The Amazing Race 4, Episode 7: Moley, Moley, Moley!

Previously on The Amazing Race, seven teams left the pit stop in Amsterdam and headed to Mumbai, India. On a very emotional leg, many teams were faced with observing a kind of poverty they had never seen before. Crowded trains proved to be a daunting task for most teams, but especially for the women. Tian & Jaree finally went a leg without fighting and a fishy roadblock proved to be a little too much for The Supremes, Monica & Sheree, as they were the last team to the pit stop and were eliminated from the race. Six teams are left, let’s take a look at who is left, the order they will be leaving the pit stop, and their current status.

Dave & Jeff (The Goats) – Best friends/Finally getting airtime now that they placed first
Reichen & Chip – Married gay couple/All-around good guys who need a break
Kelly & Jon – Engaged couple/My pick to win/Sentimental favorites/Funny as hell
Millie & Chuck (Chillie) – Dating 12 years/Virgins/Sexually frustrated to the max
Tian & Jaree (The Models) – Models/Actresses/Singers/Sentimental favorites
Jon & Al (The Clowns) – Best friends/Circus clowns/Good source for entertainment

We begin in Mumbai, India. A city that is smaller in area than Los Angeles, yet still holds over 18 million people. The pit stop: The Gateway of India. Teams have 12 hours to rest, eat, and bond. Will the Models continue to work together without bickering, or will they clash once again? Can the clowns avoid elimination and another next to last place finish? Will I go an entire article without saying I love Kelly? Oops, I just did… so I guess not. I promise though, that’s the only time I’ll do it this week.

The Goats are the first to leave the pit stop at 12:51 a.m. The route info tells them to take the train to Panvel station and get to Ernakulam junction. This ride will be about 860 miles. Jeff states that their team has a good shot at winning this thing now that they feel they have stepped it up a notch mentally. They jump in a cab that they had reserved from the day before. Right after they leave, Reichen & Chip head out a minute later. Chip says he knows he needs to think about the decisions he makes because sometime he may jump the gun. Kelly & Jon leave at 1:19 a.m. and Kelly says that she knows she is high maintenance but trying not to be for the sake of the team. However, she wants Jon to realize she is part of the team and to include her more.

Chillie leave the pit stop at 1:34 a.m. and Millie says that things between her and Chuck are starting to get a little tense. She also states that they want to change things and are going to treat each other better and be nicer…as friends. Now, I’m not sure if she was implying that possibly she doesn’t want to continue with Chuck, or if that just came across the wrong way. Either or, they are going to try and work together more as a team.

The Models head out at 1:34 a.m. with Jaree stating that they are working together more easily and both of them are keeping a positive attitude. The last team to leave the pit stop is the Clowns. They head out at 1:37 a.m. They both talk about how they know they need to pay more attention to minor details if they want to win the race. They have a competitive look about them that really makes me root for them.

Pretty much every team grabs a cab and heads out to Panvel station. The Clowns pull a smart move and ask their cab driver for tips about the area. He is happy to give them information. Kelly & Jon head to the Victoria terminal train station instead of going right to the Panvel station in order to save money on cab fare. They see that it’s closed and head to a hotel for the night while fighting about what time they are going to catch the train the next morning.

The taxi driver for the Models decided it would be in everyone’s best interest to drive on the wrong side of the road. The Models look like they are going to die of shock and fear and I can’t say I blame them. I’m sorry, but how did he end up on that side of the road to begin with?!? The Goats arrive at a train station, but find out it is the wrong one. They are at the OLD Panvel station. Apparently, there is a new one and it’s pretty close, so it’s not a problem. They are the first to get to the correct train station, but find out it is closed as well. They are concerned about sleeping there because people are starting to gather around them. Chillie, the Models, and Reichen & Chip all get to the train station soon after. All decide that since they are together, they will all just sleep on the concrete there. The Clowns opt for Victoria terminal and spend the night in a hotel. In the morning, Kelly & Jon are still fighting about the early train. They get on and head to Panvel train station. The clowns are following them a few trains after.

On the train, Kelly talks about how she was groped last time and she doesn’t want that to happen again. She tells Jon several times that she doesn’t want it to happen, and in a playing manner, Jon grabs her. Kelly doesn’t seem too amused and tells him that she is not talking to him for 24 hours. When they get to Panvel station, Kelly continues to be pissed at him. Girls are so sensitive about being groped, I guess I understand. I goosed some girl when I was younger while we were playing “Red Rover” and she didn’t appreciate it one bit. I learned the hard way when she slugged me. Anyway, the Clowns also get to Panvel station and all the teams are together again. The train pulls off and they are on their way for this 26-hour train ride. Reichen says the train smells while Jaree agrees with that sentiment and adds that it’s gross and the conditions are worse than having to “rough it.” All the teams except Chillie decide to upgrade their seating to first class for about $15 a person. Chillie want to save money, but I think it was worth it to upgrade if the ride is so long. Comfort would definitely be an issue and even the Clowns say it is much more comfortable in first class. The Models seem happy with it as well.

Chillie are sitting in their seats saying that they are by themselves, as usual. Chuck says that they haven’t really bonded with the rest of the teams the way that all the other teams already have. Millie agrees. Then, we cut to Jon & Kelly, who are making fun of Millie the Mole and Chuck (aka Werewolf). They continually say “Moley, Moley, Moley,” making fun of the mole Millie has above her lip. Then, they talk about Chuck looking like he is in phase two of becoming a werewolf. They try to make Reichen & Chip do the “Moley, Moley” thing as well, but they refuse, yet still laugh. I’m sorry, it was a little mean, but I was cracking up. Jon says that with stress, Millie’s mole gets bigger. I’m going to agree with him on this one.

The train finally gets into the station and the teams are off. The Goats are the first to get a taxi and they head out on highway 47 looking for a billboard that will have their next piece of route info. Reichen & Chip waste some time asking drivers how much fuel they have. As the taxis are going down the highway, Jon & Kelly wave to Chillie but are ignored. Kelly asks Jon if he said anything to Millie to upset her and Jon replies “Moley, Moley, Moley.” I laugh a little more. All the teams are searching, but the Goats find the billboard first. It tells them they have to find the sports field in Alleppey. Their next clue is there. Shortly after the Goats, the Models, Clowns, Chillie, and Jon & Kelly also find the billboard. They also read the clue and head out again.

Bad luck then strikes. Chillie’s cab runs out of gas. Their driver stops to fill up, and it’s odd to see that it’s a woman that is pumping their gas. I guess that is the way things are done over there. After the fill-up, they are off. Reichen & Chip get to the billboard and quickly head to the sports field in Alleppey. Poor Chillie’s cab has more problems and starts to overheat. The driver stops again and starts adding water to the radiator. They start stressing and try to look for another cab. Meanwhile, the taxi that Reichen & Chip are in starts to run really low on fuel and they have to stop for gas; how ironic. Chillie are back on the road!

The Goats get to the sports field first and the Clowns are right behind them. Time for a Roadblock! Who can put up with a lot of bull? Well, in this task, teams must take part in a sport called Bull Racing. One team member must hang on to a team of bulls while they race on a mud track that is the length of a football field. Only one team can go at a time, so a line must form if more than one is ready to go. Dave goes first. Al does it for the clowns. Just then, the Models, along with Kelly & Jon, get to the Roadblock. Tian and Jon do it for their teams. Dave is off and hangs on the whole way.

The clue tells them to find the route marker on Beach Road. That is where they will find their next clue. They jump in a cab and are off, not to mention dirty.

Al is doing the roadblock now and it looks like he gets it worse than Dave did. He still finishes, gets the clue, and the Clowns head of in a taxi. Tian is ready to go and Jaree is cheering her on. Right off the bat, Tian lets go. Jon is up and makes it the whole way. Kelly & Jon get their clue, hail a taxi, and are off. Tian goes again, and flops. Chillie has arrived. Tian goes AGAIN. Chillie decide that Chuck will do this one. Tian finally makes it this time around and Jaree is psyched. Tian is happy and pissed at the same time as they get their clue and head off. Reichen & Chip on the other hand, are still looking for the sports field. Chuck finishes the roadblock and they jump in a cab. Reichen & Chip arrive and decide Reichen will do it. He doesn’t seem all that happy, but finishes it the first time around.

On Beach Road, the Clowns and Goats find the route marker at the same time. It’s a Detour. Baskets or Trunks? In Baskets, 10 chickens must be placed into a wagon and delivered to a chicken farm with the bike provided. The hot sun will be exhausting, but the bike moves as fast as you want to peddle. In Trunks, two bails of fabric must be placed on an elephant, and delivered to a shop. It is not a tiring task, but you only travel as fast as the elephant can walk. Teams must deliver their cargo to get the next clue. The Clowns and Goats both choose to do Trunks. Kelly & Jon get there and choose trunks as well. they are all on their way. Dave says that it’s tough riding the elephant because their spinal cord digs into your “friendly family.” I have to admit, I never heard that expression before, but it’s definitely a keeper. The Models get there and even though Tian wants to do Baskets, she does Trunks because Jaree really wants to ride an elephant. Chillie also choose Trunks. The Models forget their cargo and this allows Chillie to pass them. They finally get their cargo and are off. Reichen & Chip get to the detour and are the only team to choose Baskets. They quickly load the chickens and are off.

Jon, from Kelly & Jon says that he hated the elephant and says it was painful. Kelly agrees and says that her “cookie” hurts. I’m sorry, but the two of them really cracked me up in this episode. Along with “friendly family,” I wasn’t sure how much more of the innuendos I could take!

The Goats and Clowns both deliver their fabric and they both receive the next clue telling them to get to the pit stop, The Finishing Point, a waterside spot. The last team there will be eliminated. Both teams move like lighting. Jon & Kelly may be lost, while Reichen & Chip are trying to deliver the chickens. The Goats are at the pit stop and Phil tells them they are team number one. The also win a seven-night cruise. Life is good for Dave & Jeff! Phil then tells Dave to shower. The clowns check in right after the goats as team number two.

Chillie, along with Jon & Kelly, find the shop and drop off the fabric. They are on their way to the pit stop. The Models are lost, while Reichen & Chip are all tied up. Finally though, Reichen & Chip do find the chicken farm, around the same time the Models get to the shop to drop off the fabric. Both unload their cargo and head for the pit stop. Jon & Kelly check in third and Chillie check in fourth. Both teams are happy.

Time for the race to the pit stop! Both teams seem to be moving as fast as they can. I have to admit, this is nuts because I have no idea which team is going to be eliminated. Who will it be? Reichen & Chip! They get to the mat and Phil tells them they are fifth, and still in the race! Both of them seem to be in shock. I don’t think they thought they were still in this. The Models run to the mat, and honestly, I think they thought they were safe. Phil tells them they are last and that they are eliminated. They look so disappointed. But Tian says that she is not going to be disappointed because she had so much fun. Jaree is sad and says that they are both strong. She also says that she is happy to see they can work together. Tian adds that they start to work together, and get eliminated. When they fought, they stuck around. That is pretty funny though! Next week, looks like it’s going to be a tight squeeze for some teams, while others have to push! Maybe they have to have babies! Also, a rough ride to the detour catches some teams off guard.

I feel like a Jerry Springer episode. Here is my final thought: If the models had just remembered to grab the cargo, they would have probably still been in the race! If they had chosen Baskets, they probably would have still been in the race. If they fought, they probably would have still been in the race. Regardless, I have learned to love them.

Now, the teams I love: Jon & Kelly, Reichen & Chip. I like these teams: The Clowns and the Goats. I don’t like Chillie. I don’t know what it is, but they still rub me the wrong way. Not so much Chuck, but Millie. They are good racers, though; I have to give them that. I was way wrong when I picked them to be one of the first three teams eliminated; however, all three teams I picked to make it to the end are still there: The Clowns, Jon & Kelly, and Reichen & Chip. Maybe I’m not so bad at this! I’m thinking next week is non-elimination since this episode was an elimination round. We’ll have to see!

Phil Kural is a senior at Temple University, and can be reached at pkural@temple.edu.

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