Top Chef: Las Vegas, Episode 1: Could It Be… Seitan?

Nice job, Kelly Choi and crew. Now move over. It’s time to bring back Top Chef, the original flavor. Host Padma Lakshmi and head judge Tom Colicchio have invited 17 up-and-comers – Padma says “the most talented group yet” – in the culinary world to the glitz and excess of Las Vegas with the goal of winning Macy‘s merchandise, a feature in Food & Wine Magazine and a spot in their Aspen festival, $100,000 to help open a restaurant – no charities here; they’re playing for keeps – and of course the title of Top Chef.

The cheftestants come at you fast and furious in these first episodes, so if you want to get to know them better, check out my preview and learn who these guys are and where they’re from.

We see all the familiar Vegas sites before we’re introduced to Kevin Gillespie (and his beard) at the airport. He’s a 2009 James Beard nominee, and someone who ditched a full scholarship at MIT to go to cooking school. What, MIT doesn’t have a cooking school? Psshaw.

Ooh, the Top Chef house this year is posh! No city loft here; this looks like somewhere the cast of a reality dating show might stay. Preeti Mistry is anticipating high stakes and gambling. Ron Duprat says he grew up in Haiti and has a philosophy of keeping things simple and fun. Even Aronoff is surprised to be the only chef from Michigan. She notes that most of the others are from “big cities.” The opposite of Michigan isn’t “big city,” but whatever. Mattin Noblia is wearing a red ascot thing-y – I don’t know; fashion isn’t my forte – and Hector Santiago says he thought the Frenchman must have been from Pamplona. Heh.

Eli Kirshtein cooks because he loves to eat – “I’m a fat kid, so all I want to do is have fat kid food.” Well, he’s honest. Gotta give him that. Eli, Kevin, and Hector strike an early bond – their restaurants are all within a couple miles of each other in Atlanta apparently, so having the other two around gives Eli a little sense of home.

Ash Fulk is shocked that he’s the only chef here from food mecca New York, which really is surprising. He also says he’s the only one with a boyfriend, then amends that to “same-sex” boyfriend. I guess that means he’s the only gay male on here, so if you choose your rooting interest based on that, then Ash is your guy.

Jesse Sandlin, she of many tattoos, says she’s not formally trained, and a lot of kids come out of school with delusions of grandeur and don’t know what they’re doing. Yeah, formal training really never does anything for you, does it? Jennifer Zavala – one of two Jennifers from Philadelphia (ergo, my early sentimental favorites) – also has lots of body art. She won’t unpack because she’s superstitious. The other try to convince her to because it’s a sign of faith that she’s staying, but she still won’t. Jennifer Z. has a wee little son (we see a picture; cute) and she wants to win this show to help send him to the Ivy League.

Jennifer Carroll is also from the Illadelph, and name-drops her boss Eric Ripert, a frequent judge on this show. She says she can be “a freaking bitch in the kitchen” and that she’s made plenty of boys cry. Ooh, do we have our villain for the season? Villains usually say things like that.

Bryan Voltaggio is always learning something and moving forward. One thing his new housemates learn about him is that his younger brother is here too – Michael Voltaggio. Preeti is very interested by this development. Michael suggests the two brothers don’t see much of each other anymore, and that Bryan is the more conservative of the two. Mike Isabella also knows Michael V. already – they worked together in opening an establishment. Mike chuckles that maybe he shouldn’t have come on this season. I guess the younger Voltaggio is tough!

The chefs get their coats on and head out. Ashley Merriman has never been to Vegas before, and knows it’s a big-time food city. She’s excited about it. The chefs arrive at The M Resort and Casino. That’s right, it’s just called “The M.” It’s on the newer side. This is where they’ll be cooking apparently. Kevin says the cookware in this kitchen puts his restaurant to shame. “If you can’t make good food out of the equipment that’s in that place, then you have no business calling yourself a chef.” Ah, we’ll see if you still say that after this episode, Kevin. Laurine Wickett is a caterer who finds herself a bit overwhelmed by it all.

Tom and Padma are awaiting for the new batch of cheftetstants in the kitchen. Hector says they make him nervous, and that Padma is “more beautiful” in person than she is on TV. I don’t doubt it! But don’t try anything, Hector. Wasting little time, Padma introduces the season’s first Quickfire challenge – the infamous mise en place relay race. They’re doing it in teams of four – but how will that work with an odd number of contestants?

Well, Padma is about to explain. In keeping with the Vegas theme, luck will play a bigger role than normal. Aided by the Stardust Showgirls, all legs and big plume headwear, Padma pulls poker chips from a hat. The colors on the chip select the teams – no more drawing knives, I suppose. However, cheftestant Robin Leventhal draws a golden chip. She thinks that’s a good thing … she hopes. It is – she gets to sit out the Quickfire and get immunity in the elimination challenge. Jackpot!

The first leg of the relay is to shuck 15 clams; second, peel 30 prawns; third, clean up five lobsters; and finally, butcher two chops from a slab of prime rib. Sounds like the makings of a good Vegas buffet! When someone thinks they’ve completed a leg, they yell “check,” and Tom comes over to approve the work and let the next team member move on to the next task. First team to finish all four tasks wins (duh).

The teams discuss who will do what. Preeti gets stuck with the shucking job. She’s never done this before. She figures clams are the same as oysters; Kevin tries to tell her otherwise, but it’s too late to explain in detail. The race is about to begin!

Both Jennifers, Preeti, and Mike I. get to shuckin’. Preeti (Red Team) is just hacking away at the clams and isn’t doing very well. Someone has cut themselves up pretty badly. Jen Z. (Green Team) hasn’t done this in a while either. Mike (Black Team) looks over and realizes Jen C. (Blue Team) is keeping pace with him. He figures he must be doing something wrong because “no offense, but a girl shouldn’t be at the same level I am.” Oh, well, I would say that’s ridiculously sexist, but as long as you added the “no offense” bit … Nevertheless, Mike finishes ahead of Jen C. She can’t believe he beat her. Something tells me these two are going to butt heads a lot during this show.

Black and Blue Teams move on to the spot prawns. Eli’s on them for Black, Jesse for Blue. They get through pretty quickly. Poor Preeti and Jen Z. are still dragging their teams down on clams. Kevin says he might as well have brought a beach chair and palm tree with him, because he’s not touching a thing in this challenge. Heh. Jen Z. finally finishes, though, and Laurine starts the prawns.

Ashley is doing lobsters for Black, Mattin for Blue. Jen C. is impressed with Mattin’s skill and speed on this leg of the relay. Ashley isn’t doing so hot. The other two teams are nowhere close. Blue moves on to the final task, which is all Bryan. Hector tries it for Black; he believes he can catch up to Bryan. It’s a tight one, but Bryan calls it first, and Tom declares Blue Team the winner!

As usual, we have a ticked-off loser, and that would be Mike I. He seems like a real peach, doesn’t he? But wait – the Blue Team still has to settle this amongst themselves. There will be an individual winner here. Robin gets the option of trading her immunity for a chance to compete in the final Quickfire leg – which could earn her a $15,000 cash prize, another of this season’s new wrinkles. Robin is tempted, but decides to hold onto her immunity. Mike I. sees this as a sign that she’s not confident in herself. No, it means she’s smart – never risk your game life for a smaller reward if you’re safe. It’s a reality show maxim. Donald Trump would fire her on the spot if she did that on The Apprentice, just for being stupid.

Basically, it’s a cook-off where the primary ingredient will be the one the chef worked with in their leg of the race. Poor Jesse can’t remember ever working with prawns before. Bryan feels much more comfortable with streak. Jen C. thinks a light, refreshing ceviche would be good. Mattin says you can’t go wrong with lobster. Jesse thinks of shrimp and grits, which is the type of food she leans toward anyway. Michael V. is rooting for his brother from the sidelines – as long as they aren’t directly competing, he’s Bryan’s biggest fan.

Padma calls time – Jen C. looks around at her competitors’ plates and thinks they look real good, so she’s worried she went too simple and will lose. Jen presents her “ce-VEECH” (love the way she says it; very Philly) with citron vinegar. Mattin has made lobster bay leaves and star anise (a Chinese spice). Jesse presents shrimp and grits with polenta, and reminds them not to forget to suck the head for the best bit of the prawn. She giggles when she says it; I would too, but I’m like 12. Bryan did a ribeye crusted with fennel, coriander, and black pepper, and caramelized celery. Bryan says he made a lot of mistakes, and normally wouldn’t serve this, but that’s what you get when you’re racing the clock.

So Padma and Tom have tasted everything and it’s time to announce results. Tom says it’s tough; they were all good, but Bryan’s and Jesse’s could have been better. The purée Bryan included was bland and gritty, and you couldn’t taste Mattin‘s star anise and bay leaves. As for the favorites, Jen C.’s flavors were nice and clean, and Jesse developed a tremendous amount of flavor for only having half and hour. But the winner is …

Jen C.! So she gets a $15,000 chip and doesn’t want to stop here – she intends on winning every challenge to come. Hey, aim for the stars, Jen.

Time for the elimination challenge: Oh, this is a cool idea. Since we’re in Vegas, the land of vice, the chefs will each cook a dish inspired by one of their own personal vices. We’re still in groups, but not as teams – each little pod of chefs will have one of their rank be up for the overall win and one in line for elimination. Robin gets one more goodie out of her lucky draw – she gets to choose what “team” she’s with. She goes Blue. Hmm. Compete against the best, huh?

Anyway, the judge this time is Wolfgang Puck, and his significance should need no explanation. The chefs get $150, 30 minutes to shop, and two hours to cook the next day. We get a fun little clip of Kevin in the pool before he get down to business. “The last thing you’d want to see is Kevin wearing a bathing suit poolside,” says Eli, summing up the situation nicely.

Shopping montage: Mike I. apparently ran into Preeti with his cart – or as he puts it, “Purty … or Preeti, or whatever she is. I don’t care, you know. And Eli’s running around like a little monkey.” Boy, Mike is really kind of a jerk, isn’t he? Kevin thinks Eli is buying every scallop in the store. Say it with me: This is Top Chef, not Top Scallop! Bryan wants to win bad; he knows that in three of five seasons, the first elimination challenge winner went on to claim the title, so he wants this one.

Ron tells us that he spent 27 days at sea traveling to the United States – it was very dangerous, and some people got thrown overboard. He credits good fishing skills for keep him alive, so he’s basing his dish on this association. I’m not sure how staying alive is a vice, but it’s the route he’s going. Hmm. I don’t feel good about this.

Jen Z. has a hot temper, she says, so she’s doing a chile relleno and stuffing the pepper with seitan, a wheat gluton. And yes, it kind of sounds like “Satan.” The Church Lady wouldn’t be going anywhere near this dish. Maybe if Jen wins, however, she can say, “Well isn’t that special?” Jen works with the stuff all the time, so she feels comfortable with it.

Shopping over, the chefs head to Wolfgang Puck’s Cut restaurant, where they’re using the kitchen and serving the meal. Ash’s mind is blown; he says he could fit his entire restaurant in this kitchen.

The Red Team – unfortunately, we didn’t get a good look at all their members in the relay race since Preeti was so far back – consists of Kevin, Michael V., Eve, and Preeti. Of course they’re not really a team now – they’re going head-to-head. Kevin says his dish is based on his habit of procrastinating (nice!), so he’s cooking his fish, Arctic char, in a method that’s very slow. Hopefully not too slow – there is a time crunch here.

After the clam debacle, Preeti knows she has to bring it. She’s doing a fennel-crusted pork tenderloin with Maker’s Mark Manhattan-scented sweet potato purée. As a Kentuckian, I like seeing that Maker’s Mark bottle. It’s a part of our culture. (For those of you confused based on my earlier comments, yes, I’m both a Philadelphian and a Kentuckian at heart. Go figure.) Michael V. is using a rack. You know, a rack, as in … lamb. What were you thinking? The same thing Michael is. He says a lot of people come to Vegas looking for that. No comment.

The Green Team – Laurine, Ron, Ash, Jen Z. – gets their edit now. Laurine says her vices are doughnuts, bacon, chocolate, and beer. Honey, those aren’t vices. Those are some of God’s greatest gifts to His creation. A little respect, please. Laurine is making bacon doughnuts with a Belgian beer sauce and a chocolate sauce. Very literal. Kevin is observing Jen Z. and her seitan, and calls the choice “ballsy.” He asks, “Why cook with seitan? Nobody even likes that stuff. It’s yuck.” Vegans may like it, but I don’t know anyone else. We see clips of Ron having fun in the kitchen. He seems like a real nice guy … but you know what happens to nice guys.

Move over to the Blue Team’s action, now with added Robin. Jen C. is a girl who likes her alcohol. That’s my Jenny from the block. She’s making a “super-intense” lobster stock with Maker’s Mark in it. Bryan talks about cooking against his brother. He says their mom wants them to maintain a relationship (even though they live on opposite sides of the country), but it’s hard to show the love in a competition like this.

I’m starting to sense a theme here: Jesse’s vices are alcohol and excess. Hey, you need a good drink after a night in the kitchen sometimes! She’s doing “tipsy chicken,” but she’s a little worried that her chicken breasts will be too dry, and she’s wishing she’d put it on the wood grill instead of braising it.

The Black Team – Mike I., Ashley, Hector, Eli – should be called “Team Testosterone” between Mike and Hector, the latter of whom brags about cooking “with cajones.” He’s going to deep-fry a ribeye steak because in his culture, “we’ll deep-fry anything.” Mike I. notices this and is beginning to believe his competition won’t be as difficult as he thought. I agree – as much as I love deep-fried food, this is a mistake. And I’m not sure that if your vice was being “fried,” that you’d want to admit that on national television, but we don’t know what it is yet.

Surprise, surprise: Kevin realizes he’s going too slow, making the last few minutes until deadline hectic. “My plan has backfired,” he says. Eve wishes she was more easygoing; not being so is her vice. She’s making a curry cream with shrimp, scallops, English peas, and … she wants white wine, but has to settle for cream, making the dish unbalanced. Oh, this is going to be a train wreck. She’s not long for this game. Jen Z. is disappointed in her plate too – the breading is starting to come off the chile relleno. Robin runs out of time and can’t get her gastrique on the plate, so she’s glad she has immunity.

The Black Team enters the dining area – hey, why aren’t they having this at Colicchio’s restaurant in Vegas, anyway? – and presents their good to Tom, Padma, our old friend Gail Simmons (drool), and Wolfgang Puck.

Mike I. has olive oil poached halibut with eggplant purée. The halibut looks like the bar of soap his mom would stick in his mouth when he got in trouble as a kid. Heh. Eli is arrogant, bitter, and drinks too much. He said it, not me. He did a “buttered” Scotch with scallops, cashews, and beer powder, and made sure the sauce was bitter. Demonstrating these qualities, Eli tells us he’d probably walk out in traffic if he lost the first challenge.

Ashley has a fondness for red wine and bourbon. A cheftestant who drinks a lot? Imagine that. She says the dish is about how the drinking affects her negatively – so she works in some liver. Ha! Chicken liver that is, a ravioli with red wine demi-glace. She says the filling has chicken thighs, “which could be a another vice.” I’m not even sure I get that. Hector’s vice is smoking, so he smoked a ribeye and is serving it with a carrot purée and ceviche of celery.

Wolfgang likes Eli’s scallops, but believes the cheftestant was doing too much. Tom wants to know why Hector made the “bizarre” decision to deep fry the steak. Wolfgang says if one of his chefs did that, he’d throw that person into the fryer too. Gail likes that Mike’s dish was focused and concise. Did we hear about Ashley? Did I miss something? Guess she doesn’t count.

Blue Team’s up next. Bryan says that after a great steak, he likes a bourbon and a cigar, so he’s made a New York strip steak with parsnip purée and a bourbon reduction caramel. I cannot understand what Mattin’s vice is when he says it, but I think he’s saying he’s a Taurus. Anyway, he’s done a buffalo ribeye with Madeira sauce zucchini, and mashed potatoes.

Jen C. tends to do stupid things after a lot of alcohol. Again, she said it. She likes whiskey and bourbon, so she put some in with her poached halibut along with a black peppercorn sauce. Man, the judges are going to be drunk after this challenge! Jesse’s big on whiskey too, so she’s made a whiskey reduction for her braised chicken, and put it with Yukon potatoes and a fried egg. Robin says she’s a “bad Jew” and pork is her vice. She says she attempted pork five-ways but her gastrique didn’t make it on the plate. She serves a pork tenderloin stuffed with chorizo and bread pudding.

Gail says everything on Bryan’s dish is well-executed, but there’s too much purée for Tom and Wolfgang. Jen’s sauce had a lot of depth of flavor, says Gail. It’s that Maker’s Mark! “We won’t get a better Hollywood in Las Vegas,” says Wolfgang. Jesse’s chicken looked great, but the breast was overcooked and dry. Mattin did justice to the meat, but the zucchini was unnecessary, and it didn’t tell Padma anything about the chef.

Enter the Green Team. Ash, like Kevin, is into procrastination. He’s made a poached halibut with eggplant ratatouille and a parsley coulis. He says he waited too long to put the sauce on, so he only put it on half the plate. Jen Z. is hot-tempered, so she put Satan – er, seitan – in her chile relleno along with tomatillo salsa.

I’m not sure Ron knows what “vice” means, because he tells the story of his exodus from Haiti again, which has nothing to do with personal flaws. He’s made a jerk bass with collard greens and Haitian hash. Is it just me, or does Haitian hash sound like a street name for something illegal? Laurine still thinks bacon and doughnuts are a vice. No, no. Anyway, she has bacon doughnuts with chocolate and beer sauces.

Gail dives into Laurine’s dessert first. Sigh. Wolfgang thinks Ron’s fish was nicely cooked, but there’s too much going on underneath. Gail likes his story, as does Tom, who observes that it has nothing to do with a vice, however. Tom can’t seem to lift the fork to his mouth with Jen’s chile relleno. It’s not good. No flavor, and the dish is clunky. If you cooked this at home, you’d never get visitors again, says Wolfgang. He also compares the doughnut to a golf ball … and throws it off the table. The other judges are cracking up.

Red Team is last. Mike V.’s tribute to plastic surgery in Las Vegas (hee hee) is his rack of lamb with coconut sauce and cauliflower gnocchi. Preeti’s weakness is shucking clams. No, wait, her weakness is the Maker’s Mark Manhattan. She used it to braise a pork tenderloin with a sweet potato purée. Eve wishes she were simpler sometimes. In fairness, she comes across as pretty simple already. Her shrimp and scallops in a curry cream sauce is suppose to represent complexity; I don’t see it. Actually, she calls the seafood “simple.” What? Ron’s not alone in his confusion regarding theme, I think.

Kevin is a procrastinator, so he’s sped up things that go slowly and slowed down things that go fast. He cooked his Arctic char slowly and added a turnip salsa verde. Balancing out speeds hopefully means he’ll be on time, he says. He tells us that if he doesn’t win, he’ll be worried, because this was a perfect representation of what he can do.

Padma loves Kevin’s story. Tom loves the dish. Eve’s dish wasn’t in balance, says Gail. Neither were the scallops seared well. Tom likes the “rack of lamb” pun. I think Gail and Padma don’t find it as clever. Heh. Wolfgang likes the way the lamb was cooked, and Gail says Michael showed some skill. Wolfgang concludes the meal by saying there were some bright stars, interesting food, and “like all of us, a few turkeys.” Tell it like it is, Wolfgang!

In the “Stew Room,” the cheftestants second-guess themselves. Jen Z. talks about her seitan, and Mike I. has apparently never heard of it. He seems to think she is saying “Satan.” He seems genuinely concerned, or confused, or gassy, I can’t tell which face that is. Padma enters and calls in Ron, Mike I., Kevin, and Jen C. As they exit, Ash points out that those four were the winners.

Of course, he’s right. They were each picked as the best of their respective teams. A big expression of excitement and relief from the fab four. The judges praise Mike’s flavors, saying they were focused – every flavor worked off the one before it. Wolfgang says Jen’s fish was cooked to perfection, but chastises her for drinking too much. She laughs it off gracefully.

Gail got great island flavors from Ron, and the fish was done nicely. Tom points out the “vice” thing but says he’s happy Ron lived to be here with them. That might be the first time that’s been said at Judge’s Table. Wolfgang loves Arctic char, but the salsa verde Kevin added went well with it. It was a beautifully executed dish, but one dish had what it takes to be a great dish in any restaurant, and it was …

Kevin’s. Good for him! He may not impress by the pool, but he got Wolfgang Puck’s attention with his food, and that’s all that counts here. Kevin says winning the first challenge feels really good, especially this early when everyone is sizing each other up still.

Next, the bottom four go in for judgment: Eve, Jen Z., Hector, and Jesse. Hector is told his dish didn’t have the smoked flavor as advertised, and he should have cooked it on a wood-burning grill. Hector admits he made a mistake. Eve’s seafood had too little seasoning and the sauce was “blah.” She says she toned the dish down a little bit. She tends toward big, bold flavors, but there was enough going on as it was, and so she didn’t add more seasoning. This explanation confuses both me and the judges. Tom just doesn’t like the way the seafood was cooked.

Gail says Jen’s dish was “clunky,” and needed refinement, as well as a little more heat. Tom doesn’t think Jen knew what she was trying to accomplish. Jen disagrees and passionately defends her dish – maybe a little too passionately. Jen wanted to use the seitan because it’s “good for you.” Um, no. I’m taking the Church Lady’s side here. Jen says the seitan is delicious, but Tom notes that it didn’t impress any of the judges. Jen wanted to sue something they wouldn’t forget, “but unfortunately, I guess you want to.” Tom looks exasperated now. Gail tells Jen that using seitan wasn’t the problem; it was the way she cooked it.

Jesse is well aware that her chicken breast was too dry and knows exactly what she did to make it that way. She’s clearly upset with herself. Wolfgang was excited by the dish initially, but the execution just wasn’t what it could be. He tells her to work on it so it becomes a great dish for her one day. That’s actually a really positive criticism for Jesse.

The cheftestants leave and the judges chat. They seem to like that she knows where she screwed up; Jen, not so much. Padma calls it a “Vegan bar midnight special.” Hector gets credit for being the worst of a strong group. Eve’s seafood looked sad, and Wolfgang says if you can’t season the simplest thing, why cook?

Let’s get to the results, shall we? The person going home is …

Jen Z.

Jen still believes she tried to do something different that was bold. Maybe no one else does it because it’s a bad idea? Just a thought. She feels like crap after putting herself out there, but realizes that even being considered for something like this is a big honor. “There’s a million people that would love to be in my shoes.” She gets emotional in her final confessional. It’s tough, because she wanted to win this for her son, and she hopes he’s proud anyway. I’m sure he is.

Well, I’ve got one Philadelphian left, and I can stop calling her “Jen C.” – it’s just Jen now. I like this cast! A few potential villains, some real likeable folks, and clearly a lot of talent. But what do you think? Let me know, and tune in next Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET – same Chef time, same Chef channel!

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Chris Harris is a newspaper journalist from Somerset, Kentucky and has to thank RNO Associate Editor Jenn Brasler credit for the title on this one. Give credit where it’s due. You can email him at wokosaurus@msn.com.

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