Paradise Hotel, July 16: Fighting Dirtyby Jeffrey Clinard -- 07/18/2003
When we last left Paradise, Matt had checked out and Tara had been chosen to join the cast at Paradise Hotel. However, unlike previous guests, she'll be spending her first week in the single room, while the other couples are rooming together as follows:
Charla and Scott: Yellow Room
The episode begins with the hotel guests reacting to the news that next week, one of the existing girls will be gone as after a week in the single room, new guest Tara will have first and exclusive pick of the men. Dave notes that the women are shaking in their boots, and Toni promptly tells him to shut up. Hey, Toni, you got into a big fight with Beau last time when he told you to shut up. Yet it's OK for you to tell others that? Toni starts to throw a temper tantrum, then stalks off. Amy says she doesn't want to be nice to Tara when she arrives, but Kristin tells Amy they'll have to be just to preserve their own position. Dave's confessional indicates the girls are nervous, and while he doesn't blame them, the game is going to have twists and turns. Kristin wants to find out all about the new girl and be nice to her for just 3 or 4 days; then the three of them (she, Amy, and guest Amanda) can be mean. Amy thinks it's time she started playing the game.
The next morning brings a special day - it's Toni's birthday! Over breakfast, she expresses her distrust of Dave, and that she doesn't like the way he's acting. She overheard Dave telling Charla that he doesn't think she's real. She also believes he thinks he's smarter than everybody else (flashback again to Dave's conversation with Charla, where Charla thinks the smartest person there was Scott, while Dave picked Alex. Make notes, because this comes up again later). Toni plans to make Dave admit what he's been saying, though she's not sure how to go about it just yet. The girls resume their discussion about Tara: nobody likes her already, and Toni indicates she wants to kill her, or at least punch her in the face four times. Toni settles for making fun of Tara and providing impressions of how she's going to talk to everybody.
Over at the men's table, the focus is also on Tara. They want a competition, just between the guys. They decide to challenge Dave to be the first to kiss her. He'll have to kiss her on the lips for at least a two-count. They'll need a male witness as well. If Dave can't get it done by midnight, he'll have to do a striptease for Toni. Zack suggests Dave ask Tara for chapstick as an excuse, then kiss her. Dave thinks it's a good plan, but adds that if he succeeds, all the other guys will have to admit they didn't have the **** to kiss her, but Dave stepped up to the plate. "Dave's the man," agree the rest of the men, and they toast to seal the contract. Dave notes he has nothing to lose. Well, Dave, you've been concerned about your public image before, but you're the one that keeps making these stupid bets. Haven't you learned anything?
Host Amanda and Tara arrive at Paradise Hotel, and the introductions are made. Host Amanda reminds the guests that at the end of the week, Tara will be able to take any man she wants as her roommate, and one of the existing women will have to check out. Host Amanda welcomes Tara to Paradise, and Tara starts off by saying "I think you all need to get 'leied'." She hands out leis to the guests: blue for the men and pink for the girls. Scott notes that Tara is going to bring a lot of life and energy to the group. Dave tells us Tara is the hottest girl at Paradise Hotel. Beau notes that the original girls are all nervous since one of them will be going home. Amy's going to be Tara's best friend - but she doesn't really intend to be; it's just strategy.
Dave starts his plan to win the bet by telling Tara he thinks women should be feminine. He states that some of the guys like tomboy types, but she has to be herself. She responds that she's half and half. Dave asks Tara to play tennis with him, and she replies that she was thinking of challenging him. She also tells him she has a cute little tennis outfit. Privately, Dave notes that Tara is both beautiful and cool, then gives Tara a tour of the hotel. The other guys look on, and while they had thought even they couldn't have won the bet, they begin to think Dave might. Back in confessional, Dave hopes Tara is not afraid of hooking up, and the flashback of Dave asking her that question during selection is shown. As Tara and Dave explore the Monkey Room, she asks him which girl they could do without. He tells her that if she picks Beau, guest Amanda will be a lot less safe. Back in private confessional, Dave notes that while he's been there for quite some time, he hasn't had much luck (as flashbacks show his lack of success). However, he says he's not going home empty-handed.
Elsewhere, Alex and Scott are getting nervous about Dave and Tara spending too much time together, and think they should separate them. They don't want Dave to win the bet. The might be less nervous if they saw Tara's confessional, where she says Dave isn't her type at all. He tries too hard. However, Dave thinks it would make the most sense for Tara to hook up with him. "Where's the love for Dave?" he ponders.
That evening, guest Amanda starts her game plan by thanking Tara for the hug she gave her upon arrival. She didn't expect it, nor would she have done the same if their positions were reversed. Tara says she just loves having friends. Guest Amanda wishes her luck, and notes that she's going to be at Paradise Hotel for a while. Toni and Beau arrive, all dressed up for dinner, and waiter tells them dinner is served in the Harem Room. Everybody toasts Toni's birthday, then they play the name card game. They remove the name cards from their holders, shuffle them up, then each person draws one at random. Kristin's name is drawn first, and she's asked how many men she's been with. She responds it's in the mid-40s. Charla's mouth drops open. Kristin goes on to say that she knows each guy, except for one, who she remembers as "The Guy in the Shower." Kristin decides that whoever’s name she draws will have to give birthday girl Toni a lap dance. Scott's card is picked, and he complies. After that, Toni gets a birthday cake, and everybody wishes her a happy 29th.
It's 11:41 p.m., and Zack suggests he and Scott hide in Tara's closet to peek in on Dave when he tries to win the bet. After Dave gets them to promise not to come out, they head off to the Single Room, noting that if Dave loses, he's going to look like a jackass. They get in the closet, though some complain they don't fit, and Scott eventually hides in a corner of the room behind some curtains. They refer to Dave as a dork, but a cool dork. Quite an oxymoron. Dave goes over to Tara and asks her to take a walk with him. She agrees, and he lures her over to her room at 11:49 p.m. He asks her to trust him. She says she wants to go swimming and needs to get a bikini. Dave stops her and asks for a brief chat, first on the bed, then in the bathroom. He then, as planned, asks her if she has chapstick.
It doesn't quite work as she doesn't have any, but she asks him if he wants lip gloss instead. He then tells her she's the best thing to happen to Paradise Hotel since him. She thanks him, but knows something funny is going on. He then starts the explanation, noting that it is 11:55 p.m. He asks her to name one thing she didn't expect about him based on what she saw on television. She responds that she thought he was going to take off his shirt and show her his man-boobies. He tells her that in the old days, that might have thrown off his game, but it doesn't affect the "New" Dave. He hugs her, then tells her she must have seen highlights of the kissing game on TV. At this point, the other girls knock on the door, and Dave tells Tara to ignore it. However, the girls come in anyway, and the guys exit the closet, nothing that it was 11:59 p.m. and Dave lost. Dave makes a last minute attempt to kiss Tara, but the gong rings and he's lost the bet. Everybody yucks it up, and tells Dave to get down to his boxers. He pays off the bet, stripping down to chants of "Go Dave!", and ends by giving Toni a kiss on her cheek and wishing her a happy birthday.
After that, Alex and Kristin go swimming - with Kristin still wearing her dress. They starting holding and kissing each other. Charla and Scott go back to the Yellow Room, with Scott wanting Doritos and Charla asking him if he wants to see her toasted chachows. He tells her she looks beautiful, as always, and she carries herself like a lady, which he likes. They sleep in the same bed, but on opposite sides. Charla wonders if Scott is more fun in Chi-town. All is not well in the Blue Room, though, where Toni is crying her eyes out in front of Beau. "I'm 29 years old, and I don't have anything," she wails. Beau responds that she's young and beautiful, and he's not going to talk about it, because she's beautiful. "You don't have any idea what it's like for me to walk out and see you guys," she cries. Beau repeats that she's beautiful, repeats it again, and finally tells her to shut up because she's beautiful. She continues to cry. Over in the Monkey Room, Dave asks guest Amanda if there is anything going on between Scott and Charla. "No," replies guest Amanda, and she's right.
The next day, Dave and guest Amanda decide to visit Tara in the Single Room. Guest Amanda starts opening the door, but Dave asks her to knock first. "I don't knock," says guest Amanda. Dave tells Tara that guest Amanda wants to know if she's staying. Tara says that the only two guys that have tried to get to know her are Dave and Scott. They all finally agree that if Tara picks Beau, guest Amanda is going home. Dave tells Tara outright that nobody knows what will happen if Tara doesn't pick him or Beau. He goes on to tell her that there is an "in-group," which Tara correctly identifies as Amy, Kristin, and Toni. Tara agrees that when she goes by them, they all turn and look at her and get quiet. Dave tells her that Amy controls that group, and through Zack, the men. Apparently, Zack talked to Dave about getting rid of Charla. Guest Amanda says the others are plotting to get rid of her, and she doesn't want to go. However, Charla tells us in confessional that she's afraid she's going home, because she's bonded with the other people the least.
Later on, guest Amanda gives Alex a massage and tells him she had told Scott she wanted to room with him this week. She still wants to, but now she's afraid the guys don't want her at Paradise Hotel anymore. He tells her she'd have to ask the others about that. In confessional, Kristin tells us that everybody is ready for guest Amanda to go, and they can make it happen. Indeed, Zack and Alex are plotting guest Amanda's demise as well, with Alex saying that Kristin plans to pick any guy that guest Amanda picks. The code name for the operation is “Project: Terminate Her.” Elsewhere, Charla offers Tara a pact; if she remains at Paradise Hotel at the end of the next selection, she'll have Tara's back forever. Tara agrees, and they shake on it.
Breakfast time, and a hotel staff member brings an envelope to Tara. It's another excursion, this time to a beach, and she gets to invite everybody. The girls jump up and start screaming the news to the guys, who don't believe them. Tara continues to read the message, and finds out there is a very special surprise for her and Scott. The girls wonder what it could be, apparently not remembering the challenge that was thrown down during the selection process.
When they arrive at the beach, everybody strips down to bathing suits and goes swimming except for guest Amanda, who remains fully clothed on the lounge chair. As most of the guests have fun on a float pulled by a powerboat, Kristin and Toni lay out and guest Amanda and Charla have a chat. Guest Amanda muses that Amy, Toni, and Kristin are a clique, and if they don't want her to be there, she's going home. So why bother to fight? Charla responds that she's still kicking even though she's been excluded since day one. Guest Amanda muses that the trust is gone between her and a lot of people, and she hates feeling like that. They then note that Dave is watching them. Tara, Dave, and Charla have a chat, with Dave saying he's sick of the "in crowd," noting it's like junior high. He gleefully notes that one of them is going home this week, and he can't wait to see who it will be. Charla tells him it might be her, but Dave tells her it won't be. Guest Amanda is going home if she picks Beau. He tells Charla she has one day to convince guest Amanda to change tactics, but Charla tells him she's tried for two days already, and Scott won't keep guest Amanda either. Later, Dave tells Charla and guest Amanda that he wants them both to stay, but more importantly he wants one of the "in crowd" to leave.
Time for the special surprise for Tara. A staff member tells her that as requested, Paradise Hotel has granted her a mud pool fight with Scott. Flashback to the challenge made during selection. Scott and Tara oil each other up, and Zack plays announcer and introduces the contestants. They wrestle around, and Scott easily drops her for the three-count. Tara is totally dirty with mud from her toes to her hair. Scott thinks he's such a man - able to defeat a 110 pound brunette! Beau and Alex play rock-paper-scissors, with the loser having to wrestle Toni with only one arm. Alex loses and gets oiled up. He ends up dropping her quickly, and the three-count is highlighted with mud splashing on the camera lens. Toni and Dave go next, and this time Toni pins Dave at first, but he squirms out and eventually pins Toni for the three-count. Toni then storms that Dave grabbed her top, and notes privately that she's going to nail him so hard he'll be sweating.
Over lunch, Toni asks Tara what she thinks so far. Tara replies that there is a clique going on, and that it's hard to crack. Toni notes that Tara came in at the perfect time, because she got the freedom card (ability to pick a man without competition at the next selection). It gives her a chance. In confessional, Tara notes that Toni could be her friend, but she wouldn't choose to be. A waiter appears and hands an envelope to Zack. It's another game of Pandora's Box, where every guest gets to write down a question they want answered by another guest. A few guests don't look happy, as this game has generally resulted in some hurt feelings. However, everybody puts a question into Pandora's Box.
Zack begins the game by noting it's his favorite time of the week, and pulls out the first question. It's for Beau. Is there a guy he feels he can't trust? If so, who and why? He responds that the one guy who's been up and down is Dave. He says Dave has been acting abnormal and he told him he was playing the game too much. Next, Tara is told that she's borderline rude and hasn't spent five minutes to try to get to know people. Is that her strategy, or is she really just rude? Tara says, "I'm rude," then says she was just kidding. She says she's not rude, but has been standoffish. It's a tight group, so she felt out of place, and wanted to observe them for a while. She wished to find out about the cliques and relationships, but she wasn't trying to be rude. Charla reads the next question, which is for Dave. It says that a reliable source says that he has stated he thought he was smarter than everybody else. "A) Everybody disagrees, or B) How does he feel now that nobody can trust him at all?" He says it would suck if nobody thought that they can trust him. Charla asks him if he had said at any time that he was smarter than everybody else. He denies it, but Toni spits out, "Bullsh*t!" She goes on to say that she's the reliable source, and rants that he's put down everybody. If he puts down her friends, they are going to fight.
Uh, Toni, I think you just did fight Dave in the last scene – and you lost! Now I'm also going to tell you something even your parents don't say to you - SHUT UP! The only flashback shown of Dave commenting on who was smart was of him stating that he thought both Alex and Scott were smart. Go home and watch the tapes, and you'll find the producers aren't letting anybody get away with lies. Every time one is told, a flashback is shown to contradict the lie. While I'm at it, you're a snobby, self-centered bitch. You've treated every newcomer with contempt from the moment they arrived, or, in this case, even before, when you said wanted to kill Tara as her initiation. Why? Probably because she's got you beat in looks, personality, youth, and brains. As far as your chest goes, if the only reason a guy wants to go out with you is because of the implants, what is he really dating - you or a few bags of saline? Personally, I prefer natural breasts, regardless of size. One last thing – you're 29 now... and next year, you'll be 30!
Dave responds to the rant by smiling and telling Toni she's an overactress. She tells him that even if it takes her leaving to do it, she wants him gone. Dave just smirks and says, "fine." Toni keeps accusing him of lying. Dave calmly says that he isn't lying, then gets interrupted by Toni saying that she apologizes for cutting him off (Uh, Toni, you just did it AGAIN). Alex wants to know who heard him say it. Toni says she overheard him saying it, but when asked whom he was talking to, she only says, "Some people." We get the flashback of Dave talking to Charla about who was smart, and when Charla said Scott was smart, Dave simply agreed, then said that Alex was really smart. Dave tells the group he values his intelligence, and thinks he's smart, then gets interrupted by Zack, who claims Dave isn't smarter than he is. Zack goes on to say that Dave has no street smarts, and it's game on. He won't forgive him. He then asks Dave if he thinks he's smarter than Scott. Dave says no, then tells him they are trying to put words in his mouth. Toni then jumps back in, saying Dave categorized her as stupid, and says she'd rather risk her position in the game than hurt anybody (except Dave apparently). Dave calmly replies that he likes everybody a lot, and gets cut off by Toni once again, who says he doesn't. Dave says he's sorry if feelings were hurt, and they can choose to believe him or not, but it's bullsh*t.
Beau reads the next question to guest Amanda. It notes that she's taken (flashback to guest Amanda telling Jason she loved him), so can she explain why she should continue the game? She says Jason shouldn't make a difference in her attitude, and since his visit, she's been more open. She goes on to say that after her and Beau's kiss, she made it clear that she wasn't going to hook up with anybody. Remember what I said about lies being immediately exposed? Flashbacks are shown of her in bed kissing Matt, Alex, and Zack at different times. Guest Amanda wants to know why people think she shouldn't continue in the game. Beau responds by asking her to say why she should be at Paradise Hotel. She says she's not married and is free to do anything she wants. When asked if she wants to be with Jason, she agrees. Alex then remarks that a few days ago, she said she couldn't wait for her to get to Florida with him so she could tear his clothes off. She says she was joking. Alex says jokingly or not, it's hard for him to take her seriously. She repeats that it was a joke. Alex then asks her why she didn't leave with Jason. She said she wanted to do this show for herself, and she wants to go through with the game just as much as everybody else does. She is determined to stick it out, see how long she can last, make friends, and isn't ready to go. She starts crying, and everybody pretty much looks uncomfortable.
Next week: The Monkey Room occupants (guest Amanda and Dave) react to the nasty round of Pandora's Box. Zack calls Dave a liar. Amy calls somebody a liar. Tara gets to pick her roommate. Tears are shed as a woman goes home. The women get to select a rapper or a model as the next man to enter Paradise. We don't know who they pick, but it looks like Dave takes advantage of a chance to mock somebody instead of being on the receiving end. All this takes place at a special night - Tuesday instead of Monday. Stay tuned for the show on Fox and the recaps on RealityNewsOnline.
Remember Toni when she was on Love Cruise? Well, in case you’ve managed to wipe that show from your memory, the Reality TV Hall of Shame just inducted Love Cruise!
Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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