Last year, Big Brother was boring. This year, in an attempt to spice things up, they've added more chances for nudity and sex, but also better chances that there will be some interesting conflict. Take a look at these predictions for what might spark some fights.
Before I provide my expert psychological analysis of the producer-designed Big Brother conflicts, I need to state that I can already tell that the show will basically suck anytime the producers are involved. Their one saving grace is that they purposely, and somewhat obviously, selected houseguests geared to conflict with each other. (They also chose very camera-friendly people, but this was a given.)
My first clue about their suckiness is that they actually took the time and very valuable website space to ask every houseguest what their favorite color is. Who cares? How could this possibly contribute to the dynamics of this show? And worse than this, they actually asked for everyone's least favorite color. I ask you, how many times in your entire life has anyone asked you or had a conversation about your least favorite color? Never?
If I were forced to answer that question, I'd say, just to annoy them as they have me, "That color of puke after eating a bunch of Doritos and drinking a six-pack of Mountain Dew."
Could they not think of a more insightful question? Thus is the reason for my expecting the show to suck. I can just imagine the questions they'll make Connie Chung ask during the live show. "Ok Krista - question for you. During that pillow fight, did you feel the others treated you unfairly as they kept the heavier feather pillows and tossed you the small accent pillow from the couch?" Or, "There appears to be an alliance forming. Some of you tend to be liberal when it comes to salt usage, while others often go without. Would anyone like to comment on this powerful, house-dividing trend?"
In case you haven't already explored the houseguests, you need to click over to my houseguest article, complete with bios and pictures. I took this from the official CBS website and added a few things to make it easier to get information. It will open up as a new page so you can quickly jump back and forth between this article and the bio page for pictures or whatever. (This houseguest article, should you read further, also contains expert psychological profiling of each of the houseguests. It might also include Babe status as I can't help but to write about such things.)
The Potential Conflicts: FOOD
Being that my alter-ego is a vegetarian, I often notice people's food choices first. Sheryl likes to eat baby cows more than any other food. Nicole's least favorite food is "Any meat" and favorite food is "Anything without a face or parent." Well, that veal sure had a parent; and this parent could very well be on Kent's plate as his favorite food is steak or Shannon's as hers is Prime Rib.
Krista's favorite food: Boiled Crawfish. (She's from Louisiana. 'Nuf said.) Justin's least favorite food: Fish
Autumn's favorite food: Pasta Will's least favorite food: Pasta. (And what the hell is Sashimi - his favorite food? This is an idiotic answer given only to impress the babes, as this is what his whole life seems to be about. You'll know what I mean when you read my houseguest profile. Will probably insists that he doesn't eat catsup, either.
I can already hear the philosophical debates brewing as a very opinionated-looking babe is not only a vegetarian but also the only chef, while everyone else listed some sort of meat as their favorite food (assuming Sashimi contains meat). Hopefully, she'll be one of those people who finds raw meat physically repulsive and can't separate the meat from the once living animal. This way, we'll see lots of vomiting and/or crying while Justin and Mike make fun of her.
Boy oh boy, all this conflict and we haven't even cooked a meal, yet.
The Potential Conflicts: ENTERTAINMENT
One of the things we often ask someone when we first meet them is what kind of music do they like and what kind of TV shows and movies do they watch. Well.
Justin's favorite movie: Dumb and Dumber Nicole's least favorite movie: Dumb and Dumber. (The significance of this didn't hit me until I thought about the sheer number of movies there are - hundreds of thousands of movies and somehow these two people chose this one. What fun!)
Mike's favorite TV Show: The Practice Sheryl's favorite TV Show: Family Law Nicole's favorite TV Show: The Practice Will's least favorite TV Show: Any court shows (because some lawyers actually make more money than doctors).
Autumn's hero: Madonna Hardy's least favorite band/singer: Madonna
Kent and Justin's least favorite band/singer: P. Diddy Mike's favorite music: Rap
Bunky's Hero and favorite sport: Professional Wrestling Everyone else: NOT Professional Wrestling
Will's favorite band/singer: Weezer Nicole's least favorite band: Weezer
Nicole and Will should be an interesting pair to watch. Nicole is the newlywed who also happens to look the most bitchy and most snooty of all the women. Will is a 28-year-old VERY GQ physician who very likely believes any and all women, including newly wed women who marry into wealth, want him. His favorite sport is "Watersports." (This tells me his parents have money and like to "go out on their boat" often.) Nicole comes across like she insisted on marrying into money, so her man surely has a boat also. Being a vegetarian, Nicole will surely promote pastas - Will's least favorite food. Also, since Will's favorite food is some exotic dish called Sashimi, I expect him to insist he's a more knowledgeable and better cook than she, whose occupation is Personal Chef. They'll argue about wine choices and correct seasonings. They hate each other's TV shows and choice in music.
I fully expect Will to be the reason Nicole questions her newlywed marriage since he's the only person she's ever known to be more of an asshole than her and now she wonders if she and he were meant to be.
The Potential Conflicts: POLITICS
Being that it takes a certain mindset to be on such a show, I am not expecting too many Republicans. However, I do see one definite, a likely, and a few non-Democrats.
Kent's Hero is Ronald Reagan and he's a mortgage broker, so we'll probably hear him say at least once that every single time taxes have been lowered, the economy improved and tax revenue increased (which is true). Kent is the definite Republican.
Sheryl's Hero is Dr. Laura. She's a likely republican since Dr. Laura is essentially against anything Democrat.
And the following three are probably a bit more capitalistic who feel as though they deserve to keep the money they earn and not waste it on government bureaucracy. Being that they are on this show, my guess is they are independents.
Shannon's Hero: Alan Greenspan Mike owns a bar and his favorite movie is Wall Street (although he could be saying this just to try and convince the babes that he makes enough money to play the stock market). Hardy, the Account Executive (a fancy word for salesman), very likely wishes businesses and individuals paid less taxes so the economy is better so they have more expendable income to buy whatever he's selling.
And here are the definite Democrats and why. Nicole's a vegetarian and so probably cares about the environment more than most. Her favorite magazine is the notoriously liberal Rolling Stone. Autumn's hero is Madonna and favorite magazine is People. Monica is from Brooklyn, NY and is the token African American. (Autumn might also be, but her background is probably mixed, hispanic, or whatever the hell else.)
My guess is that Will doesn't care too much about politics because it's below him. Justin is the jock, so he doesn't care that much either mainly because it just confuses him. Krista is probably a Democrat but her favorite band/singer is Bush. (Yeah, I know. Bad joke.) And Bunky, the token homosexual (my guess - I explain why in my houseguest article) is most likely Democrat, but he's also a technical writer so he may actually have some logic in his brain. So who knows about Bunky. Besides, his name is just too idiotic to even consider listening to him discuss politics.
The Potential Conflicts: PERSONAL
Bunky's least favorite color: orange. Hardy's favorite color: orange.
These two will be forced to room together and decorate. In fact, these two should be forced to do all kinds of things together because they both have ridiculous names.
Although fun at first, Mike, the bar owner, will eventually become so freaking annoying as he simply can never be serious about anything. He and Justin, the jock/Bartender, will get along great and give each other high fives and talk about the women's breasts constantly.
Kent will be the fatherly type but will eventually annoy everyone as he will refuse to let any Democrat views go unchecked.
Sheryl should be the motherly type but will try much too hard to keep up with the younger babes in the sexy department as she shows off her Florida tan and dresses improperly despite her conservative persona. The babes will tolerate her and talk about her an awful lot once the show is over.
Monica, the 40-year-old African-American, will rise to be the logical, opinionated-but-not-in-an-annoying-way, leader and common sense anchor to the whole infighting group. I say this because, and I am very serious, I believe the African-American woman to be the strongest, most impressive, most accomplished, most survive-under-pressure-and-against-the-odds persons in America. If you look at their demographic, the vast majority of them are single mothers who somehow support families and instill values (as much as they can) into the children without the help of the fathers. If you look at any business, any organization, and single out the African-American female, you are very likely under-appreciating this person's skills and abilities. I could go on but I think you get the point. And this has nothing to do with my very badly wanting to test the phrase, "Once you go black, you'll never turn back."
Will and Hardy are clearly the two GQ studmuffins. They'll play it cool as the women fawn over them. The asshole of the group is clearly Will. Expect everyone to eventually despise this person. Also expect Will and Hardy (yes, they sound like a comedy team - it's not just you) to make every effort to "win" Shannon, the only child-less single person in the group and arguably the most beautiful.
The women. Ah, yes. the women. Sheryl (43, news anchor looking) and Monica (40, token African-American, voice of reason) will, for the most part, not be involved in the bickering.
But then we have the others: Shannon (29, realtor/boat captain, single babe) Krista (28, divorced mother, waitress, southern beauty) Autumn (28, single mother, Accountant/Singer, almost exotic, babe) Nicole (31, newlywed, Personal Chef, snooty babe, expected bitch, over-plucks eyebrows)
All the women will instantly not like Nicole. Autumn has already stated in her audition tape that she plans on being a source of "major sexual tension and drama." I expect Autumn and Krista to most often and most obviously vie for attention - which is a good thing since they are both babes. All women will be jealous of Shannon as she exudes sexuality and almost availability.
I expect Shannon and Will to hit it off at first since they are arguably the most attractive and since she's a boat captain and Will's into watersports. However, as the show progresses, they will end up hating each other.
I also expect Justin and Mike to be the first to suggest skinny-dipping. The women will tolerate their constant overtures, and may even give in to some, but they will secretly wish to be with either Hardy or Will.
So, let's review the major expected conflicts. Food will be the first to rear its ugly head. I am expecting more than one main dish prepared for most meals until the bitchy vegetarian gets voted off.
Since there's so much non-agreement in the entertainment category, this is where we'll see the beginning of fake-nice acting. The women will start hating each other followed closely by the guys hitting on them. As they get to know each other better, politics and opinions on various things will arise, but it won't be until they really know each other before heated discussions take place.
I can see how several might be deeply religious but, unfortunately, none of the houseguests come across as Pagan or atheist. (Will might think he's God, though.) There might be a New Age fluffernutter, but she (it won't be a He) won't know enough - I mean really know enough - to influence the religious lemmings that they are basically lacking in Universal Understanding. So, there might be religious discussion, but nothing at all enlightening or controversial.
Unfortunately, everyone wants to win the $500,000 so most of them will take middle-of-the-road stances on the issues. In fact, as much as we'd like to see outright fighting, everyone will remain far too nice because they do not want to alienate the others as they will soon be voted off.
It's clear that the producers tried very hard to choose personalities who will conflict with each other. Hopefully they'll forget about the money and stand up for their beliefs and not be all that concerned with the whirring cameras following them everywhere. Hopefully, these producers will not intrude too much with the show. And hopefully, Julie Chen will have better questions to ask other than what their least favorite color is.
And you know, with all of these, I could be entirely wrong. In fact, I most likely am since I'm basically making predictions -- which I suck at doing (if you don't believe me, see some of my predictions vs. the Unbelievable Bloombergini). Just don't bet any money on what I say, OK?
So, from reading this and my New & Improved? articles, you now know what the show is going to be like. And you understand SOME of the conflicts inherent in the houseguest's personalities. Let's take a further look at each of these houseguests on an individual basis. Read my Big Brother Houseguest Manly Man Psychological Profiling article, where I provide in-depth psychological analyses for each of them in addition to an elaboration of each person's all-important babe status.