Let's take a look at the rest of the Tough Enough contestants one last time, as I make some fearless predictions and try to one-up The Unbelievable Bloombergini (which really shouldn't be all that hard!).
Before I begin, I want to take a moment to address some information in my previous episode recap which Jeff, a reader of mine, alerted me to. I incorrectly gave Ivory’s real name as Tina Moretti. Her first name is actually Lisa. She went as Tina Ferrari in the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling promotion, which is where the confusion came in. Jeff also questioned her relation to one of the Moondogs. I don’t know for sure, but I got my information from another website. I’m not going to argue either way.
With that out of the way, let me welcome you once again to the Third (and final) Quarterly Report on WWF Tough Enough. For those who haven’t already, make sure to check out Dale Sherman’s parody article on the Tough Enough Casting Special. It definitely had me rolling.
I never made it clear in my columns, but the WWF has officially announced Tough Enough 2. They haven’t announced an airdate, but they are currently accepting applications. Be assured that as long as Tough Enough is on the air, I will be here to fill your recap needs.
Finally, I have had a couple people question if I would be doing a review of the Tough Enough Soundtrack. In a word, no. I have no desire to hear any more of the insipid migraine-inducing music which, next to Darryl, has been the most contemptible thing about this fine show. But for those wanting my opinion, based on what I’ve already heard, here is my review: “CRAP.”
There has only been one contestant to leave the show since my last Quarterly Report, oh so long ago:
Chris: I think I’ve said all there is to say about Chris. It’s an abomination that he stayed as long as he did, and if the show had sliding prize money like Survivor, I would have been more upset that he finished as high as he did. As it was, he ranks right there with Darryl and Shadrick in ability.
For the rest of the article, I’m going to do something a little different. I’m going to put in my initial thoughts of the five remaining contestants, then point out reasons why each should and shouldn’t win. Then, I’ll give my predictions.
Ladies first:
Nidia:
Initial Thoughts: “She’s got a strong personality, I can see her getting into it with a LOT of people. She will be the breakout star of the show.”
Should Win Because: I predicted her strong personality. What I didn’t see was her heart, her drive, and her determination. She’s incredibly self-confident, and it’s obvious that this is something she wants. Plus, she’s got that natural ‘cuteness’ and a killer body. Hey, I know it’s sexist but you know part of the reason for the swimsuits was so we could check out their figures.
Shouldn’t Win Because: She’s the less athletic of the two women.
My Thoughts: Nidia will probably finish second, simply judging from the editing of the show. If there’s one thing the WWF doesn’t have enough of, it’s good-looking women who can wrestle. So it would definitely be in their best interest to sign both women, assuming of course that they give women a larger role on the shows.
Taylor:
Initial Thoughts: “My personal favorite of the women. I’m not sure why, she just seems to have that ‘something.’” (Good call!)
Should Win Because: She has the most desire of everyone, if only to get out of her ‘bad situation’ and prove her parents wrong. She’s obviously well-liked by Al and Jackie. She’s very beautiful, and has many internet writers smitten. She seems like a natural.
Shouldn’t Win Because: Umm…Nidia’s got a better body? (see above)
My Thoughts: I honestly don’t feel like there’s any doubt here. In my mind, either can win and without the other, either WOULD win handily. Plus, I’m almost rooting for her just so she can shove it in her parents’ faces.
And now, the men:
Harvard Chris:
Initial Thoughts: “He seems to have everything together; brains, body, charisma. If I had to make a bet, he’d be my horse.”
Should Win Because: See above. He’s got the size and ability.
Shouldn’t Win Because: He’s an arrogant ass, he’s clumsy, he’s a bully. He’s immature and condescending, while being a kiss-ass. Should I go on?
My Thoughts: He might make a good wrestler, but he would be a waste of time because he wouldn’t fit into the backstage atmosphere of the WWF locker room. In a sport where politeness and consideration are absolute MUSTS, he shows almost none. I will be very disappointed if he wins.
Josh:
Initial Thoughts: “The little guy that could. He’s still my favorite and I’ll be rooting for him to win.”
Should Win Because: I want him to. He has proven with every challenge that it’s not just passion, he’s got the physicality to back it up. He’s proven that he’s got what it takes to make it.
Shouldn’t Win Because: As was pointed out to me this week, there are a lot of small guys in the WWF right now (Crash Holly, “Hurricane” Helms, the Hardys) with all the ability in the world. You’ve got to be Chris Benoit-level (and many consider Benoit to be THE best wrestler in the World) to break through if you’re under six foot. Apparently from years of being told he’s too short, his self confidence can leave something to be desired at times.
My Thoughts: Josh has got “it.” From what we’ve seen, he’s got the potential to be as good as he wants to be. Like Nidia, he had the unfortunate luck to be going against someone like Maven. He’ll finish second, and something tells me he’ll make it one way or another.
Maven:
Initial Thoughts: “Everyone is impressed by his charisma, but I find him rather bland.” Oops.
Should Win Because: He’s got a natural look and charisma. From what we hear on the show, he seems to have had little if any problem learning. He’s athletic and strong, with the size, speed, determination, sense of humor. If my email tells me anything, just about every woman in the world is in love with him. From everything we’ve seen, he seems to be a hell of a nice guy besides. He probably irons his own clothes and knows how to cook, for that matter.
Shouldn’t Win Because: Anyone? Anyone? I sure as hell can’t think of anything.
My Thoughts: The WWF would be foolish to let Maven get away. He’s the perfect Superstar.
For the curious, the poll at www.wwftoughenough.com has Maven leading with 51%, Josh in second with 39%, and Chris as the hind end with 10%. Just as it should be.
In closing, I want to list my three favorite moments of the series (at least this is before Tazz beats the crap out of Chris next episode:
3. Al snapping and almost ripping Little Chris’ arm off. (Episode 9)
2. Josh pissing off a drunk Harvard Chris in the Bahamas. (Episode 6)
And #1: “The Bread Incident” between Maven and the always-good-for-a-laugh Darryl. (Episode 4)
Let me know your favorite Tough Enough moment at mikmaria@swbell.net. I’ll see you Thursday for the one-hour finale, and possibly a surprise or two.
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3. Al snapping and almost ripping Little Chris’ arm off. (
2. Josh pissing off a drunk Harvard Chris in the Bahamas. (
And #1: “The Bread Incident” between Maven and the always-good-for-a-laugh Darryl. (