Surviving the Cook Islands, Episode 11: The “Filthy, Miserable Rat” vs. the “Lazy, Selfish Girl”

Before we begin this week, I’d like to thank Jenn Brasler for ably subbing for me last week in doing the Survivor recap. I was able to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family while Jenn was slaving away over a hot computer typing about Jonathan doing a double-double-cross.

Speaking of which, this is going to be fun – I can tell just from the previews. Adam, Candice, and Parvati thought they had the game in the bag. They are going to be pissed off! So let’s get right to it!

Indeed, we begin as the players are walking back from Tribal Council. They arrive at camp and Jonathan tells Candice that if it wasn’t going to be him, it was going to be her. She says she can understand, but I don’t believe her.

Jonathan tells us that he switched the game around and, frankly, he’d rather play with the Aitu people and see them win. Yeah, me too. He believes he made the right choice.

Sundra, Ozzy, and Yul talk – she says it took everything she had to contain herself when Nate was voted out and the Raros had stunned looks on their faces. Yul says they’re golden. Uh oh. You never say that on Survivor. Never.

Yul tells us they took a huge risk but he wanted to use the idol in a way to reset the game in his favor – and it worked. Indeed it did. I know some people have complained about the idol not being used last season and still not this season, but Yul did use the idol… without using the idol!

Jonathan and the remaining Raros are sitting around, and Parvati tells him he’s pissed everyone in the game off and she hopes he’s happy with second place. Uh, well, it’s better than fifth, which is about where he was guaranteed if he had stayed with the Raros. So that’s not really much of a slam there, Parvati. She continues, saying he played himself out and she’s disappointed in him. “It’s vile to me. I feel sick to my stomach.” God, and Jonathan is the actor? Parvati’s being a drama queen. Get over it.

Instead, she complains to the camera that she felt nauseous and wanted to throw up all over Jonathan’s face. Then she continues to him, saying he wasn’t going home – but he says yes, he could have been. He explains that if he didn’t go with them, they would have voted for him, the Raros would have voted for Yul, he would have used the idol, end of story. Parvati insists that Yul doesn’t have the idol. You know, she sounds so damned sure – what an idiot.

Jonathan says, “Yul does have the idol. He showed me the idol. I don’t know what you think you’re talking about!” Whoops. The look on Adam’s face is priceless. And Parvati even shuts up! Well, for a second. Then she says she doesn’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth. Maybe, but who looks like the fool on national television right now? One hint: She shares a first name with a minor character in the Harry Potter series.

Jonathan walks away as Parvati tells us she couldn’t control herself – she snapped at him and told him how she felt. “I think that he’s a filthy, miserable rat.” Why? Because he didn’t side with you and get fifth place – or worse, get voted off immediately. Instead, he played for himself. How dare he?!

The next morning, Sundra is showing Parvati how to gut a fish. Jonathan voices over that Parvati had never done or even seen it done – in 28 days! “I don’t know how that’s possible.” It’s easy, Jonathan – she’s lazy. Indeed, Jonathan is thinking the same thing I am, saying, “She’s a lazy, selfish girl.” And he adds that a million dollars would not help her, but would screw her life up. Ah, so he was just looking out for her. I’m sure that will make her feel better.

Jonathan doesn’t only share these feelings with us – when Parvati leaves, he says essentially the same thing about fish gutting to the Aitus.

Cut to Adam sitting around complaining, “The game’s not as fun in this position.” Awww, poor Adam. He says, “Jonathan sucks at life.” Parvati’s nausea has apparently not gone away, as she still wants to throw up.

Jonathan lectures the Aitus about how this is a social game and they all worked well together. Then he came to Raro and saw he was in “the clown house.” Maybe he should have thought about that before mutinying.

No time to think about that more now, though – it’s the reward challenge. Well, not a challenge so much, but the Survivor auction. They each start with $500, with bidding in increments of $20. But unlike past auctions we’ve seen, they cannot share food (though they can borrow money). The auction will end without warning.

First item up for bids is… unknown. Jonathan bids $20. Parvati just then realizes that they don’t know what it is. She’s a sharp one! Bidding quickly goes up and Jonathan ends up getting it for $100. What is the “it” in question? Hot dog, fries, and a beer. And really, at $100, that’s not a bad deal – about what he would have paid at a ballgame.

Whoops! When sitting back down on the bench, Jonathan spills some of his beer! There’s 10 bucks down the drain.

The next item is a hot bubble bath along with a piece of chocolate cake. Parvati starts at $10 and Ozzy quickly bumps it to $100, with Adam jumping in for $160. Parvati is surprised that Adam is involved, but he says he stinks. A bidding war ensues with Parvati and others, then Jonathan jumps in at $300. Parvati goes $320 and Jonathan ups her at $340. Probst wonders if Jonathan really wants it or just wants her to spend all her money. Ooooh, devious. Parvati bids $360 and gets it. I’m betting Jonathan just wanted her to spend her money.

Parvati gets right into the bathtub (sorry, guys – she keeps her bathing suit on) and starts scrubbing off 28 days of grime. She says this is her favorite day.

While Parvati is still bathing, the next item is revealed. OK, it’s not – just a clue is: “This will give you power in this game.” Hmmm. You know, I’d bid all my money based just on that, because power in the game is a lot more important than a bath or a hot dog. Bidding quickly escalates with Jonathan hitting $400 (which is all he has left). Candice bids $500 – all her money. But Becky gets a promise of a loan from Yul and bids $600! Parvati chimes in from the bath wondering why Becky needs it if they have the numbers. What a dumb question – if you have the numbers, you want to keep the numbers, and who knows what this item might be.

Candice gets the okay from Adam for a loan and bids $620. Becky gets the nod from Yul and bids $640 – the winning bid. She opens the note and reads it: “You must send one person to Exile Island immediately and take the rest of their money for yourself.” Ha! See, Parvati, that’s why you bid on things like this.

The Aitus cheer as Becky reads the note. The Raros, not so much. Yul helpfully points out to Becky that both Candice and Adam still have their full $500. And surprising exactly nobody, Candice is once again sent to Exile Island. I’m laughing! Candice isn’t. Probst asks what she’s thinking as she’s about to head out for the fourth time. She says something about food.

Probst says that although it’s day 29, there is still the possibility that the hidden immunity idol is on Exile Island. Candice says she thinks she knows where it is. Yul speaks up that he can end the suspense – he has it. Probst asks if he brought it with him. Yup. He pulls it out of his bag and shows them. Parvati says it looks authentic. Yup, and now you really look pretty stupid, don’t you?

Probst asks Yul why he wanted everyone to know that he has the idol. Yul says he wanted to play it at a critical moment in the game, which is what happened last Tribal Council. He explains how they had to make somebody switch and change the direction of the game.

With that, Candice is sent packing and Adam just shakes his head while Parvati pouts in the tub while scrubbing her back.

The auction must go on! And the next item up for bids is a never-ending ice cream maker. Well, never-ending as long as they’re at the auction, that is. Jonathan immediately bets his remaining $400. Jonathan smiles and ups the bid by $20 he knows Jonathan doesn’t have. “Sold to dolpin-boy,” says Probst.

As Ozzy pulls the lever for his first cone, ice cream shoots out at him as if it was under a bit too much pressure. At Jonathan’s urging, he decides not to bother with the cone, but just sticks his mouth under the spigot (for lack of a better term) and lets the ice cream flow.

The next item is a mystery, and Jonathan once again buys it – this time for $240. It’s a pepperoni pizza! He sits and eats it rather noisily, with lots of “mmm”s, driving Adam and Sundra crazy.

Another covered item gets a bid of $140 from Sundra. Yummy – a sea cucumber from their beach.

Next is a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash. Jonathan bids $100 and nobody goes against him. He pays the $100 and gives Probst a tip of his last $20. He really should have kept that to loan to an ally who might have needed it.

Yul says if this is the end of the challenge, he’s going to jump off a bridge. Well, he’d better get hopping, ‘cus it is. Wow, Jonathan really raked it in. And some of the others just got zip.

Ew. We begin the next segment by watching an eel regurgitate its last meal. Why do the producers think we want to see that?

The players are sitting around the beach as Yul says the hard part was watching other people eat. Jonathan actually has the nerve to complain he’s much thirstier after having eaten all that food. He burps and says he wouldn’t eat that much food in the real world. Um, Jonathan, I think it’s time to shut up about all the food you ate. Really. As he walks away, Becky comments that after his burp, she can really smell the pepperoni.

Sundra complains to Yul about how obnoxious Jonathan just was, including the burp. Yul agrees, and Sundra continues that she would hate to see Jonathan in the final four. Yul asks if it makes them want to reconsider the order. No! Say no! You can’t let the fact that he’s obnoxious change your strategy! Don’t do it! But we don’t see the reply.

Adam and Parvati go off together as she tells him how pissed off people are about Jonathan’s display. Is it a crack in the alliance? Parvati talks to Becky and Sundra about how Jonathan revealed a lot about himself. Parvati says if Jonathan gets to the final four, she’ll shoot herself.

Parvati tells us that she’s hoping the game could get flipped on top of its head once more. Um, can she do math? Does she understand that even if the Aitus vote out Jonathan now, they still have four and she still has three? That’s not flipping the game on its head – it’s just delaying her demise for one vote.

When Adam and Parvati leave, Sundra and Becky talk about how they really dislike Jonathan a lot. Really? This is a surprise? Sundra says people don’t like to see those like Jonathan get ahead – he’s too arrogant.

Yul joins the discussion and agrees that Jonathan’s true personality is coming out. But then Jonathan walks up and joins them. He tells us that he knows something is up, but he’s not sure what.

Let’s go visit Candice on Exile Island! She cries about how tough it is to keep going there over and over again. Kinda makes you think you shouldn’t have mutinied, eh, Candice? She just wants a hug. Awww. Gag.

She does think she’s next on the chopping block and needs to win immunity. She wishes she wasn’t feeling so down.

Speaking of immunity, treemail arrives. The clue talks about how they need to remember key moments in the game – their past will affect their future. Adam tells us the challenge is important to him and he doesn’t like what Jonathan stands for. “He’s just a dirty, dirty rat.” To get revenge against Jonathan and remain in the game, Adam feels he needs to win.

The tribe arrives at the challenge and Candice is brought back to them. Ozzy waves goodbye to the immunity necklace and Probst explains the challenge. They will be quizzed on how well they recollect the events of the last 30 days. On go, they will read four questions that give answers in the form of numbers. They will then add, subtract, or divide the answers to come up with a final number. They untie the corresponding box to search for a key, which unlocks a pin that, when pulled, raises a flag. First three to raise their flags move on to the final round (yikes – I thought for a moment he was going to say the first three get immunity!). But no, just the winner of the final round wins immunity.

And they’re off! What is the total number of pieces used to construct the stepping stones for the fifth immunity challenge? Yeesh. What is the number of plaster boxes to be smashed with a club in the challenge to win the catalog reward? What is the number of days since the Aitu tribe mutinied, including today? What is the number of people currently in the jury?

Jonathan, then Ozzy, then Yul think they have the right numbers and start untying bags. Parvati does likewise. Jonathan finds that he was wrong – no key. Same with Ozzy. But Parvati gets the key and raises her flag with a squeal.

Adam finds a key. So does Jonathan, and Candice. Jonathan and Adam raise their flags, but Candice is just seconds too late.

The final round is a bit more involved. There are more questions and then the key unlocks a timber tunnel that they have to crawl through before running over a series of floating pontoons. Then they raise their flag.

And they’re off again! What is the number of immunity challenges so far, including this one? What is the number of Survivors at Tribal Council during the lamb shank feast? What is the number of underwater flags in the barrel-rolling competition? Adam is the first to come up with an answer, but is he right? Yes!

Parvati and Jonathan are looking, but Adam is already in the tunnel. Jonathan is wrong, Parvati is right – but it’s way too late. Jonathan is out of the tunnel and onto the pontoons. He has to crawl over them but he makes it and raises his flag. Adam wins immunity!

Back at camp, Candice tells us it looks like her number is up, and she’s upset that Jonathan will get farther than her in the game. Um, Candice, that could be because Jonathan has actually been playing the game while you’ve apparently believed you’re on The Bachelor.

There seems to be a group discussion about Jonathan. Yul wants to know how Adam and Parvati think it helps them for Jonathan to be voted off. They say it doesn’t, but it would give them peace of mind. Then Jonathan returns with the day’s fishing catch and it suddenly gets quiet.

Yul says Adam, Parvati, and Candice had approached him to appeal to his sense of integrity and vote off Jonathan first. But he tells them he knows how Jonathan behaves – he’s selfish and rational, and he can predict what Jonathan will go for. The three of them note that they will be on the jury and Yul should consider that. “If you get rid of Jonathan first, we’ll vote for you.” Hmmm. I don’t know if I believe them, but that’s a powerful negotiating tool. But Yul says it’s not that simple – if they change things up now, it will have other ramifications.

As they’re talking, Jonathan walks smack dab into the middle of the conversation, smiling at them. Yul just looks at him and says they’re doing what they obviously should be doing. He continues to the Raros, saying he’s sorry, but he’s just trying to be honest with them.

As Jonathan is puttering around during this uncomfortable discussion, he picks up some coconut and Parvati says Adam was eating it. Jonathan says he’s sorry, he didn’t realize it was Adam’s. He gives it back but then Adam gives it back to him, saying he doesn’t want the rest.

Jonathan walks off to get firewood and tells us that things finally came to a head at camp. He returns and they start cooking the fish, but the three Raros are cuddling in the shelter, with Parvati being the third wheel while Candice and Adam kiss. Jonathan hears their giggles and wonders to the Aitus if they really need to share the fish. Ozzy says no, “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” They all thank Jonathan for the fish.

Suddenly, Adam and his girls wonder what’s up. Where did the others go? Are they eating? Yup. Candice says, “That is wrong.” Is it? I’m not so sure.

She gets up to confront the eaters, asking what’s going on. “Since when do you guys not share food? That’s just so arrogant and so rude, I can’t believe this.” Most of them continue eating, but Jonathan asks if she called him a disgusting rat and should be voted out. She says he’s a rat because he betrays everybody in the game and everybody knows he only cares about himself. She continues that Yul even said he’s selfish and predictable.

Both Jonathan and Yul try to get a word in edgewise. Yul says she shouldn’t speak for him, he can speak for himself. He engages her in this discussion, admitting he said Jonathan was a “self-interested, rational player.” She corrects him – “selfish.” And she says Yul admitted he doesn’t like Jonathan. See, this is why you shouldn’t divulge secrets to your enemy.

She continues, saying “all these people” (the Aitus) have said they don’t like Jonathan.

But Jonathan doesn’t appear immediately interested in that gossip. He wants to talk about this meal. He says they all came home— Candice interrupts to say everybody has their day when they lay down. He says, “That’s bollocks and you know it!” The rest of them don’t choose their days to lay down in the tent. He works his ass off every day— she again interrupts, this time to say it’s because he’s trying to weasel his way in. Well, it worked to keep him around on Raro! And whose fault was that?

Jonathan sarcastically thanks her for not namecalling. She says she’s not – and then repeats the weasel comment. “How dare you,” he asks. “How dare you imply that I’m behaving differently today than I have for the last 30 days.” With that, he ends the discussion.

Later, Yul and Becky talk as Yul wonders how he will get on the jury’s good side. He could do it by eliminating Jonathan, and they’d still be up four to three. What’s interesting is that Yul keeps talking with “I.” If “I” vote off Jonathan, for example. Not “we.” Hmmm.

Once again, he’s being too honest here, and I think we can see it in Becky’s face. He talks about how he doesn’t want the jury hating him to the point that they vote for whomever he might be up against in the final two. Of course, that person might well be Becky, at least in her mind! So final two strategy is not really a good thing to be discussing…

Time for Tribal Council. Probst brings in the jury and starts the questioning. Becky is asked about why she sent Candice to Exile Island for the fourth time. Becky doesn’t admit that it was sheer revenge, but says Candice was the fiercest competitor. Riiiight.

Candice says she loves the game, even though it’s been rough. You have to keep smiling.

Ozzy is asked what happened at camp after the immunity challenge. He says he spent a lot of time looking for firewood and getting the fire going. Jonathan went fishing. Candice, Parvati, and Adam went into the tent. That later caused a huge ordeal with the five eating fish and the three not. Candice chimes in that the five were “not sharing the fish.” Wah wah wah.

Parvati says they were not invited to dinner. She continues that the three of them know they’re on the outside, so they were spending time with each other. “Apparently, it pissed some people off that we weren’t helping around camp. So Jonathan gets back and decides that he doesn’t want to share the fish that he’s caught.”

Adam chimes in that he thinks everybody but Jonathan was cool with them working together. Um, working? When? But he says he doesn’t really know what Jonathan thinks because they haven’t spoken.

Probst asks if they’re not speaking to each other, and Adam says he doesn’t really care for Jonathan. There’s an understatement! Nate practically jumps for joy on the jury. Parvati says it’s interesting that the more comfortable Jonathan gets with his position in the game, the more his true colors show. “It just shows the level of immaturity.” Oy. She continues that she’s half his age and claims she’s “twice as mature.” Did she hear herself after the last Tribal Council? Get real.

Jonathan says it’s all starting to come out. He understands that they’re hurt or disappointed but there were five people working and three who don’t do any work. So when is it not appropriate to just have people waiting for the dinner bell so they can be fed?

Candice says she thinks it’s an arrogance thing. They have the numbers, they got the food, so they don’t need to feed the Raros. Ozzy makes a face that indicates he disagrees. She continues that all the Aitus have said they don’t like Jonathan. Adam says everybody knows what he is, it’s no secret.

Jonathan wants to know what he is, and Adam obliges (see, they’re talking – how sweet), saying, “You’re a rat.” And then adding that he’s a cancer. Jonathan says he doesn’t even know what that means and cuts off Adam, saying, “That’s enough out of you.” Ha! Adam continues, saying there is no reason for Jonathan to be around any longer. Jonathan says he’s earned his place.

Parvati seemingly agrees, though I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic. She says he has outwitted people to get there, and he gives an “oh come on” dismissal. So I guess he at least thinks she’s being sarcastic. But you know, it is true.

Probst says it appears to him that there is a tribe of three, a tribe of four, and then Jonathan. Yul disagrees, and Probst calls him “the U.N.,” who he expects to come in and make everything nice. Yul says obviously when they tell things to the Raros, they’re going to do so in a way that serves their own interest. So they can’t be taken at their word and the way they’re painting the picture is inaccurate. Oooh, good cover.

Parvati says Yul is the puppetmaster and they are all puppets in his play. Yul gets frustrated with her and asks what she expects him to do – she can’t fault him for trying to win! Ah, but she can. She faulted Jonathan, after all. But Parvati claims she’s not and says she respects him completely. Adam chimes in that he would have a lot more respect – as would the rest of the jury – if they cut loose their cancer. He and Parvati then say they would be 1-2-3 after that, sitting ducks.

Probst notes that a lot has been said and Jonathan has been “the hub of 90% of it.” How does he feel? Fine, though obviously he didn’t like being called names. But he’s going to move on with the game.

Candice is asked what the three Raros can do to try to turn things around. Er, Jeff, I think you just saw what they can do – anything to attempt to get another few days. She says they’ve tried everything, and the Aitus are going to vote how they’re going to vote. Maybe it’s with them, maybe not. But she just wants to say that in the end, the jury will make the decision and they need to know what’s really going on around camp. “It’s been kind of ugly.”

With that, it’s time to vote. Of course we don’t see how the Aitus vote, but Jonathan unsurprisingly votes for Candice, saying he’s not going to sacrifice himself for her and she showed her true colors. Candice returns the favor, simply saying, “Wow. Piece of work.” We don’t see Parvati’s or Adam’s vote, but are they really a secret?

Probst tallies and reads the votes: Jonathan, Candice, Jonathan, Candice (and with that we know she’s going, because we have seen nothing to indicate the Aitus are fractured at all), Jonathan, Candice, Candice, and Candice. Buh-bye, Candice. She hugs Parvati goodbye and makes out with Adam. Probst says a kiss is nice, but maybe if it were love he’d have given her the immunity necklace. Heh. And with that she’s snuffed.

Probst says he thinks tonight’s Tribal Council speaks for itself, and he sends them back to camp. I tend to agree, though Jonathan should watch himself and make sure not to get too comfortable. Now that it’s down to just a pair of Raros, there is more breathing room for Yul & co. if they want it.

In her last words, Candice says she had a fabulous time, and she can look herself in the mirror and be comfortable with the way she played. Really? Giving up the game to kiss your boyfriend makes you comfortable with the way you played? To each her own, I guess. The little kiss with Adam was a nice way to leave. Perhaps, but it was also a big part of the reason she left.

Next week: Parvati slashes her fingers with a machete. Ouch. Yul feels the pressure from Jonathan, and says he feels like the Godfather arranging a hit on somebody.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out these Survivor: Cook Islands articles from last episode here on RealityNewsOnline:

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