifically. Tarah says it’s tense. Really? Vanessa wonders if Adam will be “the stinker.” You can tell she’s got kids.