The Apprentice 2, Episode 2: We All Scream for Ice Cream

The second episode of The Apprentice picks up where the last one left off. The Mosaic team is in the suite, wondering who will survive the boardroom. Wes is confident Pamela will make it. John thinks Andy will be the one to go, since he’s so young. Wes and Raj agree. Guys, if Donald Trump were going to fire Andy just because he’s 22, he wouldn’t have put him on the show in the first place. Sure, he might ultimately get fired because of his lack of experience, but it’s not going to be enough to just point to the guy and say, “22.” Andy and Pamela return, and Andy pumps his fist in triumph. There are hugs all around, which is rather amusing considering that so many of them just got done predicting Andy’s demise. Andy says in an interview that he must work harder than anyone else in order to prove himself.

Everyone wants to know what happened in the boardroom. Andy says that Donald Trump sniffs out any weakness. John states the obvious, that going to the boardroom sucks. Kevin does him one better with the even more obvious suggestion that they not lose again. Well, it sounds like they’ve got a solid plan and can now cruise on to victory.

Chris figures it’s been a long night, so he opens up a bottle of wine. Bradford says that he thinks everything is going great with Apex. Ivana, on the other hand, thinks Bradford is in denial and thinks he did better as Project Manager than he actually did. She, Maria, and Andy talk about the fact that Bradford is immune from being fired in the next boardroom. Ivana says that he was the weakest link on the team, and that everything was chaos. Maria wonders how he’ll handle being part of the team rather than being in charge – she doesn’t think he’ll do well. Meanwhile, everyone toasts their fallen comrade Rob.

The next morning, the Trump phone rings, and Bradford learns that everyone needs to meet at Trump Tower. We get a montage of everyone primping. Maria talks to another woman (didn’t catch who) about the merits of her strappy black sandals versus her strappy pink high heeled thongs. Neither of them screams “take me seriously as a businesswoman,” but whatever. Stacie is off by herself while this is all going on, and says that the women are all acting really phony. It’s like high school in that they all pretend to get along, but don’t really. As the other women talk about shopping, Stacie says that she’s not there to make friends. Is it required by law now that on every reality show, someone has to says, “I didn’t come here to make friends.” I wonder if you get a bonus if you’re the first one to say it on camera. Maria reminds us what we learned last week – Stacie is a bit of a nutball.

As the teams wait in Trump Tower, trumpets sound to announce the arrival of Trump, George, and Carolyn. Trump tells the group that he plans to get into the ice cream business, and I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you to hear that Trump believes he will have the best ice cream on the planet. And I’m sure it will come as even less of a surprise to you that the name of the ice cream parlor is Trump’s Ice Cream Parlor. Donald Trump could get more creative about naming his businesses, but that would involve changing his name. The task for this week is to team with Ciao Bella to develop a new flavor of ice cream and sell it. The team with the most money at the end of the day wins. The teams head back to the suite to make plans. Stacy, who I’ll call Lil’ Stacy to distinguish her from Crazy Stacie, says that the women have a broad base of talent, so they have an advantage. I don’t know about that, but I do know that Lil’ Stacy is just about the cutest thing ever, and I just want to carry her around in my handbag. Kevin says again that it’s crucial for his team to win.

Mosaic gets things started. Pamela asks if anyone has any food industry experience. Other than a brief stint at I Can’t Believe It’s Not Yogurt, no one anything to offer. All of them are interested in being Project Manager, so they end up drawing a name at random. Kelly is the lucky winner. He says that being a leader early is an advantage, because even if you do have to go to the boardroom, you can eliminate the weak members of your team. The team starts brainstorming, and Kelly’s military background is evident right away, and not just from the drums beating in the background music. He’s very strict about how much time they’ll spend discussing any one concept, and points out that they could be moving as they talk. Pamela doesn’t like how controlling he is. Kelly explains that the military taught him leadership. He wants his teammates to collaborate, make a decision, and then “fall in line and execute.” It’s a good way of thinking… as long as he doesn’t come across as so regimented.

John suggests that they start looking for distributors. Kevin is worried because the other team is so much better looking than they are and, “Guys will buy stupid stuff from pretty women.” Right, as seen on The Apprentice season 1, episode 1 where the women sold the lemonade. Kelly divides his troops – I mean team – into a flavor team and a sales team. Wes will head up the sales team, which also includes Raj, Kevin, and John. The others will head to Ciao Bella to talk about flavors.

At Apex, Ivana is leading the discussion. She has a chart drawn up on a legal pad and starts talking about how their sales will be a component of price, quantity, product, distribution, and promotion. Ooh, someone was taking notes in class. What she has to say isn’t exactly revolutionary, and Jennifer M. agrees, saying it isn’t a difficult concept to understand. Maria says that Ivana has emerged as the natural leader and nominates her to take charge. Ivana says she’ll do it, but that she prefers a collaborative approach. In an interview, she says that Bradford ruled as a bully when he was in charge of the last task, and she doesn’t want to be like that. Alas, Ivana ignores the fertile middle ground between bully and doormat, as the women start throwing out billions of unrelated ideas. Bradford says in an interview that Ivana was too much “velvet glove, not enough iron fist.”

Mosaic heads to Ciao Bella for a tour. Andy is immediately annoyed, as Pamela asks a ton of questions along the way. She wants to know every aspect of how the ice cream is made, how the machines work, how many people are involved in production, and on and on. He says he’s just there to sell ice cream, not to learn all about the machinery. Kelly says that she seems to just love the sound of her own voice. I think that’s part of it. I also think that Pamela really thinks she’s on top of things, is learning a lot, and might stumble across some innovative idea. The problem is, the clock is ticking.

It’s time for the Trump Lesson of the Week. This week’s lesson: “Get Organized.” Trump says that lack of organization drives him crazy because it shows a lack of leadership. Ahem: Ivana.

As Team Flavor tours Ciao Bella, undoubtedly listening to Pamela ask about the annual air conditioning costs of the building, Wes has a conference call to do some selling. He says in an interview that he’s very comfortable selling over the phone, but the reality we see isn’t quite the same. In spite of the impressive crap tapestry he weaves about how much the focus group loved this mystery flavor, he’s not getting anywhere. He tries another place, but they tell him they’re closed the next day. He asks if they can meet them today, and Raj points out that they don’t have any ice cream today, and they’re closed the next day, so it’s a waste of time. Kevin agrees. Still, it does appear that Wes is the only member of the sales team doing any actual selling.

Apex hits Ciao Bella, and Jennfier C. says it turned into “team havoc.” Ooh, maybe Team Havoc could have been their name instead of Apex. The team grabs a conference room, and they start madly brainstorming ideas for flavors. Stacie says that Ivana never took control of the meeting. That’s probably true, but all I could think about was how good each and every flavor idea that they threw out sounded. Cake batter? Margarita? Parmesan? Whatever, they all sounded fabulous. Did I mention that I’m six months pregnant? At this point, I paused my Tivo and got myself a big fat bowl of ice cream. The baby needs calcium, after all.

Back at Mosaic, Raj wants to know when the ice cream will be ready. We get some technical answers from new ice cream expert Pamela, but the short answer is that it’ll be in 14- ½ hours. Wes asks if they have a flavor yet. They don’t, which is not good news since Wes really can’t sell the ice cream without a flavor. Kevin says, “Drop a chocolate bar in the vanilla ice cream and call it a day.” Everyone suddenly realizes that he’s right, and that it’s not all about coming up with the world’s most innovative product. A few more moments of discussion, and they’ve chosen a flavor: vanilla ice cream with doughnuts. Laws, that sounds good. Please excuse me from this recap while I have another bowl of ice cream.

Okay, I’m back. They meet with a chef, and Pamela asks him how they can make the ice cream taste like doughnuts. The chef draws from his years of experience and tells he to buy some doughnuts. Brilliant! But it will cost them money in raw materials. Chris tries to buy some over the phone, but he doesn’t have any luck. The team needs to get the ingredients pronto so that there’s time to make the ice cream, so a bunch of them pile into a van, hit two Dunkin’ Doughnuts stores, and clear them out. I love it.

Meanwhile, Apex is still trying to choose a flavor. Looks like quick decision making isn’t exactly their forte. Amusingly, one of the flavor ideas someone suggests is doughnut, to which Ivana makes a face. Jennifer C. says that they gave themselves a deadline of 4:00 to make a decision. Finally, they land on red velvet cake. The Ciao Bella executive just says, “It’s interesting,” and assures them that they have all of the ingredients needed to make that flavor. Jennifer C. is giving an interview outside and sees Mosaic arrive with their bounty of doughnuts and is very worried about her team’s chances.

Elizabeth suggests that they try to sell to restaurants, so a bunch of them start making phone calls. It’s a chaotic scene, as they’re all on top of each other talking on cell phones. Stacie says it was hard for her to think straight. She then has what she thinks is a great idea – they can hire five temps to do the promotions for them. She crawls under the table (no, really – she’s literally on the floor under the table) to set it up. Ivana notices and cannot believe what she is seeing. In an interview, she says, “Stacie J. is a loose cannon. She needs adult supervison.” Stacie’s idea of hiring more workers isn’t totally without merit, though with a team of nine people, they probably don’t need many more hands. Regardless, she really should have talked to her boss before deciding to spend some of the team’s seed money.

Everyone is much more optimistic at Mosaic. They all love the product, though Pamela says that they could make it with dog feces, and Ciao Bella would make it taste good. For the record, that statement did not make me crave ice cream. Kelly says that the sales effort didn’t go very well, and he’s disappointed with Wes. Raj says that the restaurant idea just didn’t work out, and suggests that they get ice cream carts and sell on the streets. Andy suggests that as an added hook, they donate some of their proceeds to charity. Kevin says that he likes to give to leukemia charities because his brother had it – he gave him a bone marrow transplant. The men quickly agree to give to Kevin’s charity, and move on to selecting a location. Unlike the women, they did not fill up a dry erase board with names of all of the possible charities in the United States and the rest of the world, nor did they spend the next two hours thinking about possible locations. Raj thinks they should go to Times Square, and everyone agrees. Chris suggests that they put the two carts right next to each other so there won’t be long lines. They’ll set up in front of Toys R Us. That’s a solid plan.

The Apex team returns home, and quickly spies all of Mosaic’s plans. Jennifer C. gloats about the fact that now they know what the other team is up to. Ooops. Stacie whispers that selling the ice cream on the streets is actually a really good plan. The rest of the team agrees. Lil Stacy thinks they should cancel all of their appointments with restaurants. She goes on to suggest that they set up their carts near a booth in Times Square that sells theater tickets. Everyone agrees with the new (stolen) plan. Bradford earns my eternal scorn by saying, “If you grow a set of boobies, you’ll be able to outsell my girls.” Shut the hell up, Bradford. Really.

The next morning, Mosaic hustles to their spot at 7:15 so they’ll be ready to start selling when the ice cream arrives at 8:00. The guys all want to dress like traditional ice cream salesmen, but where are they going to find enough bow ties for them to all wear? Oh, that’s right – in Raj’s suitcase! He hooks them all up, and in their matching blue shirts, khaki shorts, and bow ties, the guys look adorable. It’s too bad Pamela isn’t playing, as she’s wearing a pink top and khakis.

The ice cream truck arrives, and the guys start talking about breakfast. Raj says he’s hypoglycemic, and needs to eat a bagel. John argues with him that they shouldn’t spend any of their seed money on food and should just work all day and hang on to their cash. The two of them argue, and Kelly says in an interview that John lost perspective. Kelly declares that he is allocating the men five dollars each for food. John says that he doesn’t agree. Kelly says, “It’s noted,” and with that, the discussion is closed. Well done, Kelly. Raj says in an interview that John was being crazy and immature. He adds, “He, dead wrong. Me, entirely correct.” Okay, Raj is officially growing on me. I find his pompousness kind of endearing. I think I’m going to go eat a bagel in tribute to him. Also, more ice cream.

Back in the suite, the Apex team is getting ready to go to Times Square. Bradford tells the women that they should look good and should use their sex appeal as much as possible. He then oozes around the suite telling the women that they look good. It’s really icky, and Ivana agrees with me. She says that Bradford “wanted us to whore it up.” Unlike the women of Protégé in season 1, Ivana says, “I didn’t want to play the sex card.” As a professional woman, can I just say amen, sister?

Mosaic, meanwhile, is selling like crazy. They’re promoting the ice cream as a breakfast ice cream, since it does, after all, contain doughnuts. That’s a good point, and as it is almost breakfast time, I think I’ll nip over to the fridge and have another little bit of ice cream. People love the ice cream, and Kevin says that they seem to find it especially appealing that some of the proceeds will go to charity. He thinks that any money they get before noon is a bonus.

Apex finally gets set up, and Lil Stacy loves their location. Unfortunately, another vendor has a permit to sell on that corner, and yells at Ivana for moving in on his turf. She tries to argue that since he’s selling hot dogs, they’re not really in competition, but she eventually gives up and says they need to move. Jennifer says that after yet another lengthy discussion, they hadn’t really made a decision, so they ended up moving each cart in a different direction. One cart gets stuck under an awning, and they have no idea where the other cart has gone. To add to the humiliation factor, they have to pass by the Mosaic stands. Raj hurries them along, and Wes says that they looked defeated.

Jennifer, who never saw an idea she couldn’t steal, suggests that they set up their carts one next to the other, just like Mosaic did. Good plan, but where’s the other cart? Lil Stacy calls the other cart, has Stacie, a native New Yorker, confirm their location, and sends Maria to go get the other part of their team. Maria wanders the streets but cannot find the other team. Not good. Also not good is the fact that Maria and most of the other women are wearing incredibly high heels, and I can’t imagine spending all day on my feet in those things. Maria returns alone, and Lil Stacy calls again to try to find the other cart. Ivana finally spots them, and the team is reunited.

Over at Mosaic, the men are selling their hearts out, and I must say, their ice cream looks REALLY good. If you’ll excuse me for a minute… oh, NO! We’re out of ice cream. Must wake up the husband quick and send him to the store. Okay, on with the story. While the men are doing a great job of selling the ice cream, Pamela is really flat. She limply wanders around, half-heartedly offering ice cream. In an interview, Raj does a funny imitation of her, saying in a monotone, “Would you care for an ice cream?” Wes recruits some attractive women to help them scoop, and Andy adds that they have hot women selling cold ice cream. Chris, though, crosses the line by saying that one of the women helping sell the ice cream will give a kiss to anyone who buys. Not cool, Chris, and the woman agrees, and leaves… but not before Andy gets her phone number. Pamela scoffs at this and thinks Andy is crazy for even bothering. Yes, a young single guy who wants to get a phone number from an attractive woman… nuts!

Apex is hard at work as well, and Bradford is doing an especially good job of working the crowd. Ivana is impressed, and feels she’s finally discovered Bradford’s strength: “Brad is a hustler.” Meanwhile, Jennifer convinces some restaurateurs to come to them to buy ice cream. Ivana is thrilled.

At the end of the day, Mosaic counts their cash and tries to figure out how much money to donate to charity. Kelly explains in an interview very slowly for any really dumb audience members that any amount they give away will be deducted from their bottom line, so they don’t want to give away so much money that they’ll lose the challenge. We get it, Kelly. They decide to donate $150.

Everyone heads to the boardroom, and George and Carolyn give the results. Apex earned $2,472.29. Mosaic came in with $2,707.49. Mosaic wins! Trump asks who was in charge at Apex and shudders at the mention of the name Ivana, which cracks up Carolyn. Ivana says she thinks her team had a better product. Mosaic disagrees, saying that they had a better flavor and a better sales effort. Pamela points out that they actually brought in even more money, but gave some of it away to charity. So basically, Apex stole Mosaic’s idea of selling the ice cream at Times Square, stole their set-up idea, Mosaic gave away some of their money, spent more on raw materials, but Mosaic still won. Their reward is a dinner out at a caviar restaurant. As Mosaic leaves the boardroom, Kelly asks if the rest of the money they earned can also be donated to the charity. Trump readily agrees. That is really cool.

Back in the suite, the mood is really low. Bradford says that losing is like his Kryptonite, that it sucks the energy right out of him. He tells Ivana that they lost because they were disorganized. She doesn’t agree. In an interview, she says it’s easy to blame the Project Manager, but that her team didn’t see all of her inner workings. Oh, whatever.

Mosaic enjoys their celebratory dinner, particularly Pamela, who loves caviar. Andy jokes that he has about $20 worth of fish eggs stuck between his teeth. Kelly toasts his team, then Andy offers a toast hoping that they’ll all remain friends. No one else is quite in that spirit, but Chris jovially raises his glass and says, “I love you.” As the guys drink champagne, eat caviar, and have a good time, Pamela looks disapproving. She’s quite the fun-hater.

Both Jennifers and Maria talk about the upcoming boardroom. They all agree that Ivana made some major mistakes. The carts were lost for three hours! Chaos reined! A few minutes later, Ivana grabs Maria and asks her what everyone is talking about. She tells Ivana that the “seeds of discontent” have definitely been planted. Worried, Ivana gathers everyone together to talk about the big picture. She reminds the other women that the two carts were separated, and blames Stacie for giving them the wrong location. They all agree that was Stacie’s fault.

Hey, where is Stacie, anyway? Just then, she walks into the room. Wow, did they have that meeting without telling her? That’s harsh. Stacie asks, “What did I miss?” and wonders if everyone was talking about her. She’d be right in this case. Stacie calls the other women catty and says she will fight like crazy to stay in the game. She asks Jennifer what they all talked about, and Jennifer refuses to answer, telling her to ask Ivana. The two argue some more, and Stacie tells Jennifer to “have a nice life.” Bradford says that the tension in the suite was like “a knife fight.” He tells the women that in the boardroom, he’ll admit to any mistakes he made. Everyone has to pack their bags – except Bradford, who reminds them that as the prior Project Manager, he’s exempt.

Everyone files into the boardroom. Trump says that they lost by a big margin, especially considering the money Mosaic spent on ingredients and the money they donated. What happened? Ivana says that their original location by the ticket booth was great, but that unfortunately they had to move. Trump chides her for not fighting to keep her location. A frustrated Carolyn says that what they were doing wasn’t exactly rocket science – all they had to do was sell ice cream on a hot day. Bradford agrees, but accidentally calls her Caroline, which she clearly does not appreciate. He says they over-thought the project.

Trump points out that the men looked much nicer than the women did. Bradford praises the “girls” for not selling sex. First of all, they’re women. Second of all, Bradford, weren’t you encouraging them just a few hours ago to wear skimpy outfits? What an ass. Trump asks if they should have used their sex appeal. Ivana says simply, “I would rather lose.” Trump says that they can look good and not compromise themselves, and that there is sex in the boardroom. Bradford smirks at that. Carolyn criticizes them for their lack of vision. Okay, they didn’t parade around in mini skirts, but, “You did nothing.” They could have hired clowns or passed out balloons, but they didn’t.

Trump asks Bradford how Ivana was as Project Manager –average? Bradford agrees. Trump points out that Bradford can’t be fired, so he can afford to be more critical of her. Bradford says that he’s so confident in his own record that he’ll waive his exemption. Trump thinks it’s an incredibly stupid move, but takes him up on it.

Jennifer M. says that Ivana should have been more decisive. Sandy talks about how the carts were separated for three hours and cites Ivana’s poor leadership as a reason. Ivana jumps in to blame Stacie for that. George says that the place where the second cart was and the place where they were looking are actually only half a block apart. Maria says that Ivana lacked control of the group.

Trump points out that Stacie runs a restaurant in Harlem and asks what she thought of Ivana’s leadership. This amuses me, it also amused me in the first episode when Stacie was referred to as a restaurateur, since as the owner of a Subway franchise, a better title might be sandwich artist. But I digress. Stacie says that Ivana was disorganized. Ivana jumps in to say that Stacie required a lot of supervision, and tells about her trying to hire the temps. Stacie insists that she and Bradford sold the most ice cream. Sandy says that Stacie is more of a liability than an asset. Stacie says that the team is like a sorority, and she’s more independent. Trump points out that they’re supposed to be working as teams, not as individuals.

Jennifer M. says that Stacie was a good seller, but she’d keep Ivana over Stacie. Sandy would fire Stacie, as would Bradford, Lil Stacy, Jennifer C., and Maria. Trump says it’s time to make a decision. Ivana can take either two or three people with her. She starts to say she’ll take two, then changes her mind and opts for three. Trump calls her indecisive. She will take Stacie, Jennifer C., and Bradford with her. Trump tells Bradford again that he was stupid for giving up his exemption.

In the hallway, Ivana tells Bradford that he has nothing to worry about. Really? Then why did she pick him? Bradford beats himself up for his decision, saying, “That was dumb.” Jennifer asks Ivana why she chose her. Ivana assures her, though not in so many words, that Stacie is still the target.

Inside, Carolyn says that Ivana was a poor leader. George, on the other hand, thinks Stacie is “an oddball.” Trump is undecided, and sends the candidates back in. He tells Bradford that he shouldn’t be there – why did he risk himself like that? Ivana says that he did well. Really, Ivana? Then why did you pick him? Trump tells Jennifer that she shouldn’t be there. Ivana shrugs that she had to choose someone. Right, she did, but she actually only had to choose two people, a fact that Trump calls her on. Trump tells Bradford that his decision was “life threatening.” Bradford says he’s confident that he did well enough on both challenges that he’ll be staying.

Jennifer pipes in that she has something to say. Trump tells her that he already told her she wasn’t in danger, and says, “You ought to shut up.” My laws, I love this man. Trump returns the focus to the others. Stacie says that Ivana was indecisive and had no control over the group. Ivana says Stacie is a liability to the team. Trump asks Bradford if he should fire him for being so dumb as to put himself on the chopping block. Bradford, unsurprisingly, says no. Trump adds, “What you did was stupid.” Ivana admits that she wouldn’t have done it.

Trump tells Bradford, “You’re the best in the room.” Jennifer snorts and says, “That’s insane.” Trump looks at her and asks why she’s still talking, since he already told her to clam up. Hee! Trump goes on to say that Ivana was a lousy leader. She was disorganized and lacked the respect of the team. Stacie, on the other hand, is “hated by all” and gets no respect. Jennifer needs to learn when to keep her mouth shut. But Bradford made a stupid and impulsive decision. A decision like that could destroy a company. For that reason, Bradford is fired.

Wow! I was not expecting that. Neither was Ivana, who says, “Oh, my God!” several times. Bradford leaves, saying he won’t make that mistake again. Jennifer apologizes for speaking up, and Trump resists the urge to backhand her and say, “I thought I told you not to talk.” Ivana looks stunned, and finally manages to get up and leave the room.

Bradford realizes that he has no luggage, and heads outside empty-handed. Trump says that he had no choice. Bradford made a stupid decision, so he’s happy with his decision. Carolyn thinks it’s great.

Well, like I said, this decision really surprised me. Jennifer really had no reason to be in the boardroom this week, so I didn’t expect her to get fired. Stacie is weird, and she gave her team bad information, but I really don’t think that’s the reason the team lost. After all, it’s not like both carts had to be together in order for them to sell ice cream. I really think Ivana’s poor leadership lead to the team losing the task, so based on that alone, I would have fired Ivana. Still, Trump’s decision makes sense to me. He doesn’t want someone running one of his companies who would make a rash, risky, potentially destructive decision like the one Bradford made.

In his final interview, Bradford says that he thought he made the right decision, and that he’d be like a general going into battle with his army. He expected to be respected for it… but that wasn’t the case.

Next week, on The Apprentice, the candidates will work with a Fortune 500 company and a major celebrity. And in the boardroom, someone will break the rules. Intriguing. I’ll see you next week. Until then, I’m off to have another bowl of ice cream and get some sleep.

Betsy Wasser swears she didn’t eat that much ice cream in the course of recapping this episode… or did she? Betsy is the Associate Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached with any comments at betsyw42@hotmail.com.

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