Big Brother 2, Episode 7: Without Surprises, Sex Sells
by David Bloomberg
Let's face it, the result of the eviction vote was not exactly a surprise. But at least CBS had a backup plan: Sex. Specifically, Shannon and Will, plus a special appearance by Shannon's (ex-?)boyfriend. And at least the result of the Head of Household competition was a surprise, though the next nominations won't be.
The Big Brother 2 producers and Julie Chen tried to add some suspense. But it just was not to be. Everybody knew the outcome. Even though I thought Chill Town (Mike, Shannon, and Will) might try to pull a fast one and get Kent voted out instead of Autumn, it seemed pretty unlikely. And when we were shown the first three votes – of Hardy, Monica, and Bunky – voting against Autumn, I knew right away that the other four had as well. After all, if Nicole had cast her pity vote against Kent, they would have shown it to make it seem closer. If Chill Town had voted against Kent, they would have shown something to make it seem close. The fact that they showed nothing spoke volumes.
Of course, the reasons that all seven voted against Autumn were different. The “Real People” (everybody but Chill Town) voted against her for her own good. She was coming apart and it was obvious she couldn’t take it much longer – even though she claimed she could. Chill Town pretty much did it because they didn’t like her.
So it was no surprise. The only pseudo-surprise was the way she left – no hugs, no goodbyes, just Autumn getting up and saying, “You don’t need to walk me to the door. Please don’t.” She later told Chen that she had said goodbye to everybody who mattered earlier – it wasn’t even a surprise to her.
Quickly going back in time to just before the unsurprising results of the eviction vote were announced, Chen asked both Kent and Autumn for their thoughts. Kent said the house was like society under a microscope – there is love, compassion, and honesty, but also anger, hurtfulness, vanity, greed, and deceit. He said if he has to be like the latter people to win, he’d rather go home. He saluted those who have carried themselves with grace and dignity, and to the others he says that if they didn’t vote him out, “your ass is mine.” Well, I’m sure that endeared him to Mike, Shannon, and Will even more than before.
Autumn said she came in thinking that being a warm and caring person were good assets, but found that this wasn’t the case here. She said she thought she had friends and even a roommate who was close to her, but now they were working to throw her out. Talking to Chen later, she said that was Hardy, who she says took it on himself to decide that a single mother should be home with her son, and therefore told everybody else this. Somehow, Autumn, I really don’t think it would have mattered.
But CBS still had to keep our attention for an hour. Without a surprise, what could they do? Well, as we’ve seen already in the show, when in doubt, go for the sex. So they did a segment on the Will/Shannon “romance” (I put it in quotes because one has to have emotions in order for it to be romance – and I’m pretty sure Will is completely lacking in that department).
They showed the two of them as they got closer and closer, eventually showing Shannon under the covers saying, “I can’t wait for you to make love to me.” Why wait? Just ‘cus you’re on camera 24/7? Wimp. They also showed the two of them in the shower together, moving around under the covers (such as in the above picture, originally posted at The Clubhouse), etc.
But wait, didn’t Shannon have a boyfriend, Jim? Why, yes, she did. “Did” is the operative word here. So BB2 put Jim on camera – human drama mixed with sex! It’s like an episode of Jerry Springer.
Jim said they’d been dating for over 16 months. He’s apparently trying to kid himself into thinking she is just using what God gave her to win the game. Yeah, that’s it, Jim. She’s not a heartless bitch who is making a fool out of you on national television – she’s just a good player. I’ve got a bridge I’d like to sell you. What’s that? Oh, you say you’ve got one already. I’m not surprised.
They also showed Will in the Diary Room talking about how Shannon’s boyfriend is out of the picture. Jim – Mr. Tough Guy – responded that Will should come and say that to his face, and he’d better bring Hardy to protect him (somehow I doubt Hardy would be interested in filling that role). Ooooh, I’m impressed.
In any event, Jim did say that he deserves an explanation from Shannon for her comments about Will and her relationship with him (I'm thinking it will take more than a bouquet of flowers and an "I'm sorry" from her). But he loves her and he’s supporting her. Good for you – your family must be so proud that you went on national television to show how pathetic you are. Oh, wait, maybe I’d better not say that or he might read it and threaten to beat me up, too.
As is the usual routine (except when somebody’s being expelled for holding a knife to another contestant’s throat), the eviction was followed by a new Head of Household (HoH) contest. Chill Town had to hope to win this one in order to get rid of another one of the Real People and make the game more balanced. The contest was made up of questions about only the remaining nine players, and all involved a number between zero and nine. They were asked a question and revealed their answers at the same time. The questions were:
How many of the remaining houseguests have birthdays in July? (2: Krista and Mike; surprisingly, at least two people said there were no July birthdays – this after Krista and Mike got to have a special birthday dinner! Will, Kent, and Bunky were out.)
If all of the remaining players sat around the dining room table, how many empty seats would there be? (3: From Justin, Sheryl, and Autumn. Monica got it wrong.)
How many of the remaining contestants weighed in over 150 pounds at the previous food contest? (5: All the guys, none of the girls. Nicole is out.)
How many of the remaining houseguests have children or step-children? (3. All stayed in.)
How many of the remaining players have earned their high school degree? (All 9. Mike is out – it’s down to Shannon vs. Hardy.)
How many of the remaining contestants are shorter than 63 inches? (0. Both got it wrong, neither was very good at math. But they remain in since they’re the final two.)
How many of the remaining people have N in the name engraved on their key? (5: Nicole, Shannon, Bunky, Kent, Monica. Both got it wrong. Again, not very good at math – or spelling.)
So they went to a final tie-breaker. They were given paper and marker and told that the answer would again be a number. The closest one to that number, without going over, would win (if both went over, the closer one would still win). The question: What is the total age in years of all the remaining houseguests? Shannon said 241. Hardy said 290. The answer was over 300 – Hardy wins! Chill Town loses!
And when I say Chill Town loses, I don’t just mean the HoH competition. Hardy has made no secret of his dislike for those folks, and I predict he will simply put up Shannon vs. Will, knowing that one of them will have to go (probably Will). I don’t foresee any surprises here, which kind of brings us full circle to how this episode started.