Dancing with the Stars 4, April 30: Two-Stepping

Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris welcome us to the program and introduce the dancers. Tom has to quiet the crowd down so that Len Goodman can explain what he, Bruno Tonioli, and Carrie Ann Inaba are looking for tonight.

Dancing first this evening in the ballroom category are Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Laila explains that it isn’t easy being the only female celebrity left in the competition. Maksim says that he hasn’t made it far enough in the competition in past seasons to perform two dances. The two pick on each other during practice.

They are doing the quickstep to “Part-time Lover.” Laila and Maksim’s footwork is beautifully choreographed. Maksim even throws in some cute shoulder movements. Overall, the routine flows nicely and is performed well.

Len tells Laila and Maksim that they turned the heat up on the competition. He also suggests that Laila work on her shoulders. Bruno explains to Laila that she opened the door to ballroom heaven. Carrie Ann quotes LL Cool J.

Both Carrie Ann and Bruno (with a pump of a fist) give the performance a goober; Len gives it a nine. So far this evening, Laila and Maksim have 29 points.

Up now are Edyta Sliwinska and John Ratzenberger. John appreciates the fans’ support. He and Edyta work to stay out of the bottom two. Edyta kicks John in the throat. Ouch. The two appear to have fun with one another.

They’re performing the foxtrot to “That’s Life.” Edyta and John’s camaraderie continues over to the performance, as they appear to have fun with one another. John’s moves aren’t polished, but as in previous weeks, he tries so hard. This is probably his best performance; he moves and entertains, and is a joy to watch.

Bruno tells John that he sold himself very well. Carrie Ann explains that the foxtrot was John’s best dance. Hey, I already said that! Len calls John’s performance great.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the couple an eight while Len gives it a seven. Edyta and John have 23 points.

Julianne Hough and Apolo Anton Ohno are ready to dance. During the week, the two travel to Seattle as Apolo is honored. Julianne explains that perfecting the dances takes the most work and time. Apolo says that he wants the top spot all to himself this week.

They are performing the foxtrot to “Steppin’ Out.” The routine is elegant and light. Julianne and Apolo perform well together; they make the dance look easy. This is the kind of performance that relaxes you when you watch it. It could go on and on, and I wouldn’t complain.

Carrie Ann compliments Apolo on his musicality. Len scolds Apolo for merely being good and not great. Bruno vehemently disagrees with him, and the two bicker while Julianne and Apolo wait patiently for them to finish.

Once again, Carrie Ann and Bruno’s scores match; they award the dance with a nine. Len gives it an eight. Julianne and Apolo have 26 points for their first dance of the evening.

Dancing next are Cheryl Burke and Ian Ziering. To help Ian, Cheryl takes Carrie Ann’s advice from the previous week and calls Billy Ray Cyrus in for help. Billy Ray tells Ian how to walk like a hillbilly. Cheryl says that it didn’t help with his dancing, but it did make him laugh and relax. Ian says that this week, it’s all about having fun.

They’re dancing the tango to “Holding Out for a Hero.” The dance… the performance… Cheryl and Ian… I really don’t know what to say about this dance. It’s not bad, but it isn’t entertaining either. It lacks spark and fails to pull me in. Hopefully, the judges feel differently.

Len says the dance had passion and drama. He mentions some clumsy footwork and the crowd boos. Len asks that we be nice since he is a visitor to our country. Ha. Bruno calls the dance “the revenge of Ian.” He also comments on a move in which Ian shook his head back and forth; he refers to it as the mouthwash move. Carrie Ann says that the move was his attempt to have fun.

All three of the judges give the dance a nine for a total of 27 points out of 30.

And if the cameramen show Tori Spelling in the crowd one more time, I’m driving to California and breaking their cameras. Seriously.

Karina Smirnoff and Billy Ray are up next. Karina says they need a miracle. Billy Ray makes a joke about being a hillbilly/heelbilly. He also wants to do something controversial at the beginning of their waltz. This should be fun.

They’re doing the waltz to “Play Me.” The dance begins with a solo from Karina; this is the move that Billy Ray referred to earlier. The music and Karina’s dress are beautiful… almost like a dream. The routine isn’t bad; it might be because Billy Ray didn’t do much. I don’t think the judges will like it, though.

Bruno calls the waltz unconventional and says that Karina did all of the work. Carrie Ann says there wasn’t enough content in the dance. Len comments on the fun and enjoyment of Billy Ray’s performances. He also says that Billy Ray only did one step and it was a samba move! I’m laughing out loud at this point.

Carrie Ann scores the dance with a five; Len and Bruno give it a six. Karina and Billy Ray have 17 points. The crowd boos.

Dancing next are Kym Johnson and Joey Fatone. Joey says that he has trouble with his posture and that he must think like a dancer. He also jokes about being too serious… like Ian.

They are dancing the foxtrot to “The Way You Make Me Feel.” (Yes, you read that correctly.) The routine is smooth and completely mesmerizing; however, Joey sings the entire time and it distracts me. Kym and Joey finish the dance with several jumps. For a foxtrot, the dance was very energetic and lively.

Carrie Ann says that she loved the routine and that Joey has taken the competition to the next level. Len liked the dance, but says that there was too much razzle-dazzle. Bruno yells at him for his comments and says that the dance was great.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a goober; Len gives it a nine. Kym and Joey have 29 points out of 30.

Joey says that everyone should get a trophy because they are working so hard. That reminds me of when I was a kid and everyone on the basketball team won a trophy so that nobody would cry. Good times.

Ready with their second dance and the Latin phase of the evening are Laila and Maksim. They are performing the samba, but I miss the song. I’m too busy staring at Maksim’s chest! The routine is fun. Laila even gets to slap Maksim’s butt. Did I mention Maksim’s chest? The dance ends with Laila performing some very sexy moves. Overall, this is a fun samba that puts me in a party mood!

Bruno says that Laila gave fire. Carrie Ann yells, “Finally!” She also compliments Laila on her movements. Len tells Laila that her dad should be proud of her. He also refers to it as the best dance of the night. The crowd basically misses what Len says, though.

Each judge scores the dance with a goober; Laila and Maksim have the first triple goober of the season. Their total for the evening is 59 points. Impressive.

Edyta and John are set to dance next. They’re doing the rumba to “Under Pressure.” John doesn’t have much to do; however, the few moves that he does make are thought through and performed nicely.

Carrie Ann says that there wasn’t enough passion in the routine, but she does feel that John moves better than any of the older dancers who have been on the show. Len refers to the dance as John’s best. Bruno agrees with Len and says that John’s footwork has improved.

Carrie Ann and Bruno award the dance with a seven, while Len gives it an eight. For their second dance, Edyta and John have 22 points. Their final score is 45 points.

Up next are Julianne and Apolo. They are dancing the mambo, but again I miss the song. The dance involves a lot of hip action and butt shaking. This is another routine that is nicely choreographed by Julianne; it is sexy and playful.

Len again calls the performance good, but not great. He also nitpicks on some of Apolo’s moves. Bruno reminds him that Apolo is not a dancer and yet he’s doing a terrific job. Carrie Ann says that Apolo was a little off, but that the dance was fantastic. Bruno yells at her.

Carrie Ann and Len give the dance a nine while Bruno gives it a goober. Julianne and Apolo receive 28 points for their Latin dance. They have 54 points after two dances.

Cheryl and Ian are ready to dance their second routine. They are doing the mambo to… what is wrong with me? I missed the song again. The dances are so enjoyable tonight that I am getting into them and not paying attention to the songs. In any case, Ian seems to have a lot of fun with the dance; he finally lets loose, smiles, and gets into the performance. The dance involves a lot of hip action and Ian isn’t shy about shaking what he has.

Bruno says that Ian used Cheryl in the dance for the first time. Carrie Ann appreciates the attitude shift. Len tells Cheryl and Ian that their chemistry finally came out.

Each judge gives the dance a nine; Cheryl and Ian earn 27 points and 54 points overall.

Up now are Karina and Billy Ray. They’re performing the samba to “Living in America.” After all these weeks, Billy Ray still appears to be counting and looking to Karina for constant guidance. Regardless, he thrusts his hips a lot; I giggle.

Carrie Ann congratulates Billy Ray on his determination. Len says that the samba was better than the waltz. He also comments on Billy Ray’s shoes and asks if he got them from Master P. Bruno tells Billy Ray that he has never seen anything like Billy Ray’s dancing… yet he can’t stop watching.

All three of the judges give the couple seven points for a total of 21 points for the samba. They have 38 points overall.

The last performance tonight is from Kym and Joey. They are dancing the jive to… oops, I did it again. No, that’s not the song; I just missed it again. The routine is energetic and well done. Again, Joey goes above and beyond what some of the others can do, but I’m not impressed. Perhaps I’m just cranky.

Len tells Joey that the dance had rhythm and control, and was in sync. Ha! Bruno says that Joey proved what he is capable of. Carrie Ann tells Joey that the dance was sharp.

Each judge gives Kym and Joey a goober for the second triple goober of the evening. Did you follow that?

After a recap of the performances, Tom and Samantha review the standings:

Tomorrow night, another couple will leave the competition. At this point, I have no idea who it could be. I’ll go with Karina and Billy Ray just because it’s my recap and I can do these kinds of things. Also, Meatloaf and Jerry Rice will be appearing. I can’t wait. Won’t you join me? Please!

Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at jilljones@verizon.net.

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