Celebrity Duets, September 28: A Duet Double!

First, we are treated by an utterly overwrought recap of the weeks leading to tonight. All we stuff we already know! Why, Fox, why?

By the way, if you are wondering where Little Richard was during the elimination last week, the story is he dashed backstage to chat with Patti Labelle during the commercial break and missed his call (long-winded as he is, it should be no surprise)! It’s a live show, and no one was going to wait for him, so he had to watch Jai and Cheech get eliminated from backstage.

And, man, he was furious! I hear he threw a world-caliber tantrum and threatened to quit. No one begged him to stay and his tune changed immediately.

Wayne Brady welcomes us. He tells us that the celebrities will perform twice tonight. First, with a new superstar. The second with a celebrity they have brought back for an encore duet.

Wayne reintroduces the judges; Marie Osmond, Little Richard, and David Foster.

For Lucy Lawless, this has been a dream come true. More recaps of the prior weeks. But for tonight, Lucy decides she just has to let loose.

Lucy Lawless with Bonnie Tyler, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

Lucy Lawless starts things off in fine fiddle. Her vocals seems to be in better control than they usually are. Then comes Bonnie sounding like she needs a lozenge like a starving man needs a steak! THAT is not an easy voice to duet with! And, Lucy doesn’t have the weapons to battle a throat that sounds like it swallowed a cup of razors!

Marie says she critiques because she loves and says Lucy’s breathing technique is the problem. Little Richard says he thinks Lucy has improved, “you haven’t got there yet, but you’re better.” David likes the growl in Lucy’s voice.

Alfonso is feeling some pressure about his duet partner this week. He knows the singer, but doesn’t know all his work. Alfonso says he’ll have to work extra hard this week.

Alfonso Ribeiro with Jon Secada, “Angel”

Alfonso kicks things off with some stunning long notes. It’s beautiful. Then comes Jon and together, they are fantastic. It’s some excellent, excellent singing. Wow.

Wayne thanks Jon for being here. Marie says she liked the notes, but she wasn’t believing the words. Alfonso decides to show her the meaning with a hug and some flirting. Little Richard says he felt the song in his toes, and his neck, and his fingers. “He is the thing.” David says Alfonso totally belongs in his world, they way he sang tonight.

Hal is still surprised that he survived (and Jai didn’t). He says he wants the audience to decide, he doesn’t really care what the judges think.

Hal Sparks, with Sebastian Bach, “18 and Life”

Hal starts off with some world-class stinker notes. Sebastian comes out and tries to clean things up, but he’s only one man. Hal is singing like he has a grudge against his own throat! This, my friends, is bad! Sebastian can’t get away from Hal fast enough. Hal looks resigned to be pulverized.

Marie says Hal will be a great arena performer and high five. (Really? Come on, Richard, tell him he sucked…) Little Richard says his grandmother didn’t scream that loud calling the cows. Hal mutters some of them came during his performance. Heh! Little Richard continues that the perfomance was more screaming than he’s heard in a long time. For the screaming, he gives Hal an A. David says Hal sang the melody with a real voice, and he wishes he would use it more. (Are they serious? They are like three Paulas!)

Lucy says she has begun to own her voice. She is excited to bring back her legend to show him how much she’s learned. Hmmm…

Lucy Lawless with Smokey Robinson, “Fly Me to the Moon”

Smokey leads off with the melting butter smooth voice of his. Lucy joins him, and she is definitely more confident than their first pairing. Their voices meld very well! It isn’t so crazy to suggest they record together! They are as steamy as their first time together! Wayne calls them the Prom King and Prom Queen.

Marie says Lucy has had the most diverse material, and she “smoked it” tonight. Little Richard says he was worried about the song choice, but things she did a good job. David says Lucy has done well with every genre she has been given.

Alfonso says he’s excited to bring his favorite legend back. It’s a great artist and a great song, he’s thrilled.

Alfonso Ribeiro, with Gladys Knight, “Save the Overtime for Me”

Alfonso sings this song like he wrote it. Gladys only needs to slide in for her part like she was sliding into a pair of slippers. She and Alfonso have a natural chemistry, and yes, Alfonso does the Carlton dance! Gladys looks delighted she didn’t draw Cheech!

Marie says Alfonso has chosen smart and thinks Alfonso should win. Little Richard says Alfonso reminded him of the Pips, and thinks Alfonso has won. David says Alfonso really nailed it tonight, and if he could vote, he would vote for Alfonso!

It’s unanimous! Count my vote in there too. Alfonso should definitely win this thing!

Hal said he chose his legend to return because it was the first time he got to sing in his genre. Hal thinks he definitely has to preserve his voice this week.

Hal Sparks with Dennis DeYoung, “Lady”

Dennis starts off the singing, singing directly to his wife of 36 years, Suzanne, who looks like she could use a lot less of that white hot spotlight on her. Hal sings his opening verses to his girlfriend, Samantha Humphries, who likes rather bemused. I bet she’ll be glad when this over. Hal continues to be slightly off key, but Dennis is savvy enough to find a way to harmonize with it, and the sonic result is still pretty good, thanks to him.

Marie says the two of them sang well together. Little Richard says Hal sounded unbelievable, and thinks he should be “the one.” (What?) David says he’s begun to like Hal, and thinks he sang like he deserved to be there in the top three tonight. (I wouldn’t go that far! This must be one of those times when things sound different in the studio than on television!)

I don’t see any way Alfonso can lose this thing. Hal’s rock edge managed to edge him past Jai Rodriguez (who got Tamyra’d), but he didn’t execute like last week. Lucy is charming, and gorgeous, that will get her second, but I think this will be about singing, and thus, Alfonso will be the winner.

Am I right? Let’s find out Friday at the finale!

Sting7 has been a respected published writer for many years, as a music editor, entertainment critic, columnist, and interviewer. He also has a curious love for pro-wrestling! You can email Stinger at stingseven@yahoo.com.

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