America’s Next Top Model 4, Episode 3: You Walk That Runway, Girl!

As I’m sure you remember, last week the girls arrived in L.A. and got comfy in their new loft. Each of them was given a makeover, and while some dealt with the pain, others were just a pain in the booty. I’m looking at you, Brandy. However, it was Brita who lacked edge and was sent home. I still don’t agree with it, but until I’m a judge on the show, there is nothing I can do about that. There are 13 girls left, so who is going home tonight?

We begin with the girls getting Tyra Mail. It tells them that tomorrow they will battle to the death in the coliseum. Oh geez, this is turning into The Inferno. Rebecca says that all the girls are nice right now, but she is there to give it her all. Michelle is just worried about living with other girls since she never had to do that before. Tiffany tells the camera that the smallest things get on Michelle’s nerves. I can relate – I’m impossible to live with.

Brandy knows that, since she was in the bottom two last week, she has to work on her attitude. She also knows that her greatest opponent right now is herself. I’m glad she finally realizes that. Still don’t like her though. The girls get to the stadium and see some cheerleaders. Brandy says she hates cheerleaders, and that’s when Ms. J. comes out in a cheerleader outfit himself. Christina thinks he looks cute, while Sarah remarks that if Ms. J. is involved, so is runway!

Ms. J. tells them to put on some clogs and walk down the lines in the field. He says that they have to learn to walk on grass. Everyone stars their walk, and Ms. J. isn’t so sure about Michelle, who he feels has the world on her shoulder. Naima is told she looks like a melted candle, while Ms. J. thinks Lluvy is great for a beginner. Sarah has to learn to pick it up and easily has the worst walk of the group. The girls are then told that there are 13 pairs of high heels in the stands waiting for them. All the girls go running to find them, and everyone acts nuts while looking. You would think they were looking for gold! Finally, the girls stumble upon the shoes, and Ms. J. gives them each an accessory to walk with, such as a cooler, hockey stick, boxing gloves, etc.

Ms. J. tells them that they have to learn to walk with an accessory and still not be over the top. Each girl takes their turn walking down the steps with their accessory, after Ms. J. demonstrates with his accessory, the pom-poms. Some of the girls almost fall, but Brandy really seems to be having some issues. Brittany is still looking a little too sexy, while Sarah is a walking disaster. Rebecca says she loves runway, but never had any formal training. Ms. J. says that Brittany is definitely comfortable strutting her stuff, but she needs to stop being Janice Dickenson. Brittany says she is hearing that she is too sexy, but she actually likes that. Ms. J. congratulates the girls on their first runway session, then sends them on their own way.

Back at the loft, Keenyah helps Sarah practice her walk. Sarah is happy to get some tips and is especially happy that Keenyah is helping. However, Keenyah tells the camera that she doesn’t want to give away too much! I have to admit it – I love Keenyah! The girls then play around and make some poses, while Michelle breaks away and says she is losing some of her confidence around the other girls. Tyra mail arrives and asks, "Which aisle will have the special?" The girls better be ready early.

In the morning, the girls head out, and it turns out they are headed to K-Mart! Tiffany doesn’t care, since it’s her favorite shopping spot. Her words – not mine. However, I love her about 20 times more now! J. Alexander (Ms. J.) greets the girls and tells them it’s time for a runway challenge. Their job as a top model will be to take everyday items and make them fabulous. Naima is happy about this since she shops at K-Mart all the time. I don’t want to say that I do – but I do. Is that wrong? Sandi Bass is there to help judge, and she herself is a top model and model scout.

The girls will face off in a runway duel. Each time two girls go down the runway, one of them will be eliminated. The first match is Christina v. Brittany. Brittany is eliminated. Brandy and Naima go next, and Brandy is the next girl done. Next, it's Noelle v. Rebecca, and then it's goodbye Noelle. Tiffany goes against Michelle, and Michelle is next one out. Kahlen goes up against Lluvy, and while Ms. J. is doing commentary, it’s Lluvy that goes next. In the next match-up, it's Tatiana v. Keenyah, and Tatiana is gone. Ms. J. says that Sarah is in a category of her own as she takes to the runway. He then eliminates her. I actually crack up at this point.

Kahlen is the next girl eliminated, followed by Tiffany. Christina is next, and then comes Keenyah. Rebecca and Naima are the only girls left. They face off against each other, and Naima knows that it has to be her, while Rebecca says that she has to be the best. Ms. J. announces that the winner is Rebecca, and she is happy to be on the top. For her win, she gets to meet a famous shoe designer and bring five girls with her. Rebecca chooses Kahlen, Sarah, Noelle, Lluvy, and Naima, since Naima came in second. The girls who didn’t win will have to serve the other girls. Keenyah is a little surprised by this; she's confused that she did better than some of the girls that were chosen, yet she has to serve them. I’m confused too. Why not just reward the five best?

The girls pile into the van and head out. Naima is excited as the girls find out they'll be meeting Stuart Weitzman. Rebecca is thrilled when she finds out she can pick her own pair of shoes to keep. The girls she picked will also get a pair. Brittany is pissed that some of the girls did bad and get a free pair of shoes, while Michelle is just worried about the way the shoes are arranged in the back and that she will get squashed by the contraption. Kahlen says there aren’t shoes like that in Oklahoma, and she’s also happy that she doesn’t have to serve.

Keenyah starts to play around with Michelle and acts like she is going to squash her in the shoe machine. Michelle has a meltdown and gets upset. She starts to cry, while Keenyah tries to tell her that she was just playing. I’m sorry, but Michelle is just too much drama. Brittany thinks that Michelle is just crazy, while Tiffany says the same thing. Michelle knows there is a wall building, but goes out to the other girls and acts happy. Tiffany is baffled, as am I.

While they wait for the other girls, Brittany says that Rebecca is being very snooty. Rebecca says that she is trying to be a gracious winner, but she worked hard for the win. Tiffany says that the winning girls are making them all feel like crap. Brandy is trying pretty hard to curb her attitude, while Rebecca tells the camera that she can’t choose everyone. The girls head out with their shoes and everyone looks like they are happy to end this all. The madness I tell you – the madness!

Rebecca tells the camera she is not there to feed egos, she is there for herself. You go, girl! Tyra mail arrives. While the other girls read it, Michelle stays away. The mail tells them that they will have to work with 10 other bitches. Michelle is now blowing up. and Noelle goes to talk to her. Brandy and Tiffany decide to listen in as Michelle admits to Noelle that she is bisexual. Tiffany and Brandy start laughing, but then go in to comfort Michelle. Michelle explains her situation, while all three of them are very comforting about it, and even Brandy admits that she has had fantasies. That’s a whole other show, folks! Michelle is just reluctant to tell the other girls because she feared they wouldn’t accept her. Honey, it’s 2005, get over it – and while you’re at it, grow a neck. I think I’m in a bad mood – nope, that’s just the bitterness. Okay, I’m good! All in all, the girls accept Michelle's news, and all is well.

The next day the girls head for the shoot. Tiffany says that she already has to deal with 12 bitches, what’s 10 more? The girls walk on their set and meet Jay Manuel, who is waiting for them. They meet the stylist and make-up artist for the shoot and find out this shoot will be for 1-800-FLOWERS. I once got my mom Mother’s Day flowers from them! They were beautiful. The girls will get themselves together first, then meet their costars. Rebecca says that she is feeling pressure, and that’s when Tyra arrives with her dog, telling the other girls that now they should know who their costars are, the bitches – it’s a bunch of dogs! They will have to hold the dogs, hold some flowers, and have some hot dude in the background.

Tiffany is the first girl to go, and she is told to not look hoochie. Tiffany does her thing but says it wasn’t easy. I love her. Christina is up next, and she is told that she needs to show range. Brittany doesn’t want to look slutty, but I think she fails with that. Jay tells her to stop looking porno. Brandy goes next and the photographer loves to shoot her. Keenyah is up next and has some issues, while Naima is slow and can’t command her expressions. Tatiana handles herself well, while Michelle feels better now and is called a pleasure to work with. Lluvy is told she doesn’t have conventional beauty, but that’s what makes her so great. Sarah is called a piece of driftwood, while Noelle is called awkward. Kahlen is popping her butt out too much (I’m not even going to touch that one), and Rebecca is told she looks great. Got all that?

The girls are all done now and are back at the loft. Tyra mail tells them that tomorrow one of them is going home. Sarah says that if they are going on photos alone, she is fine, but if walk is incorporated, she is toast. The next day, the girls try to practice their walks, but lets be honest – if you don’t have it by now, you don’t have it. It’s like studying for a test ten minutes beforehand!

The girls walk into the judging ceremony. Tyra greets them and says it’s time for their second cut. She reminds them of the prizes and introduces them to the judges again, including our guest judge, Sandi Bass. For their test this week, each girl will have to wear a potato sack and convince the judges it’s a $20,000 couture gown. The girls get to work on their challenge, and Keenyah almost falls but keeps going. Most of the girls strut their stuff, while Sarah tries to turn it into a big joke. Tiffany – I’m not sure what she is doing on those stairs, so I’ll just move on. Christina is looking a bit odd, while Michelle is doing nothing right. The judges get a good laugh.

The girls walk back in, and Rebecca has to go first. Nigel likes her walk, but Janice says she didn’t make it look great. They look at her photo, and they love it. Janice says it’s a bit slutty, but she still loves it. At this moment, Rebecca rolls her eyes back and collapses! A paramedic comes in the room as everyone is panicking! Noelle says that she knows Rebecca has this collapse issue, and Rebecca told her that it hasn’t happened in about six or seven years. Tyra goes over to the girls and tells them that Rebecca has been taken to the hospital, but they are going to continue if that’s okay. The girls agree.

Tatiana is the next girl to go, and though they don’t love her walk, her photo is great. Tiffany is told that she needed a cane on the steps in heels, but her photo is one of the best. Sarah comes up next, and the judges say she walked like the funky chicken. They know she was nervous, and although they don’t feel her photo is great, her face is amazing. Lluvy is told that her walk was great this week and she proved that the sack can look fierce. Her photo is also a vast improvement this week.

Michelle is told that her walk was bad and it looked like she was modeling the sack for farmers. Her shot is great, though. Brandy steps up and is told that she looked pissed while she walked. Her shot is alright, but there is no passion. Christina is told that she should have cleared the hair from her face in her walk, and her shot isn’t doing anything, either. Naima has a weak walk as well, and the judges are mixed with her shot. Brittany has too much makeup on from the get-go, and although her walk is a little heavy, she has to be more high fashion. They aren’t sure about her photo though, and compare it to a high class porno.

Noelle is told that her walk looked uncomfortable, but in her shot, the legs looked great. Kahlen steps up and is told that she needs a jolt, and the judges aren’t happy with the picture, either. Keenyah fell with her walk, but still rebounded. They love her photo and say it’s probably the best of the week.

Time for the judges to deliberate. They all feel that Lluvy was saved by her photo and walk this week, while Michelle has no stage presence. Noelle is adorable, while Keenyah looks bad in person, but fierce in photos. Sarah is too up and down, but has amazing bone structure. Tatiana has a small face, but Nigel is pulling for her. Naima is splitting the judges, while Janice says that Brittany does not look like her. Kahlen has to turn it out, and Christina has these manic eyes that judges just aren’t sure about. Brandy still has to turn down the ego, and Rebecca looks scared.

At this point, Rebecca finally leaves the hospital. She says that she has always had problems with fainting, and it’s not life-threatening, just scary. She has a talk with Tyra and tells her that she wants to go to the elimination ceremony, thankful that they didn’t eliminate her for the collapse.

The girls walk back in the room, and Tyra tells them that she has photos of 12 girls. They will be the 12 girls that are continuing on. The first girl called is Keenyah. Yay! After Keenyah comes Tatiana and Rebecca, who Tyra admires for returning so soon. Tiffany is called next, followed by Lluvy, Naima and Christina. Then comes Brandy. Only four more girls will be called. Noelle is next, followed by Michelle and Kahlen, who lets out the biggest sigh of relief ever!

Sarah and Brittany step up. Tyra only has one photo. Brittany is told she has too much sexuality, and not in a Victoria Secret way, but in a triple X kind of way. Sarah is melting down, and although she has a strong face, the judges worry that she doesn’t love herself. The girl that is called… is Brittany! Brittany begins to break down, as Tyra tells her that she has to tone it down. Sarah is dismissed and tells the camera that she has more natural talent then some of the other girls, like Brittany, who is the porn princess. Can you say “bitter?” Sarah, you were the worst this week, get over it. She tells the camera that she is used to failing, so this is no surprise. Wow, glad to know she has a high self esteem.

Next week, the girls are going to be under pressure on the tennis court. Michelle flips out, Brandy flips out and Tiffany flips out. I can see a theme here, and I love every minute of it. Here’s how I rank the girls at this point:

Naima
Keenyah
Tiffany
Rebecca
Christina
Noelle
Tatiana
Michelle
Kahlen
Lluvy
Brittany
Brandy

If you want to see what Sarah had to say about her time on the show, be sure to click here to read my interview with her!

Phil Kural is a recent graduate from Temple University, with a degree in journalism. You can reach him at pkural@gmail.com with any feedback that you may have.

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