Beauty and the Geek 3, Episode 1: Madame Libraaaaaarian!

"Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice how much you look like everyone else.” MST3K

The third season of Beauty and the Geek premiered on the CW network January 3rd with a two hour special. Since, as is typical with such season premieres, we’re really talking about the first two episodes of the series shown back to back in a two-hour block, we thought we would break things down a bit by review the first hour in this article and the second hour very shortly. As some of you may remember, I did the recaps here at RNO for the first season of Beauty and the Geek, but had other deadlines loaming when the second season was broadcast last year so Mike DeGeorge jumped on board to take our readers through that voyage and I must say that he did a tremendous job and I hope I can live up to his great coverage that time around.

Before moving on to reviewing the first hour of the premiere, I want to make mention of why readers didn’t get a preview article on this season. After doing some research earlier in the week on the show and contestants, I came to the conclusion that – while all in good faith – the promotional material and commercials airing for the new season have really run the gauntlet in giving away events that occur during the new season. At least in the first episode or two, if not more. The official website has clips of the challenges being performed, background information and names of the contestants involved (an element that typically is not given away before even the first episode airs) and even interview clips. Meanwhile, the promotional material from CW just flat-out told anyone interested which of the geeks are paired up with which beauty and… well… they really knew how to kill the suspense of watching the premiere. Heck, even the first six minutes of the premiere episode managed to give away a lot of little things that are yet to come in the series. Yes, there’s more to the first two hours than all that has been mentioned, but it seems rather odd that they had to give so much away before the first episode even properly gets underway.

Instead, I think the best for me as a viewer and for the readers is to ignore all the promotional stuff that has been (if you watch nearly any television in the past couple of weeks) seen over and over again and look at the series fresh from the first episode onward. Which leads us right to the beginning of Episode One, where the geeks are seen riding up to the house on a bunch of scooters. They talk about beautiful women being alien to them, being geeky and Mario shows off his Nintendo tattoo on his arm. They are:

Alan (“Scooter”) Zackheim – age 23 from Helena, Montana had recently graduated from Harvard University with a degree in Social Anthropology and is working as a receptionist. Scooter had also spent time performing at the Grandstreet Theatre in Helena.

Drew Sawa – age 21 and majoring in Finance and Entrepreneurship with a minor in Philosophy at Marquette University. His claim to geekdom is liking Star Trek, which may not sound like much but he made the point of correcting someone in an interview when they called him a Trekkie and insisting on the term “Trekker.” That’s definitely a geek move (fans that get past the whole “Trekkie/Trekker” argument usually go with the term, “Eh, I like Star Trek. Big deal.”).

Mario Muscar – age 29 and out of Shadyside, Ohio. He has a Masters in Theology from Wheeling Jesuit University, a tattoo of a Nintendo control on one and 25,000 comics. They’re all Team America #9, but -- Okay, just a little comic-geek joke there. Mario recently wrote an article for The Intelligencer and Wheeling News-Register, where he once was a staff writer, and you can read his thoughts about the show here.

Nate Dern – Age 21 and lead singer of a Star Wars tribute band called “So Long Princess.” Studying Social Anthropology at Harvard University, where a December article from The Harvard Crimson has a short interview with him.

Niels Hoven – Age 25 and going after a PhD in Electrical Engineering at the University of California. He also works as a professional dating coach with a traveling workshop called Art of Attraction, which would seem to mean that he can get a date. Whether that means he should be disqualified right there or not, he’s one of the few contestants here that has more than just another MySpace account. His website is here.

Piao Sam (aka “Pi”) – Age 25; works as a tax accountant in Lorton, VA. Came from the April 30 auditions in New York. Admitted in an article for the Washington Post that he was teamed up with Sheree.

Matt – age 22, but looks remarkably older than several of the others. He’s currently at M.I.T, working in applied math problems in industry, won the 2004 Pi Recitation and managed to be one of the few contestants to keep his last name out of any of the reports over the past few months about the program. We’ll dig it up somehow, though. Oh, yes we will…

Sanjay – age 24 and also managed to keep his last name out of the internet radar it appears. He majored in Computer Engineering and Biology and is currently a medical student in Orange County, California.

After the men go inside, the women arrive in a limo. They come out to stand in front of the house under the front balcony and are shown discussing things like being beautiful, competition, not feeling smart and Nadia does a cheer. Individually, they are:

Tori Elmore – age 27 and a model out of Huntington Beach, California. She also has done some television or, mainly in music videos, but also had a role in a third season episode of Entourage. Not sure if this is the same Tori Elmore that wrote into NBC on their website and asked how to be a model on Deal or No Deal, however (see for yourself here ).

Sheree Swanson – age 25 and living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She has a degree in public relations from the University of Central Florida and currently does business development for an event production company. Still, she’s promoted on the show as a former Hooters waitress. That’s kinda like basing someone’s entire life around a summer job mowing yards. She had tried out for the program a year before and was passed over. An interview with her in the Sun-Sentinel gives away a couple of challenges, but it’s still an interesting read.

Andrea Ciliberti – Age 23 and from Kansas City, Missouri where she is a student and bartender (or “bar tender” as they have it on the CW website) at Club NV. No doubt that they’ll be having television showings at the club for Andrea… or they would if they were open on Wednesdays. Well, that’s what you get with a dance club, really. She’s listed as a Beauty Pageant Queen on the official site, but no information is listed as to what was the pageant she won. She was the 2005 Miss Missouri USA. She has an associate degree from Maple Woods Community College.