Paradise Hotel, July 2: If You Didn't Want to be Publicly Humiliated, Why Did You Go on the Show?by Jeffrey Clinard -- 07/03/2003
Welcome back to Paradise Hotel. After last episode’s complex roommate selection process, the couples have shuffled up as follows:
Charla and Dave: Yellow Room
This left Andon left out of a roommate after being rejected by both Amy and Amanda, and he was forced to check out. Then two new women competed for the ticket to Paradise, and eventually the men selected Kavita over Desiree. Host Amanda greets the Los Angeles studio audience from Paradise and the show begins.
The episode starts in Paradise, where the guests are having drinks and discussing the upcoming arrival of Kavita. Kavita had told them the first thing she'd be doing in Paradise would be to find herself a roommate. Dave is sure she won't pick him, though the other guys tell him he's a possibility. Alex notes that Kavita told them she broke hearts and little else. "Wow, sounds like a fun girl, sounds like (guest) Amanda." Uh, if that was sarcasm, why didn't you pick Desiree to join you instead? Toni tells them the ragging session will end right here. She says they'll all get to meet Kavita, hot girl, smoking hottie, and all that. No judgments until she arrives. She then tells us in a confessional that they are always pumped up when somebody new is selected to come, but something crazy always happens.
On that note, one of the guys suggests a kissing contest. Most of the men seem eager to participate in it. Alex and Beau begin to host it. Guest Amanda doesn't seem to think much of the idea, but after Amy says she'll do it, Amanda agrees to go first. She gives quick pecks to each of the guys on the lips, then goes back to her room. She tells us she gave all of them a kiss, just a kiss, no tongue action. Next up is Toni. She gives Scott, Alex, Beau, and Zack some real action, but just gives a quick kiss to Dave. Charla is up next, and she gives longer kisses than guest Amanda to each of the guys, but nowhere near the action level Toni gave. Kristen follows Charla, and gives some pretty good action to everybody, including Dave. More kissing goes on, including Amy kissing Zack and Alex. One of the men noted that this is what it should have been like since the first day there. Kristen, Amy, and Toni all decide to kiss Beau at once, while Zack looks on, clearly jealous. Then Toni and Amy start pretending to make out together. At this point, Zack starts brooding again and starts to leave. Amy asks him where he's going. "Going to bed," he replies. He and Amy start arguing about her and Toni making out. He claims they were kissing. She claims she wasn't. Zack tells her she's lying, but the most Amy will admit to is a few pecks. He's also annoyed that she kissed Alex. He then goes on to say he's better looking than the other men, and that he's cocky about it. "I'm the man," he tells her.
OK, Zack, here's the trouble. You got this package named Amy on your first night together, when the two of you had sex within hours of meeting each other. When you buy into a party girl who is loose with her affections and body, that's exactly what you end up with. She's going to party, she's going to flirt, and she's probably going to run around on you. Nice conservative girls who remain loyal generally don't sleep with men on their first date.
It's 2:30 a.m., and Dave is sleeping in bed and Charla is running around outside. She joins Scott in his bed and climbs on top of him.
Scott: "You can't do this now, you know that?"
Charla: "Do what?"
Charla: "I'm not doing anything. I want to, but I'm not going to."
Scott: "You're pretty, you say the right things, you're dainty, you're quiet, you're elegant, petite, like, just a woman."
Charla: "Is it really hot in here?"
Scott: "Um, I'm really sorry, what?" He then turns on his side.
Charla: "It's just... why are you turning on your side; you're turning sideways there is such a reason."
Scott: "No I'm not, I just don't want to do this. Get your hands off."
Charla: (giggles, sighs). "Why does this always happen to me? Seriously?"
Scott: "Seriously what?"
Charla climbs back on top of Scott. He tells her, "Be the good roommate. You gotta be the good roommate. Go over there and..."
Scott: "I'm sure he's mad."
Charla: "He doesn't have to know."
Scott: "Please, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Excuse me."
Charla: "Why, because you can't perform when you have to pee?"
Scott: "Would you get off?"
Charla gets off him, then asks him, "What if I'm gone when you come back?"
They repeat that a few times, then Scott tells her to go to bed. He tells her she's going to hate him, think he's nuts, but she should trust him. Charla responds that Scott is going to think he's nuts. She leaves.
Later on, Dave is in the big bed and Charla is in the mini bed. She asks him if he's falling asleep. He's not, then asks her if she's crying. She tells him she's fine, though she's obviously upset and in tears. She then tells him she's just going to do what she has to in order to stay. Dave tells her she's doing fine so far, and that she's still there. She tells him if she remains there, she's going to be proud of herself. Dave then tells her there isn't much she can do, and perhaps he should have the new girl pick him for a roommate. Then he can pick her again. Simple strategy. Charla dismisses the idea, telling him Kavita is going to pick who she wants to pick. Dave says she's going to pick Zack, then goes on to say that he's all upset with all the pretty boys he's with. Charla tells him they are all Backstreet Boys, which prompts a laugh from Dave. "Oh, it's so annoying," he says. He muses that eventually somebody is going to want an older, smart guy. Charla tells him to do what he has to do and notes everybody's situation is different. Apparently, Dave takes that as an invitation to jump into bed with her, because he gets out and goes over to her bed, despite Charla telling him NO repeatedly. She warns him not to make her uncomfortable, like he's about to do. With that, he stalks off.
Meanwhile in the Monkey Room, Beau and Amy are sleeping together in the big bed. In the Bird room, Zack and guest Amanda are also sleeping in the same bed, and Zack starts kissing her. After a few moments guest Amanda turns away. The next morning, Amy tells us she's heard what happened between them last night two ways; that guest Amanda made a move on him, and that Zack made a move on her. She tells Zack that she heard he made a move on guest Amanda, and she turned him down. Zack tells us that guest Amanda is playing games with people. In any case, Zack and Amy start fighting. Zack tells Amy that the idea of guest Amanda turning him down was stupid. Amy then tells Zack she was a little hurt by the idea of him making a pass at guest Amanda. Zack responds that Amy hurt him. He then tells her nothing happened. Flashback to 3:00 a.m. where Zack leaned over and kissed guest Amanda in bed. Zack goes on to tell her he wasn't hiding anything, and says she doesn't trust him. She retorts back that she totally trusts him, but then after she heard it, she wanted an explanation. Zack tells her after all the drama around guest Amanda, it's funny she'd believe her over him. Amy's confessional reveals that she was pretty close to guest Amanda, and when she told her what happened, she believed her. Amy later has another chat with guest Amanda, telling her that Zack denied everything. Guest Amanda isn't surprised. Amy then reveals Zack didn't totally deny it, he just implied that if anything did happen, Amanda started it. Once again, we flashback to the scene, where Zack clearly is the one attempting to seduce guest Amanda. Amy tells us she doesn't know who to believe, but she's going to ignore it because she likes the guy. Indeed, she even decides guest Amanda is slanting the truth. She ends up by stating that she's probably going to end up hurt.
O.K., Earth to Zack! Since this is the only reality TV show where new people enter after having seen the episodes, how in the world do you expect your fibs to go undetected? The next guest in will blab the entire truth to Amy if it serves his purpose. Quite frankly, it would be the smart move, attempting to break up their relationship. You're going to get caught red-handed eventually, and it will make the lies seem that much worse when it all comes down.
After all that, host Amanda and new guest Kavita drive up in the limousine to Paradise Hotel. The existing hotel members are waiting poolside to great her. Host Amanda makes the introductions. She then says she's going to give Kavita time to get to know them, because tonight she'll be selecting a roommate. Kavita hugs and greets the hotel guests, repeating her comment from the last episode about Ken-Barbie. They all go to get a drink, then they show her around the grounds and the rooms. Kavita tells us that she thinks Zack is very conscious of himself, likes flattery, and is good looking.
Beau and Zack get together to talk about the new girl. Beau thinks Kavita will pick Zack as a roommate. Zack says he wouldn't mind, because guest Amanda is really inconsistent. Beau tells us that he doesn't know how guest Amanda feels about him, but he hopes she feels likes he does. He reveals that he's never had a serious relationship before and he can't just hook up. Still, as long as he likes Amanda, people can set him off. Beau and Alex get together next, with Alex telling Beau that he's been a different person in the last week. Apparently he talks crap about Amanda. Then he can shut it off and hold and cuddle her. Alex tells him that if he doesn't care about guest Amanda anymore he shouldn't care what he and her do together. Beau tells him he doesn't have a problem with it except that he says one thing about her then does another thing with her. He doesn't like that. Alex asks him if he thinks guest Amanda is deliberately going after him and cuddling with him to get to Beau. Yep, that's exactly what Beau thinks. Plus, it appears to be working. So does it bother Beau? Well, it bothers him that she's doing it on purpose and that Alex is playing along. Alex responds that Beau told him he didn't care about guest Amanda, so why shouldn't he do it? Beau tells him if he doesn't care about her, drop it. Alex retorts that if Beau doesn't care, then HE should drop it. Beau walks off, then tells Alex that he's his friend, and to forget about it. "Oh, shut up," replies Alex.
Alex catches up to Beau, and they resume their feud right in front of guest Amanda and Kristen. Alex tells Beau he's not trying to fight with him, just trying to straighten it out. Beau tells him that if he doesn't want to fight, he can talk to him like a man. This pisses off Alex, who doesn't like to be accused of not being a man, or having Beau walk away from him when he's trying to talk. He tells Beau that he's not a man. Guest Amanda leaves the scene, while Beau and Alex continue to argue about who's a man and who isn't, raising their voices after every sentence. Amanda seeks comfort with Kavita. "I just want to take it all back," sobs guest Amanda.
Toni joins the two of them and asks guest Amanda what happened. She tells her about Beau and Alex fighting. She's trying to make everybody happy, but nobody is. Guest Amanda reveals that Beau thinks she's just flirting with Alex to piss him off. She insists he isn't playing games with him. Toni tells Kavita, "Welcome to hell." Guest Amanda doesn't want to see them fighting anymore. The three girls hug each other.
Cut back to Beau and Alex, each of whom thinks the other has insulted their manhood. They each want to tell each other one thing, but won't listen to the other. In the midst of this, guest Amanda comes into the room to take a shower. Hmm, Amanda, if you didn't want to see them fighting, why did you go back to the room? The guys continue to fight about their manhood, about guest Amanda's flirting, and all that. "Tell me what you want," asks Alex. Guest Amanda comes back into the room and lays it on the line. It's very simple, she's not going to flirt with either one of them anymore. Beau starts to stomp off and guest Amanda tells him she's doing no more flirting with him. Apparently she thinks that will end it, but Beau says the argument isn't over between him and his friend Alex. Beau walks out.
Alex goes off to talk to Kristen and Scott about the fight. He wants to know if he's wrong about the whole thing. Scott tells him it's a tripod situation, with guest Amanda going back and forth between the two of them. He tells him guest Amanda is wrecking his friendship with Beau. Kristen agrees. They both think Alex should work it out with guest Amanda. So later that evening, Alex grabs Amanda off for a private chat. Alex says that the way he sees it, she and Beau never dated, that the two of them were done, they were still friends, and her flirting with him was just flirting. She agrees, then complains that he doesn't consider her when he flirts with Amy, Toni, and Kristen (flashback to the kissing contest and other various flirting). Beau is confusing to her. She doesn't want to talk to Beau about it. Alex thinks somebody should do something. Guest Amanda tells him that she told Beau, but he can't handle it. Alex says that if this ever comes up again, he's going to blow the **** roof off the place. "It's bullcrap," he says, then follows up with "It's Beau-crap." Both of them giggle over that.
Beau talks to guest Amanda on his own. He tells her the fight isn't because he has feelings about her. If she's not flirting just to bug him, it's awesome. However, if she is doing it for that reason, it's wrong. She tells him that either way, it should bother him. He responds that she just doesn't understand. Guest Amanda says they just aren't seeing things eye-to-eye, and that's been their problem all along. Indeed, she tells him that he's the only one that doesn't see it. Beau tells her he's not going to talk to now, because she's the one that doesn't see it. He wants the drama to end.
Uh, Beau, has it occurred to you that YOU are the entire cause of the drama? Let me tell you what is obvious to everybody else – you're jealous. Even after the Pandora's Box game where it came out that guest Amanda cheats on her boyfriends, you remained attracted to her, even if you didn't like that aspect of her personality. You're not suddenly the arbitrator of who guest Amanda can flirt with and for what reason. You don't seem to care about who the other girls flirt with, or with whom you flirt. Come to grips with it, and either rebound to another girl, or go after her with sincerity. You're not looking very good at the moment.
Host Amanda is up next, with the hotel guests clustered around her in the lobby. She once again introduces Kavita and tells them that Kavita is about to make her decision for who she wishes to room with. Kavita begins by saying that hopefully there will be no hard feelings. Um, Kavita, haven't you just witnessed the events of the day, plus those of the previous episodes? That's asking a little much. In an unsurprising move, Kavita selects Zack. She told us last episode that she'd have picked him first and she sticks with her choice. That means guest Amanda will be moving to the single room. Guest Amanda turns over her necklace to Kavita. Host Amanda asks Amy if the choice upsets her. Yes, it does. However, she admits it's a game, and she's gotta play it. Host Amanda asks guest Amanda how she feels, since she'll be the outsider for the rest of the week. Guest Amanda responds that she's used to controversy by now. Host Amanda tells her that she'll need to break up one of the couples to stay at Paradise Hotel, something guest Amanda isn't looking forward to doing. Hmm, more flirting to grab a man... I wonder why she wouldn't like the idea? Host Amanda then reminds us that the girls outnumber the guys, so next time it will be a woman who must leave Paradise forever. Guest Amanda gets the black necklace, and needs to pack up her things and move to the single room.
Guest Amanda begins packing up and asks Zack why he's being so quiet. He tells her it sucks that she has to move out. Guest Amanda agrees, but finishes up packing and Zack helps her carry her bags to the single room. Guest Amanda doesn't like the single room at all. Zack hugs her.
Kavita, meanwhile, tells us that Zack was probably bummed out the first night, but that he also wants to meet a new person. She climbs into the same bed with him and tells him good-night. Meanwhile Beau and Amy are also sharing a bed, and have a "roommate hug." That doesn't compare to the action back in the Bird Room, where Kavita straight-up asks Zack if he wants her. "Yeah, I guess," is his response. Cut back to Beau, who tells Amy she has nothing to worry about. If you only knew. Kavita tells Zack that she needs to be tired to go to bed. Zack asks if he can help her get tired. She says he can. She suggests he rub her arm. He says he can't rub some sexy girl's arm. It cuts to Beau and Amy just sleeping in the same bed, then back to Kavita and Zack, who are doing considerably more.
The next morning, everybody is dining together when a waiter brings another envelope. It reveals a game – another round of Pandora's Box. Either the producers aren't creative enough to come up with a new game or they got the desired results last time out and are going to keep repeating it. Each guest gets to write down a question they want answered by the guest of their choice and put it in the box. That will be the evening's entertainment. So everybody writes down questions for this week. In the evening, they all gather around and the first question is revealed. It's for Scott. The question is, "What's the deal, man? Why haven't you hooked up with anyone in Paradise?" He says it's not really what he's all about, though he admits it might happen later. The next question is for David. Has he hooked up with Charla, and if so, what has he done? He tells them that Charla is his friend and is a really sweet girl, but that by his definition, they have not hooked up. When asked what his definition of hooking up is, he starts to say they haven't... but is interrupted by Charla, who says "Kissed." Dave then finishes his sentence, saying they haven't had sex. Dave is asked if they've kissed. He says almost everybody kissed during the kissing game.
Next up is a question for Charla. "Some say that you talk bad about David behind his back, then act cool to his face. Why do you do that?" Charla begins by saying she's not the only person who has said bad things. She says the only thing she's said was that she didn't like David touching her bare skin. She then says she doesn't like to hurt people's feelings, and should have told him she was irritated. She says she'll try to be more honest in the future. David clenches his lips together and nods. He's obviously hurt and embarrassed by what he's just heard. Some of the other guests are as well.
He later confronts her in their bedroom. He says she embarrassed him in front of everybody. She says she feels as bad as he does. Meanwhile, Zack and Beau sneak up to their bedroom door and start listening in as they talk. They start opening the doors a little too loudly, and Charla turns her head and says that it's obvious they are opening the doors. Dave gets up to confront them, but Beau runs off and Zack hides behind a chair. Dave confronts Zack, who lamely says he's trying to sneak up on Scott. Dave goes back in and closes the door. He tells Charla he's made an extra effort to get to know her and Charla concedes it. He tells her he really liked her and was really embarrassed. He doesn't like feeling embarrassed. She tells him that she didn't come on the show to find love; in fact, nobody came on the show to find love. I have to agree. Lust maybe, or loose sex, but not love. Just ask Zack, Amy, and Kavita.
The next day, Scott and Dave play tennis together and Scott asks how things are between him and Charla. Dave says that things are not so bad, considering what went down last night. He then concedes they have trust issues. Meanwhile, Kavita tells Charla that she wouldn't hook up with Dave, but wants to know if he is fun or if he is annoying. Charla says they could be friends, but when they talked last night, she hurt his feelings. While Dave tells Scott that he tried to tell Charla that most guys would be talking to her, Charla tells Kavita that Dave weirded out when she told him that she wasn't going to hook up or have sex. Then Dave wanted to know why she was there. While Dave lobs tennis balls back at Scott, he says he isn't into the whole public humiliation thing, and hopes she's done with that. Charla tells Kavita that Dave should just be happy he's gotten to sleep in a bed with a girl, but then admits she hasn't slept in the same bed with him yet. Well Dave, your days of public humiliation are just starting – wait until you get home and see the tapes of the show.
That evening, Zack tells Kavita that sometimes there is a girl that is perfect for somebody, and one little thing might make everything fall apart. He then says that maybe he's just broken up with a girl that was perfect for him, and that they didn't realize people had flaws. He continues to talk and laugh with Kavita, while Amy sits nearby, clearly unhappy. She goes over to get comforted by Toni. Toni tells her to leave Zack alone and not to do anything with him tonight. She tells her that Zack is juggling friendship, love, and relationship. He's never had a girlfriend and doesn't know how to show what he's feeling, whereas Amy has had relationships and knows how to show it. She reassures Amy that Zack doesn't know how to express himself, and she can't push that on a guy. She tells him that a guy won't let her know either because he doesn't know how to say it, or that he isn't interested. Amy goes over to Zack, leans on him and says, "Hi," then walks away, saying that she doesn't get it. She tells Toni she got the cold shoulder. Toni steers her away.
Later Amy and Zack have a chat together. Zack says that maybe she should sit down and talk to him instead of asking him what's wrong. He claims she's making him out to be a person he's not. Amy denies it, but Zack insists that she is. He goes on to tell her she keeps saying he's mean and he's always wrong. He doesn't like to be made out to be the bad guy when he's the good guy. He then complains that she tells him her life story, but she's not interesting in hearing his. He then relates a story that his mother dropped him off at a grocery story, and then drove off, leaving him crying. He tells her that she doesn't know anything about why he's the way he is, or why he treats people the way he does. He claims he had no female role model growing up. His way out of things is to work out. He then insists she sit down and talk with him instead of just asking him what's wrong all the time. With that, Amy climbs onto his lap and hugs him.
Host Amanda finishes up the show by telling the Los Angeles studio audience that next week a girl will be checking out, and two new men will make their case for joining the cast of Paradise Hotel. The usual reminder is given that people can go from fan of the show to star of the show by visiting www.paradiseonfox.com.
So will Beau and Alex make up? Will Amanda figure out a way to keep both of them happy? Will Charla continue to publicly humiliate Dave? How will Amy react if she finds out Zack is sleeping with Kavita? Who will leave, and who will be the next to check in? Find out next week.
Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at email@example.com.
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