Big Brother 4, September 12 Live Feed Highlights: Enemy Mimeby Sting7 with Brian James -- 09/13/2003
The snow has melted and the HouseGuests have been given a schedule of events. Today is the luxury competition. Saturday will be America's Choice. Sunday is Part 2 of the Head of Household competition. Also, the HouseGuests have been given riddles to solve as part of the food competition and were given mosaic stepping stones to keep from dying of boredom!
Alison says she has a dream with some of the jury in it. That's weird, says Jun. Freaked her out, says Alison. They get a new riddle. 50 red marbles, 50 blue marbles. What is the best way to maximize your chances of pulling a red one? Jun and Alison wrestle with this for awhile. Alison says she's glad to have something to occupy her mind. Jun grows bored with it and grooms. Again. Alison seems to settle on putting all the blue marbles in first and then the red ones on top.
Over breakfast, Ali and Jun compare their knowledge of the evicted HouseGuests’ last names. Justin Giovinco: Jun says he doesn't look Italian. Ali says he's part Scottish. Jun says she can guess which part. (Heh!) David Lane: they agree it sounds like a porn name. Nathan Marlow: Alison says it makes him sound sexier than he deserves. Robert is still sleeping.
Alison is told her Food Challenge guess is correct. Robert finally gets up half an hour before the Luxury Competition. He shows the girls something he made for his daughter with his mosaic stones. Then he goes and does the usual Robert-isms - scratching and twitching. Alison can't believe she was asked why she was crying during her eviction speech to Erika. Lots of smack about Erika. They wonder what Jack's advice to Erika was when he was leaving. Alison is sure it was about her (correct). Alison says Erika was pathetic getting down on her hands and knees after Ali won Diamond Veto. Jun says she's glad she didn't do anything like that. They agree Erika didn't act 33 (they act like she was infirm!).
(Meanwhile there is a huge bowed box in the back yard!)
More smack from Jun and Alison. They didn't think Amanda was pretty. Michelle either. (Oh, come on!) Jun thought Dana was cute until she opened her mouth. Ali said she never went there. Ali can't see how Justin could have been attracted to her and Dana; she proclaims Dana is the ugliest person Justin ever dated. (All hope of friendship is officially dead!)
Now to the guys. Ali thought David was cute (I guess so!). Justin’s picture is a bad one. They can’t believe Jack shaves his body hair. Thought Robert had nice eyes. Alison calls Scott a faggot. (Classy.) They agree they hated him. They don’t think Nathan photographs well.
Robert comes back and says it’s OK to dress casual for the luxury competition. They discuss packing. Robert adds he wants nothing to do with his gnome. Big Brother says the luxury competition is on now. To the backyard!
They go out and see the package. Robert wants to open the package, but Ali shrieks, “Don’t touch it!” Knocking noise... what the - a mime springs out! It’s their key to the luxury competition! Jun is screaming and jumping up and down. Mime, as he shall be referred to hereafter, starts doing lots of mime stuff. Alison hides behind Robert: “That thing is freaking me out!”
Mime grabs Jun and starts acting something out; Ali tells Robert it’s checking for lice. (Heh!) (Mime is doing all kinds of stuff and if there is a pattern to it, I don’t get it, so I won’t try to recap his every move!)
Mime has established a “cage” that he puts HouseGuests in when they misbehave. Jun accuses Mime of flirting with Robert. Jun gets put in the cage and Mime swallows the key! Jun says, “He’s so sensitive!”
Mime is all over the house; Jun laughs at everything he does, while Ali gets annoyed that she can’t make sense out of his “clues.” Later, Robert says he’s hungry; Jun wonders if Mime is staying for lunch. “Can we feed him?” Ali asks Big Brother. (Ha!)
Mime likes chasing Alison since she’s so weirded out by him!
They show Mime the pictures of the HouseGuests. Mime really likes Dana’s and clutches her picture to his bosom. “EEEW!” shriek Ali and Jun. Ali calls him “intruder” repeatedly like she just learned the word today.
At one point, Mime goes into the Diary Room, but someone forgot to turn off the intercom and the HouseGuests hear him talking (oops!). Ali says in the mike, “Dude, I don’t like this!” Meanwhile, they try to go over Mime’s instructions while he is away. Ali says, “Let’s just stick him back in the box and mail him home!” The HouseGuests seem tired of him now.
The now-crabby HouseGuests try to ignore Mime. Mime offers Jun chips. “No thanks - I’m not doing carbs this week. Besides, you put my shoe in it,” she tells him. Mime sits next to Jun. She says he has a nice head of hair. “Jack lost his. He’s bald, you know,” she informs him. Mime makes a “what are you gonna do?” motion. (Priceless!) Mime sits next to Robert. Robert, talking in italics again, says, “This is what we do all day! Every day!” Mime motions that he’s hot. Then he gets on ground and pretends to be a frying egg. The HouseGuests aren’t even close to being amused anymore. Robert says he can’t take it anymore and jumps into the pool and splashes Mime!
Robert threatens to throw Mime in the pool! Mime sits next to Jun and Alison at the table. Looks a bit nervous. Then he grabs his bag and waves like he’s leaving. But the house is on lockdown. FOTH.
Back; HouseGuests in the house. So is Mime (shift ain’t over yet buddy!). Jun is cooking. Mime finds Alison trying to sleep. He starts messing with the blankets. Alison screeches, “Leave me alone! Jun!!!!!” He chases her again. She’s screaming.
She looks into a camera and says, “F**k you guys for this!”
Ali is trying to escape to the Diary Room and the storage room, but both are locked. Big Brother is keeping Ali in her own personal horror movie! Mime tries to help Jun in the kitchen. Decides to juggle things. Badly. Eggs. Pancake batter? Making a huge mess. Ali tells him to step outside like she’s going to fight him. Jun starts cleaning him. Mime chases Ali with uncooked chicken!
Then, back to making more messes. Pouring salt and pepper on the ground. Jun is slack-jawed and yells to Robert that he has to see this. Ali has had it: “Come on, dude! You wanna go? Bring it!” She says she’s looking for a rope to tie him up with.
Mime starts chasing Alison again. Jun giggles. Jun says to pretend he’s their nine-year-old cousin visiting. Ali says she doesn’t have a nine-year-old cousin, then asks if Jun has considered this Mime may be on crack! Mime puts pancake mix in a paper towel roll and blows it out.. Then he puts a steel bowl on a confused-looking Robert’s head. (He’s probably still thinking there are clues in this!)
Mime acts like he wants a knife. Ali says, “Oh no, dude, you are NOT getting a knife!” Mime throws an avocado at Ali. She catches it and says, “Ease up, Mimeboy, we only get food once a week!” Robert falls on the ground laughing.
Ali is trying to fry her chicken for fajitas, but Mime pours Gatorade into the pan. She looks like she may hit him. Jun makes tuna sandwiches. Robert is eating his intently. Mime sits next to Robert and mimics his eating and scratching. Robert says, “F**k it! I can’t take this! F**k the luxury!” and storms off to the bathroom. Mime follows him and tries to tell him about the luxury - rowing, fishing, paddling. Robert just shakes his head, annoyed. Ali calls to Robert to finish his sandwich. Robert ignores her. Mime is reaching out, but Robert is rejecting him. (Awww.)
Jun wonders what Robert will do to Mime. Robert comes back out. Mime brought him a sandwich, trying to make nicey-nice. Mime acts that he’s staying over all night. Ali says, “The hell you are!” Ali goes to sulk on the couch. Robert looks like he’s looking for an exit. Jun asks Mime if he wants a manicure. Mime says no. She says, “It’s nice having people over!”
Robert buzzes the Diary Room. No answer.
Mime messes with Ali on the couch, who is shrieking with rage. Robert tells everyone to go the desert room, which has been decorated like a theater. The winner of the luxury competition gets a preview screening of John Grisham’s Runaway Jury with a guest. Robert thinks it’s silly that they all can’t see it.
Now the real competition: they get to throw color-coded Velcro balls at Mime! The first one to make three stick wins! They begin. The winner is...
Robert! He chooses Ali as his date. Mime bids them adieu. They are like, “See ya!” Ali has somehow construed that she and Robert will get to go the actual premiere. How, I don’t know. Robert comes out of Diary Room and confirms that he and she can bring dates to the Hollywood premiere! He’s celebrating in Jun’s face. Classless.
Jun says she will be in the backyard. Awww.
But wait! Jun won’t be alone while Ali and Robert are watching their movie in the desert room - unbeknownst to Ali and Robert, Mime returns to keep her company! Jun says she’s lonely, so Mime offers her a hanky - after he blows his nose in it. She giggles. Mime mime-cleans the house for her. Jun mentions she’d love to play a board game right about now, and he produces a deck of cards. They play a game where the object is to slide the deck as close to the edge of the table as possible, then play kitchen table ping pong. He teaches her some mime moves and has her star in a mime photo session. They split a beer and he indicates that Ali is crazy and Robert is depressed and constantly picking his nose. (Score one for Mime!) Jun laughs. Mime gives Jun a mime pedicure. Mime indicates that he has a daughter and shoots Jun a reproachful look when she asks if it’s as old as she is; his daughter’s nine!
Mime needs to leave again, but before he does, decides to terrorize Ali. He grabs her stuffed elephant; Jun tells him to put it trunk-first into a big vase. He hides her stuffed cat under some cushions and puts a bunch of coffee cups on her bed and covers them up with a quilt. Hee! With that, Mime bids her adieu. Too bad. At this point, he probably could have won the game.
When Ali and Robert emerge from the movie, Ali predictably screeches about her missing stuffed animals and tears the house apart looking for them. Unfortunately, in the process of searching for her cat, she uncovers the coffee cups on her bed. “Oh, I wondered what he’d done with those,” says Jun, who’s feigning innocence about Mime’s pranks. Heh. Ali then discovers an invasion of red ants at the top of her lungs and goes nuts with the Raid. Aaaaaand that wraps up one of the most surreal days ever in the Big Brother house!
Sting7 can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Brian James is an actor/writer/singer in New York City and the Assistant Editor of RealityNewsOnline. An avid reality show, Passions, early Ryan’s Hope, retro music, and Internet discussion board junkie, Brian would like to stress that his writings are based solely on what he sees in each episode of each show and realizes that there may sometimes be more to the story and that people may behave quite differently under normal circumstances. Comments and cybertomatoes accepted at BrianJamesRNO@earthlink.net.
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