Reality High Test Results, September 21-27: Some People Never Learn, Do They?by Belle Book -- 09/27/2006
Welcome back to another week at Reality High! It’s another week of trying to teach Reality TV show contestants the fine arts of game play, logic, and strategic technique. Let’s see if there’s any improvement this week.
In any case, the remaining nineteen contestants from Survivor: Cook Islands and the remaining ten teams from The Amazing Race 10 returned, and I gave them the tests for this week. They took the tests, and returned them to me. Once I got the tests back, I took a look at them.
When I looked at Adam’s answer to the first question, I had the funny feeling that it was going to be a long day for me:
1. True or False: It’s a good idea to make a real floor for your shelter instead of just sleeping on the ground.
Jessica, Jonathan, and Parvati all answered “True,” while Adam answered “False.” I sighed and told Adam he was wrong. When he protested that Jonathan made the decision without asking the rest of the tribe, I told him that while Jonathan should have asked the rest of the tribe before going forward with plans to make a floor for the shelter, that didn’t change the fact that it’s better to sleep on a real floor than on the ground. I’d rather sleep on a floor than on the ground. Adam frowned, but seemed to accept my reasoning.
I alternatively smiled and frowned when I looked at the second question:
2. What is the best way to get far in the game of Survivor?
A. Scheme and plot, especially to form alliances. But it’s also a good idea to work hard
Before I could say anything, Tina from Survivor: Exile Island came in and handed me a paper with the answer “B.” I said, “Tina! B is still not the right answer! Remember how the voting turned out for you when Casaya first went to Tribal Council?” Tina stared at me for a minute, said “Oh yeah,” and left. I wish I didn’t have to remind her that the vote went between her and Cirie and that while Cirie was afraid of leaves at that point, she knew how to make alliances, and that’s what kept her to the final four. But I did.
Moving back to the test itself, both Becky and Yul answered “A,” and I was pleased to tell them that they were right. Yul is clearly a hard worker and a bright guy – look at how he created the trap that caught two wild chickens! And both he and Becky had the right idea to form an alliance that was based on common cultural background – in their case, the fact that they were both Korean-Americans. Of course, the tribes may be switched in a future episode, so they’d have to adapt. But they’re starting out well.
Meanwhile, Cao Boi answered “C,” and I had to tell him that once again, he was wrong. When he protested that he was amongst fellow Asians, I let him know that ethnic jokes might be okay amongst friends who know you and know that you don’t mean any harm, but it would be a bad idea amongst complete strangers, even those who have the same ethnic background as you do. And those who don’t… that’s an even worse idea. Yul tried to point that out to him but once again, he just didn’t get it. Cao Boi might just be trying to be funny, but he’s not the brightest light bulb out there.
I moved on to the third question, and I knew that I was going to have some hard talking to do with Billy:
3. True or False: It’s a great idea to let others work themselves to exhaustion and just lie around and eat (and drink) the fruits of their labors.
Billy answered “True,” and I called him up to tell him that he was absolutely wrong! He protested that he felt like an outcast because he liked heavy metal, which isn’t exactly the type of music Latinos would listen to. I told him that it was no excuse for being lazy as heck! And when he said that letting the others work themselves to exhaustion was part of his strategy, I counted to 10 before telling him that it was a terrible strategy! I’m not the hardest worker, but if I were on a tribe of worker bees, I’d definitely be trying to pull some weight in my tribe and not stand out like a sore thumb! And I’d be trying to form at least one alliance, if not two, in my own tribe as well. But Billy didn’t do any of that.
Then I looked at the fourth question. It’s one of those no-brainer questions that I decided to throw to the group, just to make certain that they’re still thinking. And then I saw J.P. and Ozzy’s answer to it. My jaw dropped to the floor. My eyes became like saucers. I blinked, hoping that doing it would change the answer. It didn’t, so I just shook my head, and then slapped the side of it, hoping that I was just dreaming. Then I pinched myself. Nothing happened, so I clicked my heels three times and murmured “There’s no place like home.” When I finally realized it wasn’t a nightmare or a hallucination, I called the witch doctor, and this is what he said. He said, “Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang, yeah they’re a pair of morons.”
4. True or False: It’s always a good idea to throw an immunity challenge just to get rid of someone.
J.P. and Ozzy both answered “True,” while Billy, Cecelia, and Cristina all answered “False.” I called J.P. and Ozzy up and told them they had the wrong answer! They both protested that Billy was dead weight and that he had to go! I explained that while I also felt that Billy was dead weight, it was still a bad idea to throw a challenge just to get rid of some dead weight! I then asked, “Do you have any idea what happened to the
last tribe to throw an immunity challenge?” They didn’t, so I told them that in Survivor: Pearl Islands, the Drake tribe threw the challenge, got rid of Burton… and lost the next two immunity challenges! That got their attention.
Ozzy admitted that in retrospect, it might’ve been a better idea not to throw the challenge. But he still felt that they needed to get rid of the dead weight. As for J.P., he continued to mutter that Billy was dead weight, and that throwing a challenge will work out better for them than it did for Drake. I heard him and I said that if he felt that way, then he can just cool his heels… in detention! J.P. stood stock still for a moment, but then he nodded, accepted the pink slip I gave him and walked out to detention. And after that, I took my first Excedrin. And boy, did it feel good!
For all the sheer lack of logic that I found on Aitutaki, at least they knew how to do one thing right, as we see with their answer to the fifth question:
5. You have lost the immunity challenge and are going to tribal council. You have the right to send one person to Exile Island. Who do you choose?
A. The strongest member of the strongest tribe.
Luckily, Aitutaki didn’t choose “C.” I’d have been tempted to bang my head against the wall if they did. Instead, they chose “A,” which definitely was the right move; even if Billy may have had other motives for doing so – namely to get back at the tribe who betrayed him by sending one person to Exile Island who might get the hidden immunity idol. If that was Billy’s motive, it sure worked – Yul found t. Let’s hope he’s more fortunate or wiser than Terry was when he found the idol on the previous series. I’d like to see Yul get to the finals and even win.
What went wrong for Billy? Two words: dead weight. He didn’t pull his weight – and his work ethic was so bad that the tribe was willing to throw a challenge just to get rid of him! Now that’s bad! It’s a bad idea to throw a challenge, but I can certainly see why Aitutaki yielded to the temptation to do just that. Billy was inept and lazy in a tribe that worked very hard and was pretty competent (especially Ozzy, who’s an outdoorsman). If he hadn’t been so lazy, the others probably wouldn’t have yielded to the temptation to throw the challenge. And if he had been better in his plotting and scheming, he’d have survived. But he failed in both areas, hurt his tribe and was sent home accordingly.
Now it was time for the teams for The Amazing Race 10 to answer the remaining questions on the test. Unfortunately, I had to groan when I saw Kellie and Jamie’s answer to the sixth question:
6. What’s the best way to get from the capital of a country to a very small village?
A. Get a map and someone to help you find the village on it for you.
Erwin & Godwin and Peter & Sarah answered “A,” and I was happy to tell them that they were right. If you have a map, and if you can find someone to show you the way, then you’re on the right track. David & Mary and Lyn & Karlyn answered “B,” which wasn’t the best answer but it was a good answer nonetheless. But Kellie and Jamie answered “C” and paid the price by getting tremendously lost. And ultimately, they paid a further price by being eliminated later on.
Unfortunately, several teams had problems with their Mongolian jeeps this leg. And that leads to the seventh question:
7. You see that another team has a flat tire/a broken-down jeep/a jeep stuck in the mud. What do you do?
A. Stop long enough to see if you can help. If you can’t, then move along.
Rob & Kimberly answered “A,” but they quickly moved on when they saw another team coming. Every other team answered “B.” However, I had Lynn & Alex from The Amazing Race 7 both come in with a “C” on their card. “That’s still not the right answer, you guys!” I said to them. They grumbled, but left. Seriously, while “C” would’ve been the right answer under normal circumstances, it wasn’t the right answer in a race. And just about every team realized it was a race, and acted accordingly.
Meanwhile, I frowned when I saw some of the answers to the eighth question:
8. True or False: Your Detour choice should be a task that is particularly suited to your strengths.
Lyn & Karlyn and Peter & Sarah both answered “False,” and I had to tell them that they were wrong. That played a large role in why they switched tasks – and in the case of Peter & Sarah, they did so twice. Of course, Peter & Sarah couldn’t have anticipated getting a native Mongolian animal that got easily spooked. If they hadn’t had bad luck with their animal, they might’ve done better with the Fill It Up task.
Although Lyn & Karlyn screwed up with the eighth question, they recovered with their answer to the ninth question:
9. When a team offers to lead the way to the river where you can fill some jugs with water, what do you do?
A. Accept the help, of course. If the opportunity arises, you can always repay the favor.
Fortunately, Lyn & Karlyn answered “A.” David & Mary were kind enough to offer to help them, so why shouldn’t Lyn & Karlyn accept it? Besides, they might have the chance to help David & Mary later on. Unfortunately, they had to make a second trip, and then both they and Kellie & Jamie had problems with their jeep. If Kellie & Jamie hadn’t gotten lost on the way to the Hotel Mongolia, the single moms would’ve been eliminated since the cheerleaders got their jeep started first.
10. True or False: It’s a good idea to scream at your partner to motivate her to get going during a task.
Rob answered “True.” I counted to 10, and then told him that the answer was “False.” I told him that just about nobody likes being screamed at any time, but especially during a task. Rob began to protest, but I reminded him that I sent one person to detention, and then asked him if he wanted to join J.P. there. That shut him up.
In any case, Kellie & Jamie were eliminated this time. What went wrong? It seems like navigational problems did them in. Perhaps if they had actually gotten a map, they might’ve done better and Lyn & Karlyn would’ve been eliminated. On the other hand, they had major problems doing the Roadblock, so maybe they would’ve been eliminated anyway. We’ll just never know.
In any case, I had to hand out my grades to those that were still in the game. I first began with the grades for the Cook Island contestants. Adam got a “D” this time, and he looked rather unhappy. Becky got a “B+,” and was quite pleased. Cao Boi got a “D” and he frowned, but otherwise didn’t seem too upset. Cristina got a “C,” because while she answered the fourth question correctly, she still clashed with Ozzy over his survival skills, and that’s not good. Jessica got a “B,” while Jonathan got a B- for the way he went about working on the floor. J.P. got a “D-,” and I had to tell him that he was lucky he didn’t get an “F” this week. Ozzy got a “D” and he went, “Damn! From an A to a D! Well, at least I didn’t flunk the test.” Parvati got a “C.” And finally Yul got an “A+,” and he was delighted!
Then I handed out the grades for the racers. Erwin & Godwin got a “B+,” and they seemed pleased about it. Lyn & Karlyn got a “C+,” but were happy to be passing this time and not failing. Peter & Sarah got a “B-,” and both of them cheered. Rob got a “C,” and he wasn’t too happy about that one, but I told him, “Look on the bright side. At least you didn’t fail, and you weren’t sent to detention.”
I was left with Billy and I told him, “You really brought your own demise upon yourself. You not only failed to provide food, you actually sat back and let the other people do the hard work and exhaust themselves. If it was a strategy to make yourself seem useful, it was a terrible one! And you didn’t do much to form alliances with Cecelia and Cristina, who were your best bets since Ozzy and J.P. had already written you off. You were just a screw-up, and that’s all there was to it.” As for Kellie and Jamie, I told them that they should’ve gotten a map. It would’ve helped them quite a bit.
Before Kellie and Jamie left, I gave them their grade. It was a “D.” They sighed and said, “Well, at least we had a great time.” And before Billy left, I gave him his grade. It was an “F.” He sighed and said, “I knew it. Well, at least I didn’t get detention.” No, he didn’t. But he still self-destructed, and did so even worse than Kellie and Jamie.
In any case, come back next week. Will Ozzy and J.P. redeem themselves? Will Yul continue to impress me? Will Lyn & Karlyn come back from two bad performances? It’s happened before. And will Rob & Kimberly finally drive me to take Excedrin or send them to detention? Find out!
Belle Book is a library clerk for a community college in Pennsylvania. The Amazing Race is her favorite reality TV show, so she’d love to be on it sometime! If you wish to contact Belle, she can be reached at BelleBook@aol.com.