America’s Next Top Model 18, Episode 3: “I Want to Go Home!”

With last week’s recap fresh in our minds, our episode opens with Laura, the winning model from last week, opening up her Team USA prize for winning “Best Photo.” Team USA excitedly show off their new clothes as the Brits’ jealousy level rises… Great scenario for drama, right?

The Brits decide to play a prank on the Americans, stemming from their insane levels of nationalism. The prank? Throwing balls of paper at the American girls while they are sleeping… That sure sounds ambitious. Unfortunately, not all the girls take it in good fun. [Insert the rage of Seymone here.] Seymone’s rage continues as she cusses out the UK competitors. Wow. Catfights never cease to entertain me.

We’re now given slight insight into Alisha’s life, as she talks about her childhood and growing up in, what we call, “The ghetto.” Alisha wants to win, just as every other model does. However, I must say, it is nice to hear the heart and story behind these models.

The mansion’s front door opens and in walks Tyra! Forget Tyra Mail, give us the real thing. Tyra asks for a tour and wants each model to strut her stuff. After the slight tour, Tyra now spends a few minutes talking about her life as a super model. (Remember, it’s all about her.) Apparently, Tyra decided super models have super powers and in her “Model Land” book such models are called “Intoxibellas.” Whadda-whadda-hootie? Figuring out what she means by this should be interesting…

Tyra’s male models, “The Testosteros,” walk out to hand all the female models capes, as each model is given a super power along with a new super hero name. Sophie is now named “Illuminata,” Alisha gets “Gam-a-Tronica” for her amazing legs. Louise is now “Chameeleoné,” Catherine is “Era-Descent”because she can embody so many different times. Going on, Ashley is “Charismia,” “Annaliese is “Excite-to-Buy,”and Azmarie is “Andro-Genia.” Laura is now “Zagilicious” because she zags when others zig. Uh huh., And Seymone is “Fiercely Real,” while Kyle is “Next-Doorsia,” Candace is now named “Exotica.” Lastly, Eboni is now re-christened “30-never.”

So, what will these models do now that their names are “super-fied”? Tyra goes into a short monologue and tells the models about their personal brand, accounting, field management, adver- Wait. Is this an economics class?

The models then leave to meet with Kelly Cutrone to learn about their challenge. Kelly tells the models they have to not only model, but also create an ad campaign, teaching them all facets of the industry. Their client for this challenge is very.com. Although this challenge is a team challenge, each girl will shoot individually. Each team has to fill the following positions for their team: leader, wardrobe, hair & make-up, props, and casting (for a male model). How can the girls do all this? Well, it’s simple! Use a Virgin mobile phone, as endorsed by Kelly Cutrone.

The teams split up and the work begins. Annaliese is chosen as the UK leader, with AzMarieup for the US. Kelly puts the fear inside all these contestants, saying Annaliese is very disorganized and could potentially send her team off a bad road.

The teams continue working on their shoot themes. Louise can’t believe how rude and to the point Kelly is. The prop store is like heaven for Alisha, and she almost can’t handle herself. While shopping, the US Team gets a hold of Leader AzMarie to talk about their theme for the photo shoot. AzMarie tells the models (and viewers) they are going for a “Punk Love” theme (very similar to AzMarie, if I do say so myself), contrasting the retro ‘60s style the UK team is selling.

Up next, it’s time for the female models to choose their singular male model for the ad campaign. Candace takes over for her team, acting as a drill sergeant in picking their model. Luckily, the Virgin Mobile phones have great service so they can send pictures of their prospective models to the girls back at the warehouse.

More decisions are made as Kelly gives AzMariea critique like none other, bringing her back to Earth about several of her decisions. Day one at the studio ends and the models head back to their mansion to work more on their ad campaigns. The poor Brits are struggling with having Annaliese as their leader, and don’t know if their ad concept is going to come together.

The models arrive back at the studio the next day. Jay Manuel is now with Kelly Cutrone to give advice on the shoot. Jay encourages the models and the photo shoot begins. The girls put together their sets, the male models arrive, and AzMarie shines! Talk about a great model.

Since there is nobody “in charge” of placing the models, each team leader must place their model and describe how they should be during their shoot, if they’re not already embracing it themselves. The photo shoot begins and, as they say in the UK, “We’re off to the races.”

The Americans are going for a “Punk Love” feeling for the site’s Lux Love line. Candace is first up and is criticized for her hot stiffness (not meant in a good way). After Candace, Seymone takes her spot on stage and the photographers cheer when she’s done. As Kyle starts posing, Kelly talks about the girls’ lack of “punk.” Kelly tells Kyle that she is “not on drugs” and “looks dead.” After a while, Kyle livens up and starts “cooking with gasoline,” as Jay puts it.

Laura is next up and is told to be more fun. Kelly loves Laura’s confidence. Eboni is next up for the US and is doing an awkward, weird, sexy, shoot, not enjoyed by any of the models. Lastly up for the USA is AzMarie. Jay has nothing bad to say about her and loves the contemporary aspects of her shoot.

The UK Team gets ready for their shoot and Alisha tells us their Retro ‘60s concept is stronger than the US Team’s. According to Louise, everybody is looking towards her for leadership. Dear Annaliese, you’re failing.

After the hair, make-up, costuming, and other behind-the-scenes work of the photo-shoot is readied, Ashley, along with the rest of the Brits, is ready. Ashley’s prop ruins the photo for her and everybody feels it’s just not doing anything for her shot. Sophie is next up for her time in the spotlight. The girls and the photographers love Sophie’s work, saying she is free as a bird for the whole thing. Alisha struggles to act in love around her male model, but the reaction she gets is positive. Catherine is “gorgeous,” to quote the photographer.

Leader Annaliese is next up for her shot and in her mind, she has screwed up so badly as a leader that if she doesn’t have a good shot, she’ll be sent packing… I have to agree with you, Annaliese. Jay doesn’t buy anything Annaliese is doing and feels she is insecure and too methodical about her skills as a model.

With time ticking, Louise literally runs to her final touch-ups. This does not fly with Kelly whatsoever, who tells us that Louise has one of the worst attitudes ever… According to Jay, the adrenaline and anger Louise had towards Kelly forced her to get to a place where she wants to show them all she has. After Louise, that’s a wrap!

Now, each girl must pick one of her own shots to show at panel – as opposed to having a best photo picked for them.

Speaking of panel… We join the regulars (Kelly Cutronr, Tyra, and Nigel Barker) and guest judge, Cat Deeley. (Host of So you Think You Can Dance and one of my personal favorite hosts of all time.) Tyra reminds the contestants what the winner will receive when named America’s Next Top Model. Tyra starts with the UK Team, which means Annaliese is bashed right away by Kelly. But for Annaliese, Kelly likes the risk she took jumping in her shoot.

After Kelly, Sophie is ready to hear the judges’ thoughts on her shoot. The judges love the quirkiness and even compare Sophie to Twiggy! Catharine’s turn to hear about her photo comes and Nigel immediately talks about the humor she has that shows in her photos. Is that a good thing? I guess so. The eyes of Catherine remind the judges of Princess Diana’s. Ashley is next up and, unfortunately, the judges do not like the shot – not at all. Oops.

Alisha is now up and, sadly, the judges are disappointed in the shot she chose. The tears come and she walks back to the line. The judges then call Louise, and Nigel says Louise looks “mean” in her photo. Louise disagrees. Up next, all hell breaks loose.

Kelly gives Louise a critique, and Louise fights back. Tyra and Cat both analyze Louise and Louise shakes her head, looks down, and doesn’t even listen. In fact, she walks back to her team. No, wait. Forget the team – she walks back stage. Louise walks outside and cusses out everything about Kelly Cutrone and continues yelling, “I need to go home! I want to go home.”

Louise continues to break down and crumble, feeling that she has lost herself in this competition. She can’t take it and Louise leaves the competition. Wow. That just happened.

Moving on. The US Team is ready for their results and AzMarie is first up. The judges rave about not only her photo, but also her leadership. In Tyra’s words, “She did it.” Kyle is next up and Nigel loves the shot, especially her eyes. Seymone’s turn. Kelly doesn’t feel like she owned her body in the shot, with the other judges asking her to over-sexualize her body. Laura is now up and Nigel loves the photo, but does want to see her face more as she is shown in profile. For Eboni, the judges say the photo is too sexy. Lastly, Candace is up, but her photo doesn’t cut it at all. Her pose is cheesy and the photo just defeated her.

The judges discuss their favorites and not-so favorites from this challenge. The judges say, more or less, the same things they said to the models in person, but also discuss Louise, the ex-contestant. In Cat’s words, “Louise needs to learn a few life lessons.” The judges actually loved Louise’s photo, but didn’t even get a chance to compliment her on it. The judges continue on to the US Team, loving almost all the shots! Sadly for Candace and Eboni, the judges hate their photos.

The judges have made a decision and call all the models (except Louise) back to the runway.

The first name Tyra calls is AzMarie, winning Best Photo for the week! The following models are also given photos: Sophie, Laura, Kyle, Catharine, Seymone, Annaliese, and… Louise. Those eight photos were considered worthy to use by the client, very.com. Sadly for Candace, Eboni, Alisha, and Laura, their photos were not up to par with what very.com wants for its image. Tyra only has one photo left, so who will stay and who will be sent home?

Tyra pulls the final photo out and…

It is a collage of all four shots. All models are still in the running, due to the hasty exit of Louise.

Now we are given a small glimpse into Louise’s thought process behind quitting, but sadly, I don’t buy it. I don’t care what show it is, but quitting is not the best way to leave… But, alas, to each his own.

Until next week (when it looks like somebody else wants to quit), that’s all! Peace!

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David Johnson is a new writer for Reality News Online/Foxes On Idol, but he made it through several rounds of Idol auditions this season in St. Louis, and you probably saw him on your TV set several times even if you didn’t realize it. You can find him on Twitter @dmjohnson227!

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