Paradise Hotel, July 14: Now Playing: Boogie Nights and Jason the Ex

Welcome back to Paradise Hotel. When we last left the guests, they were living in the hotel as follows:

Charla and Matt: Yellow Room
Kristin and Zack: Bird Room
Amanda and Beau: Monkey Room
Toni and Scott: Blue Room
Amy and Alex: Butterfly Room
Dave: Single Room
Jason: Guest Room

We begin our adventure in Paradise with Amy asking guest Amanda, "What's going on with Jason?" Guest Amanda says that Jason wants to be with her and wants her to go home with him. Amy asks her how she feels about it; does she want to start with him? She says she does. Later on, Jason and guest Amanda talk, with Jason asking her to leave with him. In confessional, guest Amanda says that Jason is the only guy she's ever really wanted to have want her for a girlfriend. She tells Jason that she wants him, but she doesn't want to leave Paradise. She's confused. As Jason and guest Amanda frolic in the pool together, guest Amanda reminds us that they only broke up because she moved and they couldn't handle the long distance relationship. She claims they both know each other inside and out.

Meanwhile, Beau tells Zack that Jason is in love with guest Amanda. He feels sorry for the guy, because while Jason claims guest Amanda hasn't cheated on him, Beau claims that Jason's just the guy she hasn't cheated on yet. He goes on to say that she is now saying she has no attraction for him, even though she was the one who wanted the relationship to begin with. Zack tells him that guest Amanda has dug herself a hole with her relationships with both Alex and Beau. "Is anyone gonna want Amanda now that this guy's come?" he asks. Beau immediately says no.

Later on, Beau confronts Amanda, telling her she's distanced herself from everybody. She concedes she has and she feels bad about it. Doesn't look like it from my perspective. She reveals that Jason wants her to leave with him. Beau responds by stating that she still has feelings for him. "Totally," she replies. Beau says it's a big decision, and wonders if the only reason she was at Paradise Hotel was to have a relationship. She says she never wanted a relationship with Beau. Flashback to when she told Beau she thought her mom would think he was adorable and her dad would like him. Guest Amanda - give up the lies already. The guests aren't letting you get away with them, the producers aren't letting you get away with them, and I'm not letting you get away with them.

Beau later chats with Jason, telling him it's cool he and guest Amanda have their relationship. He says he'd like a good relationship. Jason tells him girls are hard to understand, a sentiment Beau agrees with. They hit the bar together, but we get a flashback of Beau telling Alex he'd tell Jason everything about what's been happening and how guest Amanda has been behaving. Time for the gossip to begin. Beau tells Jason that within eight hours of meeting him, guest Amanda said she'd be jealous if he even went and talked to another girl. Jason tells Beau that within two months of knowing her, she was picking out baby names. He thinks that was a little intense. Beau complains about guest Amanda nagging him and Jason agrees, pitching in that her voice is aggravating. OK, guys, is this the girl you really want to fight over? You both should be running, not walking, in the opposite direction!

Over in the Yellow Room, Matt tells Charla he's in a lot of pain. Apparently his back is killing him. I think he's hinting he'd like a massage, but Charla tells us in voiceover that she doesn't trust Matt: he's got shifty eyes and shifty hands. Matt wants to know what Charla thinks about him. She tells him she felt a lot more comfortable with him the first night than she does now. Flashback to the massages they gave each other on their first night. Now she's not comfortable with all the cuddling. In confessional, she admits she's aloof and distant because she's just that kind of a person. I think the proper label is introvert - I know; I'm one myself. Matt goes on to tell her she's sweet candy, but he can't get the wrapper off. He says it's hard to not touch her sometimes because she's so cute. She says he doesn't have to say stuff like that, but he says he does. He then touches her briefly and tells her to "deal with it." She deals with it by getting off the bed and leaving the room.

That evening, a staff member tells the assembled guests that a party will start in exactly ten minutes. They've made one of the ballrooms out to be a discotheque. Everybody starts dancing with people other than their roommates. Charla makes suggestive moves with Scott, while Toni gives Alex a lap dance. Charla tells us that disco night was the most fun she's had at the hotel. Dave agrees, and Scott and Beau tell him he's officially part of the group. Dave thinks he's going home, but they disagree with him. They want him to stay with the girls, but Dave thinks the girls like Matt too much.

Toni and Alex are doing some necking, and Toni tells him she wants to stay with him. Alex says she can do whatever she wants with him. So they go off to a bedroom, get in bed (clothes still on), and continue their passion. Suddenly, Alex gets up, goes to the bathroom, and throws up. She thanks him for the smell, and he tells her to shut up. “'I made out with Toni, then I threw up,'” she snaps. “That's fabulous! So good for my rep!”

The next day, Alex, Scott, and Beau talk about the upcoming eviction. If any of them have to go, they want it to be Matt. Beau tells us the last week has been a roller coaster and nobody knows where the turns are. The group wonders who Matt will pick. We cut to the Yellow Room, where Matt notes how high the tensions are. People are whispering to each other and trying to figure out who will select whom under various scenarios. Matt tells us privately that he's still an outsider, but with so many twists, nobody knows what will happen. The group later wonders where guest Amanda is. Well, she's making out with Jason in one of the guest rooms, that's where! Beau tells us that Jason's presence took the pressure off of him, because the girls know he's free. Several people are bothered that on decision day, guest Amanda isn't with them to help make decisions. Alex tells everybody his first pick will be Kristin. Beau says that he's screwed, then goes off to tell Kristin, and says they've got to figure out a way for him not to pick her. She's his number one choice as well. In confessional, Alex says that two days ago, Beau was all upset about his flirting with guest Amanda, said their friendship meant nothing, and that he was a horrible person; now Beau wants him to save him from going home - all out of a situation Beau put himself in. He thinks it says a lot about Beau. Zack's confessional also focuses on Alex and Beau; he tells us they call each other "friend" but they don't act like it. Elsewhere, Beau, Kristin, and Toni talk, and Kristin says they need to come up with a new plan. Beau says they've already tried and it won't work.

As the guests swim that evening, Toni raves about Matt, saying how full of life, energy, and personality he is. He's totally cool. Later, Beau catches a live scorpion. Toni tells him to take it away from her, but Beau makes it a trust issue. She's not buying that, telling him she doesn't trust him with it, and for him to watch his words. She tells him trust is over. He tells her to shut up and the real fireworks begin. "Excuse me?" she asks. He says he just wanted her to trust him, but she wants to know why he told her to shut up. He responds he just wanted her to trust him with the bug, but she tells him he only gets one freebie with the "shut up" remark. Nobody talks to her like that - not even her parents! She tells him to remember that.

The next day, Scott and Dave discuss strategy. Dave suggests that one of them should pick guest Amanda. Scott thinks Dave should pick her. Dave asks why it would make more sense for him to pick her over Scott, unless Scott's going to pick Toni again. Scott says he's not going to. Later, Scott tells Zack he thinks there will be some interesting twists and some drama. Scott decides that as much as he likes Dave, he has to watch out for himself first. Zack agrees; then Dave walks in. Apparently they all agree that guest Amanda is the X-factor, and nobody wants to risk their fate on her. Dave is torn because he doesn't trust guest Amanda either. You know what, guys? I wouldn't trust her to spit on me if I were on fire. As Dave packs, he tells us he thinks he's screwed because he thinks Scott is picking Charla and she's agreed to pick him. He decides he's either going to pick somebody else and hope they pick him, or else just pick Charla anyway and hope she picks him. Uh, I think that covers about every situation, Dave. In any event, he doesn't think he'll be picked and thinks he's going home.

Back to Jason and guest Amanda. Jason tells her he's in love with her and asks her why she wants to stay so badly. She tells him that if she leaves, she'll always wonder what she missed. She needs to find out for herself. He says he doesn't want to sound selfish, but he wants her to hurry up and be with him. She recalls various memories (shown to us via flashbacks) of her time at Paradise Hotel: her entrance, the moment she picked Beau, the luxury excursions, the fights, the tears, the kissing, etc. She says it's going to be the hardest decision she's ever made. As they talk, staff member Alex comes in and tells Jason a staff car will be arriving at 8:00 to pick him up. Jason tells guest Amanda he wants her to go with him. She tells him that she knows it took a lot for him to come to Paradise Hotel, but she feels lucky to be there as well, and wants to finish the experience. So she's staying. She watches as he packs up and thanks him for coming. She tells him she loves him with all her heart (I guess all that flirting and kissing with Beau, Matt, and Alex didn't mean anything), then tells him to stop crying. He tells her he loves her and they kiss each other goodbye. With that, Jason leaves Paradise forever.

It's roommate selection time; as usual, the guys each need to pick the woman with whom they wish to room for the next week. Host Amanda reminds us that after the selections are made, one of the men will be checking out of Paradise Hotel forever. This week, there are no restrictions, so the men can pick any woman they want. We learn that the order in which the men select was determined by a random draw; Dave gets to pick first. A flashback is shown of him talking about the Charla/Scott arrangement. He stops for a moment by Charla, then moves away and selects guest Amanda. Charla gives him a dirty look. Well, Charla, if you hadn't publicly humiliated him, perhaps he might have picked you. To be honest, if you'd treated me like you treated Dave, I'd rather have gone home than room with you. You should be happy - you won't have to worry as much about him accidentally touching your bare skin. Host Amanda asks him why he picked guest Amanda over Charla. He responds that guest Amanda is a great girl (uh, if you say so Dave), and he’d gotten word that if he picked Charla, he'd be going home. Now Charla looks extremely put out. Cry me a river.

Matt has the next pick. Before he selects, host Amanda asks him if he can say what's it's like to actually be on the show. He tells her it was easier back home on the couch, but he's had a good time. Matt chooses Toni. We get the flashback of him during selection where he said he'd trust Toni the most. Beau is next to pick, and host Amanda asks him if it is fair to say that he and guest Amanda have had their ups and downs. After a flashback of one of their "downs," Beau picks Toni. "Oh, why me?" asks Toni, in clear reference to two weeks ago when she also had to make a choice between men. Beau tells us Toni is awesome and that's why he's picking her. Scott's turn. He picks Charla, just as Dave suspected. Host Amanda tells us Scott and Charla have had a strong bond since day one and wants to know if this is why Scott picked her. Scott tells her it is. He understands her, thinks a few of the other people are just starting to understand her, and thinks she's a great person. Charla is happy again and thanks Scott. It's time for Zack to pick. He picks Amy. Host Amanda asks him if she even has to ask why; he tells her no. Yes, Zack, we all know the score - you've been having sex with her from day one. Alex is the last to pick. He picks Kristin, noting in voiceover that he could make with Toni and still pick Kristin because it was the smartest decision. I have to agree. Look what happened to Andon when he ignored two available women: he ended up checking out because he was rejected twice.

So four couples have been formed: guest Amanda & Dave, Scott & Charla, Kristin & Alex, and Zack & Amy. They go sit on the couch while Toni chooses between Matt and Beau, with the rejected man forced to check out. We get flashbacks of the Beau and Toni’s fight contrasted with Toni and Matt kissing in the pool. Toni tells Beau she loves him like a brother and thinks the world of him. She tells Matt he's amazing and an amazing guitar player, but she wants to keep Beau. It's a tough thing, and she didn't want to send him home, but she places the necklace around Beau's neck and they are officially roommates for the next week. She hugs Matt and asks him to forgive her, and with that, host Amanda takes him away to check out of Paradise Hotel forever. As he leaves, he gives parting advice for new people coming into the hotel: Don't come on strong; just get to know everybody at the hotel and trust them. If they don't give a reason to trust them back, then start playing the game.

Back in the Los Angeles studio, host Amanda notes that Matt's stay was short and reminds us that every time somebody checks out, a member of the opposite sex must check in. She then introduces the world's most famous hotel guests via satellite - the cast of Paradise Hotel. After the introduction, host Amanda informs us that the paradiseonfox.com website has been flooded with applications to join the show, and tonight the gentlemen of the hotel will choose which woman gets a ticket to Paradise. The first girl is a 21-year-old student from Lake Elsinore, California, Tara Gerard. I know exactly where Lake Elsinore is because they have a minor league baseball team, the Lake Elsinore Storm, and I used to go to their baseball field (called "The Diamond") to watch my own favorite team (the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes) when they played there. The city is mostly known for its skydiving. In any case, Tara's audition video starts with her taking off a motorcycle helmet and telling us she'd always been a girly-girl - until she got her bike. Now she's still a girly-girl - but with machine in between her legs. As she golfs, she tells us that she doesn't think she'll turn into a tomboy even though she loves boy activities. She'll always be a girly-girl. She likes to laugh and to make people laugh. As far as the “prude-to-nude” scale, she’s somewhere in the middle. She promises she'll bring humor, personality, and tons of bikinis if the men select her. Host Amanda tells us that a girl can never have too many shoes or too many bikinis! Uh, I'd have to disagree. I mean, I don't WANT to see Roseanne Arnold or Rosie O'Donnell in a bikini. Host Amanda asks Tara if any of the men at the hotel are her particular type, and if not, what is her type of man. Tara says she has two words for that - Jim Carrey. She's heard Alex is a bit of an Ace Ventura type, so maybe Alex is her type. Alex agrees with Tara and is obviously pleased with her answer.

The other candidate is a 21-year-old bartender from Kaffel, Texas, Lauren Gustafson. Her audition video shows us that she works at Coyote Ugly, just like the movie. She and the other bartenders are shown on the video dancing and going crazy. She tells us she loves to clog and dance on the bar and is a big exhibitionist. She's a performer who loves to be in the limelight. She a very very good girl, but she has a wild side. She's popular with the guys because of her stomach; men love it. She promises to stir up the pot if she goes to Paradise Hotel. Host Amanda says she can practically hear the knocking sound as she taps Lauren's stomach. Does she work out? "Not really," she shrugs. Host Amanda tells us she hates her now; then asks Lauren if there is any specific guy at Paradise Hotel she has the hots for. She thinks Beau is pretty hot. Beau nods his head in agreement. Lauren goes on to say that Alex is cute also, and maybe Zack. Both these men look pleased, but Dave looks glum, even after she amends that all the men are adorable.

Time for questions. Beau is up first with one for Lauren. He reminds her that she said she was an exhibitionist, then asks her to show him something that they haven't seen already. She says she has a tattoo. She pulls down her pants and shows it to them: a butterfly on her lower back just above the buttocks. Host Amanda comments that a butterfly is appropriate (when scenes with the guests start, captions with their names are shown along with a butterfly landing). Zack is up next and tells Tara they saw her with a machine between her legs. What else does she like to ride? Tara laughs, and says she knew that was coming. She says it's a secret. Guest Amanda tells Lauren that the last girl (Kavita) didn't last very long. So how would she last? Lauren responds that she's not a drama queen like some people. The men smirk at the answer. Guest Amanda doesn't, probably because Lauren caught her in her own trap. Scott notes that Tara is athletic, and wants to know how she feels about mud wrestling with him! "Yeah! I LOVE mud!" she replies. "I challenge you to a mud-wrestling contest." Dave tells Lauren he hears she puts on a great clogging act. He wants to see part of her show. She gets up and does it. Beau asks to see her bellybutton. She's wearing a mostly unbuttoned shirt that doesn't exactly cover it, but she opens it up and shows it with its piercing and jewelry. Then the only button on her shirt pops open, and the cast gets a good look at her bra before she covers up. Beau gets up and shows her that he can do Riverdance! Well, I've never seen Riverdance, despite living in Las Vegas for for years where there are productions shown twice nightly, but I'm pretty sure Michael Flatley wouldn't approve. Dave has another question, this one for Tara. He's cutting to the chase with this one - if she met the right guy at Paradise Hotel, how willing would she be to hook up? She responds with "Why don't you bring me there and find out?"

With the questions over, host Amanda allows each girl to give a final plea to the men as to why they should choose them. The girls take their stands and Tara starts. She tells the cast that she's watched all the shows and admires every single one of them. They are wonderful people, and she'd be honored if they’d let her come and play in Paradise. She notes they are a tight bunch, but she'd love to get to know each and every one of them on a personal level. "Choose me, and I'll rev it up!" she promises.

Lauren starts by saying that from watching them on TV, they all seem like very genuine, neat, fun people. She thinks it would be a blessing to go out there and meet everybody there. "With that, bring on Paradise, and bring on the fun!" she declares.

Decision time. Beau is the spokesman this week. He tells the candidates they are both beautiful young ladies who will go far no matter what happens. He tells Tara she's beautiful, she's awesome, and she'll bring a lot to Paradise Hotel if she comes. He tells Lauren she's spunky and fun. And the next person to join Paradise Hotel is... Tara! Host Amanda dismisses Lauren, then asks Tara how she feels. "Wonderful," she gushes. Host Amanda then tells her that when she arrives, she'll be spending the first week without a roommate. "Really?" she asks, as her mouth drops open. Toni's jaw drops as well. Guest Amanda and Amy don't look happy either. Host Amanda then goes on to say that at the end of the week, Tara will get to pick a roommate and break apart one of the couples, forcing one of the existing guests to check out of Paradise forever. None of the existing guests like that news. So as host Amanda leads Tara to the limousine that will take them to Paradise Hotel, she reminds the audience that they can go from fan of the show to star of the show by visiting paradiseonfox.com.

Frankly, I was hoping the producers would do something about the revolving door of new guests. Dave is the only new person to last longer than a week, due largely to his initial selection of guest Amanda, which allowed him to jump to the unpopular Charla at the next selection, when guests couldn't pick their existing roommate. He then jumped back to the now unpopular guest Amanda to survive another two weeks. Kavita and Matt both picked popular people (Beau and Toni respectively) and were eliminated because of it. I think they should have been starting people in the single room and then letting them have free choice at the next selection all along. Since the program is designed to keep introducing new people, it's time they finally put a mechanism in place to actually give the new guests a chance at staying.

Next time on Paradise Hotel: Tara keeps her promise to Scott by mud wrestling him. Toni expresses her desire to kill Tara. Enemies are made and friendships are destroyed. Project: Terminate Her is formed in order to insure a certain female guest is evicted - but which one is it? My guess is guest Amanda (and I hope it is, because it's tiring to differentiate between her and host Amanda), but we'll find out on Wednesday night, with the recap to follow.

Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at jclinard@flashmail.com.

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