Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, Episode 8 - “El Diablo Mentira”

Rejoining our friends at the unRealWorld/nonRoadRules Challenge, we jump in right where we left off, with Tonya pouting over being sent to Exile, most of the kids trying to stay out of her way, and Wes vowing that he’ll win every Exile until the end.

Tina & Kenny are cavorting around the pool while Tonya and Wes sit and contemplate the evil that is Tina. We’re treated to a flashback of Tina and Tonya screaming at each other from Gauntlet II, and Tonya explains to Wes that she truly despises Tina. They agree that if either of them win the next challenge and save themselves from Exile, they will nominate Tina & Kenny in their place. Wes interviews that Tonya is a ticking bomb and even though she hasn’t exploded yet, her wick is getting “thin.” I’m not sure if that counts as a mixed metaphor or just a bad one – judges, can I get a verdict? Tonya tells Wes, “If you beat her, I’ll suck your toes!” From the look on his face, I think he’s as nauseated by the prospect as I am.

That evening, as the kiddies socialize, they’re interrupted by those dulcet T-Mobile tones we all know and love. Katie reads the clue: “Now that you’ve been to great heights, you better get pumped up for this challenge.” Johnnie interviews that tomorrow’s challenge is very important, and he and Tonya usually finish “really well,” so he thinks they have a good shot. I wonder what he’s been smoking and whether he’ll share…

That same evening (I think), we see Linette and Theo cuddling in one of the bunks. Theo interviews that Linette has “some sort of heart disorder” and, as a result, has a crush on him. We see them cooing sweet nothings into each other’s ears (“el diablo mentira,” which translates as “the lying devil”) as Theo tells us they have a “bilingual love connection.” “We’re just a couple of crazy little rabbits having a good old time in Mr. MacGregor’s garden,” Theo interviews – while wearing rabbit ears (gotta love Theo!).

The next morning, Evan, Eric, and Kenny question Linette on the happenings the night before. She calls it “super harmless cuddling” and says they’re just “getting to know each other.” The men greet this last with gales of laughter and high fives, as Eric declares, “That’s the best line of the day!” Linette interviews that she just finished a long relationship and isn’t looking for anything serious right now; she’s just waiting to see “where this goes.” Evan interviews that Linette has been holding out because she wants Theo to respect her. “I mean, how much respect do you need before you take it to the next level?” he asks. I feel a sudden need for my Tums – the nausea has now been joined by heartburn.

We see Tonya packing her bags as a prelude to the Exile. Casey interviews that Tonya brought a lot of stuff, as we see Tonya struggling to pile all of her belongings outside the cabin. Methinks the fairies of foreboding are being uncommonly direct this week.

And now we join TJ on the shore of the beautiful Brunswick River for the next challenge, Incredible Deflating Kayak. Each team will have to take an inflatable kayak out of its bag, inflate it (using a hand pump, their mouths, or both), paddle to the other side of the river to retrieve a flag, and return to the shore, where they must deflate the kayak and get it back into the bag. The team that does this in the shortest time will win a trip to Costa Rica, as well as the privilege of setting the order of the next challenge. In addition, if Wes & Casey or Tonya & Johnnie win, they will escape Exile and will have to appoint another team in their place. If any member of a team falls out of the kayak or allows any part of their body to fall in the water, then that team must return to shore and start over.

Theo & Chanda set the order, and Chanda tells us they put Tonya & Johnnie back in the order to give them a better chance of winning, since Theo feels it’s unfair that they were voted into the Exile.

Shane & Linette and Katie & Eric are the first teams to make the attempt. Shane & Linette move quickly and are returning with their flag as Katie & Eric first enter the water. Shane & Linette continue to work hard as Katie & Eric seem to be enjoying their afternoon paddling along the river, with Eric actually laying down in the rear of the kayak. Shane & Linette finish first, but as usual, we have no idea how quick their times are. Next up are Derrick & Diem and Tina & Kenny. Derrick & Diem finish first with Tina & Kenny close behind.

Now we have Coral & Evan and Wes & Casey. Wes tells us their strategy was to inflate the kayak as little as possible, both to lessen the inflation time and the time to deflate the boat. This seems like a great idea, except that Wes lets his foot trail in the water and the referee says they must start over. Since they know they won’t win, they take the disqualification, choosing to save their energy for the Exile. The last pairing is Darrell & Aviv with Tonya & Johnnie. Tonya & Johnnie hit the water first, but they have great trouble navigating and Darrell & Aviv finish first. Theo & Chanda are the last team to go, and they perform capably. Since there’s no one to compare them to, it’s impossible to rate their performance.