Dancing with the Stars 4, May 7: Are You Pondering What I’m Pondering?by Jill Jones -- 05/08/2007
Tom Bergeron and his shiny co-host Samantha Harris welcome us to the program. Samantha reminds us that the semi-finals are only one week away. Is it just me or did this season fly by?
Starting off the evening with their first performance are Cheryl Burke and Ian Ziering. Ian tells us that he wanted to do something nice for Cheryl for her birthday, so he gives her a cake with a goober on it. They then proceed to smash cake on one another.
They are doing the foxtrot to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Ian seems a bit stiff. Overall, the dance is elegant, but some of Ian’s moves are sloppy; he does a jump that reminds me of what a child would do. This is probably one of my least favorite performances from this couple.
Len Goodman tells Ian that he took a bit of a dip tonight and that the dance was skippy. Bruno Tonioli agrees with Len and says that Ian jumped too much. Carrie Ann Inaba explains to Ian that he brought charm and exuberance to the dance even though he had problems with his footwork.
Backstage, Samantha tells Cheryl and Ian that their dance was a great way to start the show. Um, according to Len and Bruno, it wasn’t. This is exactly why I don’t recap a lot of what Samantha says.
Carrie Ann gives the couple an eight while Len and Bruno give it a seven. Cheryl and Ian have 22 points so far.
Up next are Kym Johnson and Joey Fatone. The two go to the Kentucky Derby. Basically, he is out campaigning; there’s nothing wrong with that. He also realizes that he has to sell the dances tonight.
They’re performing the waltz to “Always.” The dance is beautiful, but Joey looks a bit cheesy to me. He also has a number on his back as if he’s in a dance marathon. Technically, the dance is excellent, but it’s missing the spark that Kym and Joey usually have.
Bruno tells Joey to stick to razzle-dazzle. Carrie Ann says that Joey shouldn’t hold back. Len compliments Joey on his style and says that the dance was lovely.
Carrie Ann and Len award the dance with a nine; Bruno gives it an eight. The couple has 26 points.
Karina Smirnoff and Billy Ray Cyrus are now ready with their first dance. Billy Ray says that he’s thrilled to have made it this far in the competition. He also promises Karina that he won’t choreography their routines anymore.
They’re doing the foxtrot to “Stand by Your Man.” Billy Ray is trying tonight, but he still comes across as being unsure and uncomfortable. Karina has choreographed some nice moves that he pulls off; they’re not perfect, but he does them the best that he can.
By the way, if I had a butt like Karina’s, I’d wear her dress everywhere… to the butcher, to the circus, to the post office!
Carrie Ann can’t believe Billy Ray is still in the competition. Len says that the dance finally had substance. Bruno says that Billy Ray is deliciously awful and refers to him as crap. Backstage, Billy Ray is not happy. I don’t blame him; it isn’t his fault that he’s still in the competition. He’s doing his best and the fans are voting for him.
Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno give the dance a seven, six, and five respectively. Karina and Billy Ray have 18 points.
Tom tells us that the next performance from Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are dedicated to Laila’s parents, who are in the audience tonight. Everyone gives Muhammad Ali a standing ovation.
In practice, Laila asks Maksim not to make their dances too spicy tonight because of her parents. Maksim says that is he could tell Muhammad only one thing, it would be that Laila is a dancer. Seriously? I think I’d go for something more scandalous and provocative.
They’re dancing the waltz to “May Each Day.” The music, the outfits, and the dance combine to make a beautiful performance. Laila does a fabulous spin that shows how much she has improved throughout the competition. She even blows her dad a kiss during the dance. As someone who loves her dad more than anything else, I’m moved and have to wipe a tear from my eye. Wow! That was one terrific performance. I can’t even describe it.
Tom refers to the dance as “the moment” of the season. Len agrees and says that the dance was beautiful, and Laila’s movements across the floor were great. Bruno tells Laila to watch her posture; otherwise, the dance was beautiful. Carrie Ann says that dancing is about emotion and Laila provided it this evening.
All three of the judges give the dance a nine. Laila and Maksim have 27 points out of 30.
Up now are Julianne Hough and Apolo Anton Ohno. Apolo says that a person sometimes has to get knocked down in order to improve. He also gives props to Julianne’s choreography.
They are doing the tango to “Jesse’s Girl.” Right away, I’m distracted by the music. I have to give credit to Julianne and Apolo, though; the dance is unique and energetic. Apolo’s moves are crisp, but I’m not overwhelmed by the performance. Oh, and Julianne has a flower of gigantic proportions on her shoulder and it makes me itchy. Overall, the couple does a great job, but I didn’t enjoy the dance.
Bruno refers to the dance as electric and inventive. He also says that he’s excited. Good to know. Carrie Ann tells Apolo that he was fantastic. Len says that the dance lacked passion and drama. Bruno tells Len that he’s losing his marbles. Len tells him to shut up. I can’t believe I’m recapping this.
Carrie Ann gives the dance a goober, but it turns out she meant to give it a nine; Len gives it an eight; Bruno gives it a goober. Later on, Carrie Ann’s score is changed to a goober because apparently that’s what she wanted to give the dance. Huh? Julianne and Apolo have 28 points.
Cheryl and Ian are ready with their second dance of the night. They’re dancing the rumba to “Imagine.” Ian generally stands in one place and doesn’t really move from it. Cheryl’s moves are fantastic, but Ian lacks passion. He needs to loosen up.
Carrie Ann says that Ian tried, but it didn’t all come together. Len calls Ian’s hip action great. He also says that Ian thinks too much. Bruno tells Ian that he was in business. I once was in San Antonio, but that’s a different story.
Carrie Ann and Len give the performance an eight; Bruno gives it a nine. Cheryl and Ian have 25 points. After both rounds, they have 47 points.
Up next are Kym and Joey. They are performing the mambo to “Pump it.” Again, the song distracts me, but in this instance, the dancing brings me back. The routine is energetic, sexy, and fun. What more can I say? That was great!
Len, who apparently fell asleep, comments on the amount of time Kym and Joey spent between each other’s legs. Yikes. Bruno says that the dance provided a good time. Carrie Ann wonders if the win is in the bag for Kym and Joey.
Carrie Ann and Bruno award the dance with a goober; Len gives it a nine. Kym and Joey have 29 points for this dance and a total of 55 points.
Performing next are Karina and Billy Ray. They are dancing to “My Way.” Billy Ray doesn’t do too badly… for Billy Ray. It has taken me all season, but I finally realize that he is a relaxed and casual dancer. In other words, he’d be fine dancing at a country bar, but not on a ballroom dance floor.
Bruno calls Billy Ray a wild beast that can’t be tamed. Carrie Ann says that Billy Ray makes people think they can dance, too. Len says that one of Billy Ray’s dances tonight had content and the other one didn’t.
Backstage, Billy Ray says that it’s hard to do well when people are rude with their comments. Karina agrees and wonders what you are supposed to do with “crap” as your critique. Samantha cuts them off, of course, to get the scores.
Carrie Ann gives the dance a six while Len and Bruno give it a snotty seven. Karina and Billy Ray have 20 points for the Latin round and a 38 overall.
Laila and Maksim are ready with their second performance. They’re dancing the jive to “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.” Laila starts off a bit rough, but eventually finds her groove. She appears to have fun the entire time and keeps up her energy.
Carrie Ann tells Laila to watch her arms. Len scolds Maksim for his choreography; he wants more dancing. Bruno goes on and on about an appetizer. It seems that the judges were pleased with Laila’s dancing, but not Maksim’s choreography.
Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance an eight; Len gives it a nine. Laila and Maksim have 26 points; for the evening, they have 53 total points.
The last dance of the evening is from Julianne and Apolo. They are dancing the paso doble to an instrumental piece that sounds like “My Darling Clementine.” At the start of the dance, Julianne and Apolo do a tricky move involving a split; unfortunately, it doesn’t go as planned. It doesn’t matter, though, because the rest of the dance is passionate and crisp. Apolo’s moves are superb.
Len says that the dance had everything it should have had. Bruno says that Apolo is in it to win it. Carrie Ann comments on her chills.
All three of the judges give the couple a goober; Julianne and Apolo have 30 points. Overall, they have 58 points out of 60. That’s impressive!
Tom and Samantha review the current standings and remind us that the semi-finals are next week. I’m throwing my standings in for your reading entertainment. Keep in mind that my rankings are based on how much I enjoyed the routines… pure and simple.
Will Karina and Billy Ray be put out of their misery tomorrow, or is there an upset in the making? I can’t guarantee immortality and world domination, but I’m sure we’ll have a good time. Join me then!
Jill is an east coast mama who loves sharks, zombie movies, and reality television. She welcomes your comments about these and other subjects, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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