Dancing With the Stars 6, March 17: Shamrock and Roll

It’s March 17; that means it’s St. Patrick’s Day and time for another season of Dancing with the Stars! It’s my pleasure to be recapping this little gem for you once again. Going into the sixth season, I’m sure you know what to expect; if not, be sure to review my preview article.

Before we even see our first alemana, rondé, and feather, I’m going out on a limb and predict the bottom two for the first week. My gut feeling is that Marissa Jaret Winokur & Tony Dovolani and Kym Johnson & Penn Jillette will be in trouble early on. I wonder if my feelings will change after tonight’s and tomorrow night’s dancing.

Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris welcome us to the show. The program begins with an opening dance number by the professionals. It’s a new record; butts are shaking and the camera work is shoddy, and we’re barely three minutes into the new season. If you have a green beer next to you, take a drink. In fact, take a drink every time something stupid, inappropriate, or predictable is said or done.

Next, Tom and Samantha introduce the couples. Nobody falls down the steps. I thought there would be some opening-night jitters.

Tom throws a nod to the judges Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli, and Carrie Ann Inaba. He also mentions Dance War. That didn’t take long; take another drink of green beer.

We finally get to the dancing. First up are Kym & Penn. Penn eats fire. He’s also clumsy on the dance floor. Kym wants his personality to come through.

They’re performing the cha cha cha to “A Fool in Love.” Penn slides through Kym’s legs early in the dance. Surprisingly, he is full of energy and moves; unfortunately, he slows down mid-way through. He also pulls out a bouquet of flowers for Kym at the end of the routine. I’m mildly amused, though, by the whole thing.

Len tells Penn he captured the flavor of the dance, but that his feet are a problem; Penn blames everything on Kym. Bruno says Penn should be lighter on his feet. Carrie Ann starts off by saying, “OK.” Take a drink of beer.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a five while Len gives it a six. Kym & Penn have 16 points.

The next couple to dance is Edyta Sliwinska & Jason Taylor. Jason is hot. He says he’s a jerk on the football field. Edyta wants to win; this is her sixth season on the show. Some of the dance moves make Jason feel funny. That’s the same effect tapioca pudding has on me.

They’re doing the foxtrot to “Pride and Joy.” Jason seems to watch Edyta too much during the routine; this is to be expected, though, since it is his first dance. He also has long limbs and should learn to extend them more. Overall, he performs some nice moves. Good job.

Len says Jason is good looking, and it’s like looking in a mirror. Len wants him to work on his acting. Carrie Ann tells Jason he’s coordinated. Bruno calls Jason the most graceful tackler he’s ever seen.

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the couple a seven; Len gives it an eight. Edyta & Jason have 22 points.

Up now are Cheryl Burke & Cristián de la Fuente. That’s easy for you to say. When Cristián meets Cheryl for the first time, he says he now has a chance to win. Cheryl tells Cristián to loosen up.

They are dancing the cha cha cha. Like the other men who have danced so far, Cristián needs to watch how heavy he is on his feet. He and Cheryl seem to have fun together, though. As always, Cheryl choreographs a great routine that allows her to highlight her partner’s strengths.

Hey, Mel B is in the audience!

Carrie Ann tells Cristián to watch his shoulders. Bruno says Cheryl bangs. Take two drinks for that comment. Len comments on Cristián’s posture.

All three of the judges award the dance a seven. Cheryl & Cristián have 21 points.

Helio is in the crowd as well. He’s still smiling.

Julianne Hough & Adam Carolla are set to perform. Adam says he and Julianne are different. He’s also worried that Julianne’s dad is watching; it’s making him nervous. Julianne says Adam talks too much.

They are performing the foxtrot to “Mellow Yellow.” Immediately, it’s apparent that Adam can’t keep up with Julianne. The dance isn’t smooth and Adam misses a few steps. Maybe it was better than that and I’m just cranky because I have no green beer to drink; I don’t drink and write. Let’s see what the judges think.

Bruno tells Adam there’s a lot of work to be done. Len tells Julianne she has her work cut out for her. Carrie Ann is at a loss for words. Drink up, friends.

Each of the judges gives Julianne & Adam a five. The couple has 15 points.

Adam tells Julianne there’s no three-peat for her. Ha.

Up next are Karina Smirnoff & Mario. At 21, Mario is the youngest competitor in the competition. Karina was happy with Mario’s first step. The happiness was short-lived, though; Karina had to have surgery on her neck. She’s still recovering, but ready to compete.

They are doing the cha cha cha to “Hey DJ.” The dance is sexy; I’m wondering what Len will think. If Mario polishes some of his moves, he’ll be a real competitor. So far, this is my favorite routine of the evening.

Carrie Ann fans herself. She tells Mario he can move. Len says Mario needs to work on his footwork. Bruno tells the couple he was excited. I’m assuming he meant during the dance and not just in general.

Once again, the judges are in harmony; they all award Karina & Mario an eight. The couple has earned 24 points out of 30.

The final couple of the evening is Anna Trebunskaya & Steve Guttenberg. Steve calls the show beautiful. Anna tells us that Steve is a brilliant student. I want Anna to be my new super best friend.

They are dancing the foxtrot to “Lazy River.” Steve appears to be a bit stiff; however, he looks the part and fits almost perfectly with Anna. The routine Anna choreographed allows Steve to dance without being too challenged. I think it was a good dance for their first outing.

Bruno tells Steve to add more drive. Carrie Ann calls Steve charming. Len says that Steve is the first star this evening to look as if he enjoyed himself.

All of the judges give the dance a six. Anna & Steve have 18 points. Drink some beer just for the fun of it.

Clips of the female stars are shown. Marissa Jaret Winokur uses a double negative. Priscilla Presley wishes the show wasn’t live. Marlee Matlin wants the disco ball trophy so that she can put it next to her Oscar.

Tom and Samantha review the current standings. As always, I’m including my rankings.

Tomorrow night, the women perform. Next Monday, everyone dances again and two couples will be eliminated on Tuesday. You’ve already read my pre-dance predictions. What do you think?

I’d like to dedicate this recap to my friend Edie. She’s a true Irish woman who had some hella-surgery done last week. I’m sending her happy, healthy thoughts for a speedy recovery and a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day. Take a drink in honor of Edie.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these other recent Dancing With the Stars articles on RealityNewsOnline:

Jill is an east coast mama who loves Michael Kors, Bea Arthur, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. If she were in a room with the three of them, she might explode. She can be reached at jillcjones@zoominternet.net to discuss these individuals and other topics.

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