The Apprentice 2 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 12: I'd Like to Buy the World a... Pepsi?

Apex Corporation:

First off, that bottle was tremendous! Once I saw the finished product, I knew there was no way you guys were losing. In addition, you worked very well together as a team, which just reinforces the point about how much better you would be without Jen.

Kevin: Strangely, we didn't see much of you this week. That's unusual, because with only six people to spotlight, everyone should have gotten their time. You did fine on the presentation (minus the flop sweat, thankfully) and hey, at least you didn't make stupid suggestions. Which brings us to…

Ivana: You didn't exactly follow up your great performance from last week, but you didn't completely drop the ball, either. Your continued campaign against Jen is looking REALLY pathetic, although from the previews, it looks like you've only scratched the surface on the pathetic scale.

Speaking of pathetic, a Pepsi bottle in the shape of an Oscar? You apparently didn't realize that the Oscar statue is copyrighted, did you? Besides, as Kelly said, it had no relation to the task at hand. But then, you're one for going on strange tangents, aren't you? I hated the idea of putting something inside the "D" in the bottle. That was your idea, and it was pretty bad. Placing a piece of a boob inside the hole in the bottle? Sheesh! But fair is fair, it seems like it was your idea to sculpt the bottle, which was inspired. When you get a good idea, it's really good, but too often they seem buried in crap.

By the way, can I just say how unimpressed I am with the, "I crashed the Porshe my daddy gave me" comment? As much as you whine about Jen getting things handed to her because of her looks, those of us who had to drive beaten-down clunkers in high school don't want to hear about you not appreciating the car daddy handed you.

In any case, you haven't totally blown the goodwill you've built up from last week, but you still haven't convinced me that you deserve to be there. It earns you another week without my scorn - at least my saying you were the weakest and should have gone home, anyway, and that should be worth something.

Kelly: I'm still not crazy about your cocky attitude, but I have to admit that you deliver and deliver BIG. The sculpted bottle was fantastic, and it's to your credit that your team worked together as well as it did.

As Project Manager, you should have stopped the "what to put in the hole" discussion short, but you were too busy making fun of Jennifer. Not that I disagree, but it distracted you. What could you put inside that small space without adding the expense of shrink-wrapping the bottle? The hole in the bottle was an innovative creation. Just let it be. If someone asks you what the hole meant, you could say something cheesy like, "that's where the calories went." You were overthinking things badly there.

Mosaic Corporation:

Man, the Pepsi execs were right, that bottle was freakin' UGLY. I like the concept behind the ad campaign, but I have to think there was a better way to go about it. Perhaps make the top and bottom clear? I also didn't hate the geography game as much as the execs, but then, I'm a geek, so what do I know? With a game board and pieces to collect, it would make for a good promotion. For example, have the game board be a map of the world (available at your globe display) and highlight five or six countries on each continent. Make it clear which countries the customer needs to collect. You can promote it as educational, too - kids need all the excuses they can get to drink soda, after all - and you've got a winner. Or, at least, a better product.

Jennifer: I'm seriously starting to reconsider my theory about you being the smartest one there. Also, and this REALLY scares me, I'm starting to agree with Ivana. You're getting by on your looks and your charm, because you're sure not getting by on your business skills. Also, you don't seem to get along with anyone who's still there, least of all the women. All the Project Managers who have defended you are gone now. You're working with five people, none of whom like or respect you in the least. This is not a recipe for a good leader.

Sandy: You and Jen arguing over who came up with the promotion idea is about as stupid as the contestants on My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss arguing about who came up with Scuba Sandy. It's not smart, because it was a losing idea! It's not exactly a great argument to say "I'm more creative, see, I came up with the idea the marketing people hated!" In fact, it could have gotten you fired! It's not that you didn't come up with ideas… you didn't come up with GOOD ideas. Ask Ivana about that one.

I'm not going to say you did a horrible job this week, because no one on your team did well. Historically, though, of the three of you, I thought you most deserved to go home. You just don't have a proven track record. Andy and Jen can at least point to past victories. And WHY did you not bring up how glad Apex was to be rid of Jen? That would have been my opening salvo!

Lastly, I'll forgive the presentation fiasco - going into a situation like that is bound to fluster even the most polished speaker (although, ahem, it didn't fluster Andy. If anything, it keyed him up). But it's definitely something you should work on.

Andy: Well, I'll be darned. You didn't get fired for being too young after all. And, much as I love you as a player, one could make a very good argument that you deserved to be fired this week. You DID have a bad week as leader. Withholding food wasn't a good idea. People get more cranky and less productive the hungrier they get. Now, had a similar tactic been used by Raj in the real estate task, he might have been praised for it. But those were unproven contractors, and these were experienced workers provided by Pepsi to help you with your task. In addition, the $100 incentives were something else all together. Had that been me, I would have found it condescending. I would have pocketed the money, to be sure, but I would have rolled my eyes, it wouldn't have made me work any harder. I've found that what motivates people best is confidence, in yourself and in them, as well as appreciation. Giving them cash while holding back their food sent the wrong message.

Now, the positives. You've got an incredible energy and an unstoppable drive to succeed. There's nothing more dangerous in the business world than an executive who is motivated to prove himself (or herself). You had that motivation. What stopped you this week was a simple bad idea. Hey, not all ideas are golden. Look at the sponsor this week - Crystal Pepsi, anyone? No matter how smart you are, or how successful, you're going to have an idea flop now and then. Business history is filled with bad ideas from successful corporations: EuroDisney, New Coke, the Edsel, FedEx's "Zip Mail" service (remember that? We call it "faxing" now.), Trump's casinos, and on and on and on. My (belabored) point is this - don't let one bad idea slow you down. Instead of going on the offensive against Sandy (or at least BEFORE doing so) you should have defended yourself a bit more. Bring up your successes of the past, and point out that you're not going to let one bad idea stop you.

Should you have been fired? Maybe. Should you have been fired for "letting the women stomp you into the ground?" Absolutely not. All they did is out-scream you. Which, to be honest, is another thing you didn't point out to Trump. In any case, I probably would have done the same thing in your case, patiently wait for an opportunity to calmly present your rebuttal. Nothing is ever solved when two people shout over each other! If Trump admires that sort of "debate," then I sure as hell don't want to work there! Rather, I believe Trump and the producers saw Sandy and Jen at each other's throats and wanted to keep the dramatic pair rather than the steady, less interesting, talented one. As I said, I didn't have a problem with you being fired, but the reason given was a load of crap.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and has almost ten years of management experience. He is also Associate Editor of RNO. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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