Big Brother 2, The Final Episode: Snake Vs. Rat Redux

In a replay of the first Survivor, we again have the snake and the rat – Rich and Kelly. Except this time their names are Will and Nicole and the game is Big Brother 2. Nonetheless, the outcome was the same.

In the first Survivor, all those involved were reality show virgins. Indeed, that was one reason Rich Hatch was so easily able to pick them off, one by one. On BB2, they were not. Indeed, many of them came with the goal of getting fame and fortune. But they also knew that they were playing a game. That was something that often seemed forgotten on the first Survivor.

So when the final episode of Survivor 1 drew near, I had wanted Rich to win – because I felt he’d played the best game – but I didn’t think he would. Indeed, I wrote an article for the newspaper, which would appear the morning following that final show. In it, I didn’t state specifically who would win, but I did say that Rich had lost. I was that certain. Thank goodness for editors who work into the night to make sure foolish statements like that don’t make it into the next day’s paper!

The vote on Survivor was close, but in the end it came down to loyalty and who played the game better. Rich won.

The same happened on Big Brother 2, except it was clear to pretty much everyone that Will would win (except perhaps The Unbelievable Bloombergini – and he has told me that he purposely threw that round of predictions for fear that the Manly Man would never invite him to do another one if he plastered the guy again). Why? Because they once again had a choice of the snake – the self-admitted liar – or the rat (perhaps “bitch” is a better term here, as Bunky had said). And once again, loyalty and game play were the deciding factors. Chill Town stayed loyal to Will, even though he made some of them cringe with his final speech (more on that later). Non-Chill Town evictees voted for Will because he played the game so well.

So Will walked away with half a million dollars. Who ever would have believed it could end this way?

But Will wasn’t the only person who walked away with a prize. Nicole obviously won $50,000 – not bad for three months’ work. And Mike walked away with Krista’s hand in marriage. OK, so that really isn’t much of a prize as far as I’m concerned, but he seemed happy. And she won’t have to go back to being a waitress in Louisiana – she can be one in Los Angeles instead.

But that was the ending; let’s go back to the beginning of the final episode. Julie Chen once again began by noting that all three of the houseguests who were in at the time had been informed of what happened on September 11. Why did they mention this again, since they just talked about it on Tuesday? I’m guessing they were feeling a little defensive after it was revealed that they hadn’t told them very much at first, and took a while to do so. As we saw on this site alone, there was quite an outcry from fans. Even Kent wrote an article for us, though his opinion ran counter to most others.

After that, we were treated to a quick retrospective of how Will and Nicole got to where they were sitting – the final two. Some of the most memorable lines were repeated, such as Will stating, “I consider lying a sport,” and Nicole with “I always get along with everybody.”

Then we went to the nine ex-houseguests, all sitting around chatting and once again getting on each others’ nerves. Mike again felt it necessary to defend Chill Town, saying they were just friends, not an alliance (to which the others responded, essentially, “bullshit.” It once again reminded me of just why I think Mike is an ass. Shannon also shot her mouth off enough for Bunky to point out that this was why he didn’t want her in the house – she is just not a nice person. But, hey, she picked the right horse to ride in Will – at least until the $500,000 runs out. Hardy made a big deal of acting like Nicole had played him for a sucker, and a lot of folks who heard things on the live feed wondered what that was all about. We later found that he was still playing the game, trying to get Will to believe that he wouldn’t vote for Nicole, therefore meaning that perhaps Will wouldn’t negate Hardy’s vote. That much worked, but it also drove Nicole crazy. Krista chimed in that neither should win. Oh, yeah, like you’re one to judge that.

Kent won the quote of the night award when he said that picking between Nicole and Will was like deciding between an ingrown toenail and a rash. Oh, and Krista added that she didn’t like Nicole’s values. Excuse me? Krista is judging somebody else’s values?! Krista wins the hypocrite of the summer award for that and all the other idiotic things she’s said.

Each evictee got to ask the finalists one question. Some were pointless, and I won’t bother to repeat them here. Others were interesting or amusing. Shannon asked Nicole if Chill Town was more evil than her. Um, yes. This reminded me of Jerri on Survivor 2 trying to make Tina and Colby feel guilty about “betraying” her. In fact, there’s a lot about Shannon that reminds me of Jerri. The word “bitch” certainly comes to mind in both cases. I wonder when we’ll see Shannon in Playboy, following in Jerri’s footsteps. She asked Will where he saw himself in six months, and he answered correctly, saying he saw himself with her, painting the master bedroom at a cute beach house.

In probably the strangest question, Krista asked Nicole what god she believes in. What the hell does that have to do with anything? You’re going to vote based on religion? If you are, what religious beliefs are you adhering to? I don’t recall too many religions that encourage drunken trysts with various men who happen to be around at any given time, among other things. For what it’s worth, Nicole answered that she believes in making your own destiny, though she does believe in a higher power, the soul. Krista nodded as if this told her something. Beats me what it was.

Bunky asked Will how much he’d give to charity if he won. Will answered honestly that it would be “none.” Hardy quoted something Krista had said to Will as if Nicole had said it – the bit about telling Will to vote the way Shannon would want him to (Krista told him this when she said he should replace Hardy in their final three team – which she later denied she ever said, incidentally). Nicole was understandably flabbergasted. As I noted earlier, this was part of the plan to throw off Will, but it really threw Nicole for a loop. Monica asked a confused question as well (though it’s rather less surprising coming from her) when she asked Nicole about the banner from Jeff (Nicole’s husband) that said to get rid of Will. Nicole corrected Monica by pointing out that the banner did not say to get rid of Will, but to torture him.

Following the questions, Nicole and Will got to make their final speeches. Nicole’s was pretty much what we would expect. She tried to be truthful. She made mistakes. She’s only human. Etc. Will, though, harkened back to his original arrogant ass days and gave a bizarre speech that basically said if a person didn’t like Will, they really didn’t like reality TV, which meant they didn’t like themselves. So they need to learn to love one another and get along.

Everybody was pretty shocked by this idiotic speech. Even Shannon asked who the heck he was to say things like that – she called him cocky and rude. Kent suggested he hurt his chances, but, as far as I could tell, it didn’t actually end up changing any votes.

Julie Chen then talked live to all the evictees, and asked inane questions – most of which had already been answered in the previous episode. The only one of interest was when Chen asked Mike and Krista where their relationship would lead, and Mike responded by pulling out a ring and getting down on one knee to propose to her. Her first response was, “Oh my God.” When Mike pressed for a yes or no answer, she answered “yes.” Maybe I’m just sick, but I think it would have been the funniest moment of the show if she’d said “no.” Later, when they forgot we could still hear them, Mike apologized to her and said, “Sorry to spring that on you, but I had to do it.” Had to? Why? Alas, we didn’t get an explanation for that. If they actually make it to marriage, I give it less than a year. Who knows, though, maybe they’ll be happy together. Stranger things have happened.

Before the votes were revealed live, Nicole and Will each got to negate one voter (without knowing who they had voted for). Will chose to negate Bunky because he was the only honest person in the house and Will felt he would vote for Nicole. He was right. Nicole, unsurprisingly, negated Shannon’s vote, which was, of course, for Will.

So then the votes came. The producers set it up so they called people in an order that would create the longest wait. First Autumn voted for Nicole. Then Krista voted for Will, suggesting that he would “make amends” for what he did. Hmmm. Looking for a hefty wedding present, is she? I really would like to see if the BB2 contracts forbid prize sharing like the Survivor ones do. Hardy voted for Nicole. Mike voted for his Chill Town pal, Will. And then there were no more votes for Nicole. Kent, Sheryl, and Monica all voted for Will, and he won with five votes to two for Nicole.

After all the hugging and congratulations, Chen again talked to Will and Nicole. Will claimed to be pretty surprised he’d won, but Nicole knew from the “berating” questions of Tuesday that she had lost. Will said he plans to pretty much just waste the money, but Nicole insisted she wasn’t mad, because he played the game better than she did.

To close out, Chen asked if we saw the real Nicole and Will in the house. Nicole said she realized after the first week that Real Nicole could not stay. She said this was one of the reasons she was almost never in a good mood – because she had to constantly be somebody who was not her. Will said he pretty much is like this in real life, just at a lower level. When asked about his favorite lies, he said he really liked the one about being kicked out of the Air Force Academy, the one about being arrested for beating up Goofy at Disneyland, and the one about killing somebody with a piano wire. You know, most people make up lies to make themselves look better, not worse. Ah well, who am I to criticize him for it? He just won half a million dollars.

So congratulations go out to Will – he came in with a bizarre strategy and it actually worked for him. The snake won again. And the viewers won with a more interesting Big Brother show than last time, though one might say it was a bit too interesting with some of these – as Kent called them – freaks. Hopefully, if CBS has another run of this show next year, they’ll do a little better job in their background checks so we don’t end up with any more Justins. I could also do without the Mikes and Shannons and Kristas of the world, but I suspect without them, the show just wouldn’t have been as interesting.

I’d like to take this opportunity to wish all the best to Sheryl, who will be having a mastectomy soon (from Chen’s comments, it sounds like it will be October 1). Bunky announced that he has formed a charity, but when I tried to get to it on the Web, I couldn’t find anything. If I get more news on that, I’ll post it. In any event, he is going through 100 cities in 100 days to help raise money for it, so I wish him luck in that endeavor. With these thoughts, it’s time to end the episode summaries for Big Brother 2. Check back for further commentaries and be sure to take a look at The Ultimate (Unofficial) Big Brother 2 Reference Guide!

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