Paradise Hotel, June 18: Welcome to Paradise

Welcome to Paradise Hotel. It's the most lavish and exclusive resort in the world, where every need is catered to, and the only rule is hook up... or check out. Because each week, somebody checks out... but somebody else checks in! Indeed, it starts right in the first episode, where a studio audience member will be the very first person to join the cast.

First we introduce the existing cast members... starting with the women.

Kristin is 24, a hair stylist, and egos and attitudes do not fly with her. If you think that she thinks you're good looking, it's forget it.

Charla is 21, a waitress. She claims people are scared around her; afraid to do their own thing. She thinks she'll survive just perfectly in Paradise Hotel.

Amy is 21, a dental assistant, and claims she has a tomboy attitude that attracts men. She was a homecoming queen.

Melanie, 31, is an importer, and is here for the adventure. She thinks this will be a lot of fun.

Amanda is 22, a resort concierge, and came to Paradise Hotel out of curiosity. She's excited to be here without friends or family along.

Toni is 28, a personal trainer, and if you come after her with an attitude and without good reason, you better pack up for a flight back because she will tear you down! And yes, this is the same Toni from Love Cruise, where she did indeed try to tear some people down.

Now for the men...

Alex is 21, a student, and believes his looks are an advantage. He believes he comes across as a sweet, nice guy, and uses it. He muses, "Who wouldn't?"

Beau is 22, a radio DJ, and promises to show us the "previews." The movie will come later. He claims he's hated by some, loved by many... and envied by "oh so many."

Zack is 24 years old, a personal trainer, and won't try to move in on a girl in a serious, committed relationship. But if she's just dating a guy... He doesn't care for sensitive girls.

Scott, 30, is a stock day trader, and won't try to "bum rush" any girl. If something happens, it happens, and he's just going to be himself.

Andon, a 26-year-old graphic designer, is from Denver. In high school he had a mohawk and a leather jacket, and played on the football team. He claims that shows how diverse he can go in either direction. He says nobody really knows how women think or what makes them click.

After the guests arrive, we see scenes of the hotel, with waterfalls and cliffs, and beautiful scenery. Then it's boy-meet-girl, as the six women are introduced to the five men.

Kristin enjoyed meeting the guys, saying they were all good looking, while Scott thinks the girls will gravitate toward Zack, because he's got a buff body and doesn't drink. Melanie likes Alex because he's very funny and has the best personality of them all. Amanda thinks two of them are very very cute – Beau and Alex. Meanwhile, Zack thinks whoever starts hitting on the girls first is going to be making a big mistake.

Toni thinks Beau is great, Andon is great... heck they are all great. Meanwhile others are pointing out that they have a beach, swimming pools, and a grotto. They all toast each other going into the break.

Open the doors, and enter the host, Amanda Byram, who starts by welcoming the guests, and asks if they are raring to go and ready for the time of their lives. She promises it will be nothing like they have ever experienced before. However, there are a lot of hidden surprises in store for them... in fact, they'll never know what is going to hit them next. The first surprise is this... their stay at Paradise Hotel is NOT guaranteed. Looks like the producers hit them with a little twist up-front, kind of like Joe Millionaire. Obviously, this is NOT a welcome surprise, as it appears the hotel guests thought they'd be spending the whole summer there. Since the girls outnumber the guys, one of them will be going home. The only other rule is... the guests must obey every other rule of the hotel. Break the rules and they are checking out... and the rules can change at any time (more producer jargon for "we can kick you out any time we want, so anybody with a Smoking Gun past better start packing their bags). With that, she invites them to a party, and tells them to change into swimwear and dive into paradise.

So it's off to the changing rooms, where the guys talk about how hot some of the women are, and start flexing their muscles in front of the mirror (and each other). Zack does a few push-ups, then after everybody else has left, comes back in to admire himself and do a few more. What a guy. This isn't the last we'll see of him and his ego. The girls come out of their changing room ready to jump into paradise. So the cast jumps, dives, and wades into the pool, flirting and eyeing each other. Andon's tattoo gathers some attention from Toni, as he informs his lady friend that, while it's the only one he currently has, he has plans to do the left arm, as well as his back. She thinks he's the first one she would like to go up and kiss. Charla however, thinks that while they are all good-looking, none of them are her type.

The girls start gathering to check out the guys in order... Zack is 10, Andon 9, Beau is 8, 7 "little Ace Ventura" (Alex), Scott is a 6. Meanwhile the guys muse that they don't think any of the girls are fat, but Melanie is really old... like 30. Ah, it looks like shallowness is an equal-opportunity employer out here. Amy thinks Zack is retarded or something, wondering where his social skills are. Meanwhile some are flirting in the water, while others are on the sidelines, as we fade into commercials and the next segment.

Amanda Byram is back, calling the ladies up to the stairs and telling the men to take their seats. She informs the ladies one of them is going home at the end of the week, and the only way to avoid it is to find a roommate. So it's up to the ladies to decide who they want to spend their time with. It's the first game of the season. As each lady is called, she must go over and stand next to the man of her choice. If only one lady chooses a man, they are a couple and will be roommates. However, if two ladies pick the same man, the man gets to pick the lady he wishes to be with. The staff, meanwhile, hand out sets of matching necklaces to each man. They will wear one of them; the other they will put around the neck of the lady they will be sharing the room with. At the end of this, one woman will have a room to herself, and if she can't win over a necklace by the end of the week, her stay in paradise is over.

Kristin is first to select a man. She picks Alex. She thinks he's got this model look and that he's cute. Charla is next, and she selects Beau, after teasing Alex a bit. She also notes that she thinks Amanda likes him, and because she irritates her, she picked him to tick her off. Toni is next to select, and chooses Andon. She thinks he's great, and they have a lot in common. Melanie picks next, and Scott is her choice. Zack is not having fun; he apparently thinks he's all that, but he's the last one to be selected by one of the ladies. Amy is sent off to find the man she wants to room with. She picks Zack. She claims he's a funny guy. She's also not stupid; to stay in Hotel Paradise requires a partner at this stage, and picking a fight this early over some guy she hardly knows isn't the best idea in the world. Finally, Amanda is forced to battle it out over another woman guest for a guy. She takes her time, but settles on Beau. She thinks everybody knew she wanted Beau. She goes on and claims Charla is only here to win, and doesn't know if it would bother her to step on other people.

So Beau has to make the choice... which girl, Charla or Amanda? Whichever one he rejects, the poor girl will have to spend the rest of the week on her own. Beau says it's not an easy decision, but he has gotten to know one of the women better... and with that he picks Amanda.

Back to our host, who tells Charla it isn't over for her yet. To survive in paradise, all she needs to do is to break up one of the couples and get with one of the guys. She gets a black necklace and private room all to herself. Host Amanda tells everybody to have a good time, but also tells them that we (meaning the audience) will be watching their every move. With that, she sends them off to dinner.

Over dinner, Amy questions Zack as to whether he is disappointed over his roommate situation. He claims he isn't. Then he confesses he wanted Amanda or Kristin, but they didn't pick him. He doesn't know why. Then he goes on to claim that while he isn't conceited, he's better than the two guys those women picked. "I'm sorry, I am!" Uh huh, well, go suck your thumb, boy, I'd LIKE to have Amy for a roommate. He then proceeds to dig his grave a little deeper by telling her that he thinks he could have done better. Oh wow, how vain can you get? Amy questions him on what he means by a little bit better, and he starts to hedge, saying, "I don't mean you” (uh, I think he DID actually), he's just like surprised by everything, you know? Amy then tells him that if he's disappointed, she's totally sorry. I would be too if I got a vain jerk like him for a roommate.

Meanwhile, Beau is chatting with his roommate, Amanda, telling her she took a chance because she knew somebody else was going to pick him. I have no idea if he's just not too bright, or if he's vain also, since Amanda had to battle it out with somebody. He should be happy that, aside from Kristin, who had first pick, she was possibly the only one he KNOWS was selected as a first choice. Meanwhile Amanda is starting to compare him to her wonderful ex-boyfriend. Beau goes on and states this is a step which could lead to other things. However, Amanda is going to WAIT for other things. So much for him getting lucky on his first night in paradise.

Meanwhile, it's advice time for Charla, compliments of Melanie. She's told she needs to talk to every single person there. She muses she talks to Andon the most. Melanie says they'll talk tomorrow and map out a strategy. Charla retorts that she doesn't need a strategy. Uh, wake up; you DO if you want to remain in the game.

Back to Zack, and more of his thoughts on how he wanted Amanda and Kristin to pick him (with him it's both, not just one... I'm seriously beginning to dislike this creep). One of the girls asks him how old he is (physical or mental is a better question). She tells him that he should know by now that looks aren't "It.” They can't believe Zack is talking like that right in front of Amy.

Now it's time to introduce the couples to their rooms. Each room appears to have one luxurious king sized bed and another, smaller, single bed (though each room is unique). Their stuff is unpacked (which some of the guests don't like, even though it is a service of the hotel), and their beds are examined. Toni is amazed at the room she is sharing with Andon. Amanda and Beau check into theirs as well, with Amanda telling Beau which bed he's going to have. Amy and Zack, then Kristin and Alex are shown their rooms. Melanie and Scott are led to their room, Scott asking her how she feels about sleeping here, with Melanie noting her unpacked sleepwear with a, "Oh hold on, but how PHAT are my pajamas? Am I money or what." Scott replies, "You are so money, you don't even know it." "They are so money," Melanie gushes.

Finally it's time to examine Charla's room. All she can say is, "No they didn't! They unpacked my stuff. Where are my suitcases? Where are my underwear?" Meanwhile Toni is showing off her clothing to Andon, with Andon starting to 'rassle her over a shirt.

It's bedtime for everybody, and we get Amanda claiming "she can't sleep on that (meaning one bed); you have to let me sleep on THAT (meaning another bed), there's enough room." Beau tells her to come on, and she repeats she can't sleep on that. Beau gives her a choice; we both sleep on this bed, or we both sleep on that bed. Pretty gutsy move on the first night. Toni and Andon examine their living quarters, with Toni pointing out the bed is made of down, the pillows are made of down. Heck it looks like everything was made for these couples to get down. She also notes that there is another mini-bed in the room, then asks him if he wants her to sleep on it. Then it's back to a scene of Charla trying to adjust her curtains, then back to Amanda saying she'll sleep on the little bed because she's a little person. Beau says they'll both sleep on it. He gets in, then they play around and both fall off. He then starts chasing her around the room. Scenes shift to various bedrooms, showing that most couples are sleeping in separate beds, except for Toni and Andon, which is implied by the drawn curtain and Toni asking, "Will you cuddle?" and Andon replying "Yeah, okay." (Actually, I'm not sure if this room HAS a second bed or not.) Finally, Amy invites Zack into the big bed if he promises he won't bite. Zack jumps out of the mini-bed immediately.

WARNING: Possible Adult Content Next

We wake up to a curtained shot of Amy and Zack. Take your interpretation on the dialogue featured below:

Amy: Giggles
Zack: What do we do? How do we play this off?
Amy: Giggles
Zack: I'm not saying that it wasn't awesome, I'm just saying...
Amy: Okay, we won't say anything.
Zack: Yeah, I promise.
Amy: Cool.

As everybody gets up, they join for breakfast. They women dine together and start gossiping. The men start comparing notes, wondering how tied-in they are to their respective women. Then it's off to another room, where Andon asks Zack what happened last night at dinner. We're treated to a flashback of Zack's famous "I'm not conceited" speech. Zack just replies "Nothing. Everything went fine." Who is he trying to kid? Meanwhile, Toni asks Amy what is going on between her and Zack. Amy lobs the question back to Toni; what does SHE think? Toni wants the details on what happened last night. Cut back to Andon and Zack. Zack concedes he had his eye on somebody else. He wanted Amanda or Kristin, but... then he starts flexing his muscle (every one except the one between his ears). Meanwhile Amy tells Toni she promised herself she wouldn't be any part of the drama... but... well, she didn't cause it, but it happened. She then goes on to tell Toni that after the doors were closed, Zack turned out to be funny… and proceeds to break her promise not to tell. Then Zack also breaks his promise, telling Andon they slept in the same bed. Cut back to the curtained room, where they made their promise... sigh. The scenes continue to flip flop between Andon & Zack and Toni & Amy, with Andon and Toni each admitting that it was kind of a big sister / little brother kind of thing.

Now it's a strategy session with Melanie and Charla. Melanie tells Charla that Andon talks about her, then tells the camera that Charla has a hard time right now because she's the odd woman out. Charla doesn't want her stay in paradise to be over in a week, and she's going to do her best not to make it happen. She tells us her game plan is to be a little bit more flirty, a little bit more naughty. She wants the guys to imagine staying in a room with her. Next we get a hint at the battle to come, as Amy asks Toni if she isn't afraid about Charla going after Andon. Toni says it wouldn't bother her since she hardly knows the guy. Toni then reveals to Amy that neither one of them is safe. They'll have to cover their own tails if they want to stay at Hotel Paradise.

So will Charla seduce Andon away from Toni? Will Amy stick with Zack? Will Zack get Amanda, Kristin, or over himself? Who will be the first to leave... and who will be the next guest? We don't have the answers to those yet, but we DO have an answer on how you can join the cast of Hotel Paradise. Fill out an application form on www.paradiseonfox.com, and perhaps you'll be the next to join the cast. And join us next week – both Monday and Wednesday – when we get some more answers!

Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at jclinard@earthlink.net.

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