The Ultimate Fighter 4, Episode 6: Captain Miserable

The big news this week is of course UFC63 on Saturday night. Thanks to being out of town most of this past week, I am able to post the results. I didn’t see the show, but I was able to get the results and give you a bit of commentary. Results are courtesy The Wrestling Observer Newsletter.

Jorge Gurgel beat Danny Abbadi via decision, which is a surprise to me because I never saw it going the distance. The big surprise of the night was Jens Pulver getting knocked out by Joe Lauzon in 48 seconds. How this affects Pulver’s rumored coaching duties on TUF5 is anyone’s guess.

Rashad Evans actually had to show a little offensive ability in his victory over Jason Lambert. As Meltzer mentioned, it proves that Evans can actually finish someone and he supposedly looked impressive doing it. I’ll reserve judgment until actually seeing the match, but no one will be happier than I if Rashad cuts down the pancake offense.

I had assumed that TUF1’s Mike Swick might be in line for a title match with an impressive victory over David Louiseau. Swick won by decision, but it was hardly impressive as both played very defensive in what was expected to be a slugging war. Again, how this affects the title scene is anyone’s guess.

Finally, Matt Hughes once again defended his welterweight title against one of the few men to ever beat him, B.J. Penn. Penn dominated the first two rounds, but gassed trying to finish with a triangle choke at the end of the second. Hughes and his legendary tenacity won out in the third, as it was stopped for ground strikes.

UFC has filled out the card for the 10/10 Spike TV Ortiz/Shamrock: The Final Chapter special, and it showcases The Ultimate Fighter 3 contestants heavily. Rory Singer vs. finalist Josh Haynes fight in a preliminary match, which will only air if the televised fights go short. No chance of that, huh? In the three semi-mains, Matt Hamill takes on Seth Petruzelli (as previously reported), runner-up Ed Herman fights Jason MacDonald, and TUF3 winner Kendall Grove meets Chris Price. All three opponents are UFC newcomers, and it’s pretty much assumed that all three are tune-up fights to showcase their three new stars – the outcomes of these fights isn’t much in doubt. But, again, it’s not like they need to put on Griffin/Bonnar III to draw like they did for UFC62.

Speaking of TUF3 winners, if you’re wondering what happened to Michael Bisping, he’s been out with a knee injury. They hope to bring him back for the November finale. They also haven’t announced it yet, but expect the December 30 PPV main event to be Chuck Liddell defending against Tito Ortiz.

Finally, UFC has announced the main event of UFC64 on 10/14. Former coach (and guest star in this episode) Rich Franklin will take on Anderson Silva – who you may remember took Chris Leben’s head off a few weeks ago. Also on the card will be Sam Sherk taking on TUF1’s Kenny Florian. Just these two are enough to make me want to watch it… even though the PPV is on my anniversary. Hmm. I’ll keep you updated as the card is filled out.

When we last left our fighters, Din Thomas won an impressive victory over Mikey Burnett. As usual, we get a rundown of the fight from the others. As usual, there’s not much to say.

Matt Serra thinks the win is huge, they get to choose if Patrick Cote or Pete Sell gets to fight next. Jorge Rivera and Charles McCarthy are sweating over who will be the opponent, and Pete gives them a hint – it’s a 50/50 chance. Heh. Whenever they discuss who is fighting next, Charles looks like he wants to puke. Jorge wanted to choose who he would fight, as he wanted to fight “Drago,” Pete Sell.

Matt asks Charles if he’s OK, since he looks like he just got shot. He says he’s upset that Mikey lost and Matt responds, “easy, drama queen.” I really hope Matt can back this up when he gets in the octagon, or it’s going to be open season on him. Charles tells us that Mikey was a close friend. Again, it’s not like he’s going to be put to death for losing, geez. Besides, he’s still going to be in the house!

Drago tells us that they call Charles “Captain Miserable” because he’s always complaining. Indeed, we get a montage of him whining that “it doesn’t matter” or that something sucks, and he says it in a whiny voice that makes you want to smack him. And he’s overdramatic about it.

Charles tells us that he had a really bad day, and he wasn’t in the mood for anyone to mess with him. Ooh, sounds like fun. Apparently, they have a “wish list” where they can request groceries and whatnot (like a raft?) and under Charles’ name, someone wrote “personality.” Now THAT’S comedy. Charles says that he saw it and became infuriated. Hey, mission accomplished! He looks through the rest of the list (and we see him doing this, so Charles’ version of “infuriated” looks a lot like most people’s version of “sleepwalking.”) and tries to match handwriting, and comes to the conclusion that Drago is the culprit.

Charles “confronts” Drago in the same manner someone might ask what time it is. Pete says he didn’t do it (but from his attempts not to laugh, looks like he knows about it), that he would tell Charles if he did. When Drago asks who told Charles he did it, Shonie speaks up with something about his kingdom. Indeed, Shonie did it and says that Charles should get over it. Charles looks even more miserable, if that’s possible, because not only can he not settle the score in the octagon, he’d get beaten into a bloody smear if he tried. Drago is mad that Charles accused him, and he’s ready to fight.

Dana tells us that Charles and Jorge are really affected by Mojo’s mind games, particularly Jorge because his wife is due to deliver a baby any day now. Hmm, one line of thought says that you put him in the fight while he’s distracted, and the other says you don’t because he’s got a lot of pent-up energy and stress. Then there’s the idea that you wait until after the delivery to make it fair for him.

In any case, Randy Couture walks in and congratulates Jorge, and everyone knows exactly what he means. He presents Jorge with a cell phone where he can watch videos of his new baby girl, and the relief in his eyes is quite evident, to say the least. Congratulations, Jorge.

Time for the fight announcement! Under the theory that they want to provide the fighters with the best training possible, Dana wants to bring in the best of the best. Out walks the machine, Rich Franklin, their guest trainer for one week. I just picture an SNL style press conference – “Mr. Franklin, if you could tell us the biggest weakness of the middleweight champ, one tactic that is sure to bring him down, what would it be?”

For the announcement, Drago steps forward and challenges Charles McCarthy. Charles knew they would pick Drago to fight him, so he’s been preparing for him. Jorge knew it because they see Charles as an easier fight, and Drago isn’t ready for someone like Jorge.

Rich meets the fighters (again, in some cases) and No Love gets in some training time. Charles, meanwhile, gets in some valuable sucking up time. I kid, but I’d probably be even more awed. I mean, take the current UFC champions and think of which one you’d be least afraid of if you met him on the street – and that’d be Franklin. But he’s an absolute monster, a machine in that octagon. Silvia and Liddell can knock your block off and Hughes can bend you seventeen different ways. But Rich Franklin will f*** you up.