Big Brother 4, July 9: Slimy Exes

Hey, remember last night when we were told about the big x-factor twist about two dozen times in one hour? Well, in case you don’t remember, we begin tonight with a reminder. Phew, after 24 hours, I had almost forgotten.

To help exhume and beat that horse, we hear from a number of the exes. Jee says when he saw Jun, it made his face turn white. For her part, Jun says they were in a really great relationship – at the beginning. But it really sucked at the end and she doesn’t want to relive it. Scott calls it a bad nightmare and Amanda notes that when they originally moved in together, she found that what was originally fun and endearing became annoying.

Alison, who was so upset when the X factor was originally revealed, says she was so angry, mad, happy, and sad at the same time. Wait. Happy? Why? It think somebody just hit the loop-the-loop on their emotional roller coaster.

For David, it was a feeling of relief that Michelle walked through the door instead of a different ex. Michelle was just like omigod! Erika totally knew it was going to be one of her exes while Robert freaked out because she was the last [bleeping] person he thought he’d see there. But he says he’s here to play the game, so it won’t mess him up. If she stands in his way, she’s gone. Ooooh. I bet she’s quaking in her boots. Well, not really, since she is thinking about trying to manipulate him.

Nathan, one of the three who doesn’t have an ex in the house, says he’s glad it’s not him. He’s going to try to stay out of the spotlight and let the couples duke it out. This is actually a very good strategy. Let’s see if he can follow it for, say, a day.

Amanda says she’ll be annoyed with Scott being there but she’ll hang out and deal with it. At one point, she picks up a pan in the kitchen and Scott (jokingly… more or less) says she’s threatening him with it and needs to go. Somebody saw Big Brother 2 and remembers Reality TV Hall of Shamer Justin Sebik. He later tells her that if he offended her, he apologizes, but the situation sucks. She notes that it doesn’t just suck for him. And on and on. According to Alison, these two provide all the drama in the house with fights and yelling and the like. Scott says the first chance he gets, she’s gone.

Speaking of Alison, she says seeing Justin didn’t stir up any old flames, but did bring in a bit of confusion. Both agree that it was not a dirty breakup (which is a bit different from what they said before they knew the other person would be joining them), Justin says she was more into him than he was into her. He suggests they just get over the fact that both are here and deal with it. Justin says it’s not being sneaky or sly, just honest. But Alison isn’t so sure. She figures he’s kissing her butt but doesn’t know if it’s real. So her strategy for now is to be nice back to him and then stab him in the back.

On the first day, the original eight got to choose their bedrooms. Then the final five came in. It turns out they were given a bed pass that allows them to kick anybody else out of their bed – if they choose to use it. Robert does so, booting Alison from her bed in the blue room. He says it’s nothing personal but he can’t be in the same room with his ex. Alison believes he should sleep in the pool – face down.

Justin, Amanda, and Michelle knew that they would be better off not using the bed pass. Smart move. Jee? Not so smart. He takes Dana’s bed, using the same reason Robert used. Dana says he messed with the wrong person – she’s mad and lets pretty much everybody know it. Jee and Robert, the clueless twosome, discuss it and can’t seem to figure out what the problem is. Jee says “the vibe is really bad.” Thank you Jee, master of the obvious.

As you may recall, Nathan had one of the two double-beds. Well, Michelle (David’s ex) is sharing it with him. She confides to the camera that she isn’t even sure which one Nathan is! But eventually she figures it out and joins him. Alison says that Nathan is a ladies man but little 19-year-old Michelle who knows nothing about nothing is bedding down with him. Nathan and Michelle discuss arrangements, including the fact that he usually sleeps diagonally, so she shouldn’t be alarmed. But then he says she takes up most of the bed and he has just a little bit (it sounds like me and my wife!).

For David’s part, he says he’s not worried because she’s a virgin (remember, she came into the house after that question was asked of the original eight in the food challenge) and no matter what Nathan has up his sleeve, it won’t work. Um, right now I think he just has sleep up his sleeve. But then, a couple on Paradise Hotel did the deed on the first night, so you never know.

The next morning, Jun and Dana make breakfast together. Jun says they have each other’s backs because they are both New Yorkers and tough asses. That’s as good a reason as any at this stage of the game, I suppose. Jun says she loves cooking but right now it’s strategy. Jack recognizes the strategy and then goes back into hiding because he’s not young, sexy, or in the presence of an ex.

Jee asks Jun if she will talk to him; she says no. Ouch. So to make her come around, he gossips about her with some of the others, talking about how she gained weight and he stuck with her “through thick and thin” – ouch, bad pun. The others say it’s all he can talk about. She was 19, he was 15 when they first hooked up. Jun says they were first loves, but it kind of makes her sick right now. They totally went their opposite ways after splitting.

Jee talks to some of the others about taking his dad’s place in family with his mom and sister because his father died in 1999 because, as Jee says, he smoked too much. Jun says she wanted to break up with Jee but then his dad got cancer, so she stayed by his side. She promised his dad that she would take care of him, but goes on to say she just couldn’t. Jee privately acknowledges all that she did for him and thanks her for taking care of him at the time. Er, Jee, wouldn’t that have had a bit more impact if you said it to her?

Ack, what’s that horrid cackling into a microphone?! Has Debbie Allen joined BB4? Oh, no, wait, it’s Jun with instructions for a competition. They all have to squeeze into teeny bikinis. Then they head outside to find a small swimming pool filled with slime. It’s time for the first luxury competition which is, of course, for use of the hot tub.

To win the key to open it up, they need to fill a big clear plastic box with slime from the pool. But they cannot collect the slime from their own bodies. Instead, they must remove it from another person. The box is hooked to a balance and they need to give it enough weight to lift the cover off the key. If they fill the box over the green line, it will definitely be enough; if they get it in the yellow area, it might be enough; if it’s below the red line, it’s not enough. They have seven minutes and then, when it’s over, they release the pin to see if they did it.

They split into teams working together. Several get in pool, get slimy, and then others have to scoop the slime off their bodies. This isn’t working very well at first, until some girls fill the bottoms of their bathing suits with the slime and the guys get it out. Alison thinks of Gerry from last year when his suit was filled with similar slime. Jee realizes that the guys have pockets in their suits, so they can fill ‘em. Jack (remember him?) says it was a lot of damn fun having women feeling you for goop. But the feeling isn’t mutual as Jun is trying to avoid touching Jack but definitely going for David.

After seven minutes, they barely have enough slime in the box to get into the yellow zone. But when Jun pulls pin, the weight is easily enough. The hot tub is theirs!

That night, they all gather in the tub. Jack (wow, he makes another appearance!) says everybody is in a good mood – 13 people having a good time together. Erika, however, says she is always thinking about the game. She didn’t just come to have fun; she’s here to take home the cash.

She isn’t the only one playing the game. Later, a few players realize that, hey, some people are forming alliances and strategies. Like, wow man. The original eight, now named the Elite 8, are all together as far as Scott can tell. The other five need to go. Alison tells Jun she plans to kiss Justin’s ass and then he has to go. She tells him that she’d rather he be there because at least she knows him. Liar! They agree to keep it a secret and he says he’ll keep his word. Privately, she says she needs him out because she cares about him and it’ll mess up her game. Well, at least she’s not whining about how upset her current boyfriend will be anymore. She seems to have completely forgotten about him.

Nathan, Scott, and Alison discuss Justin and Robert going, but they say they can’t put both up against each other. Um, why not? That’s not really made clear. Then Jun, Alison, and Nathan go into the bathroom together – and by “bathroom” I don’t just mean the room with the bath, but the little toilet area. As they are in there talking, Jee walks into the shower area and then quickly leaves. Meanwhile, Jun shows knowledge of BBs past by saying that history shows if you put up somebody who obviously has to go, they never go. Ah, the voice of reason, finally!

Jee goes back to talk to Robert and Justin, his fellow guy exes, and says he heard three people in the bathroom, but he walked away without listening because he didn’t want to get caught. Dummy! He could have just stayed right there and pretended to be doing something in the bathroom area, meanwhile overhearing their plans! Justin says the three of them should stick together.

A message comes on the mini-tv for the HouseGuests (what is the deal with the little screen this year?) saying the power is up for grabs. A bunch of them walk around like, “Duh, what’s that mean?” Scott says it’s HOH (Head of Household) time. Give that man a cee-gar! Privately, Justin says he would definitely go for HOH – why wouldn’t he? Indeed. Scott wants it, but if somebody else in the Elite 8 gets it, they’ll do the dirty work for him. Alison says one of original eight has to win it. Has to!

Julie Chen tells us about the HOH, for those people who didn’t watch last year. HOH gets laundry privileges, a specially stocked refrigerator, and a locking door to his/her own room. Also, HOH nominates two people for eviction. As before, the same person cannot be HOH two weeks in a row.

To begin the competition, each person has to choose a partner, meaning one will immediately be ineligible because s/he has no partner; but Julie assures them that person will still play an important role. Scott immediately says he’ll sacrifice himself. Jee pairs up with Erika and says it plays well with his plans (along with Robert and Justin) so Erika can’t get HOH. Huh? Jack and David partner up and Jun says it was obvious – um, what was? These people are making cryptic comments and I really wish they would explain themselves a bit more.

The two people have to decide on one to be a sitter and one to be a kneeler. Jeez, this sounds like The Mole. Then they go out to the backyard, where the kneelers strap in sitters to nice relaxing lawn chairs. Did I mention the buckets of fresh fish chum (guts) balanced above the sitters’ heads? The kneelers put one knee on a trigger button and the other foot on square a couple feet away. If they release the button, their partner gets chummed. The last team chum-free has a chance to win HOH.

After eight minutes, David – the Army Ranger – loses his balance and Jack gets chummed. He says he’s disappointed because he could have beaten them all. Er, then why didn’t you? Amanda thinks it might have been planned, but nothing David says indicates that – he’s just amused that fish guts got dumped on Jack.

A bit later, Michelle is in too much pain and finally falls, chumming Amanda. Amanda thinks Michelle could have stayed a little longer. But “a little longer” wouldn’t have cut it anyway as the next team doesn’t go out until after 24 minutes, when Dana says she can’t do it anymore and slips off, dumping on Jun. Then, after 30 minutes, Erika gets dumped by Jee. Well, I guess he made sure she wouldn’t get HOH – but neither will he.

The only two teams remaining are Nathan/Alison and Robert/Justin. Nathan offers a deal for Robert and Justin to give up and he or Alison won’t nominate them this week. They take the bait, er, chum.

So it’s Alison and Nathan in the finals. Now Scott gets to play his important role. It’s simple – he decides which one, Nathan or Alison, wins HOH. He picks Nathan for his strength and determination in kneeling and says he respects him for that. Alison says she’s happy it was Nathan instead of her because she has a couple alliances going on. Nathan says he will honor the deal and has a pretty good idea who he’ll nominate.

So who will it be? David says right now the plan is still to get rid of the exes, but things change and he doesn’t know what might happen. So who will be nominated? Find out Friday – or if you want to know sooner, check back with our BB4 Spoiler Page and we’ll see if we can hook you up with that information!

David Bloomberg is the Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.

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