Dancing with the Stars 5, November 12: Scary Spice Meets Debbie Downer

Tom and Samantha introduce the couples while welcoming us to the show. Jennie is sporting an outfit that looks like it is made out of a lot of green casino chips.

Up first are Jennie & Derek. Jennie says that she is an actress acting like a dancer. Derek encourages her during practice and helps her out by having Richard Simmons visit her. Richard, complete with pompoms, cheers her on and tells her how wonderful she is. She begins to cry and I have to admit that even I tear up.

They’re doing the jive to “It Takes Two.” Jennie makes a few small errors, but seems to enjoy performing. The dance is energetic, but the choreography is rough. Jennie is also a bit heavy on her feet; perhaps I’m just distracted by what she’s wearing and more interested in taking her to Vegas than watching the dance. Toward the end of the routine, Jennie adjusts her hair.

Len tells Jennie that her jive was not good enough for the semi-finals. Bruno says that she was limp. Carrie Ann wants Jennie to watch her posture.

All three judges give the dance an eight; Jennie and Derek have 24 points so far this evening.

Next up are Edyta & Cameron. Cameron tells us that he was surprised he didn’t get a goober last week. He attends an event for soap fans and meets up with Season 1 winner Kelly Monaco.

They are performing the Viennese waltz to an instrumental piece. Edyta’s dress is beautiful and matches the performance; however, I’m not moved by what Cameron does. It feels as if he doesn’t have to do much. Please don’t misunderstand; what he does is fine, it just doesn’t seem very challenging.

Bruno tells Cameron that he didn’t overdo it. Carrie Ann says that she loved the dance. Len wants to know why Cameron’s shirt is unbuttoned.

Each of the judges gives the dance a nine. The couple has 27 points after its first dance.

The next couple to dance is Marie & Jonathan. Marie talks about her father, who passed away last week. She also laughs a lot while they practice the romantic moves of the rumba. Marie request’s Anna’s permission, so Anna coaches them during practice. She even tells Marie that it is OK if she kisses Jonathan during the performance.

They’re dancing to “My Cherie Amour.” Marie turns on the charm and moves her hips seductively. Unfortunately, the dance ends a few seconds late. Other than that one small flaw, it is a great performance. To borrow from Len, I don’t think it is semi-final material, but it is great nevertheless.

Donny is in the audience… and he’s crying. Huh?

Carrie Ann tells Marie that she should be aggressive. The audience boos. Len makes a disparaging remark about age. This time, the audience moans. Bruno refers to Marie as Mrs. Robinson, but says he needs more. I need a stiff drink.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno award the dance with an eight. Marie and Jonathan have 24 points.

Julianne & Helio are ready with their first dance of the evening. Julianne creates a pit crew for Helio in the dance studio; not only does she enlist the help of Tony, she also brings in Corky Balas (Mark’s father) and Heather Smith. Let’s see if Julianne’s efforts pay off.

They are performing the paso doble to an instrumental piece. He works his cape at the start of the dance, but it isn’t very smooth. On the other hand, Helio is quite the showman and this dance allows him to prove it. His moves are crisp and sharp, and he stays in character.

Len says that the cape work was nice. Bruno tells Helio that the mission has been accomplished. Carrie Ann appreciates Helio’s intensity and attention to detail.

Each judge gives the dance a nine. Julianne and Helio receive 27 points for their efforts.

The next duo is Mel & Maksim. Mel’s husband visits the couple during practice. He increases her intensity by reminding her of all the things she hates (wet towels and dirty underpants). Maksim is hot.

They’re dancing the tango to “Personal Jesus.” Mel and Maksim begin far apart on the dance floor and eventually work their way together. Mel doesn’t seem relaxed tonight. One move that everyone would certainly enjoy involves Mel and Maksim bumping naughties ever so quickly.

Bruno says that Mel is truly Scary Spice. Carrie Ann loved the stomping at the beginning of the dance. Debbie Downer, though, then says that the dance didn’t feel completely convincing. Len asks to give his comments while he is still young. He tells Mel that her footwork was great.

On her way off of the dance floor, Mel pinches Tom’s butt. Why is she doing that when she has Maksim close by?

All of the judges award the tango with a nine. Mel and Maksim have 27 points.

Ready with their second performance are Jennie and Derek. They’re performing the foxtrot to “I’ve Got You Under My Skin.” Jennie seems a bit unsure at first and looks at the floor. She also seems a bit stiff and uncomfortable with the dance until she really starts to move. Overall, the first half of the performance is dull, but the second half is entertaining.

Carrie Ann tells Jennie she improved her posture and to not lead with her chin. Len says Jennie came back and impressed him; he’s digging her. Bruno wants Jennie to release her star power.

Carrie Ann and Len give the dance a nine while Bruno gives it an eight. Jennie and Derek have 28 points for this performance.

Up now are Edyta and Cameron. They are performing the cha cha cha to “Brown Sugar.” Some of Cameron’s moves are off, but the dance is fun. There are times, though, when it appears that Cameron should let go and not be so stiff.

Len refers to the dance as wooden. Bruno says the dance was too hard. Carrie Ann wants Cameron to work on what he does between moves.

All three judges give the dance an eight. The couple earns 24 points.

Marie and Jonathan are set to perform. They’re doing the jive to “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under.” The dance is fairly simple; it doesn’t feature some of the basic moves of the jive. The couple performs a move that involves Marie jumping and going into a split of sorts. In other words, we were treated to a crotch shot of Marie.

Bruno calls the dance fun, but doesn’t think there were enough jive moves. Carrie Ann agrees with Bruno. Len thanks Marie for giving him fun.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance an eight; Len gives it a nine. Marie and Jonathan earn 25 points for their jive.

The next couple to dance is Julianne and Helio. They’re performing the quickstep to “Hey Pachuco.” Helio begins by jumping off of the stage. Impressive. At times, he seems light on his feet, but then he begins to stomp. The dance ends with Helio planting a wet one on Julianne and dropping Julianne to the ground. The crowd goes wild. Yoko stretches and yawns.

Carrie Ann cheers for the couple. Len tells Helio he is a great big dancing banana. He also refers to the dance as fantastic. Bruno says Helio has the finishing line in sight.

Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the dance a goober. Julianne and Helio have 30 points.

The last dance of the evening is from Mel & Maksim. They are dancing the mambo to an instrumental piece. Of course, the routine features a lot of hip shaking, playfulness, and sass. It even ends with Maksim falling on Mel and giving her a kiss on the check. Oh, to be Mel for just one evening!

Len says the dance was hot; he’s surprised the smoke detectors didn’t go off. Bruno calls the routine flirtatious fun. Carrie Ann tells Mel that Maksim is having a great time with her.

Debbie Downer gives the dance a nine, while Len and Bruno give it a goober. Mel and Maksim have 29 points.

Tom and Samantha review the current standings. Out of the goodness of my heart, I also throw in my rankings.

Next week are the semi-finals, and the dancers get to perform their favorite ballroom and Latin dances. Until we meet again, vote for your favorites and let me know what you thought of tonight’s dances.

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and reality television. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these and other topics.