The Apprentice 2, MVPs and LVPs: Episode 11 Corner Office and Mailroom Assignmentsby Mel Ellis -- 11/24/2004
Before I start, let me just say that the feedback on the mailroom/corner office idea has been awesome. Keep those comments coming! Also, in response to a request from an RNO'er, I will tally who has had mailroom duty and who enjoyed the corner office at the end of this article. The reader thinks the tally might help reveal the apprentice. I'd like to think I have that kind of power, but remember that who gets demoted or promoted depends wholly on my snarky whim. The Donald uses far less critical criteria in his decision-making. That said, let's get on with it!
This week's task, as you know, was to create an in-store catalog and guide for Levi's. Before that happened, there was another corporate reshuffle and Kelly was exiled to the pathetic Apex team. Team Mosaic ended up being the worse for the loss, as Wes had no one in authority to give him the backbone he needed and Maria walked all over him and everyone else. Before we get to that, just remember that each team had access to the same pool of models and the same printer/designers as the other. So, who delivers mail and who lounges in luxury?
Let's look at Apex first. Interestingly enough, they did not experience their usual train wreck. I was not impressed at their choice of using themselves as models, as their claim that they look like "real people," rang hollow and made me bitter. It also reminded me why the show is down 20% from last year. Mark Burnett and The Donald need to stop casting for looks and psychoses and start casting for talent and business acumen. This is the same problem Burnett has had for years on Survivor. There are always the pretty young things and the hot stud flesh in greater proportion than the "regular folk." That is why I delight in the fact that the older people finally got wise and voted off the youngins as fast as they could. That's also why I would love to see a Survivor not set in bikini-weather places. What about the Orkney Islands? The Arctic? Wait – I'm whining about the wrong show. Sorry. However, the same complaint holds for Apprentice and made me irritable when Jennifer and the gang dolled themselves up to represent "real people." In our dreams, maybe.
Still, Apex did grasp the most important component in selling Levi's – focus on the butt. The shots were butt-rific (especially Kelly's) and the Levi's people were pleased. Then there was the wonder that was Ivana. What happened to her this week? Where did that ingenuity come from, that creativity, that spunk? She came up with that brilliant denim wheel, which allowed customers to dial in the right jean for their body type and style. Well done, Ivana. Enjoy the corner office. We've stocked your favorite pop in the fridge in the corner. As for the mailroom, I would love to give it to Jennifer for looking better than a body has a right to (nods to Ms. Parton), but jealousy ought not to decide these things. Everyone pitched in, the presentation was great, even though Jen is a bit of a spotlight and credit hog, so no mailroom for anyone from Apex for this week. I know. I was shocked, too.
What about Mosaic? As I said, Wes without Kelly is like... Elizabeth. Wes was team leader in name only. Maria decided the layout, hired the models, set up the poses, determined the time spent on the shoot, and made the presentation. What about the others? Andy whined, Sandy... what did Sandy do? Was she there? And then there was Wes. When Andy whined about time, Wes approached Maria only to be shouted down and insulted. When Andy whined about the shots, Wes approached Maria only to be shouted down and insulted. I say put Wes and Maria in Amazing Race 7!
The catalog they created showed nothing new, nothing innovative, nothing that would aid the customer, a la Ivana's wheel of denim. Then there was the presentation. People – you're presenting to Levi's and you can't even get it together to wear Levi's to the meeting? Jeesh! Wes is so clearly in the mailroom this week and I was tempted to put Maria in there, too, but I just want her gone. Maria, security will escort you out. Leave your badge at reception. As for the corner office, Mosaic proved to be the mirror image of Apex this week and, as I cannot in good conscience award anyone in Apex a mailroom stool for the week, I cannot see my way to giving anyone at Mosaic the corner office. Shape up, guys. Your two weakest links are now gone.
That's it for this week. However, as I promised, I hereby present the tally for mailroom/corner office for those who seem to believe I can predict the winner:
NEVER IN THE MAILROOM: Jennifer, Kelly, Sandy, John, Rob (out Week 1)
Honorary corner office: Ilsa (men's designer during dress challenge, week 6)
NEVER IN THE CORNER OFFICE: Elizabeth, Wes, Chris, Stacy R., Pamela, Rob (out Week 1)
Hope that helps. Feel free to share thoughts/disagreements/nominations with me. I love to hear from you.
If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these other Apprentice 2 Episode 1 articles:
Mel Ellis is a prosecutor and loves a good debate. Feel free to email her with your thoughts on who should be or should have been mail clerks or apprentice CEO's. You can reach Mel at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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