The Apprentice 3, Episode 7: The Tears of a Clown

The candidates are talking intently about what happened in the boardroom, and Tana tells Magna all about what was going on. John tells them that he told Trump that they didn’t lose the task because of Audrey, but that overall Tara is stronger. Stephanie says that you just never know what’s going to happen. Kendra says in an interview that everyone was in suspense until Audrey walked back into the suite. Kendra observes that she “looks as if she were someone who felt abandoned by her team.” Indeed she does, and instead of joining the rest of the group, she goes off to bed alone. Craig tells the group that he told Audrey not to take it personally. In an interview, Audrey says that it hurt her to be called the weakest link. She pulls out a book, and I can’t help but notice that she moves her lips as she reads. She tells us that she hates being treated as if she were incompetent.

Craig tells the group that he thinks that if things get personal in the boardroom, you should talk it out. Angie agrees and goes to get Audrey so they can all talk things out. In an interview, Angie says that the team is really dysfunctional, and that they need to have a meeting to work it out. She and Audrey head out on the balcony together, and Audrey is hopping mad. Chris joins them as Audrey is saying that she will not be treated like a child. She rants that she has worked very hard to get where she is in life. Both of her parents went to prison, and at the age of 17, she was living out of a car. “I am where I am today,” she says, “because I crawled and begged.” She says that girls hated her because she was beautiful, and she wanted to scar her own face so she wouldn’t be. I notice the little red flag that comes up when a person on a reality show says that other people don’t like them because they are jealous. Audrey goes on to say that she wants to be accepted, and she cannot stand the suggestion that she didn’t pull her own weight.

John comes out on the balcony to join the discussion, and Audrey says the conversation is none of his business. He says it is, because they have to work the next day, and his fate lies with the team. Audrey is mad because John thinks he’s better than she is. John says, very calmly, “I don’t think I’m better than anybody.” He asks her if she wants to listen to what he has to say, or if she just wants to yell at him. She says he doesn’t respect him. The two argue until mother hen Angie tells them to stop. Audrey refuses to talk to John.

John tells her that she will make more money than any of the rest of them “because you’re gorgeous and you’re a sweetheart.” Audrey finds that insulting, and I kind of suspect that it was meant to be. Also, Audrey may be beautiful, but she does not seem to be a sweetheart. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – I’m not a sweetheart either. John says that he doesn’t trust his future career in her hands. Audrey swears at him and storms off, and he calls her on the fact that she handled a conflict by swearing at him and storming off. In an interview, John says that Audrey is a big baby. He and Chris agree that she’s immature. In an interview, John says, “Maybe she needs to go home and come back in ten years.” Until then, she is in over her head. As far as whether anybody thinks they’re better than anybody else, John tells Chris, “At the end of the day, everyone here thinks they’re better than everyone else.” That is absolutely true, and doesn’t contradict what he told Audrey before, that he’s not better than she is. He meant then that he’s not better than she is as a person. I don’t doubt that John thinks he’s better than she is as a candidate. They’re all very confident people, or they wouldn’t be there.

The Trump Phone rings, and as usual, Angie gets it. She learns that they all need to meet Trump in the boardroom. After a grooming montage, the candidates file into the boardroom. Carolyn is back, but now George is away, with a man named Ashley filling in for him. Trump tells the candidates that he loves golf, so they’ll be building mini golf courses on Chelsea Pier. They’ll run the golf courses for one day, and the team that makes the most money wins.

Trump Lesson of the Week! This week’s lesson: “Play Golf.” Trump says that many strong relationships are formed over a game of golf. And now for the Betsy Lesson of the Week. If you have leftover salad, put a wet paper towel over the salad bowl. Your lettuce will stay crisp, and the salad will stay fresh.

Audrey volunteers to lead Net Worth. She says that she has played mini golf (which causes Carolyn to roll her eyes), then adds that she has a lot of creative ideas. John doesn’t want her to be in charge, and suggests that the person with the fewest personal problems with other members of the team lead, namely Craig. After Audrey said “F*$# you” and stormed out of the room, John says, he doesn’t think she’d be a good leader. Audrey cannot believe John said that in front of Carolyn, and adds that it’s only because she wouldn’t let them step all over her. Audrey tells the team that she wants to prove herself, says, “My business is all business,” and that she wants to use all of their skills. Angie and Craig vote yes for Audrey to be in charge, and John says that she sold him. In an interview, Angie says that it’s do or die for Audrey.

Audrey starts delegating tasks. Craig will handle the marketing, which she says will be very important. Chris will design the course. And John will do… then Audrey says some stream of consciousness stuff about marketing, kind of, and how they’ll be targeting kids until Tana steps in and suggests John handle promotions. Huh, I’d think Craig could handle that under marketing, but no matter.

Stephanie is in charge of Magna, and they’re checking out their location. Erin is wearing some sunglasses, by the way, that I have to say no to. The course will have a safari theme, and Stephanie dubs it, “Safari Sunday.” She talks excitedly about buying tons of greenery and shrubs to fill up the space.

Kendra, on the other hand, thinks the focus should be on marketing. In a really cute hat, she tells us that the team with the best marketing will win. She suggests that they seek out kids who will be taking lessons in the area – gymnastics, skating, or whatever – and offer them a discount. Stephanie okays that plan. Kendra then goes to meet with a bunch of local businesses that have kids’ activities that day and negotiates an exclusive cross-promotional deal with them. Only Magna will have a marketing presence in those venues. Kendra says, “We effectively shut Net Worth out.” Wow, now that we’re actually seeing Kendra, the woman is pretty smart.

Net Worth looks at costumes for their circus theme. As the women pick out clown costumes, the men work on flyers. Chris calls Audrey, muttering, “take the phone out of your purse.” He asks if they should pass out flyers or put together the greens. Audrey says that John should decide. Because prioritizing these tasks is somehow… promotions? Chris, exasperated, says, “It’s not our decision to decipher if you want us doing promotional stuff or if you want us putting together the greens.” He says that she’s in charge and should make the decision. Craig puts it a different way to her – what should they do right now? She says to put John on the phone. She tells John that they’ll meet at the pier and talk about this. Then, to Angie and Tana, she says she’ll sit John down like a child and beat him. This woman has a serious mad-on for John, because he isn’t even the one who called her in the first place. John says in an interview, “Audrey has made one big decision, and that was that she would not make any decisions.” That way, if they lose the task, she can blame others.

The team meets, and Audrey wants a timeline and status report for everything they’ve done so far. John thinks it’s a waste of time to talk about what they’ve already done, and that they should focus on what they’re going to do next. Craig says in an interview that Audrey doesn’t have a plan, but that she wants everyone else to have a plan, in writing, so she can look at it. John tells Audrey that he thinks she’s trying to set him up to be fired. Angie disagrees, but John is unswayed. In an interview, he says that Audrey was trying to set up a clash of the titans, but that it was more like a lion swatting away a gnat.

At 4:25 the next morning, Stephanie and Alex leave to get all of the props. Stephanie says that the team is in “full hustle mode” to get things done. Considering that Magna has so far gotten almost no air time, I’d say things look pretty good for them.

Chris is decked out in a clown suit… chewing tobacco. Tana says in an interview that she has never seen a clown chewing before, but that now a whole bunch of kids on Chelsea Pier have. Tana is pretty darned funny sometimes. Chris thinks the kids might be afraid of him, and it sure looks like it. But to be fair, clowns are creepy. In an interview, Chris says that he takes the task very seriously, an ironic interview, considering that he is wearing his clown suit. Thanks, editors! Chris says that the other members of the team are reluctant to put on their costumes because they’re not willing to look like fools.

And speaking of which, here’s John, not in his clown suit. Audrey orders him to clown up, and he tells her no, quite rudely (I love him, but it was definitely rude). Audrey looks sad, which is kind of awesome because she’s wearing her clown suit. Audrey thinks he’s being insubordinate, but I just keep thinking of relatable song lyrics. Everybody loves a clown, so why don’t you? And where are the clowns? Send in the clowns! There’s nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there’s no one around.

Sorry. That was a tangent.

Anyway, John puts on his clown suit and hates it. In an interview, he says, “It’s appropriate that the circus is our theme because it’s been a complete circus from the beginning until now.

All is rosy at Magna. Stephanie is proud of how the course looks. Bren is in an adorable safari hat and is great with the kids. Erin says lots of people are coming in with their coupons, so she knows their plan is working. She says that Magna takes an intellectual approach, whereas Net Worth takes a “street” approach. That’s a good point, and would make a great theme for the show.

The candidates gather in the boardroom, and is there any doubt as to how this will go? Ashley reports that Net Worth had great energy and earned $304. Carolyn says that Magna got exclusive marketing with various local vendors and had an effective coupon promotion. They brought in $508. Magna’s reward will be a golf game with Trump and golfer Christy Kerr at the Trump National course.

Magna takes a limo to the Trump National golf course, and they’re very excited. Then Trump arrives by helicopter. They’re all impressed, but I think it would have been even more awesome if he’d been lowered down from the helicopter. Still, Erin thinks a man with a helicopter is “pretty hot.” Speaking of Erin, she is a terrible golfer, a fact that she freely admits. Trump calls her swing “delicate.” On the course, Trump offers $1,000 to anyone who can hit the ball onto the green. Bren goes for it and hits sand.

Net Worth is looking glum. Audrey is washing her face, and Angie joins her at the sink, so Audrey takes advantage of that opportunity to ask her how she did at delegating. Angie diplomatically says that every task has room for improvement. Audrey says in an interview that she admires Angie and would like to be like her when she’s older. Angie thinks that Magna won because their marketing was better, and that Craig was in charge of their marketing. Audrey immediately jumps in that John should have handled it better. Well there’s a big surprise. Who would have guessed that the member of the team Audrey hates the most was in charge of the part of the task at which they failed. Go figure. Anyway, in an interview, Audrey says confidently that John will be fired. Angie warns Audrey that Craig and John will go after her. Meanwhile, John is fully aware that the two are conspiring against him, and he’s not worried. “I’ll bury her,” he says.

The team heads to the boardroom. Audrey says that they lost due to marketing and promotion, and that Craig and John are at fault. John disagrees, and says that the task was a total mess from the top down. He adds that anyone who disagrees with him either has low standards for leadership or is lying to themselves out of self-preservation.

Chris says that he was in charge of design, but points out that Audrey didn’t put anyone in charge of actually setting up the course. Trump asks Chris why he was chewing tobacco in his clown suit. Chris says that he’s been chewing since he was 15, and that he’s addicted. Trump says that’s not good. Ashley adds, “Especially for a clown.” Hee!

Audrey insists that she did not fail as a leader. She is tired of the project manager being solely in charge, and thinks it should be fine for a manager to delegate. Trump says that’s true, but that the manager has to follow up. Audrey says that John did not promote well. John asks why, if he was so terrible, didn’t she take over and save the team? He thinks that she didn’t care if they lost, so long as John was the one fired, not her. John tells Trump, “She is what she is, a 22-year-old girl.” He adds that this conflict started in the boardroom on the task before. Audrey tells Trump what John said about her being successful because she’s pretty and nice. John says Angie said the same thing and Audrey took it as a compliment. Audrey says she is not just pretty; she has a brain, too. She thinks that John is jealous of her success and that it’s easy to put her down for being young and pretty.

Tana says she would fire Audrey because she didn’t have control of the team. Craig says he’d fire Audrey because of “missed opportunities.” Trump asks Angie who she would fire. Angie says that when the team loses, everyone focuses on the project manager. Trump pushes her, and she says she’d fire John.

Audrey chooses John and Craig to join her in the boardroom, which isn’t a surprise… and Angie, which is. Trump says he usually won’t allow four people in the boardroom, but this time he will. We can take that to mean, “Except in Season 2, but that ended up being kind of boring.” The candidates leave so that Trump and the viceroys can talk about them.

Carolyn says that Audrey was a terrible leader. John didn’t do well either, but at least he defended himself. Ashley hated John’s remark about Audrey being a 22-year-old girl. Trump sends them back in.

Trump declares, “This is a mess.” Ashley says that they lost because of marketing. Craig says that their strategy was to undercut Magna. John agrees, and says that all they needed to do was win by one dollar. As a result, he and Craig were out hustling, offering to beat Magna’s prices. Audrey points out that it took them half an hour to get dressed, wasting valuable marketing time. Trump asks why Audrey brought Angie back, a question Angie is curious to learn the answer to as well. Audrey says Angie was part of the marketing team. Trump asks Angie if her choice of person to fire changes now. Angie admits that she possibly would fire Audrey. Audrey interrupts her, and Angie tells her to let her talk. Trump says, “She does talk. She doesn’t stop.” That’s never a good sign. Angie says that the men on the team didn’t want to support Audrey. Audrey says that the other members of the team need to be responsible for the tasks she assigned to them, she won’t be.

Carolyn says that the team did not respect Audrey. Trump says that she’s very pretty, but she’s not respected. Angie says she does respect Audrey, but Craig shakes his head no. Carolyn says that according to Audrey, all of them but Tana failed. Where’s the leadership? Audrey says that all of her teammates are strong leaders. So why did they fail? Audrey thinks they did a half-assed job. Carolyn asks if they should just fire everyone but Tana, and Audrey thinks that’s a fine idea.

Trump says that Audrey constantly blamed everyone else, was a terrible leader, and had no respect from her team, not even from her friend Angie. She’s beautiful, but that’s not enough. Audrey is fired.

Trump says it was an obvious choice. Carolyn agrees, saying that Audrey had no control over the team. Trump says, “At lest they can’t say I picked the best looking one.” Somewhere, a tear rolls down Stephanie’s face.

This was an obvious choice, and not just because Audrey went after my boyfriend John. Yes, she delegated the tasks, but it looked like the responsibilities weren’t clear. For example, Chris was in charge of designing the course, but he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to put it together. Where did Craig’s job of marketing end and John’s job of promotions begin? Audrey said that marketing was an important part of the job, the thing that would make or break them. She found it so important that she put three of her team members on the marketing and promotion team, yet she never got personally involved or followed up. As for John’s comments that Audrey was just a 22-year-old pretty girl, they were definitely condescending, and I think John would be the first to admit that. They show a lack of respect for Audrey, and John most certainly did not respect her.

In her final cab ride, Audrey says it was an incredible experience. She wishes John had been fired instead of her. And she finally adds, “Mr. Trump did say I was beautiful, so that was nice of him.” That’s kind of sad.

Next week, Barenaked Ladies, Moby, and Gene Simmons guest star as the candidates put together a charity auction. Even more interestingly, it’s time for a corporate restructuring, as the teams are evened out.

Betsy Wasser is the Associate Editor of Reality News Online. She can be reached with any comments at betsyw42@hotmail.com .

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