The Apprentice 3 Weekly Performance Review, Episode 10: Meat Heads

How much rampant stupidity can YOU handle? First, the second Trump mentioned meatballs, I knew… KNEW, as in “would have bet my DVD collection” that both teams would have meatball pizzas. Of course, Betsy is probably right that Trump loved the thought of them pandering to him. Then, how stupid is Domino’s? They spend money to get themselves an hour-long ad featuring competing meatball pizzas, then have a commercial announcing… a cheeseburger pizza. Zuh? The ad wizards at Domino’s fit right in with these candidates here.

And how about Papa John’s swooping in with THEIR meatball pizza? Papa John’s pizza makes me physically ill, literally, but I’ve got to give him credit for that (meat)ballsy move.

My idea? I would have tried something along the lines of white sauce. Either olive oil and cheese (Pizza Blanco) or an alfredo style. Possibly with chicken or shrimp.

Magna:

Tana: I railed against the double-meatball ideas, but I have to give you credit for at least having the originality to use your biggest advantage – your Italian heritage (Paisan!) – to make your idea stand out. It may not have been the difference, but it had to help.

Kendra: Back at the trailer task, I ranted about how the teams should have gone around to local businesses to drum up sales. Since then, you’ve done it twice, and both times, I think it gave your team the victory. I feel more and more confident every week choosing you as the winner.

Craig: I really, really don’t like you. You had a great idea and showed a lot of persistence in seeing the idea through last week, but, to put it bluntly, your attitude sucks rocks. There’s a good way to tell someone their idea isn’t workable, and you don’t seem to know it. It would almost be funny to see you and Craig together, because if anyone could make Chris finally snap, that smug tone would do it.

Bren: I liked your idea of BBQ sauce, chicken, and cheese – partially because it was at least original. Didn’t see a whole lot of the task, but you seemed to do a great job. I like you, but I know Trump isn’t going to hire you with your unique style.

Net Worth:

Angie: Once again, you got lucky. Your den-mother attitude would get real old, real quick.

Alex: A lot of people are picking you to win, partially because you remind them of Bill and Kelly. That’s exactly why you WON’T win, because I have a hard time thinking Trump would choose the same type three times in a row – at least, if he wants anyone to bother watching season four. This is also why I keep harping on that all-woman finale I’ve mentioned numerous times.

In any case, I think you WAY overreacted to Chris’ tirade. You said you felt “threatened” by him, which is a HUGE difference from Chris actually threatening you. You clarified it in the boardroom, but for a while there, you made it sound like you and Chris were about to meet at Wrestlemania!

And good job taking a cue and shutting up when effectively told to do so by Trump. It’s nice to see that someone can take a hint.

Chris: I don’t see what the problem is. You’ve got a temper, but I have YET to see you do anything close to physical violence. Anyone who can’t tell the difference between an aggressive, loud personality and a violent threat doesn’t deserve to be in a competition like this. Trump seems more concerned about your stupid tobacco habit than such an imminent threat to his well-being.

Speaking of which, I have to agree with Betsy. Perhaps choosing sunflower seeds, another mouth based spitting habit, isn’t the best. I would have stuck with chewing gum.

As for the fight itself, I can’t comment about Alex’ flirting. I probably would have gotten irritated at it myself. I actually had an employee smack me across the top of the head because I made a snide remark about him always doing personal business during work hours. So I can relate to the situation. That said, it seems like Chris had a valid point, reacted more harshly than he should have, and Alex overreacted in return.

Stephanie: Trump and Alex both decided that they would rather work for someone who might physically attack them than you. Chew on THAT for a minute. I obviously made a mistake in complimenting you last week, as I guess the only reason you looked acceptable is that the others were that much worse.

I would have probably gone after the NYU dorms, because after all, not everyone is in class at lunchtime. But your big mistake was trying to do too much yourself. Do you think that if you would have been there, the fight might not have happened in the first place? Either one of them wouldn’t have been there, or having another working body wouldn’t have caused the stress that led to the fight in the first place. Yep, I’m blaming you. You shouldn’t need to babysit, but your presence would have made a difference. You also would have been there to direct the models (why couldn’t they answer the phone?) instead of having them mill around aimlessly. Why not just send a model to the site? Managers don’t deliver pizzas, and it was stupid for you to take yourself away. For that mistake alone you deserved to go.

But the fact is, you couldn’t manage. Trump has shown before that he needs people who know when to do it themselves and when to tell someone else what to do. You didn’t know the difference.

As you know, I’m an Accountant, and I get quite a bit of email from fellow Accountants, so this next part is for my bean counting brothers.

April 15th is fast approaching, which is hell for all Accountants. For Tax Accountants, they have the hell of dealing with tax returns. For everyone else, we have to deal with everyone who knows what we do for a living automatically ASSUME that we’re doing tax returns all day, when in reality the closest most of us get to a tax return is an debit entry on a journal. So we smile and nod and try not to let them see our eyes rolling.

For all my fellow Accountants, I want to recommend a TREMENDOUS CD, appropriately enough, by a group called The Accountants. The CD is titled Corporate Punks Amuck. It’s a rockin’ CD with songs about our favorite profession. Some of the great titles include “My PDA” and “Disgruntled.” And their second CD is coming out in a few months! Check it out, you’ll be glad you did.

Mike DeGeorge has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Business Management from Christian Brothers University in Memphis, and has almost ten years of management experience. He is also Associate Editor of RNO. Email Mike at mikmaria@charter.net.

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