Big Brother 4, August 12: The Two-Faced Bitch Showby David Bloomberg -- 08/13/2003
We begin with our usual recap. Justin nominated Jack and Nathan because he’s supposedly upset that they lied to his face. Well duh, so did Alison and Jun – and Dana, for that matter!
Nathan and Jack are outside working out. Nathan says he feels like it’s all his fault they are in this situation. If he had not used the Veto on Alison, they wouldn’t be here. Jack blames only himself because they didn’t make it work, but Nathan wants to take the blame. Nathan says Alison didn’t have faith that they would win, she didn’t have to go to them (the Stooges – Justin/Jee/Robert). Nathan continues that they had a plan and she broke it and went behind his back – so now she’s safe and he’s on the block. The two of them commiserate about their alliance going from eight to four to three. Ouch.
Jun goes into the HOH room and tells the Stooges that the two guys “hate” Justin. Well, okay, she admits, they don’t actually “hate” him, but they don’t want to hear that they’re liars – nobody does. I’m betting that “nobody” includes Jun, who is one of the biggest liars in the house! So now we’ll add “hypocrite” to her list of titles.
To remind us that Jack is, indeed, a huge liar, we see what is probably the only instance of him lying – when he told the Stooges that Michelle was safe and then voted for her to leave. Once again, I feel I must point out that Jun, Dana, and Alison did the same thing! If that’s the sole point of him “lying” they can find, it’s simply rationalization. And that appears to be just the case as Justin goes on about how your word is all you have in the house and if you break that, you don’t have anything to offer. Oh please. Get off your freaking high horse. Jee, you too – as he goes on about the same issue.
Jee goes on about how great it is that they bounced back. They did a “360 turn.” Justin corrects him and notes that it’s a “180.” Robert chimes in that “none of those bastards have ever done that.” Oh please. OK, it’s bad enough that you’re singing your own praises. But you have to call them “bastards” too? Get over yourself!
Erika is talking to Alison, lying on the couch. Alison says it’s going to make her throw up. She’s all emotional, etc. But in the Diary Room, she says Nathan is the biggest freaking baby. “And I’m safe, so who cares right now.” Nice. Two-faced bitch.
Erika tells us that Nathan feels really betrayed because he saved Alison and now he’s in this position. She goes to talk to the two nominees outside and says she tried really hard to win HOH, though she’s not sure about Jack, who blew the first question that seemed to obviously be about Dana! In the Diary Room, Jack says it was the easiest question ever. To his pals, he jokes that he threw it so he could get on the block.
Nathan once again talks about how he saved Alison and they had a plan. But then the plan crumbled. She was supposed to take out Justin when she was HOH, but she didn’t stick to the plan.
Alison says that Nathan hasn’t spoken to her since the nomination ceremony. Jun chimes in, “of course not.” Oh shut up. Robert says he’s a baby and Jun says he’s not used to losing. In the Diary Room, Alison claims Nathan is making her mad now because he wouldn’t be in this position if he hadn’t saved her. Then she smirks and says maybe the dumbest move he made was indeed to save her. That’s fine – she’s still here. Two-faced bitch.
Nathan apologizes to Erika and Jack again. Now if David had still been around instead of her (he went because Nathan used the Veto), he would have stuck to the plan. Damn straight. Erika and Jack say it’s a moot point. Nathan says he never really regrets his decisions, but in this case he does. He notes that Alison is in with the Stooges just joking it up with them. Jack says it didn’t take long…
In the next segment, we find that Jee is strange. Yes, even stranger than we thought. He takes like ten minutes to brush his teeth as he brushes each tooth five times inside and out. He also takes forever in the shower and he washes each body part five times and counts while he’s doing it! He also has his clothes all packed in an incredibly neat manner. Jun says it’s because he needs that kind of control. Thank you, Dr. Jun.
Moving back to The Two-Faced Bitch Show, Alison and Nathan are sitting outside and Alison says, “Don’t you just love me sometimes?” I would have said, “No, I just want to smack you upside the head sometimes, though.” However, Nathan responds, “No. ‘Cause you got me in this damn predicament.” Alison claims he was in it with or without him and he says no, he wasn’t. She says she can’t believe he’s blaming her. Believe it, two-face. She tells him that one of them could still win Veto and he should open his eyes. He says they’re open and (to me, anyway) implies that with them so open, he can see her for what she is. Yeah, it’s a lot to get out of a couple words, I know.
In the Diary Room, Alison gleefully says she has “no remorse” for getting rid of Dana last week – Dana was after her and now she’s safe. So “Nathan can kiss my ass.” How nice. Nathan, in the Diary Room himself, says he’s not counting on Alison at all. He’s just hoping to win the Veto himself.
The next segment has several of the HouseGuests talking about how much they miss the news. What’s going on in Iraq? What happened with Sammy Sosa? This leads to Erika starting to talk about Kobe Bryant as both she and Nathan talk about how great he is, how much of a family man he is, how he is classy and handles himself well, loves his wife, etc. Oooh, irony. Actually, it is kind of funny, in a sick way.
From dirty secrets we move to Justin’s dirty laundry. He wears the same shorts all the time and only washes ‘em every couple weeks or so. They are nasty, stinky, horrible. Hey, wait – doesn’t the HOH get laundry service? No matter, it’s a lead-in to the next luxury challenge.
Justin comes in to show people what they will be wearing – one-piece bathing suits for the women, and little tiny short suits for the guys. One minute to change! Guys walk out without much left to the imagination. They walk out to the yard and see a big hose hanging over them. They are told that there is a letter hidden on the inside of a patch inside each bathing suit. They have to take off their suits and use those letters to spell out a word on a clothes line hanging above them. The word it spells will be the prize. They have five minutes. Oh, and so they aren’t just standing around completely naked, they will have tons of bubble foam from the hose to cover themselves with.
As the foam pours down, they start to cover themselves so they can take off their suits and hang them up. Jack forgets to get clothes pins before he takes off his suit. So he just stands up, not worrying about the foam coverage. Later in the Diary Room he says, “I felt safe standing up out there because I knew nobody was looking at me.” Heh.
Nathan says as he stands up, to the right is Ali, naked, straight ahead is Jun shaking her thing, and then there is Erika! Jack says, “The goal of the competition is to look at three naked women, and I succeeded.” Heh again.
They spell out “laundry,” which wins them fluff and fold laundry service.
Nathan says he thought he was in heaven. Jack says he goosed Jun. And we see them all load up their dirty laundry. Jee does note that even though the laundry service folds it for them, he’ll have to refold it the way he likes it. Alison says the house will smell better ‘cus “Justin won’t smell like dirty socks.” I thought it was dirty shorts? Whatever, the segment is over so we can move on.
Hey, the HouseGuests get Subway this week! It’s so healthy! Jack says, “Hooray damn hell for that!” Expect to see that as their new logo coming soon.
Then we find out (as if it’s a surprise) that everybody is always walking around half-naked. Jun cooks in her bikini, which Jack says is good for morale. Plus, depending on what view you have, she may or may not be all the way in her bikini. You know, if Jack leaves, where the hell are they gonna find somebody to take his place in the one-liner category?!
This leads to a discussion of who has the least fashion sense. The consensus seems to be that she has the worst fashion sense in the house – except, of course, that she thinks she has the best. It’s not trendy, she admits, as we see stuff like lime green shiny pants! Then we move on to the pink hat that Jun says makes her look like a man. Even Nathan says it’s got to go. She says it’s her lucky pink hat that gets rid of all evil-doers. Cut to a shot of Robert with spooky music in the background. Score one for the editors! Then we move on to the pink boots, which she says are her favorite article of clothing. She wants to look like J-Lo and to be J-Lo.
Next, the HouseGuests are given the game Quoridor for a future competition. You have to try to get to your opponent’s side of the board by moving your piece or putting up a wall to block an opponent. Justin turns out to be good at the game, Jack says he’s smart and always two or three moves ahead. Jee compares it to Big Brother in that you campaign and tell others what to do and how to do it. Nathan tells Jack that if the Veto competition is Quoridor, they’re screwed – Justin always wins.
Getting back to The Two-Faced Bitch Show, Alison whines to Nathan that now that he’s on the block, “You’re kinda just like piss on Alison.” He says that’s not the case. He asks what she expects. She says she was there and was frustrated too. He says he never would have suspected that she would go behind his back and make a deal with the Stooges. She says, with a pout, that she isn’t doing that. Oh please. In the Diary Room she smiles brightly and says of course she’s playing both sides! Two-faced bitch. Back with Nathan, she says he’s the only one she cares about in this whole house. She can still win Veto and take him off the block. Yeah, right.
Justin and the Stooges talk about how they will gang up on Nathan to make sure he doesn’t win. They play and practice with each one being Nathan so he won’t win. Nathan decides he’s not going to practice because he won the two he didn’t practice for.
Guess what? Quoridor is the next Veto competition! There are two games with four players each, then a head-to-head with the winners. The first group (randomly drawn) has Nathan, Justin, Jun, and Robert. The other three gang up on Nathan almost from the get-go and he obviously doesn’t win. Robert does. The second group has Jack, Erika, Jee, and Alison. Once again, it turns out to be three against one as even Erika allows Jee to tell her what to do in order to block Jack – after all, if he wins Veto, he will take himself off and that means she will be on the block instead! Nathan tries to help Alison win, and she gets pissy about it. Jee wins. (I was, frankly, surprised to see that not only could players help each other out, but even those watching the game could as well. It turns the game from one of pure strategy to one involving the alliances in the house, as even without playing, Justin could direct the action.)
In the head-to-head competition, it really doesn’t matter if Jee or Robert wins, so they have fun. Robert ends up winning his second Veto in a row. He goes on, in the Diary Room, about how they don’t owe anybody anything and it’s great revenge. The others all wanted them out from the beginning, the others all lied to them, so every one of them they take out is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then the three of them talk about how great they are. Robert says they are going to be remembered in this game. I’ve said it before, I’ll probably say it again – get over yourselves!
Jee, talking to Robert and Alison, says that although Nathan was pissed about the Veto competition results, that’s the way it was in that game, fair or not. Alison tells the two of them that if they keep Nathan around, he claims he wouldn’t put up the Stooges, but instead would put up Erika and Jun. The guys say that he came to them with the same offer. She actually lobbies a bit on his side, saying she thinks he would stick to his word. She’s still a two-faced bitch.
As if to prove that, Nathan and Alison are in bed together, talking. He says she’s a totally different person, which she of course denies. He wishes her good luck in life and she asks if this is the poor pity Nate party. She then goes on to say that at home he lives a fantasy – he’s little Mr. Perfect Nate and when things don’t go the way he planned he blames her. In the Diary Room, it’s obvious that he knows exactly what she’s doing as he says she is trying to turn it around on him and say he shouldn’t be disappointed in her. She sold him out and used him. He thought they were tighter than that. Back to the bedroom, he mutters that he’s sorry he bothered, leaves the bed, and tells her not to come to him if she ever needs help again. Ouch. Take that, two-faced bitch!
She replies that she doesn’t know why he insists on acting so childish, especially to his “only friend.” He responds sarcastically and she says she was his only friend at one point. He asks what happened. She replies that he decided that he didn’t need her! (My emphasis to point out the hypocrisy.) He says he never decided that, she did. No, she says, he did. Nyah nyah! I’m rubber, you’re glue! He replies that her actions speak louder than words.
Nathan tries to lobby Jun to say that the best move for the Stooges is to have Robert Veto Jack and put up Alison against him. Jun jumps up to tell the Stooges about it, and Nathan gives us at home the thumbs-up. In the HOH room, Jun presents her idea, noting that Nathan didn’t request that he pull himself off, but Jack. Robert says Alison doesn’t understand the game at all and should have no part in the game. Privately, he says she is the biggest liar in the house and he could send a message using the Veto.
Everybody talks about how you never know. Nathan gives it a 70% shot that Robert might use the Veto on Jack to put up Alison. Jack gives the first speech, saying that Veto is a powerful tool in a complicated game. If he benefits, he welcomes it, if not, he understands. Justin privately says Jack is very well-spoken, doesn’t piss people off, but instead you respect him for what he says. Er, wasn’t he just calling the guy a liar earlier?
Nathan says he knows Robert has his decision in mind, it’s a game, and he respects the way Robert plays.
Robert says it’s nothing personal, he loves ‘em both and they are the two best players, but for his own purpose in the game, if either is evicted, it will help him, so he will not using the Veto. Privately, Erika says she thinks Robert was just kissing up in saying those things.
As we end the episode, Jack says he thinks he’s safe, but you never know. Nathan says he’ll give it one more shot and see what happens.
So what will happen? Well, the eviction votes are live Wednesday night, so the lobbying and campaigning could be going on right ‘til the very end. It seems obvious that Nathan is going, but you just never know…
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David Bloomberg is the Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached at RNO@pobox.com.
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