The Real World WWF Tough Enough, Episode 1: Bumps

by John 'Freakboy' Brodigan -- 07/10/2002
How much cooler would The Real World be if you could take the whiners out and beat them? Well, that's what happens on WWF Tough Enough -- to a point, anyway. Episode One begins our look at what happens when wrestling stops being fake, and starts being real.

This is the true story of a few hundred people, most of whom are out of shape and un-coordinated, picked to travel to New York, audition in front of wrestlers and MTV producers, to find out what happens when wrestling stops being fake...and starts being real.


Imagine if you would having to sit through The Real World and listen to a bunch of whiny twenty-somethings complaining to the cameras. Now imagine getting to see those same people get the piss beat out of them afterwards. Think about it. How much cooler would Real World: Hawaii be if you got to see Amaya rolling in the mud and falling down on the back of her head over...and over...and over...

That was a lot like Tough Enough. We started off with the contestants giving their "confessional" interview to the camera. While they were doing this, Darryl was complaining about his cold. Remember this, because he mentioned the kid on the plane who gave him a fever about 72 times. It may have very well been little Jeffrey from Bill Cosby: Himself, but I digress.

The "wrestling hopefuls" first day of training was learning how to fall down. In other words, they had to unlearn all of their bodily safety precautions and fall flat on their back. Luckily they had trainers who each had their own unique approach to the training.

Al Snow, formerly Avatar and Leif Cassidy, explained the mechanics of what had to be done.

Tori took a more zenful approach and explained the whys of what they were doing. With the exception of scolding Chris, who has had some wrestling training, we barely saw her.

Then there was Jackie, or "Miss Jackie" as we were told call her. She yelled a lot.

And then there was Tazz... more on him later.

They trained, they worked out. They trained, they worked out. Two of the slowest kids in the class were Darryl (the sick one) and Victoria (the stunt woman). Victoria almost gave herself brain damage when, while she was supposed to be landing on her back, instead she repeatedly smacked the back of her head against the ring. That is a no-no. She cried, even though there is no crying... eh, you get the point. However she bumped into Stephanie McMahon, the boss’s daughter, who sympathized with her. They cried, they laughed, they went antiquing in Mystic. Okay, that last part isn't true, but it's where I thought they were headed.

This is where Tazz came in. He interrupted the students on their "day off" so that he could take them to the farm and watch them roll around in the mud. He even almost came to blows with Darryl, the sick one, who was turning a brisk walk into a funeral procession. There are two kinds of slow people in this world. There are the ones who may not get it at first, but they don't give up and they're usually the last ones to leave the class. In fact, most of the time they're the ones who outlast everyone else. The other kind never "gets it." Victoria is a lot like the first type. Sure she almost put herself into a coma, but she didn't give up. Darryl, the sick one, threw a hissy fit because he had to jog with the sniffles.

The Tazz exercise served two different purposes

1. To simulate the first ten years of a wrestler’s life... the training, the working conditions, the sleeping in cars, and of course the long travels just to earn ten bucks wrestling at a Knights of Columbus.

2. None of these people, absolutely NONE of them, understood what they were getting into and have no respect for the art of the sport. They don't respect the game. Tazz attempted to beat that respect into them.

Speaking of "respecting the game," they're sure as hell going to learn that respect next week when "The Game" Triple H stops in for a guest cameo.


John Brodigan is the Editor-in-Chief for Wrestling Bytes. For more great articles on wrestling, make sure you check it out!

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