The Apprentice 3, Episode 7 Extras: Beauty is Only Skin Deep

The extras start out with a seemingly misplaced scene of Chris and Tana getting dressed up in their clown costumes. Out on the course, Chris chews tobacco. Tana rocks.

Now we’re back to the teams meeting with Trump to get their assignment. I’m not sure why this was included, since they didn’t add anything interesting.

Magna checks out the location of their mini golf course. Stephanie wants a Safari theme. Erin’s sunglasses have taken over her face and are about to invade her neck. Kendra interviews that Stephanie doesn’t seem to realize that their course is right next to Net Worth’s. They could have a great design, but it’s going to come down to marketing. She raises the idea of giving discounts to people who are in the area for lessons. She and Erin then head out to pull off their marketing monopoly. Erin says that they were lethal and people couldn’t turn them down.

Over on the Net Worth side, things aren’t going quite as well. John explains that he, Craig, and Chris went to Kinko’s to get their fliers and banners, but “the girlfriends” wanted to buy the clown costumes. Chris tries to call Audrey for 40 minutes while she, Angie, and Tana shop and have fun in a costume store. Chris thinks that Audrey left the phone somewhere. Finally, she picks up and says that it was charging in the van. Chris asks whether the guys should be working on promotions or the greens. This leads to the big Audrey/guys discussion, ending when Audrey tells the guys to come in for a meeting. Craig interviews that that made no sense, since they were working and getting things done.

Early the next morning (around 4:30) Stephanie and Alex go to the prop shop for their mini golf stuff, then Home Depot for decorations for the venue. Once they’ve gotten all of their stuff, however, they don’t know how to get to Chelsea Piers. Stephanie studies a map, but it’s not very helpful. Alex says that after about ten minutes, she realized that they were going the wrong way and “blew her top.” Stephanie blowing her top, incidentally, involves a lot of swearing but not much else. She doesn’t start screaming and throwing things, at least. She says that she was cranky, hungry, tired, and sans coffee, so she threw a tantrum.

Stephanie is especially upset because they worked out a great timeline, and she didn’t think they would run late. This task is about revenue, and they lose some if they lose even a minute. She says that if they hadn’t made it back to Chelsea Piers, there wouldn’t have been an event. Of course, since we know there was an event, Stephanie and Alex make it back. They’re a little behind, but they just have to put everything together.

Net Worth sets up their course. Chris is in charge of this. Audrey isn’t impressed with Craig’s banner; she says that if he gets a job in graphic design after this, she hopes it’s for a kindergarten class in West Missouri where no one knows anything about graphic design, or even what letters look like. Hey, Audrey? My mom’s from the southwestern part of Missouri. It’s nice there. You should visit. Also, she has a Ph.D. So shut up.

We see Chris and Tana clowning up again. Tana says that Chris is wound tight. She hits him with a plastic hammer and he takes it from her, saying that he’s going to hit John with it. I have a feeling Audrey would like to hit John with that hammer more than Chris would.

Fast forward to Magna going to the golf course for their reward. Erin proclaims Trump’s helicopter arrival “hot.” Come on, Erin, if you’re going to steal Paris Hilton’s vocabulary, at least try to imitate her. The team hits ball with Cristie Kerr. Stephanie says that it’s stressful playing golf with Trump and Cristie.

Trump offers up $1,000 to anyone who can get a ball on the green. After Bren’s attempt, Stephanie goes for it. Stephanie, I have to say, has brilliant comedic timing. She asks Trump if he’ll raise the amount to $1,500 and $2,000 and he replies, with fake exasperation, “Just hit the ball.” Stephanie prepares to hit the ball, taking a few silent seconds, then asks, “One shot or two?” Everyone laughs and Trump exclaims, “Hit the ball!” Stephanie practices her swing as Trump complains that she takes more time to deliberate than anyone he’s ever seen. She says that she has to feel it before she can hit it. She takes a swing but hits the grass. “See, I didn’t feel it,” she says.

Net Worth heads to the boardroom. Audrey blames the team’s loss on promotional and marketing failures. John disagrees. After some bickering, Trump brings up Chris’ tobacco and Ashley gets his great line about chewing not being good for a clown. Trump asks how Audrey became the project manager. Audrey explains that John said she shouldn’t be the project manager, but she told the team that she would use them to 110% of their abilities. However, they didn’t give this. Trump asks if she thinks she failed as a project manager. Of course she doesn’t.

Audrey says that she was accused of micromanaging. She adds that Chris was the only person who gave her the requested timeline, but his was ridiculous. Audrey needs to find a middle ground. She asked for something that no one wanted to give, then complained that it wasn’t perfect. She should have just dropped it. Trump asks if Chris was good and Audrey says that he was, though before this task, she didn’t. Trump asks about the tobacco and Audrey says that she told him to stop doing it in front of people. Trump points out that Chris admitted to being addicted and next time she’ll have to put him in a straightjacket to get him to stop. He couldn’t go a few hours without chewing? He must really be addicted. Trump says that he’s teaching people the lesson not to chew or smoke. Trump, your spokesperson for anti-smoking campaigns.

Trump asks Audrey about John, whom she calls “embarrassing.” John asks why she didn’t step up and take over if he was doing so badly. He answers his own question, saying that she was “content to fail” because that meant she could bring John into the boardroom and try to get him fired. Trump asks if Audrey failed on purpose and if John is paranoid. John says no, but, again, she was content to fail. At 8 p.m. the previous night, she told Tana that she wanted John to make his own decisions so that if the team failed, she could take him to the boardroom. He says that a good leader shouldn’t even think bout failing until the job is done. He starts to say something about the only decision that Audrey made, but Audrey interrupts and says that she wanted John to take responsibility and credit for what he did. She proclaims him “terrible.”

Trump points out that John doesn’t think much of Audrey, either. This leads to the “22-year-old girl” conversation. John, I’m 22, and you’re sleeping on the couch tonight. John says that he wanted a different project manager because Audrey had problems with everyone, but winning would alleviate a lot of problems for the team. He wanted it to be Chris or Tana. But at 8 p.m., she was setting John up and she lost the respect of Chris and Craig because they heard the conversation over the speakerphone. He says that Tana agreed with him.

Trump asks Audrey if John’s “22-year-old girl” comment was the worst insult she’s ever heard. Audrey brings up John saying that she would be successful because she’s beautiful. After some discussion about that, Trump starts asking who everyone would fire. Tana would fire Audrey. Craig would fire Audrey. Angie would fire John. Chris says that Audrey looked for a scapegoat and wanted John to make a decision. He has nothing against her personally, but she looked for a scapegoat and he would fire her. Audrey chooses John, Craig, and Angie to return to the boardroom. Trump allows this, possibly because he wants to know why Audrey wants to bring Angie in.

After some discussion with Carolyn and Ashley, Trump calls Audrey, John, Angie, and Craig back in. Trump says that the whole thing is a mess and tries to get the others to agree that this situation shows how valuable an education is. Audrey and John don’t take the bait. Trump says that Magna is catching up to them and showing that their education is paying off. Craig says that Magna is doing better because they’re disciplined and work better as a team. Angie agrees. Craig says that Net Worth’s problem is “too much ‘me’ in team.” Carolyn wonders why they can’t get past that, but Craig doesn’t know. He thinks it’s too early for them to be focusing on individuals.

Ashley asks if Net Worth had a plan B. John says that the goal of the task was to win by a dollar, so that’s what they tried to do. Audrey disagrees that they were hustling, though John says that they managed to get some customers away from Magna. Audrey says that it was too late.

Trump wants to know why Audrey brought Angie into the boardroom. So do I. Audrey says that it’s because Angie was part of the marketing team. Angie can’t decide whether Audrey or John did a worse job. She finally allows that Audrey might have been worse. Audrey is shocked. Angie says that she wasn’t sure about the guys supporting Audrey on the task. Carolyn asks John why he let Audrey be the project manager if he wanted Chris to do it. John says that his vote was already lost, so he just let Audrey do it, because it was in the team’s best interest. Trump asks if this was the wrong decision, and John says that at that point, it didn’t matter. He supported Audrey until the 8 p.m. phone call.

Audrey argues that everyone else should take responsibility for their decisions. This leads to the conversation about whether or not anyone on Net Worth respects Audrey. Carolyn asks if everyone failed individually and Audrey says that they did. John, Tana, and Chris are good leaders, but they did a half-hearted job and failed. Carolyn asks if everyone should be fired except Tana and Audrey agrees. That was a mistake.

Trump says that Audrey didn’t take responsibility for her actions and wasn’t respected. She may be beautiful, but beauty won’t help her here. Audrey is fired.

In the cab, Audrey says that she respects Trump’s decision and wishes her team luck, but she doesn’t think things will work out for them. They’re divided and might not be able to “revamp their weaknesses.” She allows that it was her time to go. John is still terrible and she’s sad that he’s still there when she’s not. She can’t believe that he just sat back and watched the team fail, then called Audrey a weak leader.

Audrey liked the course they built, but the promotions weren’t great. She thinks that John should have found more parties and groups. She’s still blaming everyone but herself for her failings. How’s that working out for you, Audrey. She says that they did what they could with what they had and she’s happy with what they ended up with, especially since the kids enjoyed it. She didn’t want to leave, since she was having fun. She says something about Carolyn being young when she became successful, and something about winning and loss, but she’s not talking very loudly, so it’s kind of vague. She ends happy that Trump said she was pretty.

Next week: Maybe an extended performance by Barenaked Ladies?

Jenn Brasler is an aspiring writer from Falls Church, VA. You can e-mail her at luckyjenn@hotmail.com. She's trying to decide whether to use her powers for good…or evil. She will write for money. Or candy. Or clothes from Old Navy.

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