The Amazing Race 4, Episode 9: Just When You Thought We Were Done with Poo…

Previously on The Amazing Race, four teams left India and headed for Malaysia. Reichen & Chip had to push Millie out of a travel agent’s office for trying to listen to their plans, frustrating both teams in the process. Reichen & Chip thought they were going to finish first, but a last minute screw-up on the way to the pit stop allowed Jon & Al to pass them and check in first. Kelly & Jon had a hard time with the Detour and ended up checking in last, but were saved when it turned out to be the first of three non-elimination legs. Who will be eliminated next? Well, keep reading! First, though, let’s look at the remaining teams in the order they will leave the pit stop:

Jon & Al (the Clowns) – Best friends/Circus clowns/Positive thinkers/Still have Fast Forward option
Reichen & Chip – Married gay couple/Sentimental favorites/Misunderstood/Still have Fast Forward option
Millie & Chuck (Chillie) – Dating 12 years/Virgins/Sexually frustrated/No Fast Forward option
David & Jeff (the Goats) – Best friends/Think too fast sometimes/Still have Fast Forward Option
Jon & Kelly – Engaged couple/Sentimental favorites/My pick to win/Still have Fast Forward option

We begin on Manukan Island, an island off the coast of Malaysia. This is where the teams will rest, mingle and eat for 12 hours before beginning the next leg of the Race. Will Chillie continue on their downward spiral, or will their lack of teamwork give them a better drive to win? Can Jon & Kelly recover from their last place finish in the last leg? Well, let’s see.

Since the Clowns and Reichen & Chip arrived at the pit stop at the same time at the end of the last leg, both will depart at 2:05 a.m. Their clue tells them to travel 78 miles to Poring Hot Springs. Once there, they must walk a series of rope bridges in order to get their next clue. The Clowns say the other teams admire their positive attitudes. They confirm that they are a happy team and never squabble. Reichen and Chip say they are clicking without asking and that is the most they could ask for. They realize they do things for each other because they have the same goal in mind.

Chillie leave at 2:19 a.m. Millie says the Race is becoming harder because she is so much the opposite of Chuck. She is more aggressive while he is a passive person. Chuck says they are running on very little sleep because all they do is plan and strategize. At 2:50, the Goats head out from the pit stop. David says that sometimes they are a little too impulsive and don’t always follow directions. That is what their problem in the Race is. Cut back to Reichen saying that at this point in the Race, it is every man for themselves. The Clowns tell their taxi driver to hurry, but it’s tough to get to the springs because there are cows all over the place just chillin’ in the middle of the road!

3:36 a.m. and Jon and Kelly are off. Kelly says that they have learned to compromise, are fighting less, and are learning how to be happy. I really do like this team, especially Kelly. However, I’m a little concerned about how far behind they are at this point. Hopefully, a bottleneck will wipe out their time deficit. At 5:02 a.m., Reichen & Chip get to the springs first. They find that it doesn’t open until 6:30 a.m., which gives the Clowns, the Goats, and Chillie time to get there before it opens as well. The gate opens and all the teams are there except Kelly & Jon. Chillie are in the lead on the rope bridges with Millie being the first one to the box. She reads the clue and it tells them to choose a marked car and get to Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation. All the other teams get their clues as well. As they are leaving the springs, Kelly & Jon arrive. Jon has to pee before they can go in and Kelly looks a little pissed, no pun intended. On the way to the cars the Goats pass Chillie and take the lead. Meanwhile, Jon & Kelly are lost because they passed the marked path. The Goats get to their car first, and Chillie second. They are followed closely by the Clowns and Reichen & Chip.

Because their body temperatures are so hot, the windows in the Goats’ car begin to fog fast. Chillie are having the same problem. Reichen & Chip pass both teams because they remembered to turn on their defrosters when they left the parking lot. Back at the springs, Kelly & Jon are still lost and headed further in the wrong direction. The Clowns are having the same fogging issue Chillie and the Goats are having. The Goats start to bicker a little and Jeff tells David to lose the attitude. Chuck looks very tired as he drives and Millie is just about ready to fall asleep. Kelly & Jon? Still lost. Kelly says they are done for, but eventually Jon finds the marked path to the bridges and they get their clue, but not before they do a little arguing along the way. They don’t even read where their next destination is and look right at the Fast Forward. Jon reads it and has one hell of a time pronouncing “orangutans,” so Kelly has to help him. In this FF, teams must drive over 140 miles to the Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary. Once there, they must head into the Sanctuary, find wild orangutans, and feed them four pieces of wild fruit. Kelly & Jon say they know it’s do or die time.

On the way to the next route marker, Reichen & Chip realize they may be on the wrong road. However, they are on the same road that leads to the Fast Forward. Chip says he doesn’t really want to go for it, but Reichen says that they’ve headed too far toward it to turn around.

The Clowns get to the Detour: Chop or Haul? In Chop, teams must use tools to drop down nut bunches with clues attached. This takes a little less manpower, but for every envelope that has a clue, there are three that do not. In Haul, teams must take 25 nut bunches and load them onto a truck. This could take some time because the nut bunches are heavy, but they are certain to get the right clue when it’s over. The Clowns choose Haul and don’t look like they are having fun. Chillie are having problems finding the plantation and ask for directions. Both of them are getting frustrated. The Goats get to the plantation and because they are rushing as usual, pass the clue. They continue to look for it but eventually ask the Clowns where it is. Even after the Clowns tell them it’s in the green wheelbarrow, they still pass it, so the Clowns basically have to take the Goats’ hands and lead them there. When the Goats finally get their clue, they choose Haul. In their normal rushing fashion, however, they find themselves doing badly because everything they throw on the truck continues to fall off. The Clowns finish the task and get their next clue. It tells them to drive to the next route marker at Gomantong Caves. They get back in their car and drive off.

The Goats finish the Detour and are off as well. Back to Kelly & Jon. They know they are screwed if someone else goes for the FF, but decide that nobody else would have any reason to do it. Reichen & Chip are currently at the FF location. They grab baskets and run off in the jungle. Chillie get to the Roadblock and choose Haul - well, Millie does, at least. She says both tasks are hard, but she thinks she can help more with Haul. Chuck says it’s easier to do Chop and they change to that. After seeing that it requires more physical strength then he thought, they go back to Haul. Reichen & Chip find the orangutans and begin to feed them. This is awesome! The orangutans are shy at first, but eventually go up to them and take the fruit. This FF is a great experience and Reichen & Chip enjoy every moment of it as they claim the Fast Forward. It tells them to get to the pit stop: Sepilok Nature Resort. They reflect one more time and head out.

Chillie are fighting at the Roadblock. Chuck says that they are always butting heads and Millie says he is resentful of her because she gives him orders and has been doing it for years. Wow, I didn’t realize Chuck was THAT under control! They finally finish the Detour and head out. Kelly & Jon arrive at the FF location and find a note saying it has already been claimed. Jon can’t believe it. Kelly says they now know they are finished. They get back to the road in the car and while they are driving, Kelly makes a comment to Jon, saying “So that's it, babe. We're out. You're always right. I'm always wrong,” and he tells Kelly to go f**k herself. Kelly tells Jon to never talk to her like that and gets out of the car. After a commercial, Jon & Kelly are both in the car again. Jon says he wants to be a perfect gentleman, but the Race isn’t charm school. Kelly says that the Race isn’t even fun anymore.

On their way to the caves, Chillie miss a sign and head off in the wrong direction. The Clowns get to the caves and find it’s a Roadblock that reads, “Time for the ladder part of the Race.” In this Roadblock, one person must climb a rattan ladder to a basket at the top that holds their next clue. Jon is going to do it for the clowns because in the circus he balances ladders on his face. How endearing. He starts the climb and says the steps are pretty far apart. He also states that there is bird poo everywhere. Wow, there sure does seem to be a “poo theme” on this season of the Race. First it’s digging in poo, and then it’s being dragged in poo, now it’s having poo drop on you from the ceiling. Eventually, the Clowns do get their clue and it tells them to drive to the pit stop, located at the Sepilok Nature Resort. As the Clowns leave, they see the Goats arrive.

Reichen & Chip get to the pit stop and check in first. They win a trip to “festive Latin America.” I want a trip! I’m glad they got the trip and the Fast Forward, however, I’m a little pissed that Kelly & Jon are pretty much done for. They are still my sentimental favorites, after all. Meanwhile, David performs the Roadblock for the Goats. He says the ladder is shaky and has a little trouble getting the clue. Chillie continue to be lost. Kelly & Jon finally get to the Detour and choose Haul. They are fighting because Jon says the other may be easier. The Goats finish up at the Roadblock and head for the pit stop. Kelly & Jon are doing the Detour and aren’t sure if they are loading the nut bunches in the right truck because their wheelbarrow is labeled “5” and the truck is labeled “C” - they completely miss seeing the big “5” right next to the “C.”

At this point, my friend Tom comes over. He has never seen the show before and we are going out later so he decided to stop by and have a few beers before we go out. As he watches all this going on with Jon & Kelly, he simply states that he hates Kelly. I have to go off on him and explain that she is my queen. He’s not hearing this. Anyway, Jon & Kelly never figure out Haul and move to Chop and start cutting down branches. Chillie are still lost at this point. When he sees Chillie’s “Dating 12 Years/Virgins” screen label, Tom asks why they have been dating for so long. I tell him 12 years is a long time, especially being virgins. Tom informs me he thought it said Virginia, not Virgins, finally making sense of everything because he had no idea why it would say where they are from. We both get a good laugh out of this.

Jon & Kelly cut down one branch and it has an empty envelope. They cut down another and it has the clue. They head to the caves. Chillie finally get back to being on the right track and realize how far they went out of the way. They eventually get to the caves. Guess what - Kelly & Jon get to the caves at the same time. Chillie see Jon & Kelly and start to panic, Kelly & Jon get their second wind, and I’m jumping out of my chair! Both teams get to the Roadblock with Jon and Chuck choosing to do it for their teams. They both get suited up quickly and Chuck is off first with Jon right behind him. They both scurry up the ladders. Millie is so nervous she needs a puff from her inhaler and Tom sympathizes for her because he has asthma as well. Then, we cut to the Clowns checking in as team number two.

Chuck and Jon are both heading down the ladder with Jon moving a bit faster. Both teams get to the bottom and rush to their cars to get to the pit stop. Jon & Kelly are out first with Chillie literally right behind them. Kelly is a motormouth of excitement as she goes on and on about beating Chillie. Millie says they aren’t sure of where they’re going. Kelly tells Jon she knows exactly where the pit stop is because it’s by the Sanctuary they went to earlier when they were trying to claim the FF. Chillie say they plan on following Jon & Kelly to the pit stop and sprinting to the mat. Just then, the Goats check in third.

Chuck can’t find the gear on his car and panics. Jon notices this and drives faster. Chuck finally finds the gear and catches up. They enter the Reserve and continue to look for signs. Both teams are panicking because they know it’s going to be a sprint. They are right! Sprint to the finish - Kelly & Jon are there first!! I almost die of excitement. They are told they are team number four. Chillie, not giving up, run to the mat. Phil tells them they are last and that they are eliminated from the Race. They look so disappointed - especially Millie. She cries. Phil asks them if they have come to any conclusions because of the Race. Millie thinks that they learned about themselves and even though they are alike, they are very opposite as well. They don’t know if they are the ones that will make each other happy. Chuck says that both of them are stubborn and it’s hard to keep peace in the relationship. Millie says that they may go different ways because their future isn’t certain. Chuck says that if that’s the case, Millie will always have a special place in his heart. I decide that I like them. However, if they had beaten Jon & Kelly to the pit stop, I would have hated them forever. Next week, teams head for the ultimate plunge and get a taste of new cuisine. Also, some get lost on the Korean border!

Time for some comments from the peanut gallery, also know as “me.” First off, if the Goats are eliminated next, then I picked the top three, and that will be a miracle. Kelly is the last female left in the Race and I’m so proud of her. Jon & Kelly really overcame a deficit this week and never gave up. I couldn’t believe it when I saw them catch up to Chillie. On another note, three out of four teams still have the Fast Forward option available so it will be interesting to see which one will go for it next. I’d like to see my two sentimental favorite teams cross the finish line and even though the Clowns are not sentimental favorites, I’m rooting for them as well. My guess is that next week is a non-elimination leg, but who even knows at this point? Guess we will have to wait and see!

Phil Kural is a senior at Temple University, and can be reached at pkural@temple.edu.

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