An "Insider" Look at Survivor: Cook Islands, Episode 2: Call It Heavy Metal

Many thanks to the ever-awesome Heathyr for filling in for me last week so I could tend to some other matters. It’s always appreciated!

I’ve been rather uninspired by this crop of Survivors, and it’s obvious to me why. I’ve said it dozens of times – when you’re casting, just cast interesting people. It doesn’t matter what race they are, what age, what religion, what anything. If they’re interesting people, it will make for a diverse, entertaining show. If they’re brought on because they’re a certain “type,” which is more overt this season than in the past when “type” meant “cute chick” or “fatherly man,” you’re going to have trouble. Big trouble. Like they have this season, where the standouts and the personalities are getting voted out by the dullards, who are, not coincidentally, the majority.

Billy’s Final Words: He came into this wanting to live the dream of playing Survivor, he lived that dream for six days even though it didn’t turn out the way he wanted. He didn’t play the way he wishes he would have, but he’s not going to complain, at least he got to live the dream. Too bad there wasn’t a heavy metal tribe, he would have fit in better there.

He’ll remember the fun of playing the challenges. They were very creative with the challenges, and they were just that, a challenge. He got to meet some new people, and maybe have that moment of love at first sight, and maybe he’ll get to meet her sometime down the road.

His biggest regrets are that he didn’t represent himself well in the beginning, and that he didn’t get to hook up with Candice. He wants to tell his tribe that Ozzy is the player in the tribe and the others are his pawns. He thinks Ozzy can win it.

Billy, the Day After: He regrets selling out Cristina after Ozzy told him it would be the two of them to the end. He apologized to her and she accepted. He’s also sorry that he didn’t get to know Candice.

His favorite times were when everyone was involved in something, like jumping off the ship at the beginning or competing in the challenges. He got to live out his dream of being on Survivor. He’ll take away a fondness for chasing dreams and being what he is, the rebel.

The ethnic grouping was such a cool idea, it’s never been done before. You get to see which stereotypes are true and which aren’t, if people get along with their own kind. He found out that there’s nothing Hispanic about him except his parents and his name.

If he could start the game over right now, he’d try to fit in, do exactly what he tried not to do, which is lose himself to get further in the game. He would betray everything he is for the fame, the glory and the money, and that is wrong to him. I must have missed something there.

He’s still rooting for Ozzy, even though he orchestrated his exit, he thinks Ozzy has what it takes to go all the way. Any negative opinions of Ozzy are strictly personal.

Seeing the game on TV and living it are night and day. Yeah, yeah. You get your ass kicked from before you even get there. Half the contestants were over the side of the boat on the journey there! And once you get sick, it’s hard to come back. The ones that go the furthest are also the healthiest.

Once he was in the game, it reminded him of the Tom Hanks movie where he was stranded on the desert island (Castaway, if you haven’t figured it out) where he starts to appreciate everything he has. It’s easy to get fire or water back home, it’s crazy how convenient everything is. Even having dry clothes, you take it for granted.

When his name was read at Tribal Council, there were so many emotions. He was glad to be able to get water and get healthy. But also, it was the end of the dream. Once you do it, it’s done, the lights are off.

Anyone who is considering going on Survivor, stop considering and just do it. It doesn’t matter who wins, what matters is the experience. You will not regret it.

Jenny Finds Water: Cao Boi wants to frolic on the sand bar, but Jenny would rather find the water. Cao Boi has looked a lot and is tired of looking. Yul, I think, goes out to fish in the strong current, and Jenny finds the water. She’s, like, in tears. Her tribe is so thrilled that they stand around expressionless.

Cao Boi vs. Puka: Cao Boi says something about bananas and Asian women, and I don’t follow. Brad tells us that they have the bare necessities except for a constant food supply. Becky wants soap. Cao Boi, basically, thinks it’s a waste of time but helps out nonetheless. It’s as exciting as you might think. Brad doesn’t think Cao Boi contributes anything to the tribe. Cao Boi thinks he’s in a rough place in the tribe, being the outsider that he is. He likes chaos. He has to keep telling himself to step back, but when they don’t know simple things like lying a knot, he has to come up. Brad thinks that Cao Boi thinks everything they do is wrong unless he does it himself.

Immunity/Reward Challenge: Pretty dull challenge, but of course I have to comment anyway. Either Ozzy hasn’t watched much Survivor, or he’s a complete idiot. Or both. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, EVER throw a challenge! EVER! Not only could it come back and bite you in the ass (which could have happened this week had Billy been better strategically – remember Cirie in the first episode last season?) but depriving yourself of another team member is never a good idea. Even one as annoying and listless as Billy. You never know when a merge is coming, and hey, he could be someone else’s problem two days from now.