Big Brother 4: Turn Off the Faucets!

As Tom Hanks so bluntly stated in A League of Their Own, “There’s no crying in baseball!” I wish one of the remaining Big Brother 4 HouseGuests would grow a spine and remind the snifflers & boo-hooing babies that THIS IS A GAME! After Michele’s tearful, “unexpected” (by her and the other exes), ouster last week (and subsequent sob session with Julie Chen and her Dad), it was a relief when David left the house with a smile and exited with dignity. He may have been the only member who remembered that he was playing a game, not running for Governor, or in the case of this house, Prom King.

I can’t recall any of the past Big Brother houses containing so many contestants who whine and shed tears at the drop of a hat. The players on the chopping block have acted like they’re being sentenced to prison (there must be some irony here). More surprising is the Head of Household shedding tears as well. Last week I wanted to climb through the TV, smack Dana in the head, and tell her to “GET OVER IT!” She was crying because the person that she nominated – and knew full well would be booted – was going to actually be booted!

At this point in the game, I can only hope that Jun is the only woman to get Head of Household from now on, as she seems to have the most composure out of the women who are left. Then we have Erika boo-hooing on a daily basis, most recently when faced with the traumatic decision of whether to vote out the man who’s like a father to her or the one who’s like a brother. According to posters on Big Brother 4 message boards, the reason she wears her sunglasses so often both indoors and outdoors is because she’s hiding her eyes, which are swollen from crying so often.

Alison was a spigot from Day One, breaking down in sobs at the thought that her “boyfriend outside the house” would be distraught over seeing her inside the house with her ex-boyfriend, Justin. Apparently, she’s not too concerned having him see her flirt shamelessly with most of the men in the house, passionately kiss (among other things) Nathan, massage her ex-boyfriend (or have him put candle wax on her breasts), or share a bed with any of the above. At this point, she should probably be crying while wondering what her family, friends and viewing public are thinking about her wanton behavior… oh, excuse me - her strategy.

There’s nothing wrong with crying due to injury, hearing of an outside loss (case in point, Monica in Big Brother 2 upon being informed that her cousin was missing during the 9/11 Trade Center attacks), or even on being voted out by a man you had just had sex with the prior evening (kudos to Amanda for exiting with dignity, and holding her head up… though not her dress), but this latest crop of HouseGuests needs to lighten up. If I wanted to watch a sob-fest every night, I’d tune in to the news.

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