Jerri in Playboy: Outer Beauty, Inner B****

Of all the female Survivor contestants I would have least liked to see naked, Jerri ranks only behind Sonja and Mad Dog. So it didn’t really thrill me to hear that she would be posing for Playboy. Nor did it surprise me that Jerri would take practically the only option open to her after her personality was shown for all the world to see on Survivor 2.

Still, as a duty to my readers, I went out and bought a copy of this issue. I do have to admit that she has a nice body and comes across well in the photos. I can’t do a description like the Manly Man did for Amber, but I can say that she certainly looks, um, excited. Well, either that or cold. And she definitely is sexy. The only problem is that she’s, well, Jerri.

We often hear about how we should look past a person’s appearance and see their inner beauty. With Jerri, though, it’s exactly the opposite. No matter how good looking she might be, even without her clothes on, I can’t help but see her inner bitch (which is made easier because it so frequently becomes her outer bitch). Even in the article that runs with her photos, any possible beauty is obscured by her quotes and thoughts, which accompany the pictures.

But the article begins with Jerri talking about how “bitch” has such a negative connotation and she wishes there were some other word for “an aggressive, proactive, independent woman.” She adds, “If I were a man on the show, I’d be a hero.” No. Instead of being a bitch, you’d have been an ass or a jerk or any one of many other insults that could have been used. That’s about the only difference. And as far as creating a new word, all of those words that you used already work quite well. They just don’t happen to apply to you.

As if to justify her treatment of Keith, she says that he gave her a big hug and said he’d be dedicating his next cookbook, Yes, I Can Cook Rice, to her. Oh, well, then your actions toward him were all okay, right? And while the article briefly mentions her false accusations against Kel, she apparently can’t even come up with an excuse for that particular slander.

Poor Jerri shares with us that she felt very lonely in Survivor. Hmmm. Do ya think that might have something to do with you making everybody hate you? Nah. Couldn’t be.

We are told she is “looking for her equal” in a man. She says, “Any man who is afraid of what he saw on Survivor is not a man I want to be with.” Afraid? People are not afraid of fingernails scratching down a chalkboard – they just can't stand it. Similarly, you have nothing to worry about because any man who saw you on Survivor would almost certainly not want to be with you. If you are really looking for your equal, check out Mike or Will from Big Brother 2. Like you, both think the world revolves around them. Like you, they seem pretty much oblivious to the feelings of others.

She has supposedly moved on from her bartending into full-time acting because of her Survivor fame. Yeah, well, we’ll see how long that lasts. She says she posed for Playboy to show her strength as a woman and to take a stand. A stand for what? Naked bitches everywhere? Oh, wait, she adds that it’s because people are threatened by women with power and more women should strive for it instead of being afraid of it. I don’t know about that, but I do know that Jerri is not a woman with power. Being on a game show does not give you power. She is a woman with a nasty attitude. She is a woman with severe social interaction problems. And, yes, she is a woman with a nice body.

But people are not “threatened” by her. We just plain don’t like her. And no amount of spinning reality or nice photos of her nude in provocative positions will change that.

Want to be prepared for the next Survivor contestant who takes her clothes off? Order Playboy at MagazineCity for a great price!

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