WWF Tough Enough, Episode 2: The First Chair Is Removed

Lousy stinkin’ internet fans.

There is a poll at www.wwftoughenough.com which asks “Who will be the toughest roommate to live with?” This time last week, the leader by a huge margin (no doubt due to the masses of people who read this column and agreed with me and checked out the WWF site) was Bobbie Jo. The same question is still on the site. The leader now? You guessed it. Darryl. You people, think you’re so smart, don’tcha?

We start the show with clips of our friends working out. Hey, you, with the towel on your head? Don’t let Tazz see you! (Sorry. It would take too long to explain and isn’t all that funny anyway.)

The thirteen walk into Trax training facility and are told to sit and stare straight ahead. Suddenly, Triple H walks in. Josh looks like he’s going to crap his pants.

Triple H (Michael Paul LeVesque) started his WWF career as the “snobby neighbor” of Vince McMahon, a none-too-subtle jab at Vince’s real life neighbors who didn’t like the idea of a wrestling promoter living around them. After this rocky start, Trip has steadily improved from the guy with four moves, all involving the knee, to one of the top wrestlers in the WWF. Now known as The Game (or as Trip would say, The Game-uh), he always claims he is ‘that damn good.’ He ‘married’ Stephanie McMahon (the real-life daughter of owner Vince, she’s been in the first two episodes of Tough Enough) in a storyline too stupid and convoluted to go into here. Suffice it to say, many wrestling fans (including me) consider him to be among the best wrestlers in the sport today.

Trip carries a water bottle to the ring, and Maria wonders aloud if he’s going to spray water on everyone. Another inside joke. Watch the WWF sometime, you might get one of those. He asks Darryl if he’s been hurt and shockingly, Darryl fails to complain about his cold. They pile into the ring, and Trip asks to see a few of them take a bump. Apparently, one of Darryl’s ‘boys’ is out for a little air today. Oops. That’s gotta be embarrassing, hangin’ brain in front of a bad-ass WWF Superstar like that.

Trip starts talking about how they don’t just fight, they tell a story with their bodies (the speech is emphasized by clips of Triple H’s match with my hero and savior, Chris Benoit). He has Greg “punch” Jason. Of course, it doesn’t actually land, but it comes close enough, and combined with Jason’s reaction, you’re convinced that Greg really just popped him in the jaw. Trip asks Greg to punch HIM. He grabs Greg by the hair and punches the top of his head, knocking him down. Trip is impressed.

He asks various contestants why they are doing this. Bobbie Jo lies through her teeth, claiming she wanted the challenge. Maven likes the physicality and wants the fame. Trip sums it up; “So you wanna get laid, is that it?” Yeah, Trip, with your ‘wife.’

Triple H gives a speech about respect. They spend 200+ days per year on the road. They don’t see their wives, husbands, or kids for weeks. You get home, tired and beat up, and you still have to be wife, husband, dad, or mom. You have to EARN your spot. These guys have been given a huge opportunity. DON’T (foul) it up.

You throw this opportunity away, you piss on every man and woman who earned their spot. You piss on every old timer who can barely walk. You piss on Darren Drozdov, who is paralyzed from the neck down after a missed move. You either want this, or you don’t. If you don’t want it, Triple H says, don’t waste the WWF’s (freakin) time.

Greg is impressed. He just met his idol and his idol complimented him on his skills. Darryl wasn’t impressed. I’m sure the feeling is mutual, Darryl. Greg points out in the confessional that the speech was about respect, and the second Trip left, Darryl started clowning around. Darryl claims he was only trying to lighten them up. He put Victoria in a playful headlock because he knew her head hurt. Brilliant move, Sherlock. Why don’t you kick Paulina in her bad knee? That’d be a REAL riot.

Jason has been out of it ever since Triple H’s lecture. It seems to have really affected him. Jason, remember, is our lovebird, who is gaga over his new girlfriend. He’s mostly been keeping to himself, and Nidia thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to seem attractive to the other girls.

Big John takes them out for a night on the town. Doesn’t seem to be a hell of a lot of training going on this week. Of course, Bobbie Jo isn’t ready. She’s taking two hours to fix herself up and her hair still looks like week-old roadkill. Note to women: Dressing up nice is fine for church and special occasions, but it’s unnecessary most of the time and only pisses us off. If we love you, you’ll look beautiful to us no matter what. I don’t have this problem, though, because Maria is usually ready before I am and is still a knockout.

They go out to a club. Yep, she sure dances like a stripper. By the way, I know I have a problem with Bobbie Jo. It’s not due to any particular reason; I just can’t stand that pretty girl cheerleader airhead type. Of all the women in the house, Bobbie Jo would be my dead last choice to do anything. Greg’s too, apparently. He’s complaining that she shouldn’t even be there. Victoria doesn’t like her either. She thinks she’s an airhead. So I’m not the only one. (Indeed, our other WWF Tough Enough reviewer has the same opinion.)

Greg mentions something to Taylor that I picked up on in the first episode. He originally wasn’t picked, and that pisses him off. He wants to prove to those who cut him that it was a mistake. He doesn’t say it quite as nicely, of course, but I’ve used enough coarse language already.

Chris (the pretty boy) is in the hot tub with Nidia. Maria claims that she didn’t like Chris, she really liked Greg. Whatever, I’m beginning to hope Greg makes it myself. Chris plays the hurt little puppy dog, claiming that he’s been hurt by women in the past. Geez, man, that’s the oldest trick in the book and you’re trying it on a stripper, who hears that crap all the time?! That’s just plain lame.

Jason, meanwhile, is on the phone with his Mom. He admits he started packing last night and stopped halfway through. His Mom is as shocked as I am. It’s pretty obvious that this is tearing him up.

Back to Chris and Nidia (this IS MTV, after all). Chris tries to horse around and Nidia doesn’t want to. He tries to dunk her and she screams NO! He dunks her anyway. Bad move, pal. Nidia climbs out of the tub, and confesses that she needs to distance herself from Chris a little.

The next morning, we see a shot of our friends sleeping. The camera lingers on a shot of a wad of Kleenex next to Josh’s bed. I wonder what they’re implying there? Maybe he caught Darryl’s cold?

Jason is still torn. He really wants to do this, but he can’t imagine going without family for 200 days out of the year. Family is the most important thing in the world to him. Meanwhile, Nidia is all over the other Chris (Harvard Boy). Dang, girlfriend, the body isn’t even cold yet! Chris shoots her a nasty look out of the corner of his eye. Funny stuff.

John Gabruick comes in, and Jason needs to talk. John agrees with Triple H, it’s a tough life. Jason says that Triple H told them if they don’t want to live the life, don’t waste our time. Jason doesn’t want to live the life. They shake hands, and Jason packs his bags. He says he’s not giving up physically, but he knows he wouldn’t be able to accept the contract if he won. So he’s leaving. WOW.

Before the episode started, I wouldn’t have picked Jason at all. In fact, I would have bet that he would have been one of the last ones. You’ve got to have your priorities straight, and he is putting his family above his dream of becoming a wrestler. I’ve got to give him all the credit in the world. In a world where fathers leave their wife and kids to fail miserably at becoming a rock star, it’s nice to know that some people know what’s important to them, and they’re willing to stick by that. Mammoth props to Jason.

Reactions from the other contestants: Harvard Chris understands. He doesn’t necessarily agree, but he understands. Darryl is happy because his chances have increased. At this point, there would have to be a car wreck for Darryl to last the rest of July, I’m thinking. Paulina wonders if Jason couldn’t do it, does she deserve to be there?

Jason leaves us with a quote: “I chased my dreams, then I got there and realized that it was just a dream.”

At Trax, Al removes Jason’s chair and says, “I guess this is our weekly ritual.” It’s not exactly “the tribe has spoken” or “You are the weakest link” but at least I won’t have to hear it eighty billion times in the next two weeks, either, so I suppose that’s a good thing.

NEXT WEEK! Trainees at RAW! Al’s yelling at Darryl! Bobbie Jo whines! Tazz wants to weed out the crap! Nidia cries! Paulina…doesn’t want something. She got cut off. Oh well.

Thoughts on the roster so far: Nobody is standing out yet, except for perhaps Victoria since she struggled so hard in the beginning and never quit. Darryl is standing out, but in a very bad way. Based on what I’ve seen so far, my favorite is still Josh, followed closely by Greg (the story of how he was cut and got in as a reserve is too good). For the women, I like Victoria still, mainly for her take-no-prisoners attitude. But if there’s anything that this week’s show has taught us, it’s that the only thing that’s for sure about Tough Enough is…nothin’s for sure.

Email me at mikmaria@swbell.net and tell me where I stole that quote from. Here’s a hint: it’s wrestling related. I also haven’t gotten much email from Bobbie Jo supporters either. But I’m thinking she likes herself enough, she doesn’t need any help. See you next week!

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