Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, Episode 1 - Pick Your Poison

Welcome to Sydney Airport in beautiful Australia, where a load of familiar MTV faces are arriving for the new Real World/Road Rules Challenge. But wait, what’s this? There are some kids here we’ve never seen before. People who haven’t spent the last ten years partying, drinking and "hooking up" all to sell Red Bull and cell phones on MTV. Yes, fans, this year the RWRRC universe is expanding – the cast will feature 12 old faces and 12 brand new ones for our viewing pleasure.

The "Fresh Meat" have been tested on their physical prowess and puzzle-solving ability. Their stat sheets are posted onstage in a random auditorium where TJ Lavin (our gracious host and product placement facilitator) lets the cast in on the twist – each Alumni cast member will choose a Fresh Meat cast member of the opposite sex to be their teammate for the entire length of the competition. TJ will take Alumni names from a lottery machine to determine what order they get to pick their teammates/scapegoats. And the order (and picks) goes as follows:

Danny chooses Evelyn (Ev), 18 years old from Harrison, New York because her stats are so strong. She interviews that she expected to be chosen first; she knows she’s the "best girl here."

Coral chooses Evan, 20, from Ontario, Canada. Evan tells us that he would "eat dog" to win the money, and he thinks he and Coral are a match made in Heaven. (He might be right!)

Darrell is next and he takes Aviv, 21, from Columbus, Ohio. Aviv says she’s genuine and hardworking, and she knows Darrell has never lost a challenge.

Next up is Tonya, and while all the boys tremble in fear, she chooses Johnnie, 24, from Savannah, Georgia. He tells us that the final episode will be his team against Coral and Evan. (I immediately call my doctor for a renewal on my valium prescription.)

Theo takes Chanda, 24, Long Island, New York, and after due consideration, Tina takes Kenny, 22, from Cedar Grove, New Jersey, asking him "Do you think you can handle me?" (Fair question!)

Next up is Wes, who chooses Casey, 18, from The Woodlands, Texas, asking her, "What happened with the wall?" We’re treated to the sight of her running into a six foot high wall repeatedly. (Perhaps no one explained that she was supposed to go over the wall, rather than through it.)

Johanna chooses Jesse, 19 from Albuquerque, New Mexico and Derrick picks Diem, 25, from Roswell, Georgia. Katie takes Eric, 23, from Nicholasville, Kentucky, Melinda chooses Ryan, 24, from Paramus, New Jersey and Shane opts for Linette, 21, from Palmetto, Florida. Ryan tells us that he hopes Melinda is as good a competitor as she is nice to look at. (I feel my first wave of nausea of the season.)

TJ voices over that the couples will take part in 15 contests, which will test them "physically, mentally and emotionally." To stay in the game, the teams must avoid Exile, where two teams will fight it out each week to see who stays and who goes home. Four teams will go to the final challenge to compete for the biggest cash prize in RWRRC history - $250,000.

The cast takes over the house and goes nuts over the layout and design. It’s enormous, with lots of open space, high ceilings and some very cool art pieces. The obligatory jumping in the pool fully/half/unclothed ritual commences. It seems that food and drink break out immediately, and some girl on girl grinding takes place. As random debauchery breaks out, Wes hatches a plan to take over one of the bedrooms, kicking out whoever is already in there. It seems that Danny and Wes are dating Melinda and Johanna respectively, and the Austinites want a room to themselves. Everyone agrees, but the grumbling has already begun. Jesse interviews that he’s unhappy to he paired with a member of the Austin cast, since they’re going to be targeted right away by other cast members who resent the whole "dating thing." Melinda interviews that she feels like she’s on vacation with Danny, but "the drama hasn’t hit the fan yet."

The dulcet T-Mobile tones sound, and the kids receive a text message to be ready to go at 7:00am the next morning.

Ev interviews that her cast mates aren’t particularly intelligent, and she knows she’ll be "calling the shots." (Are those Mr. Bloomberg’s irony fairies circling so early? I dearly hope so – this girl has been around for 9 minutes and I already despise her!)

We see various Alumni sharing information with their Fresh Meat team mates. Wes tells Casey to be careful, she should stay away from "anyone [she] saw in middle school." (Wow, how old is Coral?)

The next morning, the cast is packed into a bus and taken to the "world famous" Q1 building, which is over 80 stories, 1100 feet tall, where TJ is waiting to explain the challenge, called "Stuck on You." There is a 25 long foot balance beam extending from the side of the building – each team will have to make their way to the end of the beam and back, while fastened together back-to-back. When they get to the far end of the beam, the team must do a complete 360° turn before they head back. The fastest team wins, meaning they’re safe from Exile and they get to choose one of the Exiled teams.

Ensuring that MTV gets their money’s worth from the $5.95 lottery machine they invested in, TJ chooses a name to see who will determine the order of the teams in the stunt. He pulls Coral and Evan, giving them the decided advantage of going last. After brief consideration, they send Tonya and Johnnie out first. Johnnie verbally encourages Tonya the entire way and they manage to complete the task, but it sure looks like it took awhile. Melinda and Ryan are next, and they look like they’re moving much faster than the first team. Johanna and Jesse also seem to acquit themselves well. Wes and Casey go, with Wes practically dragging Casey there and back. Derrick and Diem also do well, as do Danny and Ev. I’ll save you the suspense – everyone makes it safely (rats!), and the editing gives us no clue as to the teams’ relative speeds.

TJ gives the results to teams from longest to shortest. Tonya and Johnnie took the longest time – 3:41. And the winners, to nobody’s surprise, Coral and Evan. Now it falls to them to decide the first team into Exile. Sure enough, Coral wants to send at least one of the Austin cast members to Exile first. Wes and Casey are chosen to go, unless they win tomorrow’s challenge, in which case they’ll choose another team to go in their place. The rest of the teams will vote this evening to determine the second team to go into Exile, but Coral, Evan, Wes and Casey will not be part of the vote. (Is it me, or does it sound like the Florida Board of Elections designed this system?)

Wes interviews that he doesn’t want to go home (shocker!). Evaluating the teams, he thinks Shane and Linette are the weakest, so he asks his friends to vote that way. Realizing that he still doesn’t have enough numbers, Wes tries to threaten Tonya that unless she votes Shane, she’ll be going. She immediately agrees (to his face). Later, we hear her telling Tina that she hates the manipulation and lying. She then interviews (to us) that this will be the most entertaining Challenge yet.

And that, kids, is our first episode! Tune in next time (in about 30 seconds) to see the first Exile deliberation and how long it takes for naked procreation to happen in the pool!

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