Paradise Hotel, June 30: Would You Like a Hot Fudge Sundae or Some Cheesecake?by Jeffrey Clinard -- 07/01/2003
Welcome back to Paradise Hotel, where we begin with host Amanda standing in the Los Angeles studio, waiting to show the audience the selection of the next guest. She points out that last week Dave went from fan to star, and they would do the same thing again tonight. But before that, it's back to Paradise Hotel, where we'll see what has gone on since the last episode – and find out which man has been forced to check out.
To review, this week the couples were as follows:
Charla and Scott: Yellow Room
We reenter Paradise to check in on Charla, who's in the spa getting a massage. As she gets massaged, she tells us that she's playing the game the best she knows how and that she's afraid to leave. She's constantly thinking of what she can do to stay there. Well Charla, there is an obvious answer, but you might not want to go there. We cut there to listen in on Dave and Scott, with Dave saying he thinks he's made a connection with Charla, and nobody else has. He'll be disappointed if she doesn't choose him. Scott agrees that she's a great girl; she speaks her mind and tells people how she is feeling. While that goes on, Beau, Zack, and Amy are chatting in the Monkey Room. Beau thinks all the power is in Charla's hands, because she can pick Dave or pick somebody else. Beau states that if Dave picks one of the girls, the girl will keep one of the originals – except for Charla. Charla continues to get her massage, telling us that she flip-flops between the guys. She thinks if she picks Dave, everybody else will be mad at her and think she's disloyal, because everybody else wants the original people there. She describes it as a little high school cliché, and she isn't into that. However, she also thinks that if the originals had their chance to get rid of her next week, they'd do it.
Back to Dave and Scott, where Dave asks Scott who he is going to pick. Scott refuses to tell him, but says Dave will be shocked by his pick. Cutting back to Charla, she tells us that nobody at Paradise Hotel likes her or wants her there. Her masseuse asks her how she feels about all this. Charla says she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't think she wants to room with Dave very much. We flashback to a scene where Dave and Charla are talking about the relationship they have. Dave says he's gone out of his way to establish one with her. Charla asks if he thought he had a chance with anybody else. Dave admits he hasn't tried. Back to the massage table, Charla states that everybody is trying their best to stay in the hotel. Andon was a jerk to her last week, but now that he realizes she might have the power to eliminate him, he's changed. Flashback to last episode, where Andon and Charla had their talk, kiss, and grind. But she doesn't think it was sincere. The only person she really trusts is the bartender. Then cut to Dave complaining to the bartender that if Charla doesn't pick him, so that she can get in with the group... well, it's completely screwed up. Dave's sick to his stomach. When he got there, everybody hated Charla. She made an effort with him, and he let her in. He's concerned he could be going home because of all the crap going on. Uh, Dave, you were a big part of the crap that has been going on lately. Kurt the bartender tells him that this is tonight, and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. Dave complains it's the story of his life; he works hard to get a beautiful girl and then ends up as the sucker because he's a nice guy.
Charla continues to complain to the masseuse. She wouldn't feel comfortable in the same bed with Dave. Apparently he doesn't take care of his feet, and his toes are all messed up. It grosses her out. She doesn't know what she'll do until she's there.
The staff comes around to all the men with letters informing them that somebody will check out tonight. The men need to be packed up before sundown. The men think it all sucks that somebody is going home. Well guys, that's what most reality TV shows are all about. A woman tells Alex she doesn't think he has anything to worry about. He responds that they all thought that about Melanie as well. Andon tells Toni that this has been one of the most stressful mental tests he's ever been through. He doesn't know if it's worth it mentally, to do this to himself. Toni tells him that she doesn't want to lose him. They hug each other. He later muses that everything will be O.K., and what is meant to be, will be. He figures if he hopes and dreams hard enough, it will be. Meanwhile, Dave paces around the Bird room, telling us that the group is much tighter than he thought it would be. He's the only person that is getting stressed out in Paradise. Then we cut to Beau, who has mixed feeling about rooming with Amanda again. The trouble is that he doesn't know if Amanda can get over just being friends. Flashback to the aftermath of the Pandora's Box game, where Amanda tells us she feels like an ass, then the threat to smack him if he tells her they are friends one more time. Amanda's current view is that she and Beau are not dating, and she never thought they would be. Beau's view is that they could be friends and have a good time. He doesn't have a strategy for the game; in fact he doesn't consider it to be a game. He sees it as real life.
At sundown, host Amanda gathers the guests outside by the pool for the roommate selection process. Each of the men will have to select the woman he wants to share a room with for the next week. At the end of it, one man will be left unattached, and have to leave Paradise forever. She then asks Beau how it was being the outsider. He tells her it's been lonely. She asks him if it is fair to ask him if he feels vulnerable. "Absolutely, very much so" he responds. So she tells him that, as the outsider, he'll be the first to select a woman this week. Host Amanda then springs another surprise on the guests. Tonight's surprise is that the men cannot select a woman they are currently rooming with. With that rule in mind, it's time for the selections.
Beau is up first. He walks around the women and selects Amy. Cut to guest Amanda telling us that she knew Beau wouldn't pick her, because they've already lived together. She's not surprised. Host Amanda asks Beau why he picked Amy. He replies it was very simple; he wanted to pick guest Amanda, but he also wanted people to know that he also wanted to be her friend. He could only do that by making a statement. That only really answers the question of why he didn't pick guest Amanda. I have to wonder if Dave told him that Amy put out on her first night with Zack.
Next to select a woman is Zack. He can't select Amy because he's been rooming with her this week. He immediately goes for Toni. Hmm, just a few weeks ago he was all hot for Amanda and Kristen. I wonder what's changed. Host Amanda asks him why he picked Toni. Zack believes he and Toni will be really good roommates together. His last roommate was different (a statement which prompts laughter from the guests, and Amy to look embarrassed). Zack wants to slow it down this week, which causes further embarrassment for Amy.
Dave is up next. Host Amanda tells him that he got here last week and selected guest Amanda, which shook things up. Flashback to where he keeps telling Beau that he wasn't going to screw him over, take his girl, or be his rival. Now why would Beau interpret it like that? Host Amanda tells him he can't room with guest Amanda again. With that, he grins and immediately selects Charla. Looks like he might have been the only person anticipating the shake-up this week. If he did, he played out his cards perfectly. His reason for picking Charla was that she knew what it was like to be on the outside. He then goes on to say that as much as everybody made him feel welcome, it's a tough group to crack. However, Charla made the most effort to get to know him. Flashback to earlier in the episode, where Amanda told the masseuse she didn't want to share a bed with Dave, because their feet might touch in the middle of the night.
Host Amanda turns to Scott next, reminding us that he roomed with Melanie the first week and Charla this week. He can't pick Charla, so he's forced to make another selection. In a surprise move, he picks Toni, much to her dismay. It's obvious she doesn't want to be the person to force a man to check out. Zack doesn't look too happy either. Scott tells host Amanda that he and Toni had an instant bond, and the bond has just gotten stronger. He thinks Toni is a wonderful person, and he wants to get to know her better. Host Amanda asks him how he feels about battling it out over Toni. He admits he feels terrible about it, and says it's the biggest nightmare he could possibly imagine.
Time for Alex to pick. He's lived with Kristen for two weeks, but it's time for him to select a new roommate. He does... and it's Toni! She now has three men fighting over her! Her eyes pop out, then informs us that she really wants to throw up. She covers her face up once more. Alex tells us his reason for selecting her was closer to Toni than any of the other women. Yes, there is something about Toni.
Andon is the last to select. Host Amanda tells us that he and the very popular Toni have been living together, but it's now time for him to make a switch. He walks around the girls once, then selects... Amy! Now Amy has two guys that want to live with her. He tells us that he knew he was going to pick Amy, and that he was going to stick to his guns. She's been cool to hang out with and is straight-up fun. It would be a natural progression to room with Amy. He, like Beau, doesn't mention that she puts out easily. Now Amy is all upset.
Host Amanda sighs and tells us that tonight there is just one couple that has formed – Dave and Charla. Dave is the only one who is safe. She tells them to go over to the couch and sit down. The camera then pans over the remaining four women. None of them are happy. Amy and Toni don't want to make decisions, and Kristen and Amanda weren't wanted, period. Still, no matter how distasteful it is, Amy has to select one of the two men who picked her as her new roommate. She tells us that it is a difficult decision, and she loves both of them. She then starts crying and, telling Andon that she's sorry, puts the necklace around Beau's neck, and they become roommates. This sets Toni off crying. Her man is now vulnerable. Amy continues to cry as she and Beau join Dave & Charla on the couch.
Host Amanda then informs us we have a situation they've never had before on Paradise Hotel (er, they’ve only had one elimination so far!). Zack, Alex, and Scott have all selected Toni, and she must select one of them to be her roommate. Toni continues to cry, and finally, through her tears, tells the men she loves them all and doesn't know what to do. She admits she needs some strength, some help, and her friends. With tears in her eyes, she picks Alex. She collapses into his arms and keeps sobbing all the way to the couch.
Zack, Scott, and Andon must now select once again, this time between Kristen and guest Amanda. Zack is up first and selects Amanda. Scott then selects Kristen. So it's up to Andon to make his selection, and let the woman decide which man she prefers. He looks at each of them, then selects Amanda. Kristen and Scott become a couple for the next week. Host Amanda asks her how it feels. Kristen responds that she's glad she didn't have to make any of the decisions tonight. She feels good, but feels bad for everybody else.
So it's come down to this; Amanda has to make her choice between Zack and Andon, knowing the one she doesn't pick will be going home. Guest Amanda tells us she never thought she'd be in this situation. Everybody on the couch looks concerned, particularly Toni. Guest Amanda then tells Zack they've had some talks together, and even enjoys fighting with him. She then tells Andon he has charisma and talent, but doesn't feel they gotten to talk as much as she wanted. That's why she is picking Zack. She kisses Andon goodbye and gives him a hug. Toni goes into a fresh storm of tears. We're treated to a voiceover of Andon telling us that he knew Amanda has feelings for Beau, and that she was going to pick Zack because Beau and Zack are close. Host Amanda then tells Andon he has to leave Paradise forever, as Toni continues to cry up a storm.
OK, let me interrupt this program for a few minutes. Andon, if you knew guest Amanda was going to pick Zack, why the hell did you select her instead of Kristen? In fact, since both Amanda and Kristen were available when you made the last selection in the first round, why didn't you select either of them to be your roommate when you had the chance to get them without competition? Was your ego so big that you figured Amy would select you, or was your sex drive working overtime and you took the chance of elimination just to get into bed with her? No matter what, you threw strategy right out the window and eliminated yourself because if it.
Back at the hotel, we cut back to a crying Toni, who tells us that she's just lost her roommate, one of her best friends, her brother, and it's not fair. She then admits that is the way the game is played. Well now Toni, since you've been on reality TV before, you should have known this was a possibility.
So it's back to the studio, where host Amanda connects up with the ten guests in Paradise Hotel via satellite. Host Amanda first asks Toni if she was surprised to have been selected by three guys the previous night. Toni responds she was really surprised and really flattered. Host Amanda then tells Kristen that while everybody else was emotional, she didn't seem to be too sad. Was she happy to see the back of Andon? Kristen says no; it's just that she isn't an emotional person. She liked Andon and had nothing against him. She enjoyed talking to him, but he was a little too deep for her. Fill in your own comment about what Kristen must be like if she thinks Andon is deep. Next Host Amanda tells Dave that last week in the studio, he said he was looking forward to going to Paradise and having multiple women all pleasing him at once. So is he on his way to achieving his goal? "Uh, no," replies Dave. Host Amanda then asks Charla, since she's living with him this week, is she going to help him out. Charla laughs, but doesn't give an answer.
Now that the bantering is over, Host Amanda tells us that out of thousands of hopefuls, they've narrowed it down to two ladies who want to join the cast. Tonight, the men will select the woman who will get the next ticket to Paradise.
The first lady is training to be a massage therapist. She lives in Las Vegas, Nevada. Now, since I also live in Las Vegas, I can tell you that TV ads for careers in massage therapy are on all the time. They used to feature a woman who says she was employed at the Desert Inn, but ever since Steve Wynn bought it and closed it (to be reborn again soon as the latest luxury resort on the Las Vegas strip), they've changed the spokesmodel. In any case, the woman is Desiree. Her audition video features her in a bikini, climbing out of a swimming pool. Her She's 24 years old, and likes the hot weather... likes it really hot. She loves to dance and shake her ass. Hmm, looks like she's qualified to join the cast then. She wants to go to Paradise Hotel, and thinks the women will be afraid of her. The guys however, will love her. Not mentioned but clearly shown is that she's an African-American, has a female symbol tattooed around her navel, and has some kind of navel jewelry.
Host Amanda then tells Desiree that she has it going on. She points out that she's a masseuse. So which guy would she like to give a massage to the most. Desiree answers that there are a couple of guys she'd really love to get down in the deep tissue with. She won't tell us who just yet though. Host Amanda thinks she'll spice things up at Paradise Hotel if she's the one selected.
The other candidate is a 23-year-old spokesmodel from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Her name is Kavita. Her audition video features her bowling and telling us that she's a whirlwind. Her life is one big spontaneous crazy drama. She's a heartbreaker. She doesn't mean to do it, but she's too nice to guys a lot of the time. If she could change one part of her body, it would be her butt. She thinks her butt is just a little bit big. She tells us that every girl is anal about her butt. How clever of her to say that. Looks like she's also qualified to be on Paradise Hotel.
Host Amanda says it will be a hard decision tonight. She then asks Kavita if there is any guy she fancies. Kavita thinks they are all cute, but Scott reminds her of Ken-Barbie, which causes Scott to blush. She can't understand why nobody picked Zack in the first episode, because he was her first choice. Zack obviously likes that comment. That over, it's time for the questions.
Dave is up first. He asks Desiree that since she likes her weather hot, very hot, what else does she like hot? "Hot sex on the beach," is the answer. The audience laughs. Host Amanda asks Dave to recall the fantasy he had. Next, Zack wants to know how Desiree feels about giving butt massages. Desiree says she's really good at working the gluts, and says that the deep tissue will be very, very, very hard. This prompts a fresh gale of laughter from the audience. Beau is up next with his question. He reminds Kavita that she said most women were really anal about their butts, and that she was really anal about her butt. "No pun intended," remarks Kavita. Uh, I think you did mean it, actually. In any case, Beau wants her to stand up and show him her butt. She gets up and shakes it around a bit for him. Beau tells her that there isn't anything wrong with her butt. Kavita thanks him. Kristen wants Desiree to answer this: if she steals her man, how will she deal with her? Desiree responds that if she does steal her man, which she just might do, the real question will be whether Kristen would be ready to deal with her.
Host Amanda then thanks the guests for their questions and gives each woman a chance to give a final plea to the men as to why they should pick them to enter Paradise Hotel. Kavita is up first. She says that despite the fact that they are all sexpots and she'd love to hang out with them, they have great personalities. I think that footage must be on the subscription video. She points out that in Los Angeles it is smoggy, and she wants to get away to Paradise. She then suggests that they could all be roommates. Desiree gives her plea next. She says that it's hot in Paradise, but she can honestly say that she wants to be the hot fudge sundae that cools the boys down. The men seem to like the answer, so she repeats "Hot fudge... with whipped cream." Host Amanda then tells us it is decision time. Alex is selected as the spokesman. He tells Desiree that he loves her tattoo and that she's hot. He then says Kavita seems really genuine, and everybody seemed to really like her. With that, the decision is that the next person to enter Paradise Hotel will be... Kavita! Everybody waves good-bye to Desiree, then host Amanda tells Kavita that she'll have her choice of roommate when she arrives in Paradise. With that, she tells the guests that she'll see them in a few hours and starts leading Kavita to the limousine that will take her to Paradise. As she leaves she once more reminds us that people can go from fan of the show to star of the show by going to paradiseonfox.com.
Next time... a late night kissing game gets out of hand. Zack gets into a jealous rage over Amy. Charla makes a move on Scott. Dave steps over the line with Charla by trying to climb into bed with her. Alex and Beau fight over Amanda. All that, plus Kavita's arrival and roommate selection.
Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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