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The Swan 2, Episode 4: A Tale of Two Sistersby Brian Towers -- 11/16/2004
Last time on The Swan, we met Christina, who’s motivation was drawn into question. We also met Erica, who lost a lot of weight too quickly. Both ladies struggled with aspects of the “Swan” treatment, but in the end Erica was named as the next contestant to advance to the Swan pageant. You can read about it here. The show begins with Host Amanda Byram introducing us to this week’s contestants. There’s Kari, and there’s Gina. They are sisters. Here’s the premise of this episode: 
The “surprise” for younger sister Kari is that she doesn’t know her older sister Gina is also in The Swan program. Gina’s surprise is that she doesn’t know Kari is her competition. OK, that’s not such an exciting “surprise” for Gina, but whatever.
Note, these “surprises” are restated about 20 more times throughout the show. I’m going to assume you have active brain cells, and not keep mentioning it over and over and over like they do on the show…until the end. Amanda presents the facts of Kari’s situation to The Swan team of experts, who are:
Video of Kari shows how close these two sisters are. They both tried out for The Swan together. Initially, when she hears her sister was not selected, Kari doesn’t want to take part in program. Pictures prove that Kari was a pretty dancer and cheerleader in high school, but after her first year she developed oversized breasts – DDs at 16! Now 25, Kari feels, “It ruined everything.” She had to give up dancing because dancers don’t look like that. She resents that dancing was taken away by something beyond her control. Kari became insecure as a teen. Her mother feels, “The number one thing that made Kari insecure as a teenage was her breasts. Kari is definitely isolating herself because of her insecurities. She leans on me as a crutch.” Back pain and headaches have been constant problems for her. Finally, weight gain has further eroded her self-confidence. I guess food was used as some kind of substitute, but alas, this was not explained. Host Amanda asks the team of experts for their opinions. Dr. Haworth notes the need for a breast reduction, and more. Debbie and Dr. Ianni both note that Kari has always been very dependent on her family, and needs to find her own motivation. So here’s what’s ahead for Kari: Face:
Body:
Dental:
Fitness:
Next, Amanda introduces us to Kari’s sister, 27-year-old Gina. Gina wasn’t told she was on the show until after she’d seen her sister driven off, flush with the news that she (Kari) was going to be on The Swan. Gina was really excited about being selected. Gina is the older sister and has been protective of Kari all her life. She shares both the big-chest and weight gain problems with Kari. She had to quit gymnastics at age 14, and she began to gain weight. To hide her problems, Gina buries herself in her work and her daily routine. She has a boyfriend Sal, but alas, we are not going to see any more of him in this episode.
Amanda asks the experts what they think. Therapist Dr. Ianni notes that neither sister has been on her own much and that they have a parent-child relationship more than a sister-sister relationship. Besides the obvious breast reduction, Dr. Dubrow sees contour problems in Gina. To no one’s surprise, thinks he can overcome them. Amanda asks Dr. Dubrow, ”Are they going to look like twins?” Refreshingly good question, Amanda – and both cosmetic surgeons answer, ”No.” So here’s what’s in store for Gina: Face:
Body:
Dental:
Fitness:
Gina’s getting body liposuction in eight areas? I’m not positive, but eight could be the new record! In the next scene, we get a view of the contraband police finding a mirror in Gina’s luggage. It’s confiscated. No mirrors, that’s The Swan rule! It’s time for both women to consult with their various surgeons, and the work listed above is discussed. Dr. Dubrow tells Gina that he’s going to reduce her to a small-D cup size, figuring that upcoming weight loss (via the gym) will further reduce them to the desired size of a mid-C. She agrees with this plan. Dr. Haworth has a similar meeting with Kari. He plans to reduce her to a mid-C right off the bat, without allowances for any possible further reductions. In an aside, he calls her top-heavy, stocky, and “on the verge of looking masculine.” Ah, words a woman longs to hear – and Kari probably heard them for the first time last night! Wouldn’t it have been interesting if they’d revisited this concept of the different sizes again in this episode? Alas, we are not going to see any of those developments.
Gina visits the nutritionist next. She weighs in at 147.6 pounds on her 5’4’’ frame. She further admits she’s a fast-food fanatic including what she calls, “Real soda pop.” No diet colas here! When told she’s going to be eating five smaller meals a day, her primary concern is about not drinking soda pop.
Meanwhile, younger sister Kari visits dentist Dr. Worth. Kari is concerned about getting veneers. Her concern is that they’ll break if she falls – she thinks she’s clumsy and falls down a lot. Fortunately, Dr. Worth convinces her the veneers are almost indestructible and she’ll be fine. This gives the editors the chance to show us several gaping views of dental appliances in use. It looks like a whole fist could be stuffed in her mouth! It’s the night before plastic surgeries. As is usual, a phone call home is scheduled at this point. Kari calls her sister, unaware that Gina is in a nearby room. Gina is nervous about her own surgeries, but manages to pretend she is at home. Kari senses that Gina is nervous, but thinks it’s sisterly concern over her (Kari’s) operations. Cute.
The surgeries are next. Dr. Dubrow performs what he calls a “skin-only tummy tuck.” This means, no muscles were tightened – it’s gym-time that will tone Gina’s abs. Alas, we are not going to see any of that gym-action either. Post-surgery, Kari has difficulty coming out of the anesthetic, and Dr. Haworth suspects a breathing disorder. He decides that a sleep specialist ought to be consulted before her breast augmentation is performed. OK, wait a minute here. The girl may have to miss out on the only surgery she actually cared about because of problems with other, lower-priority surgeries? Are they kidding? How wrong is this? Madness, madness…
Luckily for Kari (and, I’m betting, Dr. Haworth’s ass), Kari gets the go-ahead for further surgery. Kari calls her mom to share the news. Mom is supportive, but Kari thinks she’s being treated like a child. I don’t really see that, myself – I think Kari’s a little touchy on this issue – but that’s one for therapist Dr. Ianni. Alas, we are not going to see any of that action either. During the reduction surgery, Dr. Haworth comments, “One false move and you can kill the nipple.” No wonder patients are put out for operations – who wants to hear that kind of comment? Luckily, surgery is completed without any such incident. However, Kari has lost two weeks of critical gym time. The next scenes are cute, as Gina shows us that she’s not a very good liar. Gina had pretended she was in Mexico so Kari wouldn’t ask about home life and get caught in a lie. Now, she pretends she has returned but doesn’t want to talk about the trip until she can show Kari the “cool pictures.” She also pretends to hold the phone for the dog to hear while Kari calls out “Roxy!” to an empty room. Ha! A month has passed in “Swan time,” and it’s now time for the reveals. Kari is up first. Amanda asks the experts for their opinions, and Nely offers that Kari was obsessed with her sister throughout the process. Younger sister Kari is brought out and she’s looking very pretty indeed. The double-D’s are gone, and instead Kari has a slim, petite figure. Her face is beautiful with the most noticeable features being improved nose and teeth. Unfortunately, they’ve given her what I call a “Blonde Morticia” hairstyle. But in fact, she looks super – just like the woman that young cheerleader was supposed to grow into. Amanda has Kari stand in front of the huge curtain-covered mirror and tells her that when she’s ready, the mirror will be uncovered. After a few seconds delay, Kari is ready, and she sees herself for the first time in three months. She is so overjoyed with her new look that she can hardly speak. Finally she says, “It’s incredible! I love it so much!” She thanks the experts and they all applaud her. Gina’s reveal is next. Nely and Dr. Ianni tell us that Gina, who used to have a “caretaker personality,” has learned to, “take care of herself.” When Gina comes out, you can see that she also has a new, slimmer shape that looks just super. Her hair has been done nicely - it’s reddish brown now. Facially, she looks quite different than before, but I think she has regained the look she had when she was a teenager. I think that’s great. Mind you, I also think that now, she looks more than two years older than Kari! Amanda has Gina stand in front of the curtain-covered mirror and conducts her reveal in the same manner as before. Gina admits that she is nervous. The curtain opens, and Gina is equally appreciative of her new look, gushing, “No way, it’s not me! It’s impossible! It can’t be me!” She then thanks the assembled Swan Team – I always like it when they proffer thanks without being prompted by Amanda, and both sisters did it tonight. Amanda asks Gina, “What about Kari, do you think she’ll recognize her big sister?” Kari doesn’t think so. OK, the end is near. Amanda is ready to announce which contestant will participate in the Swan Pageant. But first, the sisters have to be let in on the big “surprises.” Usually at this time in the proceedings, Amanda brings out both swans at the same time. Tonight, she brings out Kari first. Kari admits, she’s anxious to learn if she’s going to the pageant. Gina is brought out and fortunately, Kari recognizes her right away. Phew! They hug and chatter as they check each other out, until Amanda puts an end to this spontaneous fun. Kari is surprised Gina could keep the secret. Amanda asks Gina if it was difficult knowing that she was competing against her sister, and Gina admits that it was. Gina says, “But who can lose - look at us!” And, she’s right. Amanda reminds all that the sisters were judged on “beauty and poise, and, of course, overall transformation.” The swans-in-waiting are quite nervous at this point. Even more painfully slow than her usual pace, Amanda opens the envelope to tell us, “The woman who has earned a place in the pageant tonight … is … Kari! Amanda has the doors opened and in come the sisters’ parents. Their mom is weepy and says she is, “Flabbergasted!” Their father says, “They look phenomenal!” We end with host Amanda standing alone, gushing about the weeks to come. Next Week: We meet policewoman Cinnamon who needs to find her female side. But she seems to be having trouble reacting to the surgery and to being away from her family. And, we meet Patti, a widow who is the oldest candidate. Patti is found to have cancer. Man, I don’t even like to type that word!
Can we wait a week? See you in 7! In conclusion: This was a hard episode to watch – and it was because of the editing! What we could see of the basic storylines was fine, but too much of the episode merely representing previous scenes. Especially reiterating that these girls were sisters and blah, blah, “surprise,” blah – we get it, we get it!! Where I’ve said “alas” above, these were story points that ought to have been expanded. Especially galling is that there was less than a minute of coaching, therapy and gym time, combined. These are the features that differentiate this show from the others of its ilk. Well, these girls both lost about 30 pounds, and the editing lets us believe that one doesn’t have to sweat to make that happen – that surgery is a “silver bullet.” It’s just not so. One criticism of makeover shows is that they greatly minimize the pain and effort involved in making such dramatic changes. Tonight, I agree. In the Mailbag: There’s nothing much worthy of extra comment this week, either, folks. Let me have your feedback, I want to hear from you! Brian is an unemployed/retired programmer from Toronto. He can be reached at uncle_bto@rogers.com. Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site! And take a look at the rest of the site. You can find out about some other popular shows at our The Amazing Race 5 page and our Last Comic Standing page; and don't miss The Reality TV Hall of Shame. You can even buy reality show stuff at our Reality TV Store! For more news about reality TV, be sure to check out SirLinksALot! |